Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: David Bevington
Peer Reviewed

As You Like It (Modern)

Enter Rosalind for Ganymede, Celia for Aliena, and Clown, alias Touchstone.
Rosalind
Oh, Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!
785Touchstone
I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary.
Rosalind
I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's apparel and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose ought to show itself 790courageous to petticoat. Therefore, courage, good Aliena!
Celia
I pray you, bear with me; I cannot go no further.
Touchstone
For my part, I had rather bear with you than 795bear you; yet I should bear no cross if I did bear you, for I think you have no money in your purse.
Rosalind
Well, this is the Forest of Arden.
Touchstone
Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I. When I was at home I was in a better place, but travelers must 800be content.
Enter Corin and Silvius.
Rosalind
Ay, be so, good Touchstone. -- Look you, who comes here, a young man and an old in solemn talk.
[They stand aside and listen.]
Corin
[To Silvius]
That is the way to make her scorn you still.
805Silvius
Oh, Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her!
Corin
I partly guess; for I have loved ere now.
Silvius
No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
As ever sighed upon a midnight pillow.
810But if thy love were ever like to mine --
As sure I think did never man love so --
How many actions most ridiculous
Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?
Corin
Into a thousand that I have forgotten.
815Silvius
Oh, thou didst then never love so heartily!
If thou rememb'rest not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not loved.
Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
820Wearing thy hearer in thy mistress' praise,
Thou hast not loved.
Or if thou hast not broke from company
Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
Thou hast not loved.
825O Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe!
Exit Silvius
Rosalind
Alas, poor shepherd! Searching of thy wound,
I have by hard adventure found mine own.
Touchstone
And I mine. I remember, when I was in love, I broke my sword upon a stone, and bid him take that for 830coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I remember the kissing of her batler, and the cow's dugs that her pretty chapped hands had milked; and I remember the wooing of a peascod instead of her, from whom I took two cods, and giving her them again, said with weeping 835tears, "Wear these for my sake." We that are true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.
Rosalind
Thou speak'st wiser than thou art ware of.
Touchstone
Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till 840I break my shins against it.
Rosalind
Jove, Jove! This shepherd's passion
Is much upon my fashion.
Touchstone
And mine; but it grows something stale with me.
845Celia
I pray you, one of you question yond man
If he for gold will give us any food.
I faint almost to death.
Touchstone
[To Corin]
Holla, you clown!
Rosalind
Peace, fool! He's not thy kinsman.
850Corin
Who calls?
Touchstone
Your betters, sir.
Corin
Else are they very wretched.
Rosalind
Peace, I say. -- Good even to you, friend.
Corin
And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.
855Rosalind
I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed.
Here's a young maid with travel much oppressed,
And faints for succor.
860Corin
Fair sir, I pity her,
And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,
My fortunes were more able to relieve her;
But I am shepherd to another man,
And do not shear the fleeces that I graze.
865My master is of churlish disposition,
And little recks to find the way to heaven
By doing deeds of hospitality.
Besides, his cote, his flocks, and bounds of feed
Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,
870By reason of his absence, there is nothing
That you will feed on. But what is, come see,
And in my voice most welcome shall you be.
Rosalind
What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
Corin
That young swain that you saw here 875but erewhile,
That little cares for buying anything.
Rosalind
I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,
And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.
880Celia
And we will mend thy wages. I like this place,
And willingly could waste my time in it.
Corin
Assuredly the thing is to be sold.
Go with me. If you like upon report
885The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,
I will your very faithful feeder be,
And buy it with your gold right suddenly.
Exeunt.