Come on, come on, come on, sir, give me your 1535hand, sir, give me your hand sir. An early stirrer, by 1536the rood! And how doth my good cousin Silence?

Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

And how doth my cousin your bedfellow? 1539And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter 1540Ellen?

Alas, a black ouzel, cousin Shallow.

By yea and no sir. I dare say my cousin 1543William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford still, is he 1544not?

Indeed, sir, to my cost.

'A must then to the Inns o'Court shortly. I was 1547once of Clement's Inn, where I think they will talk of mad 1548Shallow yet.

You were called "lusty Shallow" then, cousin.

By the mass I was called anything, and I would have done 1551anything indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and 1552little John Doit of Staffordshire, and Black George Barnes, 1553and Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You 1554had not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns 1555o'Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where 1556the bona robas were and had the best of them all at 1557commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, 1558a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about 1561soldiers?

The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break 1563Skoggin's head at the Court gate, when 'a was a crack, not 1564thus high; and the very same day did I fight with one Samson 1565Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the 1566mad days that I have spent! And to see how many of my old 1567acquaintance are dead.

We shall all follow, cousin.

Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure. Death, as the 1570psalmist saith, is certain to all. All shall die. How a good yoke 1571of bullocks at Stamford fair?

By my troth, I was not there.

Death is certain. Is old Double of your town 1574living yet?

Dead sir.

Jesu, Jesu, dead! 'A drew a good bow, and dead? 'A shot 1577a fine shoot. John o'Gaunt loved him well, and betted much 1578money on his head. Dead! 'A would have clapped i'th'clout at 1579twelve score, and carried you a forehand shaft a'fourteen and 1580fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man's heart 1582good to see. How a score of ewes now?

Thereafter as they be; a score of good ewes may be 1584worth ten pounds.

And is old Double dead?

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff's men, as I 1588think.

3.2.211589ShallowGood morrow, honest gentlemen.

I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

I am Robert Shallow sir, a poor esquire of this 1592county, and one of the king's justices of the peace. What is 1593your pleasure with me?

My captain, sir, commends him to you -- my 1595captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most 1596gallant leader.

He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword 1598man. How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady 1599his wife doth?

Sir, pardon, a soldier is better accommodated than 1601with a wife.

It is well said, in faith sir, and it is well said indeed too. "Better accommodated" -- it is good, yea indeed is 1604it. Good phrases are surely, and ever were, very 1605commendable. "Accommodated" -- it comes of accommodo -- very good, a 1606good phrase.

Pardon me sir, I have heard the word -- "phrase" 1608call you it? By this good day, I know not the phrase, but 1609I will maintain the word with my sword to be a 1610soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command, 1611by heaven. "Accommodated": that is, when a man is, as they 1612say, accommodated, or when a man is being whereby 'a 1613may be thought to be accommodated, which is an excellent 1614thing.

It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir John, give 1617me your good hand, give me your worship's good hand. 1618By my troth you like well and bear your years very well. 1619Welcome, good Sir John.

I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert 1621Shallow. [To Silence] Master Surecard, as I think?

No, Sir John, it is my cousin Silence, in commission with 1623me.

Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of 1625the peace.

Your good worship is welcome.

Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you 1628provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

Marry have we sir, will you sit?

Let me see them, I beseech you.

Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the 1632roll? Let me see, let me see, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. Yea, marry, sir -- 1633Rafe Moldy! -- let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them 1634do so. Let me see, where is Moldy?

Here, an it please you.

What think you Sir John? A good limbed fellow, young, 1638strong, and of good friends.

Is thy name Moldy?

Yea, an't please you.

'Tis the more time thou wert used.

Ha, ha, ha, most excellent i'faith: things that are 1643moldy lack use. Very singular good, in faith. Well said, Sir John, 1644 very well said.

Prick him.

I was pricked well enough before, an you could have 1647let me alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do 1648her husbandry, and her drudgery. You need not to have pricked 1649me: there are other men fitter to go out than I.

Go to; peace Moldy, you shall go, Moldy. It is time 1652you were spent.

Spent?

Peace fellow, peace, stand aside. Know you where you 1655are? For th'other, Sir John. Let me see -- Simon Shadow!

Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under, he's like to be 1658a cold soldier.

Where's Shadow?

Here sir.

Shadow, whose son art thou?

My mother's son sir.

Thy mother's son! Like enough, and thy father's 1664shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow of the male -- it is 1665often so indeed -- but not of the father's substance.

Do you like him Sir John?

Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him, for we have 1669a number of shadows fill up the muster book.

Thomas Wart!

Where's he?

Here sir.

Is thy name Wart?

Yea sir.

Thou art a very ragged wart.

Shall I prick him, Sir John?

It were superfluous, for his apparel is built upon his back, 1680and the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no more.

Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir, you can do it. I commend 1683you well. Francis Feeble!

Here sir.

What trade art thou, Feeble?

A woman's tailor, sir.

Shall I prick him, sir?

You may, but if he had been a man's tailor he'd ha'pricked 1691you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle, as 1692thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?

I will do my good will sir, you can have no more.

Well said, good woman's tailor. Well said, courageous 1696Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove, or most 1697magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor well, Master 1698Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.

I would Wart might have gone, sir.

I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst 1702mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a 1703private soldier, that is the leader of so many thousands. Let that 1704suffice, most forcible Feeble.

It shall suffice, sir.

I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?

Peter Bullcalf o'th'green.

Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.

Here sir.

'Fore god a likely fellow! Come, prick Bullcalf 1712till he roar again.

O lord, good my lord captain.

What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?

O lord, sir, I am a diseased man.

What disease hast thou?

A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught with 1718ringing in the king's affairs upon his coronation day, sir.

Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. We will 1721have away thy cold, and I will take such order that thy friends 1722shall ring for thee. Is here all?

Here is two more called than your number, you must 1724have but four here sir, and so I pray you go in with me to 1725dinner.

Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. 1727I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.

O Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night 1730in the Windmill in Saint George's Field?

No more of that Master Shallow.

Ha, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork 1734alive?

She lives, Master Shallow.

She never could away with me.

Never never, she would always say, she could not abide 1738Master Shallow.

By the mass, I could anger her to th'heart. She was 1740then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own well?

Old, old, Master Shallow.

Nay she must be old, she cannot choose but be old. 1743certain she's old, and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork, 1744before I came to Clement's Inn.

That's fifty-five year ago.

Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this 1747knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?

We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

That we have, that we have, that we have. In faith, Sir 1752John, we have. Our watch-word was "Hem, boys." Come, let's to 1753dinner, come let's to dinner. Jesus, the days that we have seen! 1754Come, come.

Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend, 1756and here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In 1757very truth sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go; and yet for mine 1758own part, sir, I do not care, but rather, because I am unwilling 1759and for mine own part have a desire to stay with my friends, 1760else, sir, I did not care for mine own part so much.

Go to, stand aside.

And good master corporal captain, for my old dame's 1764sake, stand my friend, she has nobody to do anything about 1765her when I am gone, and she is old and cannot help herself. 1766You shall have forty, sir.

Go to, stand aside.

By my troth, I care not, a man can die but once. We 1769owe god a death. I'll ne'er bear a base mind: an't be my 1770destiny, so; an't be not, so. No man's too good to serve's prince, 1771and let it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for 1772the next.

Well said, th'art a good fellow.

Faith, I'll bear no base mind.

Come sir, which men shall I have?

Four of which you please.

Sir, a word with you, I have three pound to free 1778Moldy and Bullcalf.

Go to, well.

Come, Sir John, which four will you have?

Do you choose for me.

Marry then: Moldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.

Moldy and Bullcalf: for you, Moldy, stay at home, till 1785you are past service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you 1786come unto it. I will none of you.

Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are 1788your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the 1789best.

Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose 1791a man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature, 1792bulk, and big assemblance of a man? Give me the 1793spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart, you see what 1794a ragged appearance it is. 'A shall charge you and 1795discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer, come 1796off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's bucket. 1797And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He 1798presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great 1799aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat, how 1800swiftly will this Feeble the woman's Tailor run off? O give 1802me the spare men, and spare me the great ones! Put me a 1803caliver into Wart's hand, Bardolph.

[Giving Wart the caliver] Hold Wart, travers thus, thus, thus.

Come, manage me your caliver. So, very well. Go to, very 1806good, exceeding good. O give me always a little lean, old, 1807chopped, bald shot. Well said, i'faith, Wart. Th'art a good scab. 1808[Giving Wart a coin] Hold, there's a tester for thee.

He is not his craft's master; he doth not do it right. I 1810remember at Mile-End Green, when I lay at Clement's Inn, 1811I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show. There was a little 1812quiver fellow and 'a would manage you his piece thus, and 'a 1813would about and about, and come you in, and come you in. 1815"Rah, tah, tah" would 'a say; "bounce" would 'a say, and away again 1816would 'a go, and again would 'a come. I shall ne'er see such a 1817fellow.

These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God keep 1819you, Master Silence. I will not use many words with you. Fare you 1820well gentlemen both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight. 1821Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.

Sir John, the lord bless you. God prosper your 1824affairs; god send us peace! At your return, visit our house; let 1825our old acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure I will with ye 1826to the court.

Fore god, would you would.

Go to, I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. On Bardolph, lead the men away.

3.2.1271831As I return I will fetch off 1832these justices. I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. 1833Lord, lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! 1834This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me 1835of the wildness of his youth, and the feats he hath done 1836about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid 1837to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him 1838at Clement's Inn, like a man made after supper of a cheese 1839paring. When 'a was naked, he was for all the world like a forked 1841radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. 1842'A was so forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were 1843invisible. 'A was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a 1843.1monkey, and the whores called him mandrake. 'A came ever in the 1844rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the 1844.1overscutched housewives that he heard the Carmen whistle, and 1844.2swore they were his fancies or his good-nights. And now is 1845this vice's dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly of 1846John o'Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him. And 1847I'll be sworn 'a ne'er saw him but once in the tilt-yard, and then 1849he burst his head for crowding among the marshal's men. I 1850saw it and told John o'Gaunt he beat his own name, for you 1851might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin. The 1852case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him a'court, and 1853now has he land and beefs. Well, I'll be acquainted with him 1855if I return, and't shall go hard, but I'll make him a philosopher's 1856two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for the old pike, 1857I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him, till 1858time shape, and there an end.