If but as will I other accents borrow
Let me not stay a jot for dinner. Go get it 540ready.
1.4.9.1[Exit an attendant.]
1.4.10[To Kent] How now, what art thou?
A man, sir.
What dost thou profess? What wouldst thou 543with us?
I do profess to be no less than I seem, to serve 545him truly that will put me in trust, to love him that is 546honest, to converse with him that is wise and says little, to 547fear judgment, to fight when I cannot choose, and to 548eat no fish.
What art thou?
A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as 551the King.
If thou be'st as poor for a subject as he's for a 553king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou?
Service.
Who wouldst thou serve?
You.
Dost thou know me, fellow?
No sir, but you have that in your countenance 559which I would fain call master.
What's that?
Authority.
What services canst thou do?
I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a 564curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message 565bluntly. That which ordinary men are fit for I am 566qualified in, and the best of me is diligence.
How old art thou?
Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, 569nor so old to dote on her for anything. I have years on 570my back forty-eight.
Follow me. Thou shalt serve me. If I like thee no 572worse after dinner I will not part from thee yet. Dinner, 573ho! Dinner! Where's my knave, my fool? Go you and call 574my fool hither.
1.4.28.1[Exit an attendant.]
575Enter [Oswald, the] steward.
1.4.29You--you, sirrah--where's my daughter?
So please you--
1.4.30.1Exit [Oswald].
What says the fellow there? Call the 578clotpoll back.
[Exit a Knight.]
Where's my fool? Ho! I think the world's 579asleep.
[Enter Knight.]
1.4.32How now? Where's that mongrel?
He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.
Why came not the slave back to me when I 582called him?
Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner he 584would not.
He would not?
My lord, I know not what the matter is, 587but to my judgment your highness is not entertained 588with that ceremonious affection as you were wont. 589There's a great abatement of kindness appears as well in 590the general dependents as in the duke himself also, and 591your daughter.
Ha? Sayest thou so?
I beseech you pardon me, my lord, if I be 594mistaken, for my duty cannot be silent when I think 595your highness wronged.
Thou but rememberest me of mine own 597conception. I have perceived a most faint neglect of late, 598which I have rather blamed as mine own jealous 599curiosity than as a very pretense and purpose of unkindness. 600I will look further into 't. But where's my fool? I 601have not seen him this two days.
Since my young lady's going into France, 603sir, the fool hath much pined away.
No more of that, I have noted it well. Go you 605and tell my daughter I would speak with her.
1.4.40.1[Exit a servant.]
1.4.43.1[Exit another servant.]
608Enter [Oswald, the] steward.
609Oswald
My lady's father.
"My lady's father"? My lord's knave, you 611whoreson dog, you slave, you cur.
I am none of these, my lord. 613I beseech your pardon.
[Striking him] Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?
I'll not be strucken my lord.
[Tripping him] Nor tripped neither, you base football player.
I thank thee, fellow. 618Thou servest me, and I'll love thee.
[To Oswald] Come sir, arise. Away! I'll teach you differences. 620Away, away! If you will measure your lubber's length 621again, tarry, but away! Go to, have you wisdom? So.
1.4.51.1[Exit Oswald.]
Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee. [Giving money] There's 623earnest of thy service.
Let me hire him too. [To Kent, holding out his cap] Here's my coxcomb.
How now, my pretty knave, how dost thou?
[To Kent] Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.
Why, my boy?
Why? For taking one's part that's out of favor. 630Nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits thou'lt catch 631cold shortly. There, take my coxcomb. Why this fellow 632has banished two on's daughters, and did the third a 633blessing against his will. If thou follow him, thou must 634needs wear my coxcomb. [To Lear] How now, nuncle? Would 635I had two coxcombs and two daughters.
Why, my boy?
If I gave them all my living, I'd keep my 638coxcombs myself. There's mine; beg another of thy 639daughters.
Take heed, sirrah--the whip.
Truth's a dog must to kennel. He must be 642whipped out, when the Lady Brach may stand by th'fire 643and stink.
A pestilent gall to me.
Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech.
Do.
Mark it, nuncle.
This is nothing, fool.
Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer; 660you gave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of 661nothing nuncle?
Why no, boy. 663Nothing can be made out of nothing.
[To Kent] Prithee tell him, so much the rent of his land 665comes to. He will not believe a fool.
A bitter fool.
[To Lear] Dost thou know the difference, my boy, 668between a bitter fool and a sweet one?
No, lad, teach me.
What two crowns shall they be?
Why, after I have cut the egg i'th'middle and 674eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When 675thou clovest thy crowns i'th'middle and gavest away 676both parts, thou borest thine ass on thy back o'er the 677dirt. Thou had'st little wit in thy bald crown when thou 678gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in 679this, let him be whipped that first finds it so.
1.4.85.1[Sings.]
When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?
I have used it, nuncle, e'er since thou mad'st 686thy daughters thy mothers; for when thou gav'st them 687the rod, and puttest down thine own breeches,
1.4.91.1[Sings.]
1.4.96692Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach 693thy fool to lie. I would fain learn to lie.
An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped.
I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are. 696They'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt have me 697whipped for lying, and sometimes I am whipped for holding 698my peace. I had rather be any kind o'thing than a fool; 699and yet I would not be thee nuncle. Thou hast pared thy 700wit o'both sides, and left nothing i'th'middle. Here 701comes one o'the parings.
How now, daughter? What makes that frontlet 704on? You are too much of late i'th'frown.
Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no 706need to care for her frowning. Now thou art an "O" 707without a figure. I am better than thou art now--I am a fool, 708thou art nothing. [To Goneril] Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so 709your face bids me though you say nothing.
1.4.100.1[Sings.]
1.4.102He that keeps nor crust nor crumb,
1.4.104[Pointing to Lear.] That's a shelled peascod.
Not only, sir, this, your all-licensed fool,
For you know nuncle,
So out went the candle, and we were left 729darkling.
Are you our daughter?
I would you would make use of your good wisdom,
May not an ass know when the cart draws 736the horse?--
Does any here know me? 739This is not Lear.
Lear's shadow.
745Lear
Your name, fair gentlewoman?
This admiration, sir, is much o'th'savor
762Lear
Darkness and devils!
1.4.151.1[Exit one or more.]
You strike my people, and your disordered rabble
Woe that too late repents.
[Exit servant.]
774Albany
Pray, sir, be patient.
[To Goneril] Detested kite, thou liest.
1.4.169.1[Striking his head]
O Lear, Lear, Lear!
[Exeunt some.]
My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
788Lear
It may be so, my lord.
1.4.188.1Exeunt [Lear, Kent, Fool, and servants].
Now, gods that we adore, 805whereof comes this?
Never afflict yourself to know more of it,
What? Fifty of my followers at a clap
812Albany
What's the matter, sir?
I'll tell thee--814life and death, I am ashamed
1.4.209.1Exit [Lear].
830Goneril
Do you mark that?
I cannot be so partial, Goneril,
Pray you content. What, Oswald, ho!
Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, 836tarry. Take the fool with thee.
1.4.219.1Exit [Fool].
This man hath had good counsel. 843A hundred knights?
Well, you may fear too far.
850Goneril
Safer than trust too far.
857How now Oswald?
Ay, madam.
Take you some company and away to horse.
1.4.238.1[Exit Oswald.]
No, no, my lord,
How far your eyes may pierce I cannot tell.
Nay then--
Well, well, th'event.