348on any
side but one, it is wor
se
shame to begge, then to
349be on the wor
st side, were it wor
se then the name of Re
- 350bellion can tell how to make it.
351Ser. You mi
stake me Sir.
352Fal. Why
sir? Did I
say you were an hone
st man? Set
- 353ting my Knight-hood, and my Souldier
ship a
side, I had
354lyed in my throat, if I had
said
so.
355Ser. I pray you (Sir) then
set your Knighthood and
356your Souldier-
ship a
side, and giue mee leaue to tell you,
357you lye in your throat, if you
say I am any other then an
359Fal. I giue thee leaue to tell me
so? I lay a-
side that
360which growes to me? If thou get'
st any leaue of me, hang
361me: if thou tak'
st leaue, thou wer't better be hang'd: you
362Hunt-counter, hence: Auant.
363Ser. Sir, my Lord would
speake with you.
364Iust. Sir
Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.
365Fal. My good Lord: giue your Lord
ship good time of
366the day. I am glad to
see your Lord
ship abroad: I heard
367say your Lord
ship was
sicke. I hope your Lord
ship goes
368abroad by adui
se. Your Lord
ship (though not clean pa
st 369your youth) hath yet
some
smack of age in you:
some rel
- 370li
sh of the
saltne
sse of Time, and I mo
st humbly be
seech
371your Lord
ship, to haue a reuerend care of your health.
372Iust. Sir
Iohn, I
sent you before your Expedition, to
374Fal. If it plea
se your Lord
ship, I heare his Maie
stie is
375return'd with
some di
scomfort from Wales.
376Iust. I talke not of his Maie
sty: you would not come
378Fal. And I heare moreouer, his Highne
sse is falne into
379this
same whor
son Apoplexie.
380Iust. Well, heauen mend him. I pray let me
speak with
(you. 381Fal. This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethar
- 382gie, a
sleeping of the blood, a hor
son Tingling.
383Iust. What tell you me of it? be it as it is.
384Fal. It hath it originall from much greefe; from
study
385and perturbation of the braine. I haue read the cau
se of
386his e
ffe
cts in
Galen. It is a kinde of deafene
sse.
387Iust. I thinke you are falne into the di
sea
se: For you
388heare not what I
say to you.
389Fal. Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't plea
se
390you) it is the di
sea
se of not Li
stning, the malady of not
391Marking, that I am troubled withall.
392Iust. To puni
sh you by the heeles, would amend the
393attention of your eares, & I care not if I be your Phy
sitian
394Fal. I am as poore as
Iob, my Lord; but not
so Patient:
395your Lord
ship may mini
ster the Potion of impri
sonment
396to me, in re
spe
ct of Pouertie: but how I
should bee your
397Patient, to follow your pre
scriptions, the wi
se may make
398some dram of a
scruple, or indeede, a
scruple it
selfe.
399Iust. I
sent for you (when there were matters again
st 400you for your life) to come
speake with me.
401Fal. As I was then adui
sed by my learned Councel, in
402the lawes of this Land-
seruice, I did not come.
403Iust. Wel, the truth is (
sir
Iohn) you liue in great infamy
404Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cānnot liue in le
sse.
405Iust. Your Meanes is very
slender, and your wa
st great.
406Fal. I would it were otherwi
se: I would my Meanes
407were greater, and my wa
ste
slenderer.
408Iust. You haue mi
sled the youthfull Prince.
409Fal. The yong Prince hath mi
sled mee. I am the Fel
- 410low with the great belly, and he my Dogge.
411Iust. Well, I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound: your
412daies
seruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded ouer
413your Nights exploit on Gads-hill. You may thanke the
414vnquiet time, for your quiet o're-po
sting that A
ction.
416Iust. But
since all is wel, keep it
so: wake not a
sleeping
(Wolfe. 417Fal. To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to
smell a Fox.
418Iu. What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out
419Fal. A Wa
ssell-Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did
420say of wax, my growth would approue the truth.
421Iust. There is not a white haire on your face, but
shold
422haue his e
ffe
ct of grauity.
423Fal. His e
ffe
ct of grauy, grauy, grauy.
424Iust You follow the yong Prince vp and downe, like
426Fal. Not
so (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I
427hope, he that lookes vpon mee, will take mee without,
428weighing: and yet, in
some re
spe
cts I grant, I cannot go:
429I cannot tell. Vertue is of
so little regard in the
se Co
stor
- 430mongers, that true valor is turn'd Beare-heard. Pregnan
- 431cie is made a Tap
ster, and hath his quicke wit wa
sted in
432giuing Recknings: all the other gifts appertinent to man
433(as the malice of this Age
shapes them) are not woorth a
434Goo
seberry. You that are old, con
sider not the capaci
- 435ties of vs that are yong: you mea
sure the heat of our Li
- 436uers, with the bitternes of your gals: & we that are in the
437vaward of our youth, I mu
st confe
sse, are wagges too.
438Iust. Do you
set downe your name in the
scrowle of
439youth, that are written downe old, with all the Charrac
- 440ters of age? Haue you not a moi
st eye? a dry hand? a yel
- 441low cheeke? a white beard? a decrea
sing leg? an incre
sing
442belly? Is not your voice broken? your winde
short? your
443wit
single? and euery part about you bla
sted with Anti
- 444quity? and wil you cal your
selfe yong? Fy, fy, fy,
sir
Iohn.
445Fal. My Lord, I was borne with a white head, &
som
- 446thing a round belly. For my voice, I haue lo
st it with hal
- 447lowing and
singing of Anthemes. To approue my youth
448farther, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in iudge
- 449ment and vnder
standing: and he that will caper with mee
450for a thou
sand Markes, let him lend me the mony, & haue
451at him. For the boxe of th'eare that the Prince gaue you,
452he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a
sen
si- 453ble Lord. I haue checkt him for it, and the yong Lion re
- 454pents: Marry not in a
shes and
sacke-cloath, but in new
456Iust. Wel, heauen
send the Prince a better companion.
457Fal. Heauen
send the Companion a better Prince: I
458cannot rid my hands of him.
459Iust. Well, the King hath
seuer'd you and Prince
Har- 460ry, I heare you are going with Lord
Iohn of Lanca
ster, a
- 461gain
st the Archbi
shop, and the Earle of Northumberland
462Fal. Yes, I thanke your pretty
sweet wit for it: but
463looke you pray, (all you that ki
sse my Ladie Peace, at
464home) that our Armies ioyn not in a hot day: for if I take
465but two
shirts out with me, and I meane not to
sweat ex
- 466traordinarily: if it bee a hot day, if I brandi
sh any thing
467but my Bottle, would I might neuer
spit white againe:
468There is not a daungerous A
ction can peepe out his head,
469but I am thru
st vpon it. Well, I cannot la
st euer.
470Iust. Well, be hone
st, be hone
st, and heauen ble
sse your
472Fal. Will your Lord
ship lend mee a thou
sand pound,
474Iust. Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient
475to beare cro
sses. Fare you well. Commend mee to my
477Fal. If I do,
fillop me with a three-man-Beetle. A man
478can no more
separate Age and Couetou
sne
sse, then he can
479part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the
g2 one,