1371many in our Land, by the Name of Pitch: this Pitch (as

1372ancient Writers doe report) doth defile; so doth the com-

1373panie thou keepest: for Harry, now I doe not speake to

1374thee in Drinke, but in Teares; not in Pleasure, but in Pas-

1375sion; not in Words onely, but in Woes also: and yet

1376there is a vertuous man, whom I haue often noted in thy

1377companie, but I know not his Name.

1378Prin. What manner of man, and it like your Ma-

1379iestie?

1380Falst. A goodly portly man yfaith, and a corpulent,

1381of a chearefull Looke, a pleasing Eye, and a most noble

1382Carriage, and as I thinke, his age some fiftie, or (byrlady)

1383inclining to threescore; and now I remember mee, his

1384Name is Falstaffe: if that man should be lewdly giuen,

1385hee deceiues mee; for Harry, I see Vertue in his Lookes.

1386If then the Tree may be knowne by the Fruit, as the Fruit

1387by the Tree, then peremptorily I speake it, there is Vertue

1388in that Falstaffe: him keepe with, the rest banish. And

1389tell mee now, thou naughtie Varlet, tell mee, where hast

1390thou beene this moneth?

1391Prin. Do'st thou speake like a King? doe thou stand

1392for mee, and Ile play my Father.

1393Falst. Depose me: if thou do'st it halfe so grauely, so

1394maiestically, both in word and matter, hang me vp by the

1395heeles for a Rabbet-sucker, or a Poulters Hare.

1396Prin. Well, heere I am set.

1397Falst. And heere I stand: iudge my Masters.

1398Prin. Now Harry, whence come you?

1399Falst. My Noble Lord, from East-cheape.

1400Prin. The complaints I heare of thee, are grieuous.

1401Falst. Yfaith, my Lord, they are false: Nay, Ile tickle

1402ye for a young Prince.

1403Prin. Swearest thou, vngracious Boy? henceforth

1404ne're looke on me: thou art violently carryed away from

1405Grace: there is a Deuill haunts thee, in the likenesse of a

1406fat old Man; a Tunne of Man is thy Companion: Why

1407do'st thou conuerse with that Trunke of Humors, that

1408Boulting-Hutch of Beastlinesse, that swolne Parcell of

1409Dropsies, that huge Bombard of Sacke, that stuft Cloake-

1410bagge of Guts, that rosted Manning Tree Oxe with the

1411Pudding in his Belly, that reuerend Vice, that grey Ini-

1412quitie, that Father Ruffian, that Vanitie in yeeres? where-

1413in is he good, but to taste Sacke, and drinke it? wherein

1414neat and cleanly, but to carue a Capon, and eat it? where-

1415in Cunning, but in Craft? wherein Craftie, but in Villa-

1416nie? wherein Villanous, but in all things? wherein wor-

1417thy, but in nothing?

1418Falst. I would your Grace would take me with you:

1419whom meanes your Grace?

1420Prince. That villanous abhominable mis-leader of

1421Youth, Falstaffe, that old white-bearded Sathan.

1422Falst. My Lord, the man I know.

1423Prince. I know thou do'st.

1424Falst. But to say, I know more harme in him then in

1425my selfe, were to say more then I know. That hee is olde

1426(the more the pittie) his white hayres doe witnesse it:

1427but that hee is (sauing your reuerence) a Whore-ma-

1428ster, that I vtterly deny. If Sacke and Sugar bee a fault,

1429Heauen helpe the Wicked: if to be olde and merry, be a

1430sinne, then many an olde Hoste that I know, is damn'd:

1431if to be fat, be to be hated, then Pharaohs leane Kine are

1432to be loued. No, my good Lord, banish Peto, banish

1433Bardolph, banish Poines: but for sweete Iacke Falstaffe,

1434kinde Iacke Falstaffe, true Iacke Falstaffe, valiant Iacke Fal-

1435staffe, and therefore more valiant, being as hee is olde Iack

1436Falstaffe, banish not him thy Harryes companie, banish

1437not him thy Harryes companie; banish plumpe Iacke, and

1438banish all the World.

1439Prince. I doe, I will.

1441Bard. O, my Lord, my Lord, the Sherife, with a most

1442most monstrous Watch, is at the doore.

1443Falst. Out you Rogue, play out the Play: I haue much

1444to say in the behalfe of that Falstaffe.

1446Hostesse. O, my Lord, my Lord.

1447Falst. Heigh, heigh, the Deuill rides vpon a Fiddle-

1448sticke: what's the matter?

1449Hostesse. The Sherife and all the Watch are at the

1450doore: they are come to search the House, shall I let

1451them in?

1452Falst. Do'st thou heare Hal, neuer call a true peece of

1453Gold a Counterfeit: thou art essentially made, without

1454seeming so.

1455Prince. And thou a naturall Coward, without in-

1456stinct.

1457Falst. I deny your Maior: if you will deny the

1458Sherife, so: if not, let him enter. If I become not a Cart

1459as well as another man, a plague on my bringing vp: I

1460hope I shall as soone be strangled with a Halter, as ano-

1461ther.

1462Prince. Goe hide thee behinde the Arras, the rest

1463walke vp aboue. Now my Masters, for a true Face and

1464good Conscience.

1465Falst. Both which I haue had: but their date is out,

1466and therefore Ile hide me. Exit.

1467Prince. Call in the Sherife.

1469Prince. Now Master Sherife, what is your will with

1470mee?

1471She. First pardon me, my Lord. A Hue and Cry hath

1472followed certaine men vnto this house.

1473Prince. What men?

1474She. One of them is well knowne, my gracious Lord,

1475a grosse fat man.

1476Car. As fat as Butter.

1477Prince. The man, I doe assure you, is not heere,

1478For I my selfe at this time haue imploy'd him:

1479And Sherife, I will engage my word to thee,

1480That I will by to morrow Dinner time,

1481Send him to answere thee, or any man,

1482For any thing he shall be charg'd withall:

1483And so let me entreat you, leaue the house.

1484She. I will, my Lord: there are two Gentlemen

1485Haue in this Robberie lost three hundred Markes.

1486Prince. It may be so: if he haue robb'd these men,

1487He shall be answerable: and so farewell.

1488She. Good Night, my Noble Lord.

1489Prince. I thinke it is good Morrow, is it not?

1490She. Indeede, my Lord, I thinke it be two a Clocke.

1492Prince. This oyly Rascall is knowne as well as Poules:

1493goe call him forth.

1494Peto. Falstaffe? fast asleepe behinde the Arras, and

1495snorting like a Horse.

1496Prince. Harke, how hard he fetches breath: search his

1497Pockets.