42OPen your eares; for which of you will stop

53The vent of hearing, when lowd Rumor speaks?

64I from the Orient to the drooping West,

75(Making the wind my poste-horse) still vnfold

86The acts commenced on this ball of earth,

97Vpon my tongues continuall slanders ride,

108The which in euery language I pronounce,

119Stuffing the eares of men with false reports,

1210I speake of peace while couert enmity,

1311Vnder the smile of safety, woundes the world:

1412And who but Rumor, who but onely I,

1513Make fearefull musters, and prepar'd defence,

1614Whiles the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefe,

1715Is thought with child by the sterne tyrant Warre?

1816And no such matter. Rumour is a pipe,

1917Blowne by surmizes, Iealousies coniectures,

2018And of so easie, and so plaine a stop,

2119That the blunt monster, with vncounted heads,

2220The still discordant wau'ring multitude,

2321Can play vpon it. But what need I thus

2422(My wel knowne body) to anothomize

2523Among my houshold? why is Rumor here?

A2

2624I runne before King Harries victorie,

2725Who in a bloudy field by Shrewsbury,

2826Hath beaten downe yong Hot-spurre and his troopes,

2927Quenching the flame of bold rebellion,

3028Euen with the rebels bloud. But what meane I

3129To speake so true at first? my office is

3230To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell

3331Vnder the wrath of noble Hot-spurs sword,

3432And that the King before the Douglas rage,

3533Stoopt his annointed head as low as death.

3634This haue I rumour'd through the peasant townes,

3735Betweene that royall field of Shrewsbury,

3836And this worme-eaten hole of ragged stone,

3937When Hot-spurs father old Northumberland

4038Lies crafty sicke, the postes come tyring on,

4139And not a man of them brings other newes,

4240Than they haue learnt of me, from Rumors tongues,

4341They bring smooth comforts false, worse then true wrongs.

4744Bard. Who keepes the gate here ho? where is the Earle?

4945Porter What shall I say you are?

5046Bard. Tell thou the Earle,

5147That the Lord Bardolfe doth attend him heere.

5248Porter His Lordship is walkt forth into the orchard,

5349Please it your honor knocke but at the gate,

5450And he himselfe will answer. Enter the Earle Northumberland.

5651Bard. Here comes the Earle.

5752Earle. What newes Lord Bardolfe? euery minute now

5853Should be the father of some Stratagem,

5954The times are wild, contention like a horse,

6055Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose,

6156And beares downe all before him.

6257Bard. Noble Earle,

6358I bring you certaine newes from Shrewsbury.

6459Earle Good, and God will.

6560Bard. As good as heart can wish:

6661The King is almost wounded to the death,

6762And in the fortune of my Lord your sonne,

6863Prince Harry slaine outright, and both the Blunts

6964Kild by the hand of Dowglas, yong prince Iohn,

7065And Westmerland and Stafford fled the field,

7166And Harry Monmouthes brawne, the hulke sir Iohn,

7267Is prisoner to your sonne: O such a day!

7368So fought, so followed, and so fairely wonne,

7469Came not till now to dignifie the times

7570Since Caesars fortunes.

7671Earle How is this deriu'd?

7772Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury?

7873Bar. I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence, enter Trauers.

7974A gentleman well bred, and of good name,

80That freely rendred me these newes for true.

8175Earle Here comes my seruant Trauers who I sent

8276On tuesday last to listen after newes.

8477Bar. My lord, I ouer-rode him on the way,

8578And he is furnisht with no certainties,

8679More then he haply may retale from me.

8780Earle Now Trauers, what good tidings comes with you?

8881Trauers My lord, sir Iohn Vmfreuile turnd me backe

8982With ioyfull tidings, and being better horst,

9083Out rode me, after him came spurring hard,

9184A gentleman almost forespent with speede,

9285That stopt by me to breathe his bloudied horse,

9386He askt the way to Chester, and of him

9487I did demand what newes from Shrewsbury,

9588He told me that rebellion had bad lucke,

9689And that yong Harrie Percies spur was cold:

9790With that he gaue his able horse the head,

9891And bending forward, strooke his armed heeles,

9992Against the panting sides of his poore iade,

10093Vp to the rowell head, and starting so,

10194He seem'd in running to deuoure the way,

A3 Stay-

10295Staying no longer question. Earle Ha? againe,

10496Said he, yong Harry Percies spur was cold,

10597Of Hot-spurre, Cold-spurre, that rebellion

10698Had met ill lucke?

10799Bard. My lord, Ile tell you what,

108100If my yong Lord your sonne, haue not the day,

109101Vpon mine honor for a silken point,

110102Ile giue my Barony, neuer talke of it.

111103Earle Why should that gentleman that rode by Trauers,

112104Giue then such instances of losse?

113105Bard. Who he?

114106He was some hilding fellow that had stolne

115107The horse he rode on, and vpon my life

116108Spoke at a venter. Looke, here comes more news. enter Mor-ton

118109Earle Yea this mans brow, like to a title leafe,

119110Foretells the nature of a tragicke volume,

120111So lookes the strond, whereon the imperious floud,

121112Hath left a witnest vsurpation.

122113Say Mourton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?

123114Mour. I ranne from Shrewsbury my noble lord,

124115Where hatefull death put on his vgliest maske,

125116To fright our partie.

126117Earle How doth my sonne and brother?

127118Thou tremblest, and the whitenes in thy cheeke,

128119Is apter then thy tongue to tell thy arrand,

129120Euen such a man, so faint, so spirritlesse,

130121So dull, so dead in looke, so woe begon,

131122Drew Priams curtaine in the dead of night,

132123And would haue told him, halfe his Troy was burnt:

133124But Priam found the fier, ere he, his tongue,

134125And I, my Percies death, ere thou reportst it.

135126This thou wouldst say, Your son did thus and thus,

136127Your brother thus: so fought the noble Dowglas,

137128Stopping my greedy eare with their bold deedes,

138129But in the end, to stop my eare indeed,

139130Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,

140131Ending with brother, sonne, and all are dead.

141132Mour. Douglas is liuing, and your brother yet,

142133But for my Lord your sonne:

143134Earle Why he is dead?

144135See what a ready tongue Suspition hath!

145136He that but feares the thing hee would not know,

146137Hath by instinct, knowledge from others eies,

147138That what he feard is chanced: yet speake Mourton,

148139Tell thou an Earle, his diuination lies,

149140And I will take it as a sweete disgrace,

150141And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.

151142Mour. You are too great to be by me gainsaid,

152143Your spirite is too true, your feares too certaine.

153144Earle Yet for all this, say not that Percie's dead,

154145I see a strange confession in thine eie,

155146Thou shakst thy head, and holdst it feare, or sinne,

156147To speake a truth: if he be slaine,

157148The tongne offends not that reports his death,

158149And he doth sinne that doth belie the dead,

159150Not he which saies the dead is not aliue,

160151Yet the first bringer of vnwelcome newes

161152Hath but a loosing office, and his tongue

162153Sounds euer after as a sullen bell,

163154Remembred tolling a departing friend.

164155Bard. I cannot thinke, my Lord, your sonne is dead.

165156Mour. I am sory I should force you to beleeue,

166157That which I would to God I had not seene,

167158But these mine eies saw him in bloudy state,

168159Rendring faint quittance, wearied, and out-breathd,

169160To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat downe

170161The neuer daunted Percy to the earth,

171162From whence with life he neuer more sprung vp.

172163In few his death, whose spirite lent a fire,

173164Euen to the dullest peasant in his campe,

174165Being bruted once, tooke fire and heate away,

175166From the best temperd courage in his troopes,

176167For from his mettal was his party steeled,

177168Which once in him abated, al the rest

178169Turnd on themselues, like dull and heauy lead.

179170And as the thing thats heauy in it selfe,

180171Vpon enforcement flies with greatest speed:

181172So did our men, heauy in Hot-spurs losse,

182173Lend to this weight such lightnesse with their feare,

183174That arrowes fled not swifter toward their ayme,

184175Than did our souldiers aiming at their safetie,

185176Fly from the field: then was that noble Worcester,

186177So soone tane prisoner, and that furious Scot,

187178The bloudy Douglas whose well labouring sword,

188179Had three times slaine th'appearance of the King,

189180Gan vaile his stomacke, and did grace the shame

190181Of those that turnd their backes, and in his flight,

191182Stumbling in feare, was tooke: the summe of all

192183Is, that the King hath wonne, and hath sent out,

193184A speedy power to incounter you my lord,

194185Vnder the conduct of yong Lancaster,

195186And Westmerland: this is the news at ful.

196187Earle For this I shal haue time enough to mourne,

197188In poison there is phisicke, and these newes,

198189Hauing beene wel, that would haue made me sicke:

199190Being sicke, haue (in some measure) made me wel:

200191And as the wretch whose feuer-weakned ioynts,

201192Like strengthlesse hinges buckle vnder life,

202193Impacient of his fit, breakes like a fire

203194Out of his keepers armes; euen so my limbes,

204195Weakened with griefe being now enragde with griefe,

205196Are thrice themselues: hence therfore thou nice crutch,

206197A scaly gauntlet now with ioynts of steele

207198Must gloue this hand, and hence thou sickly coife,

208199Thou art a guard too wanton for the head,

209200Which princes, flesht with conquest, ayme to hit:

210201Now bind my browes with yron, and approach

211202The raggedst houre that Time and Spight dare bring,

212203To frowne vpon th'inragde Northumberland,

213204Let heauen kisse earth, now let not Natures hand

214205Keepe the wild floud confind, let Order die,

215206And let this world no longer be a stage,

216207To feed contention in a lingring act:

217208But let one spirite of the first borne Cain

218209Raigne in all bosomes, that ech heart being set

219210On bloudy courses, the rude sceane may end,

220211And darknesse be the burier of the dead.

220.1212Vmfr. This strained passion doth you wrong my lord.

221213Bard. Sweet earle, diuorce not wisedom from your honor,

222214Mour. The liues of all your louing complices,

223215Leaue on you health, the which if you giue ore,

224216To stormy passion must perforce decay.

239217Bard. We all that are ingaged to this losse,

240218Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas,

241219That if we wrought out life, twas ten to one,

242220And yet we venturd for the gaine proposde,

243221Choakt the respect of likely perill fear'd,

244222And since we are oreset, venture againe:

245223Come, we will al put forth body and goods.

246224Mour. Tis more then time, and my most noble lord,

247225I heare for certaine, and dare speake the truth.

269226North. I knew of this before, but to speake truth,

270227This present griefe had wipte it from my mind,

271228Go in with me and counsell euery man,

272229The aptest way for safety and reuenge,

273230Get postes and letters, and make friends with speed,

274231Neuer so few, and neuer yet more need. exeunt.

277234Iohn Sirra, you giant, what saies the doctor to my water?

278235Page He said sir, the water it self was a good healthy water,

279236but for the party that owed it, he might haue moe diseases then

280237he knew for.

B Iohn

281238Iohn Men of al sorts take a pride to gird at me: the braine

239of this foolish compoũded clay-man is not able to inuent any

283240thing that intends to laughter, more then I inuent, or is inuẽted

284241on me, I am not only witty in my selfe, but the cause that wit is

285242in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow that hath

286243ouerwhelmd al her litter but one, if the prince put thee into my

287244seruice for any other reason then to sett me off, why then I

289245haue no iudgement thou horeson mandrake, thou art fitter to

290246be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heels I was neuer man-

291247ned with an agot till now, but I wil in-set you, neither in golde

292248nor siluer, but in vile apparell, and send you backe againe to

293249your master for a iewell, the iuuenall the prince your master,

294250whose chin is not yet fledge, I will sooner haue a beard grow

295251in the palme of my hand, then he shal get one off his cheek, &

296252yet he will not sticke to say his face is a face royal, God may fi-

298253nish it when he will, tis not a haire amisse yet, he may keepe it

299254still at a face royall, for a barber shall neuer earne sixpence out

300255of it, and yet heele be crowing as if he had writte man euer

301256since his father was a batcheler, he may keepe his owne grace,

302257but hees almost out of mine I can assure him: what said master

303258Dommelton about the sattin for my short cloake and my

304259sloppes?

305260Boy He saide sir, you should procure him better assurance

306261then Bardolfe, he would not take his band and yours, he liked

307262not the securitie.

308263sir Iohn Let him be damn'd like the glutton, pray God his

309264tongue be hotter, a horeson Achitophel! a rascall: yea forsooth

310265knaue, to beare a gentle man in hand, and then stand vpon se-

311266curity, the horson smoothy-pates doe now weare nothing but

312267hie shooes and bunches of keyes at their girdles, and if a man is

313268through with them in honest taking vp, then they must stand

314269vppon security, I had as liue they would put ratsbane in my

315270mouth as offer to stop it with security, I lookt a should haue

317271sent me two and twenty yards of sattin (as I am a true knight,)

318272and he sends me security: well he may sleepe in security, for he

319273hath the horne of aboundance, and the lightnesse of his wife

320274shines through it: wheres Bardolf, & yet can not he see though

321275he haue his owne lanthorne to light him.

323276Boy Hees gone in Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.

325277sir Iohn I bought him in Paules, and heele buy me a horse

326278in Smithfield, and I could get me but a wife in the stewes, I

327279were man'd, horsde, and wiu'd.

329281Boy Sir, here comes the noble man that committed the prince

330282for striking him about Bardolfe.

331283sir Iohn Wait close, I will not see him.

332284Iustice Whats hee that goes there?

333285seru. Falstaffe, and't please your lordship.

334286Iust. He that was in question for the rob'ry?

335287seru. He my Lord, but he hath since done good seruice at

336288Shrewsbury, & (as I heare,) is now going with some charge to

337289the lord Iohn of Lancaster.

338290Iust. What to Yorke? call him backe againe.

339291seru. Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

340292Iohn Boy, tell him I am deafe.

341293Boy You must speake lowder, my master is deafe.

342294Iust. I am sure he is to the hearing of any thing good, goe

343295plucke him by the elbow, I must speake with him.

344296seru. Sir Iohn?

345297Falst. What? a yong knaue and begging? is there not wars?

346298is there not employment? doth not the King lacke subiects? do

347299not the rebels need souldiers, though it be a shame to be on any

348300side but one, it is worse shame to beg then to be on the worst

349301side, were it worse then the name of Rebellion can tell how to

350302make it.

351303seru. You mistake me sir.

352304Iohn Why sir, did I say you were an honest man, setting my

353305knighthood and my souldiership aside, I had lied in my throat

354306if I had said so.

355307seru. I pray you sir then set your knighthood, and your sol-

356308diership aside, and giue me leaue to tell you, you lie in your

357309throate, if you say I am any other then an honest man.

B2 Iohn.

359310Iohn I giue thee leaue to tell me, so I lay aside that which

360311growes to me, if thou getst any leaue of me, hang me, if thou

361312takst leaue, thou wert better be hangd, you hunt coũter, hence,

362313auaunt.

363314seru. Sir, my Lord would speake with you.

364315Iust. Sir Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.

365316Falst. My good Lord, God giue your lordship good time

366317of day, I am glad to see your lordship abroade, I heard say your

367318lordship was sicke, I hope your lordship goes abroade by ad-

368319uise, your lordship, though not clean past your youth, haue yet

369320some smack of an ague in you, some relish of the saltnes of time

321in you, and I most humbly beseech your lordship to haue a re-

371322uerend care of your health.

372323Iustice Sir Iohn, I sent for you before your expedition to

373324Shrewsbury.

374325sir Iohn Andt please your lorship, I heare his maiesty is re-

375326turnd with some discomfort from Wales.

376327Iust. I talke not of his maiesty, you would not come when I

377328sent for you.

378329Falst. And I heare moreouer, his highnes is falne into this

379330same horson apoplexi.

380331Iust. Well, God mend him, I pray you let me speake with

332you.

381333Falst. This appoplexi as I take it? is a kind of lethergie, and't

382334please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the bloud, a horson

335tingling.

383336Iust. What tell you me of it, be it as it is.

384337Falst. It hath it originall from much griefe, from study, and

385338perturbation of the braine, I haue read the cause of his effects

386339in Galen, it is a kind of deafenes.

387340Iust. I think you are falne into the disease, for you heare not

388341what I say to you.

389342Old. Very wel my lord, very wel, rather and't please you it is

390343the disease of not listning, the maladie of not marking that I

391344am troubled withall.

392345Iust. To punish you by the heeles, would amend the atten-

393346tion of your eares, and I care not if I doe become your

347phisitian.

394348Falst. I am as poore as Iob my lord, but not so pacient,

395349your Lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to

396350me, in respect of pouerty, but how I should be your pacient to

397351follow your prescriptions, the wise may make som dramme of

398352a scruple, or indeede a scruple it selfe.

399353Iust. I sent for you when there were matters against you for

400354your life to come speake with me.

401355Falst. As I was then aduisde by my learned counsail in the

402356lawes of this land seruice, I did not come.

403357Iust. Wel, the truth is sir Iohn, you liue in great infamy.

404358Falst. He that buckles himselfe in my belt cannot liue in

359lesse.

405360Iust. Your meanes are very slender, and your waste is great.

406361Falst. I would it were otherwise, I would my meanes were

407362greater and my waste slender.

408363Iust. You haue misled the youthfull prince.

409364Falst. The yong prince hath misled me, I am the felow with

410365the great belly, and he my dogge.

411366Iust. Wel, I am loth to gall a new heald wound, your daies

412367seruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little guilded ouer your nights

413368exploit on Gadshill, you may thanke th'vnquiet time, for your

414369quiet oreposting that action.

415370Falst. My lord.

416371Iust. But since all is well, keepe it so, wake not a sleeping

372wolfe.

417373Falst. To wake a wolfe, is as bad as smell a fox.

418374Iust. What you are as a candle, the better part, burnt out.

419375Falst. A wassel candle my lord, al tallow, if I did say of wax,

420376my growth would approue the truth.

421377Iust. There is not a white haire in your face, but should

422378haue his effect of grauity.

423379Falst. His effect of grauy, grauie, grauie.

424380Iust. You follow the yong prince vp and downe, like his

425381ill angell.

B3 Falst.

426382Falst. Not so my lord, your ill angell is light, but I hope he

427383that lookes vpon me will take me without weighing, and yet

428384in some respects I grant I cannot go. I cannot tell, vertue is of

429385so little regard in these costar-mongers times, that true valour

430386is turnd Berod, Pregnancie is made a Tapster, & his quick wit

431387wasted in giuing reckonings, all the other giftes appertinent

432388to man, as the malice of his age shapes the one not worth a

433389goosbery, you that are old consider not the capacities of vs that

435390are yong, you doe measure the heate of our liuers with the bit-

436391ternesse of your galles, and we that are in the vaward of our

437392youth, I must confesse are wagges too.

438393Lo. Do you set downe your name in the scroule of youth,

439394that are written downe, old with all the characters of age? haue

440395you not a moist eie, a dry hand, a yelow cheeke, a white beard,

441396a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? is not your voice broken,

442397your winde short, your chinne double, your wit single, and e-

443398uery part about you blasted with antiquitie, and will you yet

444399call your selfe yong? fie, fie, fie, sir Iohn.

445400Iohn My Lorde, I was borne about three of the clocke in

401the afternoone, with a white head, and something a round bel-

446402lie, for my voyce, I haue lost it with hallowing, and singing of

447403Anthems: to approoue my youth further, I will not: the truth

448404is, I am onely olde in iudgement and vnderstanding: and hee

449405that wil caper with me for a thousand markes, let him lend me

450406the money, and haue at him for the boxe of the yeere that the

451407Prince gaue you, he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke

452408it like a sensible Lord: I haue checkt him for it, and the yong

453409lion repents, mary not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silke,

455410and olde sacke.

456411Lord Well, God send the prince a better companion.

457412Iohn God send the companion a better prince, I cannot

458413ridde my hands of him.

459414Lord Well, the King hath seuerd you: I heare you are go-

460415ing with lord Iohn of Lancaster, against the Archbishop and

461416the Earle of Northumberland.

462417Iohn Yea, I thanke your prety sweet witte for it: but looke

463418you pray, all you that kisse my lady Peace at home, that our

464419armies ioyne not in a hote day, for, by the Lord, I take but two

465420shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweate extraordinarily:

466421if it be a hot day, & I brandish any thing but a bottle. I would

467422I might neuer spit white again: there is not a dangerous action

468423can peepe out his head, but I am thrust vpon it. Wel, I cannot

469424last euer, but it was alway yet the tricke of our English nation,

469.1425if they haue a good thing, to make it too common. If yee will

469.2426needs say I am an olde man, you should giue me rest: I would

469.3427to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is, I

469.4428were better to be eaten to death with a rust, than to be scoured

469.5429to nothing with perpetuall motion.

470430Lord Well, be honest, be honest, and God blesse your ex-

471431pedition.

472432Iohn Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to fur-

473433nish me forth?

474434Lord Not a penny, not a penny, you are too impatient to

475435beare crosses: fare you well: commend mee to my coosine

476436Westmerland.

477437Iohn If I do, fillip me with a three man beetle: A man can

478438no more separate age and couetousnesse, than a can part yong

479439limbs and lechery, but the gowt galles the one, and the pox

480440pinches the other, and so both the degrees preuent my curses,(boy.

482441Boy Sir.

483442Iohn What money is in my purse?

484443Boy Seuen groates and two pence.

485444Iohn I can get no remedy against this consumption of the

486445purse, borrowing onely lingers and lingers it out, but the dis-

487446ease is incurable: Go beare this letter to my lord of Lancaster,

488447this to the Prince, this to the Earle of Westmerland, and this to

489448olde mistris Vrsula, whome I haue weekely sworne to marry

490449since I perceiud the first white haire of my chin: about it, you

491450know where to finde me: a pox of this gowt, or a gowt of this

492451pox, for the one or the other playes the rogue with my great

494452toe. Tis no matter if I doe hault, I haue the warres for my

495453color, and my pension shal seeme the more reasonable: a good

496454wit will make vse of any thing; I will turne diseases to commo-

497455ditie.

501458Bishop Thus haue you heard our cause, and knowne our(meanes,

502459And my most noble friends, I pray you al

503460Speake plainely your opinions of our hopes,

504461And first Lord Marshall, what say you to it?

505462Marsh. I well allow the occasion of our armes,

506463But gladly would be better satisfied,

507464How in our meanes we should aduance ourselues,

508465To looke with forehead, bold, and big enough,

509466Vpon the power and puissance of the King.

510467Hast. Our present musters grow vpon the file,

511468To fiue and twenty thousand men of choise,

512469And our supplies liue largely in the hope

513470Of great Northumberland, whose bosome burnes

514471With an incensed fire of iniuries.

515472Bard. The question then Lord Hastings standeth thus,

516473Whether our present fiue and twentie thousand,

517474May hold vp head without Northumberland.

518475Hast. With him we may.

519476Bard. Yea mary, theres the point,

520477But if without him we be thought too feeble,

521478My iudgement is we should not step too far.

526479Bish. Tis very true lord Bardolfe, for indeede

527480It was yong Hot-spurs cause at Shrewsbury.

528481Bard. It was my Lord, who lined himselfe with hope,

529482Eating the ayre, and promise of supplie,

530483Flattring himselfe in proiect of a power,

531484Much smaller then the smallest of his thoughts,

532485And so with great imagination,

533486Proper to mad-men, led his powers to death,

534487And winking, leapt into destruction.

535488Hast. But by your leaue it neuer yet did hurt,

536489To lay downe likelihoods and formes of hope.

557490Bard. We fortifie in paper, and in figures,

558491Vsing the names of men in steed of men,

559492Like on that drawes the model of an house,

560493Beyond his power to build it, who (halfe thorough)

561494Giues o're, and leaues his part-created cost,

562495A naked subiect to the weeping clowdes,

563496And waste for churlish winters tyrannie.

564497Hast. Grant that our hopes (yet likely of faire birth)

565498Should be stil-borne, and that we now possest

566499The vtmost man of expectation,

567500I thinke we are so, body strong enough,

568501Euen as we are to equal with the King.

569502Bard. What, is the King but fiue and twenty thousand?

570503Hast. To vs no more, nay not so much, Lord Bardolfe,

571504For his diuisions, as the times do brawle,

572505And in three heads, one power against the French,

573506And one against Glendower perforce a third

574507Must take vp vs, so is the vnfirme King

575508In three diuided, and his coffers sound

576509With hollow pouertie and emptinesse.

577510Bish. That he should draw his seuerall strengths togither,

578511And come against vs in full puissance,

579512Need not to be dreaded.

580513Hast. If he should do so, French and Welch he leaues his

581514back vnarmde, they baying him at the heeles, neuer feare that.

583515Bar. Who is it like should leade his forces hither?

584516Hast. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmerland:

585517Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth:

586518But who is substituted against the French

587519I haue no certaine notice.

612520Bish. Shall we go draw our numbers, and set on?

613521Hast. We are Times subiects, and Time bids be gone. ex.

C Hostesse.

616523Hostesse Master Phang, haue you entred the action?

617524Phang It is entred.

618525Host. Wheres your yeoman? ist a lusty yeoman? wil a stand

619526too't?

620527Phang Sirra, wheres Snare?

621528Host. O Lord I, good master Snare.

622529Snare Here, here.

623530Phang Snare, we must arest sir Iohn Falstaffe.

624531Host. Yea good master Snare, I haue entred him and all.

625532Snare It may chaunce cost some of vs our liues, for he will

533stabbe.

626534Host. Alas the day, take heed of him, he stabd me in mine

627535owne house, most beastly in good faith, a cares not what mis-

628536chiefe he does, if his weapon be out, he will foyne like any di-

629537uell, he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.

631538Phang If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

632539Host. No nor I neither, Ile be at your elbow.

633540Phang And I but fist him once, and a come but within my

634541view.

635542Host. I am vndone by his going, I warrant you, hees an in-

636543finitiue thing vppon my score, good maister Phang holde him

637544sure, good master Snare let him not scape, a comes continually

638545to Pie corner (sauing your manhoods) to buy a saddle, and he

639546is indited to dinner to the Lubbers head in Lumbert streete to

640547master Smooths the silk man, I pray you since my exion is en-

641548tred, and my case so openly knowne to the worlde, let him be

642549brought in to his answer, a hundred marke is a long one, for a

643550poore lone woman to beare, and I haue borne, and borne, and

644551borne, and haue bin fubd off, and fubd off, and fubd off, from

645552this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on, there is

646553no honesty in such dealing, vnlesse a woman should be made

647554an asse, and a beast, to beare euery knaues wrong: yonder he

649555comes, and that arrant malmsie-nose knaue Bardolfe with him,

650556do your offices do your offices master Phãg, & master Snare,

651557do me, do me, do me your offices.

652559Falst. How now, whose mare's dead? whats the matter?

653560Phang I arrest you at the sute of mistris Quickly.

654561Falst. Away varlets, draw Bardolfe, cut me off the villaines

655562head, throw the queane in the channell.

656563Host. Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee in the chan-

657564nel, wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue, murder murder,

658565a thou honisuckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods officers and the

659566Kings? a thou honiseed rogue, thou art a honiseed, a man quel-

660567ler, and a woman queller.

661568Falst. Keepe them off Bardolfe.

661.1569Offic. A reskew, a reskew.

662570Host. Good people bring a reskew or two, thou wot, wot

663571thou, thou wot, wot ta, do do thou rogue, do thou hempseed.

664572Boy Away you scullian, you rampallian, you fustilarian, ile

665573tickle your catastrophe.

666575Lord What is the matter? keepe the peace here, ho.

667576Hostesse Good my lord be good to me, I beseech you stand

668577to me.

669578Lord How now sir Iohn, what are you brawling here?

670579Doth this become your place, your time, and businesse?

671580You should haue bin well on your way to Yorke:

672581Stand from him fellow, wherefore hang'st thou vpon him.

673582Host. O my most worshipful Lord, and't please your grace

674583I am a poore widdow of Eastcheape, and he is arrested at my

675584sute.

585Lord For what summe?

676586Host. It is more then for some my Lord, it is for al I haue, he

677587hath eaten me out of house and home, he hath put all my sub-

678588stance into that fat belly of his, but I wil haue some of it out a-

679589gaine, or I wil ride thee a nights like the mare.

681590Falst. I think I am as like to ride the mare if I haue any van-

682591tage of ground to get vp.

683592Lord How comes this sir Iohn? what man of good temper

684593would endure this tempest of exclamation; are you not asha-

685594med to inforce a poore widdow, to so rough a course to come

C2 by

686595by her owne.

687596Falst. What is the grosse summe that I owe thee?

688597Host. Mary if thou wert an honest man, thy selfe and the

689598mony too: thou didst sweare to me vpon a parcell guilt goblet,

690599sitting in my dolphin chamber, at the round table by a sea cole

691600fire, vpon wednesday in Wheeson weeke, when the prince

692601broke thy head, for liking his father to a singing man of Win-

693602sor, thou didst sweare to me thẽ, as I was washing thy wound,

694603to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife, canst thou deny

695604it, did not goodwife Keech the butchers wife come in then and

696605cal me gossip Quickly, comming in to borow a messe of vine-

697606gar, telling vs she had a good dish of prawnes, whereby thou

698607didst desire to eate some, whereby I told thee they were ill

699608for a greene wound, and didst thou not, when she was gone

700609down stayers, desire me, to be no more so familiarity, with such

701610poore people, saying that ere long they should cal me madam,

703611and didst thou not kisse me, and bid me fetch thee thirtie shil-

704612lings, I put thee now to thy booke oath, denie it if thon canst.

705613Falst. My lord this is a poore made soule, and she saies vp

706614and downe the towne, that her eldest sonne is like you, she

707615hath bin in good case, and the trueth is pouerty hath distracted

708616her, but for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may haue re-

709617dresse against them.

710618Lo. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, I am wel acquainted with your maner

711619of wrenching the true cause, the false way: it is not a confident

712620brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more then

713621impudent sawcines from you, can thrust me from a leuel con-

714622sideration: you haue as it appeares to me practisde vpon the

715623easie yeelding spirite of this woman, and made her serue your

715.1624vses both in purse and in person.

716625Host. Yea in truth my Lord.

717626Lo. Pray thee peace, pay her the debt you owe her, and vn-

718627pay the villany you haue done with her, the one you may doe

719628with sterling mony, and the other with currant repentance.

720629Falst. My Lord I will not vndergoe this snepe without re-

721630ply, you cal honorable boldnes impudent sawcinesse, if a man

722631wil make curtsie and say nothing, he is vertuous, no my Lord

723632my humble duty remembred, I will not bee your suter, I say

724633to you I do desire deliuerance from these officers, being vpon

725634hasty imployment in the Kings affayres.

726635Lord You speake as hauing power to do wrong, but an-

727636swer in th'effect of your reputation, and satisfie the poore wo-

728637man.

729638Falst. Come hither hostesse.

730639Lord Now master Gower, what newes. enter a messenger.

731640Gower The King my Lord, and Harry prince of Wales,

732641Are neare at hand, the rest the paper tells.

733642Falst. As I am a gentleman!

733.1643Host. Faith you said so before.

735Falst. As I am a gentleman, come, no more words of it.

736644Host. By this heaunly ground I tread on, I must be faine to

737645pawne both my plate, & the tapestry of my dining chambers-

739646Falst. Glasses glasses is the onely drinking, and for thy wals

740647a pretty sleight drollery, or the storie of the prodigal, or the

741648Iarman hunting in waterworke, is worth a thousand of these

742649bed-hangers, and these flie bitten tapestrie, let it be x. l if thou

743650canst: come, and twere not for thy humors, theres not a better

745651wench in England, goe wash thy face and draw the action,

746652come thou must not be in this humor with me, dost not know

747653me, come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.

748654Host. Pray thee sir Iohn let it be but twentie nobles, ifaith

749655I am loath to pawne my plate so God saue me law.

750656Falst. Let it alone, ile make other shift, youle be a foole stil.

752657Host. Well, you shall haue it, though I pawne my gowne,

753658I hope youle come to supper, youle pay me al together.

755659Falst. Wil I liue? goe with her, with her, hooke on, hooke

756660on. exit hostesse and sergeant.

757661Host. Will you haue Doll Tere-sheet meete you at supper.

759662Falst. No more words, lets haue her.

760663Lord I haue heard better newes.

761664Falst. Whats the newes my lord?

762665Lord Where lay the King to night?

C3 Mess.

763666Mess. At Billingsgate my Lord.

764667Falst. I hope my Lord al's wel, what is the newes my lord?

766668Lord Come all his forces backe?

767669Mess. No, fifteen hundred foot, fiue hundred horse

768670Are marcht vp to my lord of Lancaster,

769671Against Northumberland, and the Archbishop.

770672Falst. Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?

771673Lord You shall haue letters of me presently,

772674Come, go along with me, good master Gower.

773675Falst. My lord.

774676Lord Whats the matter?

775677Falstaffe Maister Gower, shall I intreate you with mee to

776678dinner?

777679Gower I must waite vpon my good lord here, I thank you

778680good sir Iohn.

779681Lord Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long,

780682Being you are to take souldiers vp

683In Counties as you go.

781684Falstaffe Will you suppe with mee maister Gower?

782685Lord. What foolish maister taught you these manners, sir

783686Iohn?

784687Falstaffe Maister Gower, if they become me not, hee was a

785688foole that taught them mee: this is the right fencing grace, my

786689Lord, tap for tap, and so part faire.

787690Lord Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great foole.

792692Prince Before God, I am exceeding weary.

793693Poynes Ist come to that? I had thought wearines durst not

794694haue attacht one of so hie bloud.

795695Prince Faith it does me, though it discolors the complexi-

796696on of my greatnes to acknowledge it: doth it not shew vildly

797697in me, to desire small beere?

798698Poynes Why a Prince should not be so loosely studied, as

799699to remember so weake a composition.

800700Prince Belike then my appetite was not princely gote, for

801701by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature smal beere.

802702But indeed these humble considerations make me out of loue

803703with my greatnesse. What a disgrace is it to mee to remember

804704thy name? or to know thy face to morow? or to take note how

805705many paire of silke stockings thou hast with these, and those

806706that were thy peach colourd once, or to beare the inuentorie of

807707thy shirts, as one for superfluitie, and another for vse. But that

809708the Tennis court keeper knows better than I, for it is a low eb

810709of linnen with thee when thou keepest not racket there, as thou

811710hast not done a great while, because the rest of the low Coun-

812711tries haue eate vp thy holland: and God knows whether those

812.1712that bal out the ruines of thy linnen shal inherite his kingdom:

812.2713but the Midwiues say, the children are not in the fault where-

812.3714vpon the world increases, and kinreds are mightily strengthe-

812.4715ned.

814716Poynes How ill it followes, after you haue labored so hard,

815717you should talke so ydlely! tell me how many good yong prin-

816718ces woulde doe so, their fathers being so sicke, as yours at this

816.1719time is.

818720Prince Shall I tel thee one thing Poynes?

819721Poynes Yes faith, and let it be an excellent good thing.

820722Prince It shall serue among wittes of no higher breeding

821723then thine.

822724Poynes Go to, I stand the push of your one thing that you

823725will tell.

824726Prince Mary I tell thee it is not meete that I should bee sad

825727now my father is sicke, albeit I could tell to thee, as to one it

826728pleases me for fault of a better to call my friend, I could be sad,

827729and sad indeede too.

828730Poynes Very hardly, vpon such a subiect.

829731Prince By this hand, thou thinkest me as farre in the diuels

830732booke, as thou and Falstaffe, for obduracie and persistancie,

831733let the end trie the man, but I tel thee, my heart bleeds inward-

832734ly that my father is so sick, and keeping such vile company as

833735thou arte, hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sor-

834736rowe.

835737Poynes The reason.

836738Prince What wouldst thou thinke of me if I should weep?

837739Poynes I woulde thincke thee a most princely hypocrite.

838740Prince It would bee euery mans thought, and thou arte

839741a blessed felow, to thinke as euery man thinkes, neuer a mans

840742thought in the world, keepes the rode way better then thine,

841743euerie man would thinke me an hypocrite indeede, and what

842744accites your most worshipfull thought to thinke so?

844745Poynes Why because you haue been so lewd and so much

845746engraffed to Falstaffe. Prince And to thee.

847747Poyne By this light I am well spoke on, I can heare it with

848748mine owne eares, the worst that they can say of me is that I am

849749a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow of my hands,

850750and those two things I confesse I cannot helpe: by the masse

851751here comes Bardolfe.

852753Prince And the boy that I gaue Falstaffe, a had him from

853754me Christian, and looke if the fat villaine haue not transformd

854755him Ape.

856756Bard. God saue your grace.

857757Prince And yours most noble Bardolfe.

858758Poynes Come you vertuous asse, you bashfull foole, must

859759you be blushing, wherefore blush you now? what a maidenly

860760man at armes are you become? ist such a matter to get a pottle-

861761pots maidenhead?

862762Boy A calls me enow my Lord, through a red lattice, and I

863763could discerne no part of his face from the window, at last I

864764spied his eies, and me thought he had made two holes in the ale

865765wiues peticote and so peept through.

867766Prince Has not the boy profited?

868767Bard. Away you horson vpright rabble, away.

869768Boy Away you rascally Altheas dreame, away.

870769Prince Instruct vs boy, what dreame boy?

871770Boy Mary my lord, Althear dreampt she was deliuered of

872771a firebrand, and therefore I call him her dreame.

873772Prince A crownes worth of good interpretation there tis boy.

875773Poines O that this blossome could be kept from cankers!

876774well, there is sixpence to preserue thee.

877775Bard. And you do not make him hangd among you, the gal-

878776lowes shall haue wrong.

879777Prince And how doth thy master Bardolfe?

880778Bard. Well my Lord, he heard of your graces comming to

881779towne, theres a letter for you.

882780Poynes Deliuerd with good respect, and how doth the mar-

883781tlemasse your master?

884782Bard. In bodily health sir.

885783Poynes Mary the immortall part needes a phisitian, but that

886784moues not him, though that be sicke, it dies not.

888785Prince I do allow this Wen to be as familiar with me, as my

889786dogge, and he holds his place, for looke you how he writes.

euery man must know that

892788as oft as he has occasion to name himselfe: euen like those that

893789are kin to the King for they neuer pricke their finger, but they

894790saye, theres some of the Kings bloud spilt: how comes that

895791(saies he) that takes vppon him not to conceiue the answer is as

896792ready as a borowed cap: I am the Kings poore cosin, sir.

898793Prince Nay they will be kin to vs, or they will fetch it from

899794Iaphet, but the letter,

902796Poynes Why this is a certificate.

903797Prince Peace.

905799Poynes He sure meanes breuity in breath, short winded,

914808Poynes My Lord, Ile steep this letter in sacke and make him

D eate

915809eate it.

916810Prince Thats to make him eate twenty of his words, but do

917811you vse me, thus Ned? must I marrie your sister?

918812Poynes God send the wench no worse fortune, but I neuer

919813said so.

920814Prince Wel, thus we play the fooles with the time, and the

921815spirits of the wise sit in the clowdes and mocke vs, is your ma-

922816ster here in London?

923817Bard. Yea my Lord.

924818Prince Where sups he? doth the old boare feede in the old

925819Franke?

926820Bard. At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheape.

927821Prince What companie?

928822Boy Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.

929823Prince Sup any women with him?

930824Boy None my lord, but old mistris Quickly, and mistris Dol

931825Tere-sheet.

932826Prince What Pagan may that be?

933827Boy A proper gentlewoman sir, and a kinswoman of my

934828masters.

935829Prince Euen such kinne as the parish Heicfors are to the

936830towne bull, shall we steale vpon them Ned at supper?

938831Poynes I am your shadow my Lord, ile follow you.

939832Prince Sirra, you boy and Bardolfe, no worde to your ma-

833ster that I am yet come to towne; theres for your silence.

942834Bar. I haue no tongue sir.

835Boy And for mine sir, I will gouerne it.

943836Prince Fare you well: go, this Doll Tere-sheete should be

945837some rode.

946838Poyns I warrant you, as common as the way between S. Al-

947839bons and London.

948840Prince How might we see Falstaffe bestow himself to night

949841in his true colours, and not our selues be seene?

950842Poynes Put on two letherne ierkins and aprons, and waite

951843vpon him at his table as drawers.

952844Prince From a god to a bul, a heauy descension, it was Ioues

953845case, from a pince to a prentise, a low transformation, that shal

954846be mine, for in enery thing the purpose must weigh with the

955847folly, follow me Ned. exeunt.

959849North. I pray thee louing wife and gentle daughter,

960850Giue euen way vnto my rough affaires,

961851Put not you on the visage of the times,

962852And be like them to Percy troublesome.

963853Wife I haue giuen ouer, I will speake no more,

964854Do what you wil, your wisedome be your guide.

965855North. Alas sweete wife, my honor is at pawne,

966856And but my going, nothing can redeeme it.

967857Kate O yet for Gods sake, go not to these wars,

968858The time was father, that you broke your word,

969859When you were more endeere to it then now,

970860When your owne Percie, when my hearts deere Harry,

971861Threw many a Northward looke, to see his father

972862Bring vp his powers, but he did long in vaine.

973863Who then perswaded you to stay at home?

974864There were two honors lost, yours, and your sonnes,

975865For yours, the God of heauen brighten it,

976866For his, it stucke vpon him as the sunne

977867In the grey vault of heauen, and by his light

978868Did all the Cheualry of England moue

979869To do braue acts, he was indeede the glasse

980870Wherein the noble youth did dresse themselues.

1004871North. Beshrew your heart,

1005872Faire daughter, you do draw my spirites from me,

1006873With new lamenting ancient ouersights,

1007874But I must go and meete with danger there,

1008875Or it will seeke me in an other place,

1009876And find me worse prouided.

1010877Wife O flie to Scotland,

1011878Till that the nobles and the armed commons,

1012879Haue of their puissance made a little taste.

1013880Kate If they get ground and vantage of the King,

D2 Then

1014881Then ioyne you with them like a ribbe of steele,

1015882To make strength stronger: but for al our loues,

1016883First let them trie themselues, so did your sonne,

1017884He was so suffred, so came I a widow,

1018885And neuer shall haue length of life enough,

1019886To raine vpon remembrance with mine eies,

1020887That it may grow and sprout as high as heauen,

1021888For recordation to my noble husband.

1022889North. Come, come, go in with me, tis with my mind,

1023890As with the tide, sweld vp vnto his height,

1024891That makes a stil stand, running neither way,

1025892Faine would I go to meete the Archbishop,

1026893But many thousand reasons hold me backe,

1027894I will resolue for Scotland, there am I,

1028895Till time and vantage craue my company. exeunt.

1031897Francis What the diuel hast thou brought there apple

898Iohns? thou knowest sir Iohn cannot indure an apple Iohn.

1034899Draw. Mas thou saist true, the prince once set a dish of ap-

1035900ple Iohns before him, and tolde him there were fiue more sir

1036901Iohns, and putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leaue of

1037902these six drie, round, old, withered Knights, it angred him to

1038903the heart, but he hath forgot that.

1040904Fran. Why then couer and set them downe, and see if

1041905thou canst find out Sneakes Noise, mistris Tere-sheet would

1042906faine heare some musique.

1042.1907Dra. Dispatch, the roome where they supt is too hot, theile

1042.2908come in straight.

1043909Francis Sirra, here wil be the prince and master Poynes a-

1044910non, and they will put on two of our ierkins and aprons, and sir

1045911Iohn must not know of it, Bardolfe hath brought word.

1047913Dra. By the mas here will be old vtis, it wil be an excellent

1048914stratagem.

1049915Francis Ile see if I can find out Sneake. exit

1051917Quickly Yfaith sweet heart, me thinkes now you are in an

1052918excellent good temperalitie. Your pulsidge beates as extraor-

1053919dinarily as heart would desire, and your colour I warrant you

1054920is as red as any rose, in good truth law: but yfaith you haue

1055921drunke too much cannaries, and thats a maruelous searching

1056922wine, and it perfumes the bloud ere one can say, whats this,

1057923how do you now?

1058924Tere. Better then I was: hem.

1059925Qui. Why thats well said, a good heart's worth gold: loe

1060926here comes sir Iohn.

empty the iourdan

: how now mistris Doll?

1064930host. Sicke of a calme, yea good faith.

1065931Falst. So is all her sect, and they be once in a calme they are

1066932sicke.

1067933Tere. A pox damne you, you muddie rascall, is that all the

934comfort you giue me?

1069935Falst. You make fat rascals mistris Dol.

1070936Tere. I make them? gluttonie, and diseases make, I make

1071937them not.

1072938Falst. If the cooke help to make the gluttonie, you helpe to

1073939make the diseases Doll, we catch of you Doll, we catch of you

1074940graunt that my poore vertue, grant that.

1075941Doll Yea ioy, our chaines and our iewels.

1076942Fa. Your brooches, pearles, & ouches for to serue brauely,

1077943is to come halting off, you know to come off the breach, with

1078944his pike bent brauely, and to surgerie brauely, to venture vpon

1079945the chargde chambers brauely.

1079.1946Doll Hang your selfe, you muddie Cunger, hang your

1079.2947self.

1081948host By my troth this is the old fashion, you two neuer meet

1082949but you fall to some discord, you are both ygood truth as rew

1083950matique as two dry tosts, you cannot one beare with anothers

1084951cõfirmities, what the goodyere one must beare, & that must be

1086952you, you are the weaker vessell, as they say, the emptier vessel.

D3 Doll.

1088953Dorothy Can a weake empty vessell beare such a huge full

1089954hogshead? theres a whole marchãts venture of Burdeux stuffe

1090955in him, you haue not seene a hulke better stuft in the hold.

1091956Come, ile be friends with thee iacke, thou art going to the

1092957wars, and whether I shall euer see thee againe or no there is no

1093958body cares.

1096960Dra. Sir, Antient pistol's belowe, and would speake with

1097961you.

1098962Dol Hang him swaggering rascal, let him not come hither

1099963it is the foule-mouthd'st rogue in England.

1101964host. If he swagger, let him not come here, no by my faith I

965must liue among my neighbours, Ile no swaggerers, I am in

1103966good name, and fame with the very best: shut the doore, there

1104967comes no swaggerers here, I haue not liu'd al this while to haue

1105968swaggering now, shut the doore I pray you.

1107969Fal. Dost thou heare hostesse?

1108970Host. Pray ye pacifie your selfe sir Iohn, there comes no

1109971swaggerers here.

1110972Fal. Dost thou heare? it is mine Ancient.

1111973Ho. Tilly fally, sir Iohn, nere tel me: & your ancient swag-

1112974grer comes not in my doores: I was before maister Tisicke

1113975the debuty tother day, & (as he said to me) twas no longer ago

1114976than wedsday last, I good faith, neighbor Quickely, sayes he,

1115977maister Dumbe our minister was by then, neighbor Quickly

1116978(saies he) receiue those that are ciuil, for (saide he) you are in an

1117979ill name: now a saide so, I can tell whereupon. For (saies he)

1118980you are an honest woman, and well thought on, therefore take

1119981heede what ghests you receiue, receiue (saies he) no swagge-

1121982ring companions: there comes none here: you would blesse

1122983you to heare what he said: no, Ile no swaggrers.

1124984Falst. Hees no swaggrer hostesse, a tame cheter yfaith, you

1125985may stroke him as gently as a puppy grey-hound, heele not

1126986swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turne backe in any

1127987shew of resistance, call him vp Drawer.

1129988Host. Cheter call you him? I will barre no honest man my

1130989house, nor no cheter, but I do not loue swagering by my troth,

1131990I am the worse when one saies swagger: feele maisters, how I

1132991shake, looke you, I warrant you.

1133992Teresh. So you do hostesse.

1134993Host. Doe I? yea in very trueth doe I, and twere an aspen

1135994leafe, I cannot abide swaggrers.

1137996Pistol God saue you sir Iohn.

1138997Fal. Welcome ancient Pistoll, heere Pistoll, I charge you

1139998with a cuppe of sacke, do you discharge vpon mine hostesse.

1141999Pist. I will discharge vpon her sir Iohn, with two bullets.

11431000Fal. shhe is pistoll proofe: sir, you shall not hardely offend

11441001her.

11451002Host. Come, Ile drink no proofes, nor no bullets, Ile drink

11461003no more than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.

11481004Pist. Then, to you mistris Dorothy, I will charge you.

11501005Doro. Charge me? I scorne you, scuruy companion: what

11511006you poore base rascally cheting lacke-linnen mate? away you

11521007mouldie rogue, away, I am meate for your maister.

11541008Pist. I know you mistris Dorothy.

11551009Doro. Away you cutpurse rascall, you filthy boung, away,

11561010by this wine Ile thrust my knife in your mouldie chappes, and

11571011you play the sawcie cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale ras-

11581012call, you basket hilt stale iuggler, you. Since when, I pray

11591013you sir: Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? much.

11611014Pist. God let me not liue, but I will murther your ruffe for

1015this.

1161.11016sir Iohn No more Pistol, I would not haue you go off here,

1161.21017discharge your selfe of our company, Pistoll.

11621018Host. No, good captaine Pistoll, not here, sweete captaine.

11641019Doro. Captain, thou abhominable damnd cheter, art thou

11651020not ashamed to be called Captaine? and Captaines were of my

11661021mind, they would trunchion you out, for taking their names

11671022vpon you, before you haue earnd them: you a captaine? you

11681023slaue, for what? for teareing a poore whoores ruffe in a bawdy

11691024house: hee a captaine! hang him rogue, he liues vpon mowldy

11701025stewd pruins, and dried cakes: a captaine? Gods light these vil-

11711026laines wil make the word as odious as the word occupy, which

1171.11027was an excellent good worde before it was il sorted, therefore

11721028captains had neede look too't.

11741029Bard. Pray thee go downe good Ancient.

11751030Falst. Hearke thee hither mistris Dol.

11761031Pist. Not I, I tell thee what corporall Bardolfe, I could

11771032teare her, Ile be reuengde of her.

11781033Boy Pray thee go downe.

11791034Pist. Ile see her damnd first, to Plutoes damnd lake by this

11801035hãd to th'infernal deep, with erebus & tortures vile also: holde

11811036hooke and line, say I: downe, downe dogges, downe faters haue

11821037we not Hiren here?

11831038Host. Good captaine Peesell be quiet, tis very late yfaith, I

11841039beseeke you now aggrauate your choller.

11851040Pist These be good humors indeede, shal pack-horses, and

11861041hollow pamperd iades of Asia which cannot goe but thirtie

11871042mile a day, compare with Caesars and with Canibals, and tro-

11881043iant Greekes? nay rather damne them with King Cerberus, and

11891044let the Welkin roare, shall we fall foule for toies?

11911045Host. By my troth captaine, these are very bitter words.

11931046Bard. Be gone good Ancient, this will grow to a brawle

11941047anon.

11951048Pist. Men like dogges giue crownes like pins, haue we not

11961049Hiren here?

11971050Host. A my word Captaine, theres none such here, what

11981051the goodyeare do you thinke I would denie her? for Gods sake

11991052be quiet.

12001053Pist. Then feed and be fat, my faire Calipolis, come giues

12011054some sacke, si fortune me tormente sperato me contento, feare we

12021055brode sides? no, let the fiend giue fire, giue me some sacke, and

12031056sweet hart, lie thou there, come we to ful points here? and are &

12041057caeteraes, no things?

12061058Falst. Pistol, I would be quiet.

12071059Pist. Sweet Knight, I kisse thy neaffe, what, we haue seene

12081060the seuen starres.

12091061Dol. For Gods sake thrust him down staires, I cannot indure

12101062such a fustian rascall.

12111063Pist Thrust him downe staires, know we not Galloway

12121064nagges?

12131065Falst. Quaite him downe Bardolfe like a shoue-groat shil-

12141066ling, nay, and a doe nothing but speake nothing, a shall be no-

12151067thing here.

12161068Bard. Come, get you downe staires.

12171069Pist. What shall we haue incision? shall we imbrew? then

12181070death rocke me a sleepe, abridge my dolefull daies: why then

12191071let grieuons gastly gaping wounds vntwinde the sisters three,

12201072come Atropose I say.

12211073Host. Heres goodly stuffe toward.

12221074Falst. Giue me my rapier, boy.

12231075Dol I pray thee Iacke, I pray thee do not drawe.

12241076Fal. Get you downe staires.

12251077Host. Heres a goodly tumult, ile forsweare keeping house a-

12261078fore ile be in these tirrits and frights, so, murder I warant now,

12271079alas, alas, put vp your naked weapons, put vp your naked wea-

12281080pons.

12291081Dol. I pray thee Iack be quiet, the rascal's gone, ah you hor-

12301082son little vliaunt villaine you.

12311083Host. Are you not hurte i'th groyne? me thought a made a

12321084shrewd thrust at your belly.

12331085Fal. Haue you turnd him out a doores?

12341086Bar. Yea sir, the rascal's drunke, you haue hurt him sir i'th

12351087shoulder.

12361088Fal. A rascall to braue me?

12371089Dol A you sweet little rogue you, alas poore ape how thou

12381090sweatst, come let me wipe thy face, come on you horsone

12391091chops: a rogue, yfaith I loue thee, thou art as valorous as He-

12401092ctor of Troy, woorth fiue of Agamemnon, & ten times better

12411093then the nine Worthies, a villaine!

12431094Fal. Ah rascally slaue! I will tosse the rogue in a blanket.

12451095Dol Do and thou darst for thy heart, and thou dost, ile can-

12461096uas thee betweene a payre of sheetes.

E Boy.

12481097Boy The musique is come sir. enter musicke.

12491098Fal. Let them play, play sirs, sit on my knee Doll, a rascall

12501099bragging slaue! the rogue fled from me like quicksiluer.

12521100Dol Yfaith and thou followdst him like a church, thou

12531101horson little tydee Bartholemew borepigge, when wilt thou

12541102leaue fighting a daies and foyning a nights, and begin to patch

12551103vp thine old body for heauen.

12571105Fal Peace good Doll, do not speake like a deathes head, do

12581106not bid me remember mine end.

12591107Dol Sirra, what humour's the prince of?

12601108Fal. A good shallow yong fellow, a would haue made a

12611109good pantler, a would a chipt bread wel.

12631110Dol They say Poines has a good wit.

12641111Fal. He a good wit? hang him baboon, his wit's as thicke

12651112as Tewksbury mustard, theres no more conceit in him then is

12661113in a mallet.

12671114Dol Why does the prince loue him so then?

12681115Fal. Because their legges are both of a bignesse, and a plaies

12691116at quoites well, and eates cunger and fennel, and drinkes off

12701117candles endes for flappe-dragons, and rides the wilde mare

12711118with the boyes, and iumpes vpon ioynd-stooles, and sweares

12721119with a good grace, and weares his bootes very smoothe like

12731120vnto the signe of the Legge, and breedes no bate with tel-

12741121ling of discreet stories, and such other gambole faculties a has

12751122that show a weake minde, and an able bodie for the which the

12761123prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another, the

12781124weight of a haire wil turne scales between their haber de poiz.

12801125Prince Would not this naue of a wheele haue his eares cut

12811126off?

12821127Poynes Lets beate him before his whore.

12831128Prince Looke where the witherd elder hath not his poule

12841129clawd like a parrot.

12851130Poynes Is it not strange that desire should so many yeeres

12861131out liue performance.

12871132Falst. Kisse me Doll.

12881133Prince Saturne and Venus this yeere in coniunction? what

12891134saies th'Almanacke to that?

12901135Poyns And look whether the fierie Trigon his man be not

12911136lisping to his master, old tables, his note booke, his counsel kee-

12921137per?

12931138Falst. Thou dost giue me flattering busses.

12941139Dol By my troth I kisse thee with a most constant heart.

12961140Falst. I am old, I am old.

12971141Dol. I loue thee better then I loue, ere a scuruy yong boy of

12981142them all.

12991143Fal. What stuffe wilt haue a kirtle of? I shall receiue mony

13001144a thursday, shalt haue a cap to morrow: a merry song, come it

13011145growes late, weele to bed, thou't forget me when I am gone.

13041146Dol By my troth thou't set me a weeping and thou saist so,

13051147proue that euer I dresse my selfe handsome til thy returne, wel

13061148hearken a'th end.

13071149Fal. Some sacke Francis.

13081150Prince, Poynes Anon anon sir.

13091151Falst. Ha? a bastard sonne of the Kings? and arte not thou

13101152Poynes his brother?

13111153Prince Why thou globe of sinfull continents, what a life

13121154dost thou leade?

13131155Falst. A better then thou, I am a gentleman, thou art a

13141156drawer.

13151157Prince Very true sir, and I come to drawe you out by the

13161158eares.

13171159Host. O the Lord preserue thy grace: by my troth welcom

13181160to London, now the Lord blesse that sweete face of thine, O

13191161Iesu, are you come from Wales?

13201162Falst. Thou horson madde compound of maiestie, by this

13211163light, flesh, and corrupt bloud, thou art welcome.

13221164Doll How? you fat foole I scorne you.

13231165Poynes My lorde, he will driue you out of your reuenge,

13241166and turne all to a meriment if you take not the heate.

13261167Prince You horson candlemine you, how vildly did you

13271168speake of me now, before this honest, vertuous, ciuill gentle-

13281169woman?

E2 Host.

13291170Host. Gods blessing of your good heart, and so she is by my

13301171troth.

13311172Falst. Didst thou heare me?

13321173Prince Yea and you knew me as you did, when you ranne

13331174away by Gadshil, you knew I was at your backe, and spoke it,

13341175on purpose to trie my patience.

13351176Falst. No, no, no, not so, I did not thinke thou wast within

13361177hearing.

13371178Prince I shall driue you then to confesse the wilfull abuse,

13381179and then I know how to handle you.

13391180Falst. No abuse Hall a mine honour, no abuse.

13401181Prince Not to dispraise me, and cal me pantler and bread-

13411182chipper, and I know not what?

13421183Fal. No abuse Hall.

13431184Poynes No abuse?

13441185Falst No abuse Ned i'th worlde, honest Ned, none, I dis-

13451186praisde him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall

13461187in loue with thee: in which doing, I haue done the part of a

13471188carefull friend and a true subiect, and thy father is to giue me

13481189thankes for it, no abuse Hall, none Ned, none, no faith boyes

13491190none.

13501191Prince See now whether pure feare and intire cowardize,

13511192doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close

13521193with vs: is she of the wicked, is thine hostesse here of the wic-

13531194ked, or is thy boy of the wicked, or honest Bardolfe whose zeal

13541195burnes in his nose of the wicked?

13561196Poynes Answer thou dead elme, answer.

13571197Falst. The fiend hath prickt down Bardolfe irrecouerable,

13581198and his face is Lucifers priuy kitchin, where he doth nothing

13591199but rost mault-worms, for the boy there is a good angel about

13601200him, but the diuel blinds him too.

13621201Prince For the weomen.

13631202Falst. For one of them shees in hell already, and burnes

13641203poore soules: for th'other I owe her mony, and whether she be

13651204damnd for that I know not.

13671205Host. No I warrant you.

13681206Falst. No I thinke thou art not, I thinke thou art quit for

13691207that, mary there is another inditement vpon thee, for suffering

13701208flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law, for the which

13711209I thinke thou wilt howle.

13721210Host. Al vitlars do so, whats a ioynt of mutton or two in a

13731211whole Lent?

13741212Prince You gentlewoman.

13751213Dol. What saies your grace?

13761214Fal. His grace saies that which his flesh rebels against.

13781216Host. Who knockes so lowd at doore? looke too'th doore

13791217there Francis.

13811218Prince Peyto, how now, what newes?

13821219Peyto The King your father is at Weminster,

13831220And there are twenty weake and wearied postes,

13841221Come from the North, and as I came along

13851222I met and ouertooke a dozen captaines,

13861223Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the Tauernes,

13871224And asking euery one for sir Iohn Falstaffe.

13881225Prince By heauen Poines, I feele me much too blame,

13891226So idely to prophane the precious time,

13901227When tempest of commotion like the south,

13911228Borne with blacke vapour, doth begin to melt,

13921229And drop vpon our bare vnarmed heads,

13931230Giue me my sword and cloke: Falstaffe, good night.

13951232Fal. Now comes in the sweetest morsell of the night, & we

13961233must hence and leaue it vnpickt: more knocking at the doore?

13971234how now, whats the matter?

E3 Bar.

13991235Bar. You must away to court sir presently,

14001236A dozen captaines stay at doore for you.

14011237Fal. Pay the musitians sirra, farewel hostesse, farewel Dol,

14021238you see (my good wenches) how men of merit are sought af-

14031239ter, the vndeseruer may sleepe, when the man of action is calld

14041240on, farewell good wenches, if I bee not sent away poste, I will

14051241see you againe ere I goe.

14071242Dol. I cannot speake: if my heart be not ready to burst: wel

14081243sweete Iacke haue a care of thy selfe.

14101244Fal. Farewell, farewell. exit.

14111245Host. Well, fare thee well, I haue knowne thee these twenty

14121246nine yeares, come pease-cod time, but an honester, and truer

14131247hearted man: wel, fare thee wel.

14151248Bard. Mistris Tere-sheete.

14161249Host. Whats the matter?

14171250Bard. Bid mistris Tere-sheete come to my master.

14181251Host. O runne Doll, runne, runne good Doll, come, she

1418.11252comes blubberd, yea! will you come Doll?

14221256King Go call the Earles of Surrey and of War.

14231257But ere they come, bid them o're-reade these letters,

14241258And well consider of them, make good speed.

14251259How many thousand of my poorest subiects,

14261260Are at this howre asleepe? ô sleepe! ô gentle sleep!

14271261Natures soft nurse, how haue I frighted thee,

14281262That thou no more wilt weigh my eye-liddes downe,

14291263And steep my sences in forgetfulnesse,

14301264Why rather sleepe liest thou in smoaky cribbes,

14311265Vpon vneasie pallets stretching thee,

14321266And husht with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber,

14331267Then in the perfumde chambers of the great,

14341268Vnder the canopies of costly state,

14351269And lulld with sound of sweetest melody?

14361270O thou dull god, why li'ste thou with the vile

14371271In lothsome beds, and leauest the kingly couch,

14381272A watch-case, or a common larum bell?

14391273Wilt thou vpon the high and giddy masse,

14401274Seale vp the ship-boies eies, and rocke his braines,

14411275In cradle of the rude imperious surge,

14421276And in the visitation of the winds,

14431277Who take the ruffian pillowes by the top,