Not Peer Reviewed
King John: A Burlesque
182SCENE III. -- The Court of Philip
183Enter Arthur, Constance, and Herald.
184Const. (C.) Lewis wed Blanche -- Oh what is to be done?
185France friends with England -- who'll protect my son?
186How dare you bring such news -- I hate your sight.
187Arthur. (R.) Dear madam be a little more polite.
188Const. If thou that biddest me be more polite,
189Were negro black, instead of lily white.
190I might obey thee -- but thou art so fair,
191It's such a shame, that I could almost swear --
192Fellow, I command thee get thee gone,
193And leave me with my sorrows all alone.
194Herald. Pardon me, madam, saying such rude things,
195But I can't go without you to the Kings.
196Const. But thou shalt go without me -- do you see,
197If the Kings want me, they must come to me.
198It's easy, sir, to say -- move on -- but oh!
199It's quite another thing to make one go.
200My load of grief is such the earth must share it,
201I'll make the Globe, one porter's knot to bear it.
202Here I and sorrow sit, (Throwing herself on the ground) let Kings come bow,
203This is my throne, I'm ready for a row.
204SONG -- Constance.
205Air -- "A Highland lad my love was born."
206To England's throne my son was born,
207Your master John, I hold in scorn;
208So tell him that, as soon as you can,
209And now you'd better go my nice young man.
210Sing hey, my very nice young man,
211Sing ho, my precious nice young man,
212You may try and move me if you can,
213But you won't succeed my nice young man!
214(Herald helps Constance up, -- flourish of Drums and Trumpets, Enter K. John, Philip, Lewis, Blanche, Austria, Elinor, Faulconbridge, Chatillon, and Hubert, L. Guards place two chairs in front.
215Phil. (R.C.) This is a day of jollity -- by jingo,
216We'll have a ball up at the Yorkshire Stingo.
217Const. (R.) I'll tell you what King Philip, it is true
218This business is throughout a reg'lar do.
219To fight for me you promised that you came,
220You've joined the other Party -- Oh! for shame.
221I'm regularly hoax'd and that's the truth.
224O Austria -- thou wretch -- thou coward slave,
225Who out of danger are exceeding brave.
226You who would kick the strongest man in town,
227If some one else should first have got him down.
228You that from real danger always shrink,
229You are a nice young man, I do not think.
230That hide is quite enough to make one grin,
231Thou perfect Neddy in a Lion's skin.
232Aus. Oh, that a man such language would begin.
234Aus. You daren't say that again, I bet a pin.
236K. John. We like not this, such fools I never saw,
237You both seem Neddys by your length of jaw. (Trumpet sounds.)
238(Enter, Cardinal Pandulph, L)
239Pandulph. King John, I've got a message from the Pope.
240K. John. None of his usual nonsense, sir, I hope.
241Pand. He asks why 'tis, you won't let Langton be
242Install'd at once in Canterbury's see.
243K. John. Go tell the pope, the king does as he pleases,
244And at his holy threats he only sneezes.
245SONG -- King John.
246Air -- " Swiss Toy Girl."
247I'm very glad to see
248 You sir, as a stranger;
249But it's very clear to me,
250 You'll be in some danger,
251If soon you don't be
252 From this place a ranger.
253So now you'd better go
254 To the pope back again.
255Pand. Philip of France, hear me when I command,
256In the pope's name let go rash England's hand.
257Aust. Obey the pope, Philip, withdraw your fin.
258Faul. You thorough Neddy, in a lion's skin.
259Phil. What must I do? I dread the papal power.
262Aust. To arms!
263Faul. Two legs would better answer you.
264K. John. I'll serve you out, you parlezvouing thief!
265Phil. I do defy you, Jacky Bull, roast beef.
266(Flourish -- Exeunt English L., French R.)