616Hostesse. Mr. Fang, haue you entred the Action?

617Fang. It is enter'd.

618Hostesse. Wher's your Yeoman? Is it a lusty yeoman?

619Will he stand to it?

620Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare?

621Hostesse. I, I, good M. Snare..

622Snare. Heere, heere.

623Fang. Snare, we must Arrest Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

624Host. I good M. Snare, I haue enter'd him, and all.

625Sn. It may chance cost some of vs our liues: he wil stab

626Hostesse. Alas the day: take heed of him: he stabd me

627in mine owne house, and that most beastly: he cares not

628what mischeefe he doth, if his weapon be out. Hee will

629foyne like any diuell, he will spare neither man, woman,

630nor childe.

631Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

632Hostesse. No, nor I neither: Ile be at your elbow.

633Fang. If I but fist him once: if he come but within my

634Vice.

635Host. I am vndone with his going: I warrant he is an

636infinitiue thing vpon my score. Good M. Fang hold him

637sure: good M. Snare let him not scape, he comes continu-

638antly to Py-Corner (sauing your manhoods) to buy a sad-

639dle, and hee is indited to dinner to the Lubbars head in

640Lombardstreet, to M. Smoothes the Silkman. I pra' ye, since

641my Exion is enter'd, and my Case so openly known to the

642world, let him be brought in to his answer: A 100. Marke

643is a long one, for a poore lone woman to beare: & I haue

644borne, and borne, and borne, and haue bin fub'd off, and

645fub'd-off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to

646be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing, vnles

647a woman should be made an Asse and a Beast, to beare e-

648uery Knaues wrong. Enter Falstaffe and Bardolfe.

649Yonder he comes, and that arrant Malmesey-Nose Bar-

650dolfe with him. Do your Offices, do your offices: M. Fang,

651& M. Snare, do me, do me, do me your Offices.

652Fal. How now? whose Mare's dead? what's the matter?

653Fang. Sir Iohn, I arrest you, at the suit of Mist. Quickly.

654Falst. Away Varlets, draw Bardolfe: Cut me off the

655Villaines head: throw the Queane in the Channel.

656Host. Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee there.

657Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue. Murder, mur-

658der, O thou Hony-suckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods of-

659ficers, and the Kings? O thou hony-seed Rogue, thou art

660a honyseed, a Man-queller, and a woman-queller.

661Falst. Keep them off, Bardolfe. Fang. A rescu, a rescu.

662Host. Good people bring a rescu. Thou wilt not? thou

663wilt not? Do, do thou Rogue: Do thou Hempseed.

664Page. Away you Scullion, you Rampallian, you Fustil-

665lirian: Ile tucke your Catastrophe. Enter. Ch. Iustice.

666Iust. What's the matter? Keepe the Peace here, hoa.

667Host. Good my Lord be good to mee. I beseech you

668stand to me.

669Ch. Iust. How now sir Iohn? What are you brauling here?

670Doth this become your place, your time, and businesse?

671You should haue bene well on your way to Yorke.

672Stand from him Fellow; wherefore hang'st vpon him?

673Host. Oh my most worshipfull Lord, and't please your

674Grace, I am a poore widdow of Eastcheap, and he is arre-

675sted at my suit. Ch. Iust. For what summe?

676Host. It is more then for some (my Lord) it is for all: all

677I haue, he hath eaten me out of house and home; hee hath

678put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I will

679haue some of it out againe, or I will ride thee o'Nights,

680like the Mare.

681Falst. I thinke I am as like to ride the Mare, if I haue

682any vantage of ground, to get vp.

683Ch. Iust. How comes this, Sir Iohn? Fy, what a man of

684good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?

685Are you not asham'd to inforce a poore Widdowe to so

686rough a course, to come by her owne?

687Falst. What is the grosse summe that I owe thee?

688Host. Marry (if thou wer't an honest man) thy selfe, &

689the mony too. Thou didst sweare to mee vpon a parcell

690gilt Goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber at the round

691table, by a sea-cole fire, on Wednesday in Whitson week,

692when the Prince broke thy head for lik'ning him to a sin-

693ging man of Windsor; Thou didst sweare to me then (as I

694was washing thy wound) to marry me, and make mee my

695Lady thy wife. Canst y^u deny it? Did not goodwife Keech

696the Butchers wife come in then, and cal me gossip Quick-

697ly? comming in to borrow a messe of Vinegar: telling vs,

698she had a good dish of Prawnes: whereby y^u didst desire to

699eat some: whereby I told thee they were ill for a greene

700wound? And didst not thou (when she was gone downe

701staires) desire me to be no more familiar with such poore

702people, saying, that ere long they should call me Madam?

703And did'st y^u not kisse me, and bid mee fetch thee 30.s? I

704put thee now to thy Book-oath, deny it if thou canst?

705Fal. My Lord, this is a poore mad soule: and she sayes

706vp & downe the town, that her eldest son is like you. She

707hath bin in good case, & the truth is, pouerty hath distra-

708cted her: but for these foolish Officers, I beseech you, I

709may haue redresse against them.

710Iust. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, I am well acquainted with your

711maner of wrenching the true cause, the false way. It is not

712a confident brow, nor the throng of wordes, that come

713with such (more then impudent) sawcines from you, can

714thrust me from a leuell consideration, I know you ha' pra-

715ctis'd vpon the easie-yeelding spirit of this woman.

716Host. Yes in troth my Lord.

717Iust. Prethee peace: pay her the debt you owe her, and

718vnpay the villany you haue done her: the one you may do

719with sterling mony, & the other with currant repentance.

720Fal. My Lord, I will not vndergo this sneape without

721reply. You call honorable Boldnes, impudent Sawcinesse:

722If a man wil curt'sie, and say nothing, he is vertuous: No,

723my Lord (your humble duty remēmbred) I will not be your

724sutor. I say to you, I desire deliu'rance from these Officers

725being vpon hasty employment in the Kings Affaires.

726Iust. You speake, as hauing power to do wrong: But

727answer in the effect of your Reputation, and satisfie the

728poore woman.

729Falst. Come hither Hostesse. Enter M. Gower

730Ch. Iust. Now Master Gower; What newes?

731Gow. The King (my Lord) and Henrie Prince of Wales

732Are neere at hand: The rest the Paper telles.

733Falst. As I am a Gentleman.

734Host. Nay, you said so before.

735Fal. As I am a Gentleman. Come, no more words of it

736Host. By this Heauenly ground I tread on, I must be

737faine to pawne both my Plate, and the Tapistry of my dy-

738ning Chambers.

g3 Falst.

739Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the onely drinking: and for

740thy walles a pretty slight Drollery, or the Storie of the

741Prodigall, or the Germane hunting in Waterworke, is

742worth a thousand of these Bed-hangings, and these Fly-

743bitten Tapistries. Let it be tenne pound (if thou canst.)

744Come, if it were not for thy humors, there is not a better

745Wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw thy

746Action: Come, thou must not bee in this humour with

747me, come, I know thou was't set on to this.

748Host. Prethee (Sir Iohn) let it be but twenty Nobles,

749I loath to pawne my Plate, in good earnest la.

750Fal. Let it alone, Ile make other shift: you'l be a fool

751still.

752Host. Well, you shall haue it although I pawne my

753Gowne. I hope you'l come to Supper: You'l pay me al-

754together?

755Fal. Will I liue? Go with her, with her: hooke-on,

756hooke-on.

757Host. Will you haue Doll Teare-sheet meet you at sup-

758per?

759Fal. No more words. Let's haue her.

760Ch. Iust. I haue heard bitter newes.

761Fal. What's the newes (my good Lord?)

762Ch. Iu. Where lay the King last night?

763Mes. At Basingstoke my Lord.

764Fal. I hope (my Lord) all's well. What is the newes

765my Lord?

766Ch. Iust. Come all his Forces backe?

767Mes. No: Fifteene hundred Foot, fiue hundred Horse

768Are march'd vp to my Lord of Lancaster,

769Against Northumberland, and the Archbishop.

770Fal. Comes the King backe from Wales, my noble L?

771Ch. Iust. You shall haue Letters of me presently.

772Come, go along with me, good M. Gowre.

773Fal. My Lord.

774Ch. Iust. What's the matter?

775Fal. Master Gowre, shall I entreate you with mee to

776dinner?

777Gow. I must waite vpon my good Lord heere.

778I thanke you, good Sir Iohn.

779Ch. Iust. Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long being you

780are to take Souldiers vp, in Countries as you go.

781Fal. Will you sup with me, Master Gowre?

782Ch. Iust. What foolish Master taught you these man-

783ners, Sir Iohn?

784Fal. Master Gower, if they become mee not, hee was a

785Foole that taught them mee. This is the right Fencing

786grace (my Lord) tap for tap, and so part faire.

787Ch. Iust. Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great

788Foole. Exeunt