Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: David Bevington
Peer Reviewed

As You Like It (Folio 1, 1623)

Scœna Tertia.
Enter Clowne, Audrey, & Iaques.
1615Clo. Come apace good Audrey, I wil fetch vp your
Goates, Audrey : and how Audrey am I the man yet?
Doth my simple feature content you?
Aud. Your features, Lord warrant vs: what features?
Clo. I am heere with thee, and thy Goats, as the most
1620capricious Poet honest Ouid was among the Gothes.
Iaq. O knowledge ill inhabited, worse then Ioue in
a thatch'd house.
Clo. When a mans verses cannot be vnderstood, nor
a mans good wit seconded with the forward childe, vn-
1625derstanding: it strikes a man more dead then a great rec-
koning in a little roome: truly, I would the Gods hadde
made thee poeticall.
Aud. I do not know what Poetical is: is it honest in
deed and word: is it a true thing?
1630Clo. No trulie: for the truest poetrie is the most fai-
ning, and Louers are giuen to Poetrie: and what they
sweare in Poetrie, may be said as Louers, they do feigne.
Aud. Do you wish then that the Gods had made me
1635Clow. I do truly: for thou swear'st to me thou art ho-
nest: Now if thou wert a Poet, I might haue some hope
thou didst feigne.
Aud. Would you not haue me honest?
Clo. No truly, vnlesse thou wert hard fauour'd: for
1640honestie coupled to beautie, is to haue Honie a sawce to
Iaq. A materiall foole.
Aud. Well, I am not faire, and therefore I pray the
Gods make me honest.
1645Clo. Truly, and to cast away honestie vppon a foule
slut, were to put good meate into an vncleane dish.
And. I am not a slut, though I thanke the Goddes I
am foule.
Clo. Well, praised be the Gods, for thy foulnesse; slut-
1650tishnesse may come heereafter. But be it, as it may bee,
I wil marrie thee: and to that end, I haue bin with Sir
Oliuer Mar-text, the Vicar of the next village, who hath
promis'd to meete me in this place of the Forrest, and to
couple vs.
1655Iaq. I would faine see this meeting.
Aud. Wel, the Gods giue vs ioy.
Clo. Amen. A man may if he were of a fearful heart,
stagger in this attempt: for heere wee haue no Temple
but the wood, no assembly but horne-beasts. But what
1660though? Courage. As hornes are odious, they are neces-
sarie. It is said, many a man knowes no end of his goods;
right: Many a man has good Hornes, and knows no end
of them. Well, that is the dowrie of his wife, 'tis none
of his owne getting; hornes, euen so poore men alone:
1665No, no, the noblest Deere hath them as huge as the Ras-
call: Is the single man therefore blessed? No, as a wall'd
Towne is more worthier then a village, so is the fore-
head of a married man, more honourable then the bare
brow of a Batcheller: and by how much defence is bet-
1670ter then no skill, by so much is a horne more precious
then to want.
Enter Sir Oliuer Mar-text.
Heere comes Sir Oliuer: Sir Oliuer Mar-text you are
wel met. Will you dispatch vs heere vnder this tree, or
1675shal we go with you to your Chappell?
Ol. Is there none heere to giue the woman?
Clo. I wil not take her on guift of any man.
Ol. Truly she must be giuen, or the marriage is not
1680Iaq. Proceed, proceede: Ile giue her.
Clo. Good euen good Mr what ye cal't: how do you
Sir, you are verie well met: goddild you for your last
companie, I am verie glad to see you, euen a toy in hand
heere Sir: Nay, pray be couer'd.
1685Iaq. Wil you be married, Motley?
Clo. As the Oxe hath his bow sir, the horse his curb,
and the Falcon her bels, so man hath his desires, and as
Pigeons bill, so wedlocke would be nibling.
Iaq. And wil you (being a man of your breeding) be
1690married vnder a bush like a begger? Get you to church,
and haue a good Priest that can tel you what marriage is,
this fellow wil but ioyne you together, as they ioyne
Wainscot, then one of you wil proue a shrunke pannell,
and like greene timber, warpe, warpe.
1695Clo. I am not in the minde, but I were better to bee
married of him then of another, for he is not like to mar-
rie me wel: and not being wel married, it wil be a good
excuse for me heereafter, to leaue my wife.
Iaq. Goe thou with mee,
1700And let me counsel thee.
Ol. Come sweete Audrey,
We must be married, or we must liue in baudrey:
Farewel good MrOliuer: Not O sweet Oliuer, O braue
Oliuer leaue me not behind thee: But winde away, bee
1705gone I say, I wil not to wedding with thee.
Ol. 'Tis no matter; Ne're a fantastical knaue of them
all shal flout me out of my calling. Exeunt