4OPen your Eares: For which of you will stop

5The vent of Hearing, when loud Rumor speakes?

6I, from the Orient, to the drooping West

7(Making the winde my Post-horse) still vnfold

8The Acts commenced on this Ball of Earth.

9Vpon my Tongue, continuall Slanders ride,

10The which, in euery Language, I pronounce,

11Stuffing the Eares of them with false Reports:

12I speake of Peace, while couert Enmitie

13(Vnder the smile of Safety) wounds the World:

14And who but Rumour, who but onely I

15Make fearfull Musters, and prepar'd Defence,

16Whil'st the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefes,

17Is thought with childe, by the sterne Tyrant, Warre,

18And no such matter? Rumour, is a Pipe

19Blowne by Surmises, Ielousies, Coniectures;

20And of so easie, and so plaine a stop,

21That the blunt Monster, with vncounted heads,

22The still discordant, wauering Multitude,

23Can play vpon it. But what neede I thus

24My well-knowne Body to Anathomize

25Among my houshold? Why is Rumour heere?

26I run before King Harries victory,

27Who in a bloodie field by Shrewsburie

28Hath beaten downe yong Hotspurre, and his Troopes,

29Quenching the flame of bold Rebellion,

30Euen with the Rebels blood. But what meane I

31To speake so true at first? My Office is

32To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell

33Vnder the Wrath of Noble Hotspurres Sword:

34And that the King, before the Dowglas Rage

35Stoop'd his Annointed head, as low as death.

36This haue I rumour'd through the peasant-Townes,

37Betweene the Royall Field of Shrewsburie,

38And this Worme-eaten-Hole of ragged Stone,

39Where Hotspurres Father, old Northumberland,

40Lyes crafty sicke. The Postes come tyring on,

41And not a man of them brings other newes

42Then they haue learn'd of Me. From Rumours Tongues,

43They bring smooth-Comforts-false, worse then True-

44 wrongs. Exit.

47L. Bar. Who keepes the Gate heere hoa?

48Where is the Earle?

49Por. What shall I say you are?

50Bar. Tell thou the Earle

51That the Lord Bardolfe doth attend him heere.

52Por. His Lordship is walk'd forth into the Orchard,

53Please it your Honor, knocke but at the Gate,

54And he himselfe will answer.

56L. Bar. Heere comes the Earle.

57Nor. What newes Lord Bardolfe? Eu'ry minute now

58Should be the Father of some Stratagem;

59The Times are wilde: Contention (like a Horse

60Full of high Feeding) madly hath broke loose,

61And beares downe all before him.

62L. Bar. Noble Earle,

63I bring you certaine newes from Shrewsbury.

64Nor. Good, and heauen will.

65L. Bar. As good as heart can wish:

66The King is almost wounded to the death:

67And in the Fortune of my Lord your Sonne,

68Prince Harrie slaine out-right: and both the Blunts

69Kill'd by the hand of Dowglas. Yong Prince Iohn,

70And Westmerland, and Stafford, fled the Field.

71And Harrie Monmouth's Brawne (the Hulke Sir Iohn)

72Is prisoner to your Sonne. O, such a Day,

73(So fought, so follow'd, and so fairely wonne)

74Came not, till now, to dignifie the Times

75Since Caesars Fortunes.

76Nor. How is this deriu'd?

77Saw you the Field? Came you from Shrewsbury?

78L. Bar. I spake with one (my L.) that came frōm thence,

79A Gentleman well bred, and of good name,

80That freely render'd me these newes for true.

81Nor. Heere comes my Seruant Trauers, whom I sent

82On Tuesday last, to listen after Newes.

84L. Bar. My Lord, I ouer-rod him on the way,

85And he is furnish'd with no certainties,

86More then he (haply) may retaile from me.

87Nor. Now Trauers, what good tidings comes frōm you?

88Tra. My Lord, Sir Iohn Vmfreuill turn'd me backe

89With ioyfull tydings; and (being better hors'd)

90Out-rod me. After him, came spurring head

91A Gentleman (almost fore-spent with speed)

92That stopp'd by me, to breath his bloodied horse.

93He ask'd the way to Chester: And of him

94I did demand what Newes from Shrewsbury:

95He told me, that Rebellion had ill lucke,

96And that yong Harry Percies Spurre was cold.

97With that he gaue his able Horse the head,

98And bending forwards strooke his able heeles

99Against the panting sides of his poore Iade

100Vp to the Rowell head, and starting so,

101He seem'd in running, to deuoure the way,

102Staying no longer question.

103North. Ha? Againe:

104Said he yong Harrie Percyes Spurre was cold?

105(Of Hot-Spurre, cold-Spurre?) that Rebellion,

106Had met ill lucke?

107L. Bar. My Lord: Ile tell you what,

108If my yong Lord your Sonne, haue not the day,

109Vpon mine Honor, for a silken point

110Ile giue my Barony. Neuer talke of it.

111Nor. Why should the Gentleman that rode by Trauers

112Giue then such instances of Losse?

113L. Bar. Who, he?

114He was some hielding Fellow, that had stolne

115The Horse he rode-on: and vpon my life

116Speake at aduenture. Looke, here comes more Newes.

118Nor. Yea, this mans brow, like to a Title-leafe,

119Fore-tels the Nature of a Tragicke Volume:

120So lookes the Strond, when the Imperious Flood

121Hath left a witnest Vsurpation.

122Say Morton, did'st thou come from Shrewsbury?

123Mor. I ran from Shrewsbury (my Noble Lord)

124Where hatefull death put on his vgliest Maske

125To fright our party.

126North. How doth my Sonne, and Brother?

127Thou trembl'st; and the whitenesse in thy Cheeke

128Is apter then thy Tongue, to tell thy Errand.

129Euen such a man, so faint, so spiritlesse,

130So dull, so dead in looke, so woe-be-gone,

131Drew Priams Curtaine, in the dead of night,

132And would haue told him, Halfe his Troy was burn'd.

133But Priam found the Fire, ere he his Tongue:

134And I, my Percies death, ere thou report'st it.

135This, thou would'st say: Your Sonne did thus, and thus:

136Your Brother, thus. So fought the Noble Dowglas,

137Stopping my greedy eare, with their bold deeds.

138But in the end (to stop mine Eare indeed)

139Thou hast a Sigh, to blow away this Praise,

140Ending with Brother, Sonne, and all are dead.

141Mor. Dowglas is liuing, and your Brother, yet:

142But for my Lord, your Sonne.

143North. Why, he is dead.

144See what a ready tongue Suspition hath:

145He that but feares the thing, he would not know,

146Hath by Instinct, knowledge from others Eyes,

147That what he feard, is chanc'd. Yet speake (Morton)

148Tell thou thy Earle, his Diuination Lies,

149And I will take it, as a sweet Disgrace,

150And make thee rich, for doing me such wrong.

151Mor. You are too great, to be (by me) gainsaid:

152Your Spirit is too true, your Feares too certaine.

153North. Yet for all this, say not that Percies dead.

154I see a strange Confession in thine Eye:

155Thou shak'st thy head, and hold'st it Feare, or Sinne,

156To speake a truth. If he be slaine, say so:

157The Tongue offends not, that reports his death:

158And he doth sinne that doth belye the dead:

159Not he, which sayes the dead is not aliue:

160Yet the first bringer of vnwelcome Newes

161Hath but a loosing Office: and his Tongue,

162Sounds euer after as a sullen Bell

163Remembred, knolling a departing Friend.

164L. Bar. I cannot thinke (my Lord) your son is dead.

165Mor. I am sorry, I should force you to beleeue

166That, which I would to heauen, I had not seene.

167But these mine eyes, saw him in bloody state,

168Rend'ring faint quittance (wearied, and out-breath'd)

169To Henrie Monmouth, whose swift wrath beate downe

170The neuer-daunted Percie to the earth,

171From whence (with life) he neuer more sprung vp.

172In few; his death (whose spirit lent a fire,

173Euen to the dullest Peazant in his Campe)

174Being bruited once, tooke fire and heate away

175From the best temper'd Courage in his Troopes.

176For from his Mettle, was his Party steel'd;

177Which once, in him abated, all the rest

178Turn'd on themselues, like dull and heauy Lead:

179And as the Thing, that's heauy in it selfe,

180Vpon enforcement, flyes with greatest speede,

181So did our Men, heauy in Hotspurres losse,

182Lend to this weight, such lightnesse with their Feare,

183That Arrowes fled not swifter toward their ayme,

184Then did our Soldiers (ayming at their safety)

185Fly from the field. Then was that Noble Worcester

186Too soone ta'ne prisoner: and that furious Scot,

187(The bloody Dowglas) whose well-labouring sword

188Had three times slaine th'appearance of the King,

189Gan vaile his stomacke, and did grace the shame

190Of those that turn'd their backes: and in his flight,

191Stumbling in Feare, was tooke. The summe of all,

192Is, that the King hath wonne: and hath sent out

193A speedy power, to encounter you my Lord,

194Vnder the Conduct of yong Lancaster

195And Westmerland. This is the Newes at full.

196North. For this, I shall haue time enough to mourne.

197In Poyson, there is Physicke: and this newes

198(Hauing beene well) that would haue made me sicke,

199Being sicke, haue in some measure, made me well.

200And as the Wretch, whose Feauer-weakned ioynts,

201Like strengthlesse Hindges, buckle vnder life,

202Impatient of his Fit, breakes like a fire

203Out of his keepers armes: Euen so, my Limbes

204(Weak'ned with greefe) being now inrag'd with greefe,

205Are thrice themselues. Hence therefore thou nice crutch,

206A scalie Gauntlet now, with ioynts of Steele

207Must gloue this hand. And hence thou sickly Quoife,

208Thou art a guard too wanton for the head,

209Which Princes, flesh'd with Conquest, ayme to hit.

210Now binde my Browes with Iron, and approach

211The ragged'st houre, that Time and Spight dare bring

212To frowne vpon th'enrag'd Northumberland.

213Let Heauen kisse Earth: now let not Natures hand

214Keepe the wilde Flood confin'd: Let Order dye,

215And let the world no longer be a stage

216To feede Contention in a ling'ring Act:

217But let one spirit of the First-borne Caine

g Reigne

218Reigne in all bosomes, that each heart being set

219On bloody Courses, the rude Scene may end,

220And darknesse be the burier of the dead.

221L. Bar. Sweet Earle, diuorce not wisedom from your (Honor.

222Mor. The liues of all your louing Complices

223Leane-on your health, the which if you giue-o're

224To stormy Passion, must perforce decay.

225You cast th'euent of Warre (my Noble Lord)

226And summ'd the accompt of Chance, before you said

227Let vs make head: It was your presurmize,

228That in the dole of blowes, your Son might drop.

229You knew he walk'd o're perils, on an edge

230More likely to fall in, then to get o're:

231You were aduis'd his flesh was capeable

232Of Wounds, and Scarres; and that his forward Spirit

233Would lift him, where most trade of danger rang'd,

234Yet did you say go forth: and none of this

235(Though strongly apprehended) could restraine

236The stiffe-borne Action: What hath then befalne?

237Or what hath this bold enterprize bring forth,

238More then that Being, which was like to be?

239L. Bar. We all that are engaged to this losse,

240Knew that we ventur'd on such dangerous Seas,

241That if we wrought out life, was ten to one:

242And yet we ventur'd for the gaine propos'd,

243Choak'd the respect of likely perill fear'd,

244And since we are o're-set, venture againe.

245Come, we will all put forth; Body, and Goods,

246Mor. 'Tis more then time: And (my most Noble Lord)

247I heare for certaine, and do speake the truth:

248The gentle Arch-bishop of Yorke is vp

249With well appointed Powres: he is a man

250Who with a double Surety bindes his Followers.

251My Lord (your Sonne) had onely but the Corpes,

252But shadowes, and the shewes of men to fight.

253For that same word (Rebellion) did diuide

254The action of their bodies, from their soules,

255And they did fight with queasinesse, constrain'd

256As men drinke Potions; that their Weapons only

257Seem'd on our side: but for their Spirits and Soules,

258This word (Rebellion) it had froze them vp,

259As Fish are in a Pond. But now the Bishop

260Turnes Insurrection to Religion,

261Suppos'd sincere, and holy in his Thoughts:

262He's follow'd both with Body, and with Minde:

263And doth enlarge his Rising, with the blood

264Of faire King Richard, scrap'd from Pomfret stones,

265Deriues from heauen, his Quarrell, and his Cause:

266Tels them, he doth bestride a bleeding Land,

267Gasping for life, vnder great Bullingbrooke,

268And more, and lesse, do flocke to follow him.

269North. I knew of this before. But to speake truth,

270This present greefe had wip'd it from my minde.

271Go in with me, and councell euery man

272The aptest way for safety, and reuenge:

273Get Posts, and Letters, and make Friends with speed,

274Neuer so few, nor neuer yet more need. Exeunt.

277Fal. Sirra, you giant, what saies the Doct. to my water?

278Pag. He said sir, the water it selfe was a good healthy

279water: but for the party that ow'd it, he might haue more

280diseases then he knew for.

281Fal. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at mee: the

282braine of this foolish compounded Clay-man, is not able

283to inuent any thing that tends to laughter, more then I

284inuent, or is inuented on me. I am not onely witty in my

285selfe, but the cause that wit is in other men. I doe heere

286walke before thee, like a Sow, that hath o'rewhelm'd all

287her Litter, but one. If the Prince put thee into my Ser-

288uice for any other reason, then to set mee off, why then I

289haue no iudgement. Thou horson Mandrake, thou art

290fitter to be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heeles. I

291was neuer mann'd with an Agot till now: but I will sette

292you neyther in Gold, nor Siluer, but in vilde apparell, and

293send you backe againe to your Master, for a Iewell. The

294Iuuenall (the Prince your Master) whose Chin is not yet

295fledg'd, I will sooner haue a beard grow in the Palme of

296my hand, then he shall get one on his cheeke: yet he will

297not sticke to say, his Face is a Face-Royall. Heauen may

298finish it when he will, it is not a haire amisse yet: he may

299keepe it still at a Face-Royall, for a Barber shall neuer

300earne six pence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if

301he had writ man euer since his Father was a Batchellour.

302He may keepe his owne Grace, but he is almost out of

303mine, I can assure him. What said M. Dombledon, about

304the Satten for my short Cloake, and Slops?

305Pag. He said sir, you should procure him better Assu-

306rance, then Bardolfe: he wold not take his Bond & yours,

307he lik'd not the Security.

308Fal. Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton, may his

309Tongue be hotter, a horson Achitophel; a Rascally-yea-

310forsooth-knaue, to beare a Gentleman in hand, and then

311stand vpon Security? The horson smooth-pates doe now

312weare nothing but high shoes, and bunches of Keyes at

313their girdles: and if a man is through with them in ho-

314nest Taking-vp, then they must stand vpon Securitie: I

315had as liefe they would put Rats-bane in my mouth, as

316offer to stoppe it with Security. I look'd hee should haue

317sent me two and twenty yards of Satten (as I am true

318Knight) and he sends me Security. Well, he may sleep in

319Security, for he hath the horne of Abundance: and the

320lightnesse of his Wife shines through it, and yet cannot

321he see, though he haue his owne Lanthorne to light him.

322Where's Bardolfe?

323Pag. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship

324a horse.

325Fal. I bought him in Paules, and hee'l buy mee a horse

326in Smithfield. If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes, I

327were Mann'd, Hors'd, and Wiu'd.

329Pag. Sir, heere comes the Nobleman that committed

330the Prince for striking him, about Bardolfe.

331Fal. Wait close, I will not see him.

332Ch. Iust. What's he that goes there?

333Ser. Falstaffe, and't please your Lordship.

334Iust. He that was in question for the Robbery?

335Ser. He my Lord, but he hath since done good seruice

336at Shrewsbury: and (as I heare) is now going with some

337Charge, to the Lord Iohn of Lancaster.

338Iust. What to Yorke? Call him backe againe.

339Ser. Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

340Fal. Boy, tell him, I am deafe.

341Pag. You must speake lowder, my Master is deafe.

342Iust. I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good.

343Go plucke him by the Elbow, I must speake with him.

344Ser. Sir Iohn.

345Fal. What? a yong knaue and beg? Is there not wars? Is

346there not imployment? Doth not the K. lack subiects? Do

347not the Rebels want Soldiers? Though it be a shame to be

348on any side but one, it is worse shame to begge, then to

349be on the worst side, were it worse then the name of Re-

350bellion can tell how to make it.

351Ser. You mistake me Sir.

352Fal. Why sir? Did I say you were an honest man? Set-

353ting my Knight-hood, and my Souldiership aside, I had

354lyed in my throat, if I had said so.

355Ser. I pray you (Sir) then set your Knighthood and

356your Souldier-ship aside, and giue mee leaue to tell you,

357you lye in your throat, if you say I am any other then an

358honest man.

359Fal. I giue thee leaue to tell me so? I lay a-side that

360which growes to me? If thou get'st any leaue of me, hang

361me: if thou tak'st leaue, thou wer't better be hang'd: you

362Hunt-counter, hence: Auant.

363Ser. Sir, my Lord would speake with you.

364Iust. Sir Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.

365Fal. My good Lord: giue your Lordship good time of

366the day. I am glad to see your Lordship abroad: I heard

367say your Lordship was sicke. I hope your Lordship goes

368abroad by aduise. Your Lordship (though not clean past

369your youth) hath yet some smack of age in you: some rel-

370lish of the saltnesse of Time, and I most humbly beseech

371your Lordship, to haue a reuerend care of your health.

372Iust. Sir Iohn, I sent you before your Expedition, to

373Shrewsburie.

374Fal. If it please your Lordship, I heare his Maiestie is

375return'd with some discomfort from Wales.

376Iust. I talke not of his Maiesty: you would not come

377when I sent for you?

378Fal. And I heare moreouer, his Highnesse is falne into

379this same whorson Apoplexie.

380Iust. Well, heauen mend him. I pray let me speak with (you.

381Fal. This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethar-

382gie, a sleeping of the blood, a horson Tingling.

383Iust. What tell you me of it? be it as it is.

384Fal. It hath it originall from much greefe; from study

385and perturbation of the braine. I haue read the cause of

386his effects in Galen. It is a kinde of deafenesse.

387Iust. I thinke you are falne into the disease: For you

388heare not what I say to you.

389Fal. Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't please

390you) it is the disease of not Listning, the malady of not

391Marking, that I am troubled withall.

392Iust. To punish you by the heeles, would amend the

393attention of your eares, & I care not if I be your Physitian

394Fal. I am as poore as Iob, my Lord; but not so Patient:

395your Lordship may minister the Potion of imprisonment

396to me, in respect of Pouertie: but how I should bee your

397Patient, to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make

398some dram of a scruple, or indeede, a scruple it selfe.

399Iust. I sent for you (when there were matters against

400you for your life) to come speake with me.

401Fal. As I was then aduised by my learned Councel, in

402the lawes of this Land-seruice, I did not come.

403Iust. Wel, the truth is (sir Iohn) you liue in great infamy

404Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cānnot liue in lesse.

405Iust. Your Meanes is very slender, and your wast great.

406Fal. I would it were otherwise: I would my Meanes

407were greater, and my waste slenderer.

408Iust. You haue misled the youthfull Prince.

409Fal. The yong Prince hath misled mee. I am the Fel-

410low with the great belly, and he my Dogge.

411Iust. Well, I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound: your

412daies seruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded ouer

413your Nights exploit on Gads-hill. You may thanke the

414vnquiet time, for your quiet o're-posting that Action.

415Fal. My Lord?

416Iust. But since all is wel, keep it so: wake not a sleeping (Wolfe.

417Fal. To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to smell a Fox.

418Iu. What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out

419Fal. A Wassell-Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did

420say of wax, my growth would approue the truth.

421Iust. There is not a white haire on your face, but shold

422haue his effect of grauity.

423Fal. His effect of grauy, grauy, grauy.

424Iust You follow the yong Prince vp and downe, like

425his euill Angell.

426Fal. Not so (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I

427hope, he that lookes vpon mee, will take mee without,

428weighing: and yet, in some respects I grant, I cannot go:

429I cannot tell. Vertue is of so little regard in these Costor-

430mongers, that true valor is turn'd Beare-heard. Pregnan-

431cie is made a Tapster, and hath his quicke wit wasted in

432giuing Recknings: all the other gifts appertinent to man

433(as the malice of this Age shapes them) are not woorth a

434Gooseberry. You that are old, consider not the capaci-

435ties of vs that are yong: you measure the heat of our Li-

436uers, with the bitternes of your gals: & we that are in the

437vaward of our youth, I must confesse, are wagges too.

438Iust. Do you set downe your name in the scrowle of

439youth, that are written downe old, with all the Charrac-

440ters of age? Haue you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yel-

441low cheeke? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an incresing

442belly? Is not your voice broken? your winde short? your

443wit single? and euery part about you blasted with Anti-

444quity? and wil you cal your selfe yong? Fy, fy, fy, sir Iohn.

445Fal. My Lord, I was borne with a white head, & som-

446thing a round belly. For my voice, I haue lost it with hal-

447lowing and singing of Anthemes. To approue my youth

448farther, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in iudge-

449ment and vnderstanding: and he that will caper with mee

450for a thousand Markes, let him lend me the mony, & haue

451at him. For the boxe of th'eare that the Prince gaue you,

452he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a sensi-

453ble Lord. I haue checkt him for it, and the yong Lion re-

454pents: Marry not in ashes and sacke-cloath, but in new

455Silke, and old Sacke.

456Iust. Wel, heauen send the Prince a better companion.

457Fal. Heauen send the Companion a better Prince: I

458cannot rid my hands of him.

459Iust. Well, the King hath seuer'd you and Prince Har-

460ry, I heare you are going with Lord Iohn of Lancaster, a-

461gainst the Archbishop, and the Earle of Northumberland

462Fal. Yes, I thanke your pretty sweet wit for it: but

463looke you pray, (all you that kisse my Ladie Peace, at

464home) that our Armies ioyn not in a hot day: for if I take

465but two shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweat ex-

466traordinarily: if it bee a hot day, if I brandish any thing

467but my Bottle, would I might neuer spit white againe:

468There is not a daungerous Action can peepe out his head,

469but I am thrust vpon it. Well, I cannot last euer.

470Iust. Well, be honest, be honest, and heauen blesse your

471Expedition.

472Fal. Will your Lordship lend mee a thousand pound,

473to furnish me forth?

474Iust. Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient

475to beare crosses. Fare you well. Commend mee to my

476Cosin Westmerland.

477Fal. If I do, fillop me with a three-man-Beetle. A man

478can no more separate Age and Couetousnesse, then he can

479part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the

g2 one,

480one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the De-

481grees preuent my curses. Boy?

482Page. Sir.

483Fal. What money is in my purse?

484Page. Seuen groats, and two pence.

485Fal. I can get no remedy against this Consumption of

486the purse. Borrowing onely lingers, and lingers it out,

487but the disease is incureable. Go beare this letter to my

488Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of

489Westmerland, and this to old Mistris Vrsula, whome I

490haue weekly sworne to marry, since I perceiu'd the first

491white haire on my chin. About it: you know where to

492finde me. A pox of this Gowt, or a Gowt of this Poxe:

493for the one or th'other playes the rogue with my great

494toe: It is no matter, if I do halt, I haue the warres for my

495colour, and my Pension shall seeme the more reasonable.

496A good wit will make vse of any thing: I will turne dis-

497eases to commodity. Exeunt

501Ar. Thus haue you heard our causes, & kno our Means:

502And my most noble Friends, I pray you all

503Speake plainly your opinions of our hopes,

504And first (Lord Marshall) what say you to it?

505Mow. I well allow the occasion of our Armes,

506But gladly would be better satisfied,

507How (in our Meanes) we should aduance our selues

508To looke with forhead bold and big enough

509Vpon the Power and puisance of the King.

510Hast. Our present Musters grow vpon the File

511To fiue and twenty thousand men of choice:

512And our Supplies, liue largely in the hope

513Of great Northumberland, whose bosome burnes

514With an incensed Fire of Iniuries.

515L. Bar. The question then (Lord Hastings) standeth thus

516Whether our present fiue and twenty thousand

517May hold-vp-head, without Northumberland:

518Hast. With him, we may.

519L. Bar. I marry, there's the point:

520But if without him we be thought to feeble,

521My iudgement is, we should not step too farre

522Till we had his Assistance by the hand.

523For in a Theame so bloody fac'd, as this,

524Coniecture, Expectation, and Surmise

525Of Aydes incertaine, should not be admitted.

526Arch. 'Tis very true Lord Bardolfe, for indeed

527It was yong Hotspurres case, at Shrewsbury.

528L. Bar. It was (my Lord) who lin'd himself with hope,

529Eating the ayre, on promise of Supply,

530Flatt'ring himselfe with Proiect of a power,

531Much smaller, then the smallest of his Thoughts,

532And so with great imagination

533(Proper to mad men) led his Powers to death,

534And (winking) leap'd into destruction.

535Hast. But (by your leaue) it neuer yet did hurt,

536To lay downe likely-hoods, and formes of hope.

537L. Bar. Yes, if this present quality of warre,

538Indeed the instant action: a cause on foot,

539Liues so in hope: As in an early Spring,

540We see th'appearing buds, which to proue fruite,

541Hope giues not so much warrant, as Dispaire

542That Frosts will bite them. When we meane to build,

543We first suruey the Plot, then draw the Modell,

544And when we see the figure of the house,

545Then must we rate the cost of the Erection,

546Which if we finde out-weighes Ability,

547What do we then, but draw a-new the Modell

548In fewer offices? Or at least, desist

549To builde at all? Much more, in this great worke,

550(Which is (almost) to plucke a Kingdome downe,

551And set another vp) should we suruey

552The plot of Situation, and the Modell;

553Consent vpon a sure Foundation:

554Question Surueyors, know our owne estate,

555How able such a Worke to vndergo,

556To weigh against his Opposite? Or else,

557We fortifie in Paper, and in Figures,

558Vsing the Names of men, instead of men:

559Like one, that drawes the Modell of a house

560Beyond his power to builde it; who (halfe through)

561Giues o're, and leaues his part-created Cost

562A naked subiect to the Weeping Clouds,

563And waste, for churlish Winters tyranny.

564Hast. Grant that our hopes (yet likely of faire byrth)

565Should be still-borne: and that we now possest

566The vtmost man of expectation:

567I thinke we are a Body strong enough

568(Euen as we are) to equall with the King.

569L. Bar. What is the King but fiue & twenty thousand?

570Hast. To vs no more: nay not so much Lord Bardolf.

571For his diuisions (as the Times do braul)

572Are in three Heads: one Power against the French,

573And one against Glendower: Perforce a third

574Must take vp vs: So is the vnfirme King

575In three diuided: and his Coffers sound

576With hollow Pouerty, and Emptinesse.

577Ar. That he should draw his seuerall strengths togither

578And come against vs in full puissance

579Need not be dreaded.

580Hast. If he should do so,

581He leaues his backe vnarm'd, the French, and Welch

582Baying him at the heeles: neuer feare that.

583L. Bar. Who is it like should lead his Forces hither?

584Hast. The Duke of Lancaster, and Westmerland:

585Against the Welsh himselfe, and Harrie Monmouth.

586But who is substituted 'gainst the French,

587I haue no certaine notice.

588Arch. Let vs on:

589And publish the occasion of our Armes.

590The Common-wealth is sicke of their owne Choice,

591Their ouer-greedy loue hath surfetted:

592An habitation giddy, and vnsure

593Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.

594O thou fond Many, with what loud applause

595Did'st thou beate heauen with blessing Bullingbrooke,

596Before he was, what thou would'st haue him be?

597And being now trimm'd in thine owne desires,

598Thou (beastly Feeder) art so full of him,

599That thou prouok'st thy selfe to cast him vp.

600So, so, (thou common Dogge) did'st thou disgorge

601Thy glutton-bosome of the Royall Richard,

602And now thou would'st eate thy dead vomit vp,

603And howl'st to finde it. What trust is in these Times?

604They, that when Richard liu'd, would haue him dye,

605Are now become enamour'd on his graue.

606Thou that threw'st dust vpon his goodly head

607When through proud London he came sighing on,

608After th'admired heeles of Bullingbrooke,

609Cri'st now, O Earth, yeeld vs that King agine,

610And take thou this (O thoughts of men accurs'd)

612Mow. Shall we go draw our numbers, and set on?

613Hast. We are Times subiects, and Time bids, be gon.

616Hostesse. Mr. Fang, haue you entred the Action?

617Fang. It is enter'd.

618Hostesse. Wher's your Yeoman? Is it a lusty yeoman?

619Will he stand to it?

620Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare?

621Hostesse. I, I, good M. Snare..

622Snare. Heere, heere.

623Fang. Snare, we must Arrest Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

624Host. I good M. Snare, I haue enter'd him, and all.

625Sn. It may chance cost some of vs our liues: he wil stab

626Hostesse. Alas the day: take heed of him: he stabd me

627in mine owne house, and that most beastly: he cares not

628what mischeefe he doth, if his weapon be out. Hee will

629foyne like any diuell, he will spare neither man, woman,

630nor childe.

631Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

632Hostesse. No, nor I neither: Ile be at your elbow.

633Fang. If I but fist him once: if he come but within my

634Vice.

635Host. I am vndone with his going: I warrant he is an

636infinitiue thing vpon my score. Good M. Fang hold him

637sure: good M. Snare let him not scape, he comes continu-

638antly to Py-Corner (sauing your manhoods) to buy a sad-

639dle, and hee is indited to dinner to the Lubbars head in

640Lombardstreet, to M. Smoothes the Silkman. I pra' ye, since

641my Exion is enter'd, and my Case so openly known to the

642world, let him be brought in to his answer: A 100. Marke

643is a long one, for a poore lone woman to beare: & I haue

644borne, and borne, and borne, and haue bin fub'd off, and

645fub'd-off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to

646be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing, vnles

647a woman should be made an Asse and a Beast, to beare e-

648uery Knaues wrong. Enter Falstaffe and Bardolfe.

649Yonder he comes, and that arrant Malmesey-Nose Bar-

650dolfe with him. Do your Offices, do your offices: M. Fang,

651& M. Snare, do me, do me, do me your Offices.

652Fal. How now? whose Mare's dead? what's the matter?

653Fang. Sir Iohn, I arrest you, at the suit of Mist. Quickly.

654Falst. Away Varlets, draw Bardolfe: Cut me off the

655Villaines head: throw the Queane in the Channel.

656Host. Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee there.

657Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue. Murder, mur-

658der, O thou Hony-suckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods of-

659ficers, and the Kings? O thou hony-seed Rogue, thou art

660a honyseed, a Man-queller, and a woman-queller.

661Falst. Keep them off, Bardolfe. Fang. A rescu, a rescu.

662Host. Good people bring a rescu. Thou wilt not? thou

663wilt not? Do, do thou Rogue: Do thou Hempseed.

664Page. Away you Scullion, you Rampallian, you Fustil-

665lirian: Ile tucke your Catastrophe. Enter. Ch. Iustice.

666Iust. What's the matter? Keepe the Peace here, hoa.

667Host. Good my Lord be good to mee. I beseech you

668stand to me.

669Ch. Iust. How now sir Iohn? What are you brauling here?

670Doth this become your place, your time, and businesse?

671You should haue bene well on your way to Yorke.

672Stand from him Fellow; wherefore hang'st vpon him?

673Host. Oh my most worshipfull Lord, and't please your

674Grace, I am a poore widdow of Eastcheap, and he is arre-

675sted at my suit. Ch. Iust. For what summe?

676Host. It is more then for some (my Lord) it is for all: all

677I haue, he hath eaten me out of house and home; hee hath

678put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I will

679haue some of it out againe, or I will ride thee o'Nights,

680like the Mare.

681Falst. I thinke I am as like to ride the Mare, if I haue

682any vantage of ground, to get vp.

683Ch. Iust. How comes this, Sir Iohn? Fy, what a man of

684good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?

685Are you not asham'd to inforce a poore Widdowe to so

686rough a course, to come by her owne?

687Falst. What is the grosse summe that I owe thee?

688Host. Marry (if thou wer't an honest man) thy selfe, &

689the mony too. Thou didst sweare to mee vpon a parcell

690gilt Goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber at the round

691table, by a sea-cole fire, on Wednesday in Whitson week,

692when the Prince broke thy head for lik'ning him to a sin-

693ging man of Windsor; Thou didst sweare to me then (as I

694was washing thy wound) to marry me, and make mee my

695Lady thy wife. Canst y^u deny it? Did not goodwife Keech

696the Butchers wife come in then, and cal me gossip Quick-

697ly? comming in to borrow a messe of Vinegar: telling vs,

698she had a good dish of Prawnes: whereby y^u didst desire to

699eat some: whereby I told thee they were ill for a greene

700wound? And didst not thou (when she was gone downe

701staires) desire me to be no more familiar with such poore

702people, saying, that ere long they should call me Madam?

703And did'st y^u not kisse me, and bid mee fetch thee 30.s? I

704put thee now to thy Book-oath, deny it if thou canst?

705Fal. My Lord, this is a poore mad soule: and she sayes

706vp & downe the town, that her eldest son is like you. She

707hath bin in good case, & the truth is, pouerty hath distra-

708cted her: but for these foolish Officers, I beseech you, I

709may haue redresse against them.

710Iust. Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, I am well acquainted with your

711maner of wrenching the true cause, the false way. It is not

712a confident brow, nor the throng of wordes, that come

713with such (more then impudent) sawcines from you, can

714thrust me from a leuell consideration, I know you ha' pra-

715ctis'd vpon the easie-yeelding spirit of this woman.

716Host. Yes in troth my Lord.

717Iust. Prethee peace: pay her the debt you owe her, and

718vnpay the villany you haue done her: the one you may do

719with sterling mony, & the other with currant repentance.

720Fal. My Lord, I will not vndergo this sneape without

721reply. You call honorable Boldnes, impudent Sawcinesse:

722If a man wil curt'sie, and say nothing, he is vertuous: No,

723my Lord (your humble duty remēmbred) I will not be your

724sutor. I say to you, I desire deliu'rance from these Officers

725being vpon hasty employment in the Kings Affaires.

726Iust. You speake, as hauing power to do wrong: But

727answer in the effect of your Reputation, and satisfie the

728poore woman.

729Falst. Come hither Hostesse. Enter M. Gower

730Ch. Iust. Now Master Gower; What newes?

731Gow. The King (my Lord) and Henrie Prince of Wales

732Are neere at hand: The rest the Paper telles.

733Falst. As I am a Gentleman.

734Host. Nay, you said so before.

735Fal. As I am a Gentleman. Come, no more words of it

736Host. By this Heauenly ground I tread on, I must be

737faine to pawne both my Plate, and the Tapistry of my dy-

738ning Chambers.

g3 Falst.

739Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the onely drinking: and for

740thy walles a pretty slight Drollery, or the Storie of the

741Prodigall, or the Germane hunting in Waterworke, is

742worth a thousand of these Bed-hangings, and these Fly-

743bitten Tapistries. Let it be tenne pound (if thou canst.)

744Come, if it were not for thy humors, there is not a better

745Wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw thy

746Action: Come, thou must not bee in this humour with

747me, come, I know thou was't set on to this.

748Host. Prethee (Sir Iohn) let it be but twenty Nobles,

749I loath to pawne my Plate, in good earnest la.

750Fal. Let it alone, Ile make other shift: you'l be a fool

751still.

752Host. Well, you shall haue it although I pawne my

753Gowne. I hope you'l come to Supper: You'l pay me al-

754together?

755Fal. Will I liue? Go with her, with her: hooke-on,

756hooke-on.

757Host. Will you haue Doll Teare-sheet meet you at sup-

758per?

759Fal. No more words. Let's haue her.

760Ch. Iust. I haue heard bitter newes.

761Fal. What's the newes (my good Lord?)

762Ch. Iu. Where lay the King last night?

763Mes. At Basingstoke my Lord.

764Fal. I hope (my Lord) all's well. What is the newes

765my Lord?

766Ch. Iust. Come all his Forces backe?

767Mes. No: Fifteene hundred Foot, fiue hundred Horse

768Are march'd vp to my Lord of Lancaster,

769Against Northumberland, and the Archbishop.

770Fal. Comes the King backe from Wales, my noble L?

771Ch. Iust. You shall haue Letters of me presently.

772Come, go along with me, good M. Gowre.

773Fal. My Lord.

774Ch. Iust. What's the matter?

775Fal. Master Gowre, shall I entreate you with mee to

776dinner?

777Gow. I must waite vpon my good Lord heere.

778I thanke you, good Sir Iohn.

779Ch. Iust. Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long being you

780are to take Souldiers vp, in Countries as you go.

781Fal. Will you sup with me, Master Gowre?

782Ch. Iust. What foolish Master taught you these man-

783ners, Sir Iohn?

784Fal. Master Gower, if they become mee not, hee was a

785Foole that taught them mee. This is the right Fencing

786grace (my Lord) tap for tap, and so part faire.

787Ch. Iust. Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great

788Foole. Exeunt

792Prin. Trust me, I am exceeding weary.

793Poin. Is it come to that? I had thought wearines durst

794not haue attach'd one of so high blood.

795Prin. It doth me: though it discolours the complexion

796of my Greatnesse to acknowledge it. Doth it not shew

797vildely in me, to desire small Beere?

798Poin. Why, a Prince should not be so loosely studied,

799as to remember so weake a Composition.

800Prince. Belike then, my Appetite was not Princely

801got: for (in troth) I do now remember the poore Crea-

802ture, Small Beere. But indeede these humble considera-

803tions make me out of loue with my Greatnesse. What a

804disgrace is it to me, to remember thy name? Or to know

805thy face to morrow? Or to take note how many paire of

806Silk stockings y^u hast? (Viz. these, and those that were thy

807peach-colour'd ones:) Or to beare the Inuentorie of thy

808shirts, as one for superfluity, and one other, for vse. But

809that the Tennis-Court-keeper knowes better then I, for

810it is a low ebbe of Linnen with thee, when thou kept'st

811not Racket there, as thou hast not done a great while, be-

812cause the rest of thy Low Countries, haue made a shift to

813eate vp thy Holland.

814Poin. How ill it followes, after you haue labour'd so

815hard, you should talke so idlely? Tell me how many good

816yong Princes would do so, their Fathers lying so sicke, as

817yours is?

818Prin. Shall I tell thee one thing, Pointz?

819Poin. Yes: and let it be an excellent good thing.

820Prin. It shall serue among wittes of no higher breed-

821ing then thine.

822Poin. Go to: I stand the push of your one thing, that

823you'l tell.

824Prin. Why, I tell thee, it is not meet, that I should be

825sad now my Father is sicke: albeit I could tell to thee (as

826to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend)

827I could be sad, and sad indeed too.

828Poin. Very hardly, vpon such a subiect.

829Prin. Thou think'st me as farre in the Diuels Booke, as

830thou, and Falstaffe, for obduracie and persistencie. Let the

831end try the man. But I tell thee, my hart bleeds inward-

832ly, that my Father is so sicke: and keeping such vild com-

833pany as thou art, hath in reason taken from me, all osten-

834tation of sorrow.

835Poin. The reason?

836Prin. What would'st thou think of me, if I shold weep?

837Poin. I would thinke thee a most Princely hypocrite.

838Prin. It would be euery mans thought: and thou art

839a blessed Fellow, to thinke as euery man thinkes: neuer a

840mans thought in the world, keepes the Rode-way better

841then thine: euery man would thinke me an Hypocrite in-

842deede. And what accites your most worshipful thought

843to thinke so?

844Poin. Why, because you haue beene so lewde, and so

845much ingraffed to Falstaffe.

846Prin. And to thee.

847Pointz. Nay, I am well spoken of, I can heare it with

848mine owne eares: the worst that they can say of me is, that

849I am a second Brother, and that I am a proper Fellowe of

850my hands: and those two things I confesse I canot helpe.

851Looke, looke, here comes Bardolfe.

852Prince. And the Boy that I gaue Falstaffe, he had him

853from me Christian, and see if the fat villain haue not trans

854form'd him Ape.

856Bar. Saue your Grace.

857Prin. And yours, most Noble Bardolfe.

858Poin. Come you pernitious Asse, you bashfull Foole,

859must you be blushing? Wherefore blush you now? what

860a Maidenly man at Armes are you become? Is it such a

861matter to get a Pottle-pots Maiden-head?

862Page. He call'd me euen now (my Lord) through a red

863Lattice, and I could discerne no part of his face from the

864window: at last I spy'd his eyes, and me thought he had

865made two holes in the Ale-wiues new Petticoat, & pee-

866ped through.

867Prin. Hath not the boy profited?

868Bar. Away, you horson vpright Rabbet, away.

869Page. Away, you rascally Altheas dreame, away.

870Prin. Instruct vs Boy: what dreame, Boy?

871Page. Marry (my Lord) Althea dream'd, she was de-

872liuer'd of a Firebrand, and therefore I call him hir dream.

873Prince. A Crownes-worth of good Interpretation:

874There it is, Boy.

875Poin. O that this good Blossome could bee kept from

876Cankers: Well, there is six pence to preserue thee.

877Bard. If you do not make him be hang'd among you,

878the gallowes shall be wrong'd.

879Prince. And how doth thy Master, Bardolph?

880Bar. Well, my good Lord: he heard of your Graces

881comming to Towne. There's a Letter for you.

882Poin. Deliuer'd with good respect: And how doth the

883Martlemas, your Master?

884Bard. In bodily health Sir.

885Poin. Marry, the immortall part needes a Physitian:

886but that moues not him: though that bee sicke, it dyes

887not.

888Prince. I do allow this Wen to bee as familiar with

889me, as my dogge: and he holds his place, for looke you

890he writes.

891Poin. Letter.

: (Euery man must

892know that, as oft as hee hath occasion to name himselfe:)

893Euen like those that are kinne to the King, for they neuer

894pricke their finger, but they say, there is som of the kings

895blood spilt. How comes that (sayes he) that takes vpon

896him not to conceiue? the answer is as ready as a borrow-

897ed cap: I am the Kings poore Cosin, Sir.

898Prince. Nay, they will be kin to vs, but they wil fetch

899it from Iaphet. But to the Letter: ---

902Poin. Why this is a Certificate.

903Prin. Peace.

905Poin. Sure he meanes breuity in breath: short-winded.

914My Lord, I will steepe this Letter in Sack, and make him

915eate it.

916Prin. That's to make him eate twenty of his Words.

917But do you vse me thus Ned? Must I marry your Sister?

918Poin. May the Wench haue no worse Fortune. But I

919neuer said so.

920Prin. Well, thus we play the Fooles with the time, &

921the spirits of the wise, sit in the clouds, and mocke vs: Is

922your Master heere in London?

923Bard. Yes my Lord.

924Prin. Where suppes he? Doth the old Bore, feede in

925the old Franke?

926Bard. At the old place my Lord, in East-cheape.

927Prin. What Company?

928Page. Ephesians my Lord, of the old Church.

929Prin. Sup any women with him?

930Page. None my Lord, but old Mistris Quickly, and M.

931Doll Teare-sheet.

932Prin. What Pagan may that be?

933Page. A proper Gentlewoman, Sir, and a Kinswoman

934of my Masters.

935Prin. Euen such Kin, as the Parish Heyfors are to the

936Towne-Bull?

937Shall we steale vpon them (Ned) at Supper?

938Poin. I am your shadow, my Lord, Ile follow you.

939Prin. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to your

940Master that I am yet in Towne.

941There's for your silence.

942Bar. I haue no tongue, sir.

943Page. And for mine Sir, I will gouerne it.

944Prin. Fare ye well: go.

945This Doll Teare-sheet should be some Rode.

946Poin. I warrant you, as common as the way betweene

947S. Albans, and London.

948Prin. How might we see Falstaffe bestow himselfe to

949night, in his true colours, and not our selues be seene?

950Poin. Put on two Leather Ierkins, and Aprons, and

951waite vpon him at his Table, like Drawers.

952Prin. From a God, to a Bull? A heauie declension: It

953was Ioues case. From a Prince, to a Prentice, a low trans-

954formation, that shall be mine: for in euery thing, the pur-

955pose must weigh with the folly. Follow me Ned. Exeunt

959North. I prethee louing Wife, and gentle Daughter,

960Giue an euen way vnto my rough Affaires:

961Put not you on the visage of the Times,

962And be like them to Percie, troublesome.

963Wife. I haue giuen ouer, I will speak no more,

964Do what you will: your Wisedome, be your guide.

965North. Alas (sweet Wife) my Honor is at pawne,

966And but my going, nothing can redeeme it.

967La. Oh yet, for heauens sake, go not to these Warrs;

968The Time was (Father) when you broke your word,

969When you were more endeer'd to it, then now,

970When your owne Percy, when my heart-deere Harry,

971Threw many a Northward looke, to see his Father

972Bring vp his Powres: but he did long in vaine.

973Who then perswaded you to stay at home?

974There were two Honors lost; Yours, and your Sonnes.

975For Yours, may heauenly glory brighten it:

976For His, it stucke vpon him, as the Sunne

977In the gray vault of Heauen: and by his Light

978Did all the Cheualrie of England moue

979To do braue Acts. He was (indeed) the Glasse

980Wherein the Noble-Youth did dresse themselues.

981He had no Legges, that practic'd not his Gate:

982And speaking thicke (which Nature made his blemish)

983Became the Accents of the Valiant.

984For those that could speake low, and tardily,

985Would turne their owne Perfection, to Abuse,

986To seeme like him. So that in Speech, in Gate,

987In Diet, in Affections of delight,

988In Militarie Rules, Humors of Blood,

989He was the Marke, and Glasse, Coppy, and Booke,

990That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous! him,

991O Miracle of Men! Him did you leaue

992(Second to none) vn-seconded by you,

993To looke vpon the hideous God of Warre,

994In dis-aduantage, to abide a field,

995Where nothing but the sound of Hotspurs Name

996Did seeme defensible: so you left him.

997Neuer, O neuer doe his Ghost the wrong,

998To hold your Honor more precise and nice

999With others, then with him. Let them alone:

1000The Marshall and the Arch-bishop are strong.

1001Had my sweet Harry had but halfe their Numbers,

1002To day might I (hanging on Hotspurs Necke)

1003Haue talk'd of Monmouth's Graue.

1004North. Beshrew your heart,

1005(Faire Daughter) you doe draw my Spirits from me,

1006With new lamenting ancient Ouer-sights.

1007But I must goe, and meet with Danger there,

1008Or it will seeke me in another place,

1009And finde me worse prouided.

1010Wife. O flye to Scotland,

1011Till that the Nobles, and the armed Commons,

1012Haue of their Puissance made a little taste.

1013Lady. If they get ground, and vantage of the King,

1014Then ioyne you with them, like a Ribbe of Steele,

1015To make Strength stronger. But, for all our loues,

1016First let them trye themselues. So did your Sonne,

1017He was so suffer'd; so came I a Widow:

1018And neuer shall haue length of Life enough,

1019To raine vpon Remembrance with mine Eyes,

1020That it may grow, and sprowt, as high as Heauen,

1021For Recordation to my Noble Husband.

1022North. Come, come, go in with me: 'tis with my Minde

1023As with the Tyde, swell'd vp vnto his height,

1024That makes a still-stand, running neyther way.

1025Faine would I goe to meet the Arch-bishop,

1026But many thousand Reasons hold me backe.

1027I will resolue for Scotland: there am I,

1028Till Time and Vantage craue my company. Exeunt.

10311. Drawer. What hast thou brought there? Apple-Iohns?

1032Thou know'st Sir Iohn cannot endure an Apple-

1033Iohn.

10342. Draw. Thou say'st true: the Prince once set a Dish

1035of Apple-Iohns before him, and told him there were fiue

1036more Sir Iohns: and, putting off his Hat, said, I will now

1037take my leaue of these sixe drie, round, old-wither'd

1038Knights. It anger'd him to the heart: but hee hath for-

1039got that.

10401. Draw. Why then couer, and set them downe: and

1041see if thou canst finde out Sneakes Noyse; Mistris Teare-

1042sheet would faine haue some Musique.

10432. Draw. Sirrha, heere will be the Prince, and Master

1044Points, anon: and they will put on two of our Ierkins,

1045and Aprons, and Sir Iohn must not know of it: Bardolph

1046hath brought word.

10471. Draw. Then here will be old Vtis: it will be an ex-

1048cellent stratagem.

10492. Draw. Ile see if I can finde out Sneake. Exit.

1051Host. Sweet-heart, me thinkes now you are in an ex-

1052cellent good temperalitie: your Pulsidge beates as ex-

1053traordinarily, as heart would desire; and your Colour

1054(I warrant you) is as red as any Rose: But you haue

1055drunke too much Canaries, and that's a maruellous sear-

1056ching Wine; and it perfumes the blood, ere wee can say

1057what's this. How doe you now?

1058Dol. Better then I was: Hem.

1059Host. Why that was well said: A good heart's worth

1060Gold. Looke, here comes Sir Iohn.

-- (emptie the Iordan)

: How now Mistris Dol?

1064Host. Sick of a Calme: yea, good-sooth.

1065Falst. So is all her Sect: if they be once in a Calme,

1066they are sick.

1067Dol. You muddie Rascall, is that all the comfort you

1068giue me?

1069Falst. You make fat Rascalls, Mistris Dol.

1070Dol. I make them? Gluttonie and Diseases make

1071them, I make them not.

1072Falst. If the Cooke make the Gluttonie, you helpe to

1073make the Diseases (Dol) we catch of you (Dol) we catch

1074of you: Grant that, my poore Vertue, grant that.

1075Dol. I marry, our Chaynes, and our Iewels.

1076Falst. Your Brooches, Pearles, and Owches: For to

1077serue brauely, is to come halting off: you know, to come

1078off the Breach, with his Pike bent brauely, and to Surge-

1079rie brauely; to venture vpon the charg'd-Chambers

1080brauely.

1081Host. Why this is the olde fashion: you two neuer

1082meete, but you fall to some discord: you are both (in

1083good troth) as Rheumatike as two drie Tostes, you can-

1084not one beare with anothers Confirmities. What the

1085good-yere? One must beare, and that must bee you:

1086you are the weaker Vessell; as they say, the emptier

1087Vessell.

1088Dol. Can a weake emptie Vessell beare such a huge

1089full Hogs-head? There's a whole Marchants Venture

1090of Burdeux-Stuffe in him: you haue not seene a Hulke

1091better stufft in the Hold. Come, Ile be friends with thee

1092Iacke: Thou art going to the Warres, and whether I

1093shall euer see thee againe, or no, there is no body

1094cares.

1096Drawer. Sir, Ancient Pistoll is below, and would

1097speake with you.

1098Dol. Hang him, swaggering Rascall, let him not

1099come hither: it is the foule-mouth'dst Rogue in Eng-

1100land.

1101Host. If hee swagger, let him not come here: I must

1102liue amongst my Neighbors, Ile no Swaggerers: I am

1103in good name, and fame, with the very best: shut the

1104doore, there comes no Swaggerers heere: I haue not

1105liu'd all this while, to haue swaggering now: shut the

1106doore, I pray you.

1107Falst. Do'st thou heare, Hostesse?

1108Host. 'Pray you pacifie your selfe (Sir Iohn) there comes

1109no Swaggerers heere.

s Falst.Do'st

1110 Falst. Do'st thou heare? it is mine Ancient.

1111Host. Tilly-fally (Sir Iohn) neuer tell me, your ancient

1112Swaggerer comes not in my doores. I was before Master

1113Tisick the Deputie, the other day: and as hee said to me,

1114it was no longer agoe then Wednesday last: Neighbour

1115Quickly (sayes hee;) Master Dombe, our Minister, was by

1116then: Neighbour Quickly (sayes hee) receiue those that

1117are Ciuill; for (sayth hee) you are in an ill Name: now

1118hee said so, I can tell whereupon: for (sayes hee) you are

1119an honest Woman, and well thought on; therefore take

1120heede what Guests you receiue: Receiue (sayes hee) no

1121swaggering Companions. There comes none heere. You

1122would blesse you to heare what hee said. No, Ile no

1123Swaggerers.

1124Falst. Hee's no Swaggerer (Hostesse:) a tame Cheater,

1125hee: you may stroake him as gently, as a Puppie Grey-

1126hound: hee will not swagger with a Barbarie Henne, if

1127her feathers turne backe in any shew of resistance. Call

1128him vp (Drawer.)

1129Host. Cheater, call you him? I will barre no honest

1130man my house, nor no Cheater: but I doe not loue swag-

1131gering; I am the worse when one sayes, swagger: Feele

1132Masters, how I shake: looke you, I warrant you.

1133Dol. So you doe, Hostesse.

1134Host. Doe I? yea, in very truth doe I, if it were an As-

1135pen Leafe: I cannot abide Swaggerers.

1137Pist. 'Saue you, Sir Iohn.

1138Falst. Welcome Ancient Pistol. Here (Pistol) I charge

1139you with a Cup of Sacke: doe you discharge vpon mine

1140Hostesse.

1141Pist. I will discharge vpon her (Sir Iohn) with two

1142Bullets.

1143Falst. She is Pistoll-proofe (Sir) you shall hardly of-

1144fend her.

1145Host. Come, Ile drinke no Proofes, nor no Bullets: I

1146will drinke no more then will doe me good, for no mans

1147pleasure, I.

1148Pist. Then to you (Mistris Dorothie) I will charge

1149you.

1150Dol. Charge me? I scorne you (scuruie Companion)

1151what? you poore, base, rascally, cheating, lacke-Linnen-

1152Mate: away you mouldie Rogue, away; I am meat for

1153your Master.

1154Pist. I know you, Mistris Dorothie.

1155Dol. Away you Cut-purse Rascall, you filthy Bung,

1156away: By this Wine, Ile thrust my Knife in your mouldie

1157Chappes, if you play the sawcie Cuttle with me. Away

1158you Bottle-Ale Rascall, you Basket-hilt stale Iugler, you.

1159Since when, I pray you, Sir? what, with two Points on

1160your shoulder? much.

1161Pist. I will murther your Ruffe, for this.

1162Host. No, good Captaine Pistol: not heere, sweete

1163Captaine.

1164Dol. Captaine? thou abhominable damn'd Cheater,

1165art thou not asham'd to be call'd Captaine? If Captaines

1166were of my minde, they would trunchion you out, for ta-

1167king their Names vpon you, before you haue earn'd them.

1168You a Captaine? you slaue, for what? for tearing a poore

1169Whores Ruffe in a Bawdy-house? Hee a Captaine? hang

1170him Rogue, hee liues vpon mouldie stew'd-Pruines, and

1171dry'de Cakes. A Captaine? These Villaines will make

1172the word Captaine odious: Therefore Captaines had

1173neede looke to it.

1174Bard. 'Pray thee goe downe, good Ancient.

1175Falst. Hearke thee hither, Mistris Dol.

1176Pist. Not I: I tell thee what, Corporall Bardolph, I

1177could teare her: Ile be reueng'd on her.

1178Page. 'Pray thee goe downe.

1179Pist. Ile see her damn'd first: to Pluto's damn'd Lake,

1180to the Infernall Deepe, where Erebus and Tortures vilde

1181also. Hold Hooke and Line, say I: Downe: downe

1182Dogges, downe Fates: haue wee not Hiren here?

1183Host. Good Captaine Peesel be quiet, it is very late:

1184I beseeke you now, aggrauate your Choler.

1185Pist. These be good Humors indeede. Shall Pack-

1186Horses, and hollow-pamper'd Iades of Asia, which can-

1187not goe but thirtie miles a day, compare with Caesar, and

1188with Caniballs, and Troian Greekes? nay, rather damne

1189them with King Cerberus, and let the Welkin roare: shall

1190wee fall foule for Toyes?

1191Host. By my troth Captaine, these are very bitter

1192words.

1193Bard. Be gone, good Ancient: this will grow to a

1194Brawle anon.

1195Pist. Die men, like Dogges; giue Crownes like Pinnes:

1196Haue we not Hiren here?

1197Host. On my word (Captaine) there's none such here.

1198What the good-yere, doe you thinke I would denye her?

1199I pray be quiet.

1200Pist. Then feed, and be fat (my faire Calipolis.) Come,

1201giue me some Sack, Si fortune me tormente, sperato me con-

1202tente. Feare wee broad-sides? No, let the Fiend giue fire:

1203Giue me some Sack: and Sweet-heart lye thou there:

1204Come wee to full Points here, and are et cetera's no-

1205thing?

1206Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet.

1207Pist. Sweet Knight, I kisse thy Neaffe: what? wee haue

1208seene the seuen Starres.

1209Dol. Thrust him downe stayres, I cannot endure such

1210a Fustian Rascall.

1211Pist. Thrust him downe stayres? know we not Gallo-

1212way Nagges?

1213Fal. Quoit him downe (Bardolph) like a shoue-groat

1214shilling: nay, if hee doe nothing but speake nothing, hee

1215shall be nothing here.

1216Bard. Come, get you downe stayres.

1217Pist. What? shall wee haue Incision? shall wee em-

1218brew? then Death rocke me asleepe, abridge my dolefull

1219dayes: why then let grieuous, gastly, gaping Wounds,

1220vntwin'd the Sisters three: Come Atropos, I say.

1221Host. Here's good stuffe toward.

1222Fal. Giue me my Rapier, Boy.

1223Dol. I prethee Iack, I prethee doe not draw.

1224Fal. Get you downe stayres.

1225Host. Here's a goodly tumult: Ile forsweare keeping

1226house, before Ile be in these tirrits, and frights. So: Mur-

1227ther I warrant now. Alas, alas, put vp your naked Wea-

1228pons, put vp your naked Weapons.

1229Dol. I prethee Iack be quiet, the Rascall is gone: ah,

1230you whorson little valiant Villaine, you.

1231Host. Are you not hurt i'th'Groyne? me thought hee

1232made a shrewd Thrust at your Belly.

1233Fal. Haue you turn'd him out of doores?

1234Bard. Yes Sir: the Rascall's drunke: you haue hurt

1235him (Sir) in the shoulder.

1236Fal. A Rascall to braue me.

1237Dol. Ah, you sweet little Rogue, you: alas, poore Ape,

1238how thou sweat'st? Come, let me wipe thy Face: Come

1239on, you whorson Chops: Ah Rogue, I loue thee: Thou

1240art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth fiue of Agamem-

1241non, and tenne times better then the nine Worthies: ah

1242Villaine.

1243Fal. A rascally Slaue, I will tosse the Rogue in a Blan-

1244ket.

1245Dol. Doe, if thou dar'st for thy heart: if thou doo'st,

1246Ile canuas thee betweene a paire of Sheetes.

1248Page. The Musique is come, Sir.

1249Fal. Let them play: play Sirs. Sit on my Knee, Dol.

1250A Rascall, bragging Slaue: the Rogue fled from me like

1251Quick-siluer.

1252Dol. And thou followd'st him like a Church: thou

1253whorson little tydie Bartholmew Bore-pigge, when wilt

1254thou leaue fighting on dayes, and foyning on nights, and

1255begin to patch vp thine old Body for Heauen?

1257Fal. Peace (good Dol) doe not speake like a Deaths-

1258head: doe not bid me remember mine end.

1259Dol. Sirrha, what humor is the Prince of?

1260Fal. A good shallow young fellow: hee would haue

1261made a good Pantler, hee would haue chipp'd Bread

1262well.

1263Dol. They say Poines hath a good Wit.

1264Fal. Hee a good Wit? hang him Baboone, his Wit is

1265as thicke as Tewksburie Mustard: there is no more con-

1266ceit in him, then is in a Mallet.

1267Dol. Why doth the Prince loue him so then?

1268Fal. Because their Legges are both of a bignesse: and

1269hee playes at Quoits well, and eates Conger and Fennell,

1270and drinkes off Candles ends for Flap-dragons, and rides

1271the wilde-Mare with the Boyes, and iumpes vpon Ioyn'd-

1272stooles, and sweares with a good grace, and weares his

1273Boot very smooth, like vnto the Signe of the Legge; and

1274breedes no bate with telling of discreete stories: and such

1275other Gamboll Faculties hee hath, that shew a weake

1276Minde, and an able Body, for the which the Prince admits

1277him; for the Prince himselfe is such another: the

1278weight of an hayre will turne the Scales betweene their

1279Haber-de-pois.

1280Prince. Would not this Naue of a Wheele haue his

1281Eares cut off?

1282Poin. Let vs beat him before his Whore.

1283Prince. Looke, if the wither'd Elder hath not his Poll

1284claw'd like a Parrot.

1285Poin. Is it not strange, that Desire should so many

1286yeeres out-liue performance?

1287Fal. Kisse me Dol.

1288Prince. Saturne and Venus this yeere in Coniunction?

1289What sayes the Almanack to that?

1290Poin. And looke whether the fierie Trigon, his Man,

1291be not lisping to his Masters old Tables, his Note-Booke,

1292his Councell-keeper?

1293Fal. Thou do'st giue me flatt'ring Busses.

1294Dol. Nay truely, I kisse thee with a most constant

1295heart.

1296Fal. I am olde, I am olde.

1297Dol. I loue thee better, then I loue ere a scuruie young

1298Boy of them all.

1299Fal. What Stuffe wilt thou haue a Kirtle of? I shall

1300receiue Money on Thursday: thou shalt haue a Cappe

1301to morrow. A merrie Song, come: it growes late,

1302wee will to Bed. Thou wilt forget me, when I am

1303gone.

1304Dol. Thou wilt set me a weeping, if thou say'st so:

1305proue that euer I dresse my selfe handsome, till thy re-

1306turne: well, hearken the end.

1307Fal. Some Sack, Francis.

1308Prin. Poin. Anon, anon, Sir.

1309Fal. Ha? a Bastard Sonne of the Kings? And art not

1310thou Poines, his Brother?

1311Prince. Why thou Globe of sinfull Continents, what

1312a Life do'st thou lead?

1313Fal. A better then thou: I am a Gentleman, thou art

1314a Drawer.

1315Prince. Very true, Sir: and I come to draw you out

1316by the Eares.

1317Host. Oh, the Lord preserue thy good Grace: Wel-

1318come to London. Now Heauen blesse that sweete Face

1319of thine: what, are you come from Wales?

1320Fal. Thou whorson mad Compound of Maiestie: by

1321this light Flesh, and corrupt Blood, thou art welcome.

1322Dol. How? you fat Foole, I scorne you.

1323Poin. My Lord, hee will driue you out of your re-

1324uenge, and turne all to a merryment, if you take not the

1325heat.

1326Prince. You whorson Candle-myne you, how vildly

1327did you speake of me euen now, before this honest, ver-

1328tuous, ciuill Gentlewoman?

1329Host. 'Blessing on your good heart, and so shee is by

1330my troth.

1331Fal. Didst thou heare me?

1332Prince. Yes: and you knew me, as you did when you

1333ranne away by Gads-hill: you knew I was at your back,

1334and spoke it on purpose, to trie my patience.

1335Fal. No, no, no: not so: I did not thinke, thou wast

1336within hearing.

1337Prince. I shall driue you then to confesse the wilfull

1338abuse, and then I know how to handle you.

1339Fal. No abuse (Hall) on mine Honor, no abuse.

1340Prince. Not to disprayse me? and call me Pantler, and

1341Bread-chopper, and I know not what?

1342Fal. No abuse (Hal.)

1343Poin. No abuse?

1344Fal. No abuse (Ned) in the World: honest Ned none.

1345I disprays'd him before the Wicked, that the Wicked

1346might not fall in loue with him: In which doing, I haue

1347done the part of a carefull Friend, and a true Subiect, and

1348thy Father is to giue me thankes for it. No abuse (Hal:)

1349none (Ned) none; no Boyes, none.

1350Prince. See now whether pure Feare, and entire Cow-

1351ardise, doth not make thee wrong this vertuous Gentle-

1352woman, to close with vs? Is shee of the Wicked? Is thine

1353Hostesse heere, of the Wicked? Or is the Boy of the

1354Wicked? Or honest Bardolph (whose Zeale burnes in his

1355Nose) of the Wicked?

1356Poin. Answere thou dead Elme, answere.

1357Fal. The Fiend hath prickt downe Bardolph irrecoue-

1358rable, and his Face is Lucifers Priuy-Kitchin, where hee

1359doth nothing but rost Mault-Wormes: for the Boy,

1360there is a good Angell about him, but the Deuill out-

1361bids him too.

1362Prince. For the Women?

1363Fal. For one of them, shee is in Hell alreadie, and

1364burnes poore Soules: for the other, I owe her Mo-

1365ney; and whether shee bee damn'd for that, I know

1366not.

1367Host. No, I warrant you.

1368Fal. No, I thinke thou art not: I thinke thou art quit

1369for that. Marry, there is another Indictment vpon thee,

1370for suffering flesh to bee eaten in thy house, contrary to

1371the Law, for the which I thinke thou wilt howle.

1372Host. All Victuallers doe so: What is a Ioynt of

1373Mutton, or two, in a whole Lent?

1374Prince. You, Gentlewoman.

1375Dol. What sayes your Grace?

1376Falst. His Grace sayes that, which his flesh rebells

1377against.

1378Host. Who knocks so lowd at doore? Looke to the

1379doore there, Francis?

1381Prince. Peto, how now? what newes?

1382Peto. The King, your Father, is at Westminster,

1383And there are twentie weake and wearied Postes,

1384Come from the North: and as I came along,

1385I met, and ouer-tooke a dozen Captaines,

1386Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the Tauernes,

1387And asking euery one for Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

1388Prince. By Heauen (Poines) I feele me much to blame,

1389So idly to prophane the precious time,

1390When Tempest of Commotion, like the South,

1391Borne with black Vapour, doth begin to melt,

1392And drop vpon our bare vnarmed heads.

1393Giue me my Sword, and Cloake:

1394Falstaffe, good night. Exit.

1395Falst. Now comes in the sweetest Morsell of the

1396night, and wee must hence, and leaue it vnpickt. More

1397knocking at the doore? How now? what's the mat-

1398ter?

1399Bard. You must away to Court, Sir, presently,

1400A dozen Captaines stay at doore for you.

1401Falst. Pay the Musitians, Sirrha: farewell Hostesse,

1402farewell Dol. You see (my good Wenches) how men of

1403Merit are sought after: the vndeseruer may sleepe, when

1404the man of Action is call'd on. Farewell good Wenches:

1405if I be not sent away poste, I will see you againe, ere I

1406goe.

1407Dol. I cannot speake: if my heart bee not readie

1408to burst--- Well (sweete Iacke) haue a care of thy

1409selfe.

1410Falst. Farewell, farewell. Exit.

1411Host. Well, fare thee well: I haue knowne thee

1412these twentie nine yeeres, come Pescod-time: but an

1413honester, and truer-hearted man--- Well, fare thee

1414well.

1415Bard. Mistris Teare-sheet.

1416Host. What's the matter?

1417Bard. Bid Mistris Teare-sheet come to my Master.

1418Host. Oh runne Dol, runne: runne, good Dol.

1422King. Goe, call the Earles of Surrey, and of Warwick:

1423But ere they come, bid them ore-reade these Letters,

1424And well consider of them: make good speed.

1425How many thousand of my poorest Subiects

1426Are at this howre asleepe? O Sleepe, O gentle Sleepe,

1427Natures soft Nurse, how haue I frighted thee,

1428That thou no more wilt weigh my eye-lids downe,

1429And steepe my Sences in Forgetfulnesse?

1430Why rather (Sleepe) lyest thou in smoakie Cribs,

1431Vpon vneasie Pallads stretching thee,

1432And huisht with bussing Night, flyes to thy slumber,

1433Then in the perfum'd Chambers of the Great?

1434Vnder the Canopies of costly State,

1435And lull'd with sounds of sweetest Melodie?

1436O thou dull God, why lyest thou with the vilde,

1437In loathsome Beds, and leau'st the Kingly Couch,

1438A Watch-case, or a common Larum-Bell?

1439Wilt thou, vpon the high and giddie Mast,

1440Seale vp the Ship-boyes Eyes, and rock his Braines,

1441In Cradle of the rude imperious Surge,

1442And in the visitation of the Windes,

1443Who take the Ruffian Billowes by the top,

1444Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them

1445With deaff'ning Clamors in the slipp'ry Clouds,

1446That with the hurley, Death it selfe awakes?

1447Canst thou (O partiall Sleepe) giue thy Repose

1448To the wet Sea-Boy, in an houre so rude:

1449And in the calmest, and most stillest Night,

1450With all appliances, and meanes to boote,

1451Deny it to a King? Then happy Lowe, lye downe,

1452Vneasie lyes the Head, that weares a Crowne.

1454War. Many good-morrowes to your Maiestie.

1455King. Is it good-morrow, Lords?

1456War. 'Tis One a Clock, and past.

1457King. Why then good-morrow to you all (my Lords:)

1458Haue you read o're the Letters that I sent you?

1459War. We haue (my Liege.)

1460King. Then you perceiue the Body of our Kingdome,

1461How foule it is: what ranke Diseases grow,

1462And with what danger, neere the Heart of it?

1463War. It is but as a Body, yet distemper'd,

1464Which to his former strength may be restor'd,

1465With good aduice, and little Medicine:

1466My Lord Northumberland will soone be cool'd.

1467King. Oh Heauen, that one might read the Book of Fate,

1468And see the reuolution of the Times

1469Make Mountaines leuell, and the Continent

1470(Wearie of solide firmenesse) melt it selfe

1471Into the Sea: and other Times, to see

1472The beachie Girdle of the Ocean

1473Too wide for Neptunes hippes; how Chances mocks

1474And Changes fill the Cuppe of Alteration

1475With diuers Liquors. 'Tis not tenne yeeres gone,

1476Since Richard, and Northumberland, great friends,

1477Did feast together; and in two yeeres after,

1478Were they at Warres. It is but eight yeeres since,

1479This Percie was the man, neerest my Soule,

1480Who, like a Brother, toyl'd in my Affaires,

1481And layd his Loue and Life vnder my foot:

1482Yea, for my sake, euen to the eyes of Richard

1483Gaue him defiance. But which of you was by

1484(You Cousin Neuil, as I may remember)

1485When Richard, with his Eye, brim-full of Teares,

1486(Then check'd, and rated by Northumberland)

1487Did speake these words (now prou'd a Prophecie:)

1488Northumberland, thou Ladder, by the which

1489My Cousin Bullingbrooke ascends my Throne:

1490(Though then, Heauen knowes, I had no such intent,

1491But that necessitie so bow'd the State,

1492That I and Greatnesse were compell'd to kisse:)

1493The Time shall come (thus did hee follow it)

1494The Time will come, that foule Sinne gathering head,

1495Shall breake into Corruption: so went on,

1496Fore-telling this same Times Condition,

1497And the diuision of our Amitie.

1498War. There is a Historie in all mens Liues,

1499Figuring the nature of the Times deceas'd:

1500The which obseru'd, a man may prophecie

1501With a neere ayme, of the maine chance of things,

1502As yet not come to Life, which in their Seedes

1503And weake beginnings lye entreasured:

1504Such things become the Hatch and Brood of Time;

1505And by the necessarie forme of this,

1506King Richard might create a perfect guesse,

1507That great Northumberland, then false to him,

1508Would of that Seed, grow to a greater falsenesse,

1509Which should not finde a ground to roote vpon,

1510Vnlesse on you.

1511King. Are these things then Necessities?

1512Then let vs meete them like Necessities;

1513And that same word, euen now cryes out on vs:

1514They say, the Bishop and Northumberland

1515Are fiftie thousand strong.

1516War. It cannot be (my Lord:)

1517Rumor doth double, like the Voice, and Eccho,

1518The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace

1519To goe to bed, vpon my Life (my Lord)

1520The Pow'rs that you alreadie haue sent forth,

1521Shall bring this Prize in very easily.

1522To comfort you the more, I haue receiu'd

1523A certaine instance, that Glendour is dead.

1524Your Maiestie hath beene this fort-night ill,

1525And these vnseason'd howres perforce must adde

1526Vnto your Sicknesse.

1527King. I will take your counsaile:

1528And were these inward Warres once out of hand,

1529Wee would (deare Lords) vnto the Holy-Land.

1534Shal. Come-on, come-on, come-on: giue mee your

1535Hand, Sir; giue mee your Hand, Sir: an early stirrer, by

1536the Rood. And how doth my good Cousin Silence?

1537Sil. Good-morrow, good Cousin Shallow.

1538Shal. And how doth my Cousin, your Bed-fellow?

1539and your fairest Daughter, and mine, my God-Daughter

1540Ellen?

1541Sil. Alas, a blacke Ouzell (Cousin Shallow.)

1542Shal. By yea and nay, Sir, I dare say my Cousin William

1543is become a good Scholler? hee is at Oxford still, is hee

1544not?

1545Sil. Indeede Sir, to my cost.

1546Shal. Hee must then to the Innes of Court shortly: I

1547was once of Clements Inne; where (I thinke) they will

1548talke of mad Shallow yet.

1549Sil. You were call'd lustie Shallow then (Cousin.)

1550Shal. I was call'd any thing: and I would haue done

1551any thing indeede too, and roundly too. There was I, and

1552little Iohn Doit of Staffordshire, and blacke George Bare,

1553and Francis Pick-bone, and Will Squele a Cot-sal-man, you

1554had not foure such Swindge-bucklers in all the Innes of

1555Court againe: And I may say to you, wee knew where

1556the Bona-Roba's were, and had the best of them all at

1557commandement. Then was Iacke Falstaffe (now Sir Iohn)

1558a Boy, and Page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Nor-

1559folke.

1560Sil. This Sir Iohn (Cousin) that comes hither anon a-

1561bout Souldiers?

1562Shal. The same Sir Iohn, the very same: I saw him

1563breake Scoggan's Head at the Court-Gate, when hee was

1564a Crack, not thus high: and the very same day did I fight

1565with one Sampson Stock-fish, a Fruiterer, behinde Greyes-Inne.

1566Oh the mad dayes that I haue spent! and to see

1567how many of mine olde Acquaintance are dead?

1568Sil. Wee shall all follow (Cousin.)

1569Shal. Certaine: 'tis certaine: very sure, very sure:

1570Death is certaine to all, all shall dye. How a good Yoke

1571of Bullocks at Stamford Fayre?

1572Sil. Truly Cousin, I was not there.

1573Shal. Death is certaine. Is old Double of your Towne

1574liuing yet?

1575Sil. Dead, Sir.

1576Shal. Dead? See, see: hee drew a good Bow: and

1577dead? hee shot a fine shoote. Iohn of Gaunt loued

1578him well, and betted much Money on his head. Dead?

1579hee would haue clapt in the Clowt at Twelue-score, and

1580carryed you a fore-hand Shaft at foureteene, and foure-

1581teene and a halfe, that it would haue done a mans heart

1582good to see. How a score of Ewes now?

1583Sil. Thereafter as they be: a score of good Ewes

1584may be worth tenne pounds.

1585Shal. And is olde Double dead?

1587Sil. Heere come two of Sir Iohn Falstaffes Men (as I

1588thinke.)

1589Shal. Good-morrow, honest Gentlemen.

1590Bard. I beseech you, which is Iustice Shallow?

1591Shal. I am Robert Shallow (Sir) a poore Esquire of this

1592Countie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace:

1593What is your good pleasure with me?

1594Bard. My Captaine (Sir) commends him to you:

1595my Captaine, Sir Iohn Falstaffe: a tall Gentleman, and a

1596most gallant Leader.

1597Shal. Hee greetes me well: (Sir) I knew him a

1598good Back-Sword-man. How doth the good Knight?

1599may I aske, how my Lady his Wife doth?

1600Bard. Sir, pardon: a Souldier is better accommoda-

1601ted, then with a Wife.

1602Shal. It is well said, Sir; and it is well said, indeede,

1603too: Better accommodated? it is good, yea indeede is

1604it: good phrases are surely, and euery where very com-

1605mendable. Accommodated, it comes of Accommodo:

1606very good, a good Phrase.

1607Bard. Pardon, Sir, I haue heard the word. Phrase

1608call you it? by this Day, I know not the Phrase: but

1609I will maintaine the Word with my Sword, to bee a

1610Souldier-like Word, and a Word of exceeding good

1611Command. Accommodated: that is, when a man is

1612(as they say) accommodated: or, when a man is, being

1613whereby he thought to be accommodated, which is an

1614excellent thing.

1616Shal. It is very iust: Looke, heere comes good Sir

1617Iohn. Giue me your hand, giue me your Worships good

1618hand: Trust me, you looke well: and beare your yeares

1619very well. Welcome, good Sir Iohn.

1620Fal. I am glad to see you well, good M. Robert Shal-

1621low: Master Sure-card as I thinke?

1622Shal. No sir Iohn, it is my Cosin Silence: in Commissi-

1623on with mee.

1624Fal. Good M. Silence, it well befits you should be of

1625the peace.

1626Sil. Your good Worship is welcome.

1627Fal. Fye, this is hot weather (Gentlemen) haue you

1628prouided me heere halfe a dozen of sufficient men?

1629Shal. Marry haue we sir: Will you sit?

1630Fal. Let me see them, I beseech you.

1631Shal. Where's the Roll? Where's the Roll? Where's

1632the Roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see: so, so, so, so:

1633yea marry Sir. Raphe Mouldie: let them appeare as I call:

1634let them do so, let them do so: Let mee see, Where is

1635Mouldie?

1636Moul. Heere, if it please you.

1637Shal. What thinke you (Sir Iohn) a good limb'd fel-

1638low: yong, strong, and of good friends.

1639Fal. Is thy name Mouldie?

1640Moul. Yea, if it please you.

1641Fal. 'Tis the more time thou wert vs'd.

1642Shal. Ha, ha, ha, most excellent. Things that are moul-

1643die, lacke vse: very singular good. Well saide Sir Iohn,

1644very well said.

1645Fal. Pricke him.

1646Moul. I was prickt well enough before, if you could

1647haue let me alone: my old Dame will be vndone now, for

1648one to doe her Husbandry, and her Drudgery; you need

1649not to haue prickt me, there are other men fitter to goe

1650out, then I.

1651Fal. Go too: peace Mouldie, you shall goe. Mouldie,

1652it is time you were spent.

1653Moul. Spent?

1654Shallow. Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: Know you

1655where you are? For the other sir Iohn: Let me see: Simon

1656Shadow.

1657Fal. I marry, let me haue him to sit vnder: he's like to

1658be a cold souldier.