Not Peer Reviewed
Henry IV, Part 2 (Modern)
614[2.1]
Master Fang, have you entered the action?
It is entered.
Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman? Will 'a stand 619to't?
Sirrah! -- Where's Snare?
O lord, ay, good master Snare.
Here, here.
Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
Yea good Master Snare, I have entered him and all.
It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab.
Alas the day, take heed of him: he stabbed me in mine 627own house, most beastly, in good faith. 'A cares not what 628mischief he does, if his weapon be out, he will foin like any 629devil, he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
No, nor I neither, I'll be at your elbow.
An I but fist him once, an 'a come but within my 634view --
I am undone by his going, I warrant you; he's an 636infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him 637sure; good Master Snare let him not 'scape. 'A comes continuantly 638to Pie Corner (saving your manhoods) to buy a saddle, and he 639is indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert Street to 640Master Smooth's, the silk man. I pray you, since my exion is 641entered, and my case so openly known to the world, let him be 642brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a 643poor lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne, and 644borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off, from 645this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There is 646no honesty in such dealing, unless a woman should be made 647an ass and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he 649comes, and that errant malmsey-nose knave, Bardolph, with him. 650Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and Master Snare, 651do me, do me, do me your offices.
How now, whose mare's dead? What's the matter?
I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
Away varlets! Draw Bardolph, cut me off the villain's 655head, throw the quean in the channel.
Throw me in the channel? I'll throw thee in the 657channel! Wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue? Murder murder! 658Ah, thou honeysuckle villain, wilt thou kill god's officers and the 659king's? Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a honeyseed, a 660man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Keep them off, Bardolph.
A rescue, a rescue!
Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wot, wot 663thou, thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue, do, thou hempseed!
Away, you scullian, you rampallian, you fustilarian, I'll 665tickle your catastrophe!
2.1.22.1Enter Lord Chief Justice and his men.
What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!
Good my lord be good to me. I beseech you stand 668to me.
How now Sir John? What, are you brawling here? 670Doth this become your place, your time, and business? 671You should have been well on your way to York. 672Stand from him fellow; wherefore hang'st thou upon him?
O my most worshipful lord, an't please your grace, 674I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my 675suit.
2.1.27Justice
For what sum?
It is more than for some, my lord, it is for all I have. He 677hath eaten me out of house and home. He hath put all my 678substance into that fat belly of his; [To Falstaff] but I will have some of it out 679again, or I will ride thee a-nights like the mare.
I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any 682vantage of ground to get up.
How comes this Sir John? What man of good temper 684would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not 685ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come 686by her own?
[To the Hostess] What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the 689money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, 690sitting in my Dolphin chamber, at the round table by a sea-coal 691fire, upon Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the prince 692broke thy head, for liking his father to a singing man of 693Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, 694to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny 695it? Did not goodwife Keech the butcher's wife come in then and 696call me gossip Quickly, coming in to borrow a mess of 697vinegar, telling us she had a good dish of prawns, whereby thou 698didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee they were ill 699for a green wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone 700downstairs, desire me, to be no more so familiarity with such 701poor people, saying that ere long they should call me madam? 703And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty 704shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath, deny it if thou canst.
My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says up 706and down the town that her eldest son is like you. She 707hath been in good case, and the truth is poverty hath distracted 708her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have 709redress against them.
Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner 711of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a confident 712brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than 713impudent sauciness from you can thrust me from a level 714consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practiced upon the 715easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your 715.1uses both in purse and in person.
Yea, in truth, my lord.
Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and 718unpay the villainy you have done with her: the one you may do 719with sterling money, and the other with current repentance.
My lord I will not undergo this sneap without 721reply. You call honorable boldness, impudent sauciness; if a man 722will make curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, 723my humble duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say 724to you I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon 725hasty employment in the king's affairs.
You speak as having power to do wrong; but 727answer in th'effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor 728woman.
Come hither, hostess.
2.1.39.1[Takes her aside.]
2.1.39.2Enter [Master Gower.]
Now master Gower, what news?
The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales,
As I am a gentleman!
Faith, you said so before.
As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.
By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to 737pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining chambers.
Glasses, glasses is the only drinking, and for thy walls, 740a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the prodigal, or the 741German hunting in waterwork is worth a thousand of these 742bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pounds if thou 743canst. Come, and 'twere not for thy humors, there's not a better 745wench in England. Go wash thy face and draw the action. 746Come, thou must not be in this humor with me, dost not know 747me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles, i'faith 749I am loath to pawn my plate so god save me, la.
Let it alone, I'll make other shift. You'll be a fool still.
Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. 753I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together?
Will I live? [To Bardolph] Go with her, with her, hook on, hook 756on.
Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?
No more words, let's have her.
2.1.53.1Exit Hostess, [with officers, Bardolph, and Page].
[To Gower] I have heard better news.
What's the news my lord?
[To Gower] Where lay the king tonight?
At Basingstoke, my lord.
I hope, my lord, all's well. What is the news, my lord?
[To Gower] Come all his forces back?
No, fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse
Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
You shall have letters of me presently.
My lord!
Whats the matter?
Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to 776dinner?
I must wait upon my good lord here, I thank you, 778good Sir John.
Sir John, you loiter here too long, 780being you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go.
Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir 783John?
Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a 785fool that taught them me. [To Justice] This is the right fencing grace, my 786lord, tap for tap, and so part fair.
Now the lord lighten thee, thou art a great 788fool.
2.1.74.1[Exeunt.]