6SIr Hugh, perswade me not: I will make a Star-

7Chamber matter of it, if hee were twenty Sir

8Iohn Falstoffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow

9Esquire.

10Slen. In the County of Glocester, Iustice of Peace and (Coram.

11Shal. I (Cosen Slender) and Cust-alorum.

12Slen. I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman borne

13(Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in any

14Bill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero.

15Shal. I that I doe, and haue done any time these three

16hundred yeeres.

17Slen. All his successors (gone before him) hath don't:

18and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they

19may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.

20Shal. It is an olde Coate.

21Euans. The dozen white Lowses doe become an old

22Coat well: it agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to

23man, and signifies Loue.

24Shal. The Luse is the fresh-fish, the salt-fish, is an old

25Coate.

26Slen. I may quarter (Coz).

27Shal. You may, by marrying.

28Euans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

29Shal. Not a whit.

30Euan. Yes per-lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat,

31there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple con-

32iectures; but that is all one: if Sir Iohn Falstaffe haue

33committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church

34and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make attone-

35ments and compremises betweene you.

36Shal. The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.

37Euan. It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there

38is no feare of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you)

39shall desire to heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a

40Riot: take your viza-ments in that.

41Shal. Ha; o'my life, if I were yong againe, the sword

42should end it.

43Euans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end

44it: and there is also another deuice in my praine, which

45peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is

46Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page,

47which is pretty virginity.

48Slen. Mistris Anne Page? she has browne haire, and

49speakes small like a woman.

50Euans. It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as

51you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes,

52and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand-sire vpon his deaths-

53bed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull resurrections) giue, when

54she is able to ouertake seuenteene yeeres old. It were a

55goot motion, if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles, and

56desire a marriage betweene Master Abraham, and Mistris

57Anne Page.

58Slen. Did her Grand-sire leaue her seauen hundred

59pound?

60Euan. I, and her father is make her a petter penny.

61Slen. I know the young Gentlewoman, she has good

62gifts.

63Euan. Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is

64goot gifts.

65Shal. Wel, let vs see honest M^r Page: is Falstaffe there?

66Euan. Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a lyer, as I

67doe despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not

68true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beseech you be

69ruled by your well-willers: I will peat the doore for M^r.

70Page. What hoa? Got-plesse your house heere.

71M^r. Page. Who's there?

72Euan. Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and Iu-

73stice Shallow, and heere yong Master Slender: that perad-

74uentures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to

75your likings.

76M^r. Page. I am glad to see your Worships well: I

77thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow.

78Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good

79doe it your good heart: I wish'd your Venison better, it

80was ill killd: how doth good Mistresse Page? and I thank

81you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.

82M. Page. Sir, I thanke you.

83Shal. Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.

84M. Pa. I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

85Slen. How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard

86say he was out-run on Cotsall.

87M. Pa. It could not be iudg'd, Sir.

88Slen. You'll not confesse: you'll not confesse.

89Shal. That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault:

90'tis a good dogge.

91M. Pa. A Cur, Sir.

92Shal. Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there

93be more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe

94heere?

95M. Pa. Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a

96good office betweene you.

97Euan. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake.

98Shal. He hath wrong'd me (Master Page.)

99M. Pa. Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it.

100Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that

101so (M. Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed he hath, at a

102word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Esquire, saith

103he is wronged.

104Ma. Pa. Here comes Sir Iohn.

105Fal. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complaine of me to

106the King?

107Shal. Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my

108deere, and broke open my Lodge.

109Fal. But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter?

110Shal. Tut, a pin: this shall be answer'd.

111Fal. I will answere it strait, I haue done all this:

112That is now answer'd.

113Shal. The Councell shall know this.

114Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known in coun-

115cell: you'll be laugh'd at.

116Eu. Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts.

117Fal. Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke

118your head: what matter haue you against me?

119Slen. Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you,

120and against your cony-catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym,

121and Pistoll.

122Bar. You Banbery Cheese.

123Slen. I, it is no matter.

124Pist. How now, Mephostophilus?

125Slen. I, it is no matter.

126Nym. Slice, I say; pauca, pauca: Slice, that's my humor.

127Slen. Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Cosen?

128Eua. Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderstand: there

129is three Vmpires in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is,

130Master Page (fidelicet Master Page,) & there is my selfe,

131(fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is (lastly, and fi-

132nally) mine Host of the Gater.

133Ma. Pa. We three to hear it, & end it between them.

134Euan. Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my

135note-booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cause,

136with as great discreetly as we can.

137Fal. Pistoll.

138Pist. He heares with eares.

139Euan. The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this?

140he heares with eare? why, it is affectations.

141Fal. Pistoll, did you picke M. Slenders purse?

142Slen. I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might

143neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe else, of

144seauen groates in mill-sixpences, and two Edward Sho-

145uelboords, that cost me two shilling and two pence a

146peece of Yead Miller: by these gloues.

147Fal. Is this true, Pistoll?

148Euan. No, it is false, if it is a picke-purse.

149Pist. Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and

150Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe:

151word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth,

152and scum thou liest.

153Slen. By these gloues, then 'twas he.

154Nym. Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will

155say marry trap with you, if you runne the nut-hooks hu-

156mor on me, that is the very note of it.

157Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for

158though I cannot remember what I did when you made

159me drunke, yet I am not altogether an asse.

160Fal. What say you Scarlet, and Iohn?

161Bar. Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had

162drunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences.

163Eu. It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance is.

164Bar. And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and

165so conclusions past the Car-eires.

166Slen. I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no mat-

167ter; Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue againe, but in honest,

168ciuill, godly company for this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile

169be drunke with those that haue the feare of God, and not

170with drunken knaues.

171Euan. So got-udge me, that is a vertuous minde.

172Fal. You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen;

173you heare it.

174M^r. Page. Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll

175drinke within.

176Slen. Oh heauen: This is Mistresse Anne Page.

177M^r. Page. How now Mistris Ford?

178Fal. Mistris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met:

179by your leaue good Mistris.

180M^r. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come,

181we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentle-

182men, I hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse.

183Slen. I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke

184of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where

185haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must I? you

186haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue you?

187Sim. Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to

188Alice Short-cake vpon Alhallowmas last, a fortnight a-

189fore Michaelmas.

190Shal. Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word

191with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a ten-

192der, a kinde of tender, made a farre-off by Sir Hugh here:

193doe you vnderstand me?

194Slen. I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so,

195I shall doe that that is reason.

196Shal. Nay, but vnderstand me.

197Slen. So I doe Sir.

198Euan. Giue eare to his motions; (M^r. Slender) I will

199description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

200Slen. Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies: I

201pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice of Peace in his Coun-

202trie, simple though I stand here.

203Euan. But that is not the question: the question is

204concerning your marriage.

205Shal. I, there's the point Sir.

206Eu. Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mi. An Page.

207Slen. Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any rea-

208sonable demands.

209Eu. But can you affection the 'o-man, let vs command

210to know that of your mouth, or of your lips: for diuers

211Philosophers hold, that the lips is parcell of the mouth:

212therfore precisely, cā you carry your good wil to y^e maid?

213Sh. Cosen Abraham Slender, can you loue her?

214Slen. I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that

215would doe reason.

216Eu. Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speake

217possitable, if you can carry-her your desires towards her.

218Shal. That you must:

219Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry her?

220Slen. I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your

221request (Cosen) in any reason.

222Shal. Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz):

223what I doe is to pleasure you (Coz:) can you loue the

224maid?

225Slen. I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if

226there bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen

227may decrease it vpon better acquaintance, when wee

228are married, and haue more occasion to know one ano-

229ther: I hope vpon familiarity will grow more content:

230but if you say mary-her, I will mary-her, that I am freely

231dissolued, and dissolutely.

232Eu. It is a fery discetion-answere; saue the fall is in

233the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according to our mea-

234ning) resolutely: his meaning is good.

235Sh. I: I thinke my Cosen meant well.

236Sl. I, or else I would I might be hang'd (la.)

237Sh. Here comes faire Mistris Anne; would I were

238yong for your sake, Mistris Anne.

239An. The dinner is on the Table, my Father desires

240your worships company.

241Sh. I will wait on him, (faire Mistris Anne.)

242Eu. Od's plessed-wil: I wil not be absēce at the grace.

243An. Wil't please your worship to come in, Sir?

244Sl. No, I thank you forsooth, hartely; I am very well.

245An. The dinner attends you, Sir.

246Sl. I am not a-hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe,

247Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my Cosen

248Shallow: a Iustice of peace sometime may be beholding

249to his friend, for a Man; I keepe but three Men, and a

250Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet

251I liue like a poore Gentleman borne.

252An. I may not goe in without your worship: they

253will not sit till you come.

254Sl. I'faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as

255though I did.

256An. I pray you Sir walke in.

257Sl. I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd

258my shin th'other day, with playing at Sword and Dag-

259ger with a Master of Fence (three veneys for a dish of

260stew'd Prunes) and by my troth, I cannot abide the smell

261of hot meate since. Why doe your dogs barke so? be

262there Beares ith' Towne?

263An. I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of.

264Sl. I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrell

265at it, as any man in England: you are afraid if you see the

266Beare loose, are you not?

267An. I indeede Sir.

268Sl. That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene

269Sackerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken him by the

270Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue so cride

271and shrekt at it, that it past: But women indeede, cannot

272abide 'em, they are very ill-fauour'd rough things.

273Ma. Pa. Come, gentle M. Slender, come; we stay for you.

274Sl. Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir.

275Ma. Pa. By cocke and pie, you shall not choose, Sir:

276come, come.

277Sl. Nay, pray you lead the way.

278Ma. Pa. Come on, Sir.

279Sl. Mistris Anne: your selfe shall goe first.

280An. Not I Sir, pray you keepe on.

281Sl. Truely I will not goe first: truely-la: I will not

282doe you that wrong.

283An. I pray you Sir.

284Sl. Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you

285doe your selfe wrong indeede-la. Exeunt.