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The Two Gentlemen of Verona.
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu.
And on a love-book pray for my success?
Upon some book I love, I'll pray for thee.
That's on some shallow story of deep love,
That's a deep story of a deeper love,
'Tis true, for you are over-boots in love,
Over the boots? Nay, give me not the boots.
No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
What?
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
'Tis Love you cavil at. I am not Love.
Love is your master, for he masters you;
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
And writers say, as the most forward bud
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
Sweet Proteus, no. Now let us take our leave.
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan.
As much to you at home, and so farewell.
1.1.68 Exit [Valentine].
He after honor hunts, I after love:
1.1.76 [Enter Speed.]
Sir Proteus, 'save you. Saw you my master?
But now he parted hence to embark for Milan.
Twenty to one, then, he is shipped already,
Indeed a sheep doth very often stray
You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then, 81and I a sheep?
I do.
Why then my horns are his horns, whether I 84wake or sleep.
A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
This proves me still a sheep.
True, and thy master a shepherd.
Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the 91sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my 92master seeks not me. Therefore I am no sheep.
The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, 94the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou 95for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages 96follows not thee. Therefore thou art a sheep.
Such another proof will make me cry "baa."
But dost thou hear? Gav'st thou my letter 99to Julia?
Ay, Sir. I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, 101a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a 102lost mutton, nothing for my labor.
Here's too small a pasture for such store of 104muttons.
If the ground be overcharged, you were best 106stick her.
Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound 108you.
Nay Sir, less than a pound shall serve me for car110rying your letter.
You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold.
From a pound to a pin? Fold it over and over, 113'tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.
But what said she?
1.1.104[Nods.] Ay.
Nod-ay, why that's "noddy."
You mistook, Sir. I say she did nod; 118and you ask me if she did nod, and I say Ay.
And that set together is "noddy."
Now you have taken the pains to set it toge121ther, take it for your pains.
No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter.
Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
Why Sir, how do you bear with me?
Marry Sir, the letter very orderly, 126having nothing but the word noddy for my pains.
Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.
And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
Come, come, open the matter in brief; what 130said she?
Open your purse, that the money and the matter 132may be both at once delivered.
Well, sir, here is for your pains. [Gives a coin to Proteus.] What said she?
[Considers coin.] Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
Why? Could'st thou perceive so much from her?
1.1.121Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her;
What said she, nothing?
1.1.128No, not so much as take this for thy pains. 143To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned me; 144in requital whereof, henceforth, carry your letters your145self. And so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.
1.1.129 [Exit Speed.]
Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wrack,
1.1.136 Exit.
But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
Ay, Madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
As of a knight, well-spoken, neat, and fine;
What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
Well of his wealth; but of himself, so-so.
What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
Lord, Lord, to see what folly reigns in us.
How now? What means this passion at his name?
Pardon, dear madam, 'tis a passing shame
Why not on Proteus as of all the rest?
Then thus: of many good, I think him best.
Your reason?
I have no other but a woman's reason:
And would'st thou have me cast my love on him?
Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
Yet he, of all the rest, I think best loves ye.
His little speaking shows his love but small.
Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
They do not love that do not show their love.
Oh, they love least that let men know their love.
I would I knew his mind.
Peruse this paper, madam.
1.2.37[Gives her a letter.]
"To Julia." Say, from whom?
That the contents will show.
Say, say, who gave it thee?
Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker.
To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
Will ye be gone?
That you may ruminate.
1.2.55Exit [Lucetta].
And yet I would I had o'er looked the letter.
1.2.73[Enter Lucetta.]
1.2.74[She drops the letter.]
What would your ladyship?
Is't near dinner time?
I would it were,
1.2.80[Picks up letter.]
What is't that you
Nothing.
Why didst thou stoop then?
To take a paper up that I let fall.
And is that paper nothing?
Nothing concerning me.
Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
As little by such toys as may be possible.
It is too heavy for so light a tune.
Heavy? Belike it hath some burden then?
Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
And why not you?
I cannot reach so high.
Let's see your song.
1.2.102[Takes the letter.]
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out.
You do not?
No, madam, 'tis too sharp.
You, minion, are too saucy.
Nay, now you are too flat,
The mean is drowned with your unruly base.
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me;
1.2.116[Tears and throws down or drops the letter.]
1.2.120 [Aside] She makes it strange, but she would be best pleased
1.2.122 [Exit Lucetta.]
Nay, would I were so angered with the same.
1.2.149 [Enter Lucetta.]
Madam, dinner is ready, and your father stays.
Well, let us go.
What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
If you respect them, best to take them up.
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down.
I see you have a month's mind to them.
Ay, Madam, you may say what sights you see;
Come, come, wilt please you go?
1.2.161Exeunt.
Tell me Pantino, what sad talk was that
'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.
Why? What of him?
He wondered that your lordship
Nor need'st thou much importune me to that
I think your lordship is not ignorant
I know it well.
'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither.
I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised.
Tomorrow, may it please you, Don Alfonso
Good company. With them shall Proteus go.
1.3.47 [Enter Proteus reading a letter.]
Sweet love, sweet lines, sweet life.
How now? What letter are you reading there?
May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two
Lend me the letter. Let me see what news.
There is no news, my lord, but that he writes
And how stand you affected to his wish?
As one relying on your lordship's will,
My will is something sorted with his wish.
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided.
Look what thou want'st shall be sent after thee.
1.3.82 [Exit Antonio and Pantino]
Thus have I shunned the fire for fear of burning
1.3.93[Enter Pantino]
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you.
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
Sir, your glove.
Not mine. My gloves are on.
Why then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Ha? Let me see. Ay, give it me, it's mine.
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
How now, sirrah?
She is not within hearing, sir.
Why sir, who bad you call her?
Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
Well, you'll still be too forward.
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
She that your worship loves?
Why, how know you that I am in love?
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have 414learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a 415malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a Robin red416breast; to walk alone like one that had the pestilence; 417to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A.B.C.; to 418weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam: 419to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that 420fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hal421lowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow 422like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the 423lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; 424when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And 425now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I 426look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Are all these things perceived in me?
They are all perceived without ye.
Without me? They cannot.
Without you? Nay, that's certain, for with431out you were so simple, none else would. But you are 432so without these follies, that these follies are within you, 433and shine through you like the water in a urinal, that 434not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment 435on your malady.
But tell me, dost thou know my Lady Silvia?
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
Why sir, I know her not.
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and 441yet knowst her not?
Is she not hard-favored, sir?
Not so fair, boy, as well-favored.
Sir, I know that well enough.
What dost thou know?
That she is not so fair, as (of you) well-fa447vored.
That's because the one is painted and the o451ther out of all count.
How painted? And how out of count?
Marry sir, so painted to make her fair that no 454man counts of her beauty.
How esteemst thou me? I account of her beauty.
You never saw her since she was deformed.
How long hath she been deformed?
Ever since you loved her.
I have loved her ever since I saw her, 460and still I see her beautiful.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
Why?
Because Love is blind. Oh, that you had mine 464eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont 465to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for going un466gartered.
What should I see then?
Your own present folly, and her passing de469formity. For he, being in love, could not see to garter 470his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on 471your hose.
Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning 473you could not see to wipe my shoes.
True, sir, I was in love with my bed. I thank 475you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the 476bolder to chide you for yours.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
I would you were set, so your affection would 479cease.
Last night she enjoined me 481to write some lines to one she loves.
And have you?
I have.
Are they not lamely writ?
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. 486Peace, here she comes.
[Aside.]
O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! 488Now will he interpret to her.
2.1.59[Enter Silvia.]
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
[Aside.]
Oh, give ye good e'en. Here's a million of 491manners.
Sir Valentine, and servant, to you two thousand.
[Aside.]
He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
2.1.68 [Gives her a letter.]
I thank you, gentle servant. 'Tis very clerkly done.
Now trust me, Madam, it came hardly off.
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
No, Madam, so it stead you, I will write,
A pretty period. Well, I guess the sequel;
[Aside.]
And yet you will, and yet another yet.
What means your ladyship?
Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ,
[Offers the letter again.]
Madam, they are for you.
Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request,
Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,
If it please me, madam? What then?
Why if it please you, take it for your labor.
2.1.97 Exit [Silvia].
[Aside.]
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
532To himself should write the letter?
How now, sir? 534What, are you reasoning with your self?
Nay, I was rhyming. 'Tis you that have the reason.
To do what?
To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.
To whom?
To your self. Why, she woos you by a figure.
What figure?
By a letter, I should say.
Why, she hath not writ to me.
2.1.114What need she, 544when she hath made you write to your self? 545Why, do you not perceive the jest?
No, believe me.
No believing you indeed, sir. 548But did you perceive her earnest?
She gave me none, except an angry word.
Why, she hath given you a letter.
That's the letter I writ to her friend.
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
I would it were no worse.
I'll warrant you, 'tis as well. 555For often have you writ to her, and she in modesty, 556or else for want of idle time, could not again reply. 557Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, 558herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover. 559All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
560Why muse you sir, 'tis dinner time.
I haue dined.
2.1.125Ay, but hearken, sir. Though the chameleon Love 563can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my 564victuals, and would fain have meat. Oh, be not like 565your mistress! Be moved! Be moved!
2.1.126Exeunt.
Have patience, gentle Julia.
I must where is no remedy.
When possibly I can, I will return.
If you turn not, you will return the sooner.
[Gives a ring to Proteus.]
Why then we'll make exchange;
[Gives a ring to Julia.]
And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
[They kiss.]
Here is my hand, for my true constancy,
2.2.20What, gone without a word?
2.2.23[Enter Pantino.]
Sir Proteus, you are stayed for.
Go, I come, I come.
Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done 594weeping. All the kind of the Lances have this very 595fault. I have received my proportion, like the prodigious 596son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's 597court. I think Crab my dog be the sourest natured 598dog that lives. My mother weeping, my father 599wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our 600cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great 601perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed 602one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone, and has no 603more pity in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept 604to have seen our parting. Why my Grandam, having 605no eyes, look you, wept her self blind at my parting. 606Nay, I'll shew you the manner of it. This shoe is my fa607ther. No, this left shoe is my father. No, no, this left 608shoe is my mother. Nay, that cannot be so neither. 609Yes, it is so, it is so: it hath the worser sole. This shoe 610with the hole in it is my mother, and this my father. 611A vengeance on't, there 'tis. Now, sir, this staff is my si612ster, for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as 613small as a wand. This hat is Nan, our maid. I am the 614dog. No, the dog is himself, and I am the dog. 615Oh, the dog is me, and I am my self. Ay, so, so. Now 616come I to my father. "Father, your blessing." Now 617should not the shoe speak a word for weeping. 618Now should I kiss my father. Well, he weeps on. 619Now come I to my mother. Oh, that she could speak 620now, like a wood woman. Well, I kiss her. Why, 621there 'tis, here's my mother's breath up and down. 622Now come I to my sister. Mark the moan she makes. 623Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor 624speaks a word. But see how I lay the dust with my 625tears.
2.3.4[Enter Pantino.]
Lance, away, away! Aboard! Thy master is 627shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the 628matter? Why weep'st thou, man? Away, ass, you'll lose 629the tide if you tarry any longer.
It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is the 631unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
What's the unkindest tide?
Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
Tut, man. I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and 635in losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and in losing thy 636voyage, lose thy master, and in losing thy master, 637lose thy service, and in losing thy service-
[Lance covers Pantino's mouth.]
Why 638dost thou stop my mouth?
For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
Where should I lose my tongue?
In thy tale.
In thy tail.
Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the ma644ster, and the service, and the tide? Why, man, if the river 645were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind 646were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
Come, come away, man, I was sent to call 648thee.
Sir, call me what thou dar'st.
Wilt thou go?
Well, I will go.
Servant?
Mistress.
Master, Sir Turio frowns on you.
Ay, boy, it's for love.
Not of you.
Of my mistress, then.
'Twere good you knocked him.
[Exit Speed.]
Servant, you are sad.
Indeed, madam, I seem so.
Seem you that you are not?
Haply I do.
So do counterfeits.
So do you.
What seem I that I am not?
Wise.
What instance of the contrary?
Your folly.
And how quote you my folly?
I quote it in your jerkin.
My jerkin is a doublet.
Well then, I'll double your folly.
How?
What, angry, Sir Turio? Do you change color?
Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of chameleon.
That hath more mind to feed on your blood 680than live in your air.
You have said, sir.
Ay, sir, and done, too, for this time.
I know it well, sir. You always end ere you begin.
A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off
'Tis indeed, madam. We thank the giver.
Who is that, servant?
Your self, sweet lady, for you gave the fire.
Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall 691make your wit bankrupt.
I know it well, sir. You have an exchequer of words, 693and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers, 694for it appears by their bare liveries 695that they live by your bare words.
2.4.41 [Enter Duke.]
Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.
My lord, I will be thankful
Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?
Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman
Hath he not a son?
Ay, my good lord, a son that well deserves
You know him well?
I knew him as my self, for from our infancy
Beshrew me sir, but if he make this good
Should I have wished a thing, it had been he.
Welcome him, then, according to his worth.
[Exit Duke.]
This is the gentleman I told your ladyship
Belike that now she hath enfranchised them
Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.
Nay, then, he should be blind, and being blind
Why lady, Love hath twenty pair of eyes.
They say that Love hath not an eye at all.
To see such lovers, Turio, as your self.
2.4.93[Enter Proteus.]
Have done, have done. Here comes the gentleman.
Welcome, dear Proteus. Mistress, I beseech you,
His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,
Mistress, it is. Sweet Lady, entertain him
Too low a mistress for so high a servant.
Not so, sweet lady, but too mean a servant
Leave off discourse of disability:
My duty will I boast of, nothing else.
And duty never yet did want his meed.
I'll die on him that says so but your self.
That you are welcome?
That you are worthless.
2.4.112 [Enter a messenger to Turio.]
Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.
[Exit messenger.]
I wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Turio,
We'll both attend upon your ladyship.
[Exit Silvia and Turio.]
Now tell me: how do all from whence you came?
Your friends are well, and have thee much commended.
And how do yours?
I left them all in health.
How does your lady? And how thrives your love?
My tales of love were wont to weary you,
Ay, Proteus, but that life is altered now,
Enough, I read your fortune in your eye.
Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?
No, but she is an earthly paragon.
Call her divine.
I will not flatter her.
Oh flatter me! For Love delights in praises.
When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,
Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,
Except my mistress.
Sweet, except not any,
Have I not reason to prefer mine own?
And I will help thee to prefer her too.
Why Valentine, what bragadism is this?
Pardon me, Proteus. All I can is nothing
Then let her alone.
Not for the world. Why, man, she is mine own,
But she loves you?
Ay, and we are betrothed; nay more, our marriage hour,
Go on before; I shall enquire you forth.
Will you make haste?
2.4.193 Exit [Valentine].
I will.
Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.
Forswear not thy self, sweet youth, for I am 875not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never 876undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place 877till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say wel878come.
Come on, you madcap. I'll to the alehouse 880with you presently, where, for one shot of five pence, 881thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But sirrah, how 882did thy master part with Madam Julia?
Marry after they closed in earnest, they parted 884very fairly in jest.
But shall she marry him?
No.
How then? Shall he marry her?
No, neither.
What, are they broken?
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
Why then, how stands the matter with them?
Marry thus, when it stands well with him, it 893stands well with her.
What an ass art thou. I understand thee not.
What a block art thou, that thou canst not! 896My staff understands me.
What thou sayst?
Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I'll but lean, 899and my staff understands me.
It stands under thee indeed.
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
But tell me true, will't be a match?
Ask my dog, if he say Ay, it will; if he say 904no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it 905will.
The conclusion is, then, that it will.
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but 908by a parable.
'Tis well that I get it so. But Lance, how sayst 910thou that my master is become a notable lover?
I never knew him otherwise.
Then how?
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to 914be.
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak'st me,
Why fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy 917master.
I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn 920himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the ale- 921house. If not, thou art a Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth 922the name of a Christian.
Why?
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as 925to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
At thy service.
To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn?
Counsel, Lucetta. Gentle girl, assist me,
Alas, the way is wearisome and long.
A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary
Better forbear till Proteus make return.
Oh, know'st thou not his looks are my soul's food?
I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire,
The more thou dam'st it up, the more it burns:
But in what habit will you go along?
Not like a woman, for I would prevent
Why then your ladyship must cut your hair.
No, girl, I'll knit it up in silken strings,
What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches?
That fits as well as tell me, good my Lord.
You must needs have them with a codpiece, madam.
Out, out, Lucetta! That will be ill-favored.
A round hose, madam, now's not worth a pin
Lucetta, as thou lov'st me, let me have
If you think so, then stay at home and go not.
Nay, that I will not.
Then never dream on infamy, but go.
That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear.
All these are servants to deceitful men.
Base men, that use them to so base effect.
Pray heav'n he prove so when you come to him.
Now, as thou lov'st me, do him not that wrong
Sir Turio, give us leave, I pray, a while;
My gracious lord, that which I would discover
Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care,
Know, noble Lord, they have devised a mean
Upon mine honor, he shall never know
Adieu, my Lord, Sir Valentine is coming.
[Exit Proteus.]
3.1.54[Enter Valentine.]
Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
Please it your Grace, there is a messenger
Be they of much import?
The tenor of them doth but signify
Nay then, no matter, stay with me a while;
I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
No, trust me, she is peevish, sullen, froward,
What would your grace have me to do in this?
There is a lady of Verona here
Win her with gifts if she respect not words.
But she did scorn a present that I sent her;
A woman sometimes scorns what best contents her.
But she I mean is promised by her friends
Why then I would resort to her by night.
Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
What lets but one may enter at her window?
Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
Why then a ladder quaintly made of cords
Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
This very night, for Love is like a child
By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder.
But hark thee, I will go to her alone.
It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
Ay, my good lord.
Then let me see thy cloak.
Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
3.1.142[Valentine or Duke removes Valentine's cloak, revealing a letter and corded ladder.]
[Reads.]
3.1.157 "Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee."
1221'Tis so, and here's the ladder for the purpose.
And why not death, rather than living torment?
3.1.193 [Enter Proteus and Lance.]
Run, boy, run, run and seek him out.
So-ho! So ho!
What seest thou?
Him we go to find. 1261There's not a hair on's head, but 'tis a Valentine.
Valentine?
No.
Who then? His spirit?
Neither.
What then?
Nothing.
Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
Who wouldst thou strike?
Nothing.
Villain, forbear.
Why Sir, I'll strike nothing. I pray you -
Sirrah, I say forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.
My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
Is Silvia dead?
No, Valentine.
No Valentine indeed, for sacred Silvia.
No, Valentine.
No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
That thou art banished - Oh, that's the news -
Oh, I have fed upon this woe already,
Ay, ay, and she hath offered to the doom,
No more, unless the next word that thou speak'st
Cease to lament for that thou canst not help
I pray thee Lance, and if thou seest my boy,
Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.
Oh, my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!
[Exit Valentine and Proteus.]
I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have 1331the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave; but 1332that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now 1333that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love; but a 1334team of horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who 1335'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I 1336will not tell my self; and yet 'tis a milk-maid; yet 'tis 1337not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis a maid, 1338for she is her master's maid and serves for wages. She 1339hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is 1340much in a bare Christian. [Pulls out a paper.] Here is the cate-log of her 1341condition. [Reads.] Imprimis, she can fetch and carry. Why,1342a horse can do no more. Nay, a horse cannot fetch, but 1343only carry; therefore is she better then a jade. Item, 1344she can milk. Look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with 1345clean hands.
[Enter Speed.]
How now Signor Lance? What news with 1347your mastership?
With my master's ship? Why, it is at sea.
Well, your old vice still: mistake the word. What 1350news, then, in your paper?
The black'st news that ever thou heard'st.
Why, man? How black?
Why, as black as ink.
Let me read them?
Fie on thee, jolt-head, thou canst not read.
Thou liest! I can.
I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
Marry, the son of my grandfather.
O illiterate loiterer, it was the son of thy 1360grandmother. This proves that thou canst not read.
Come, fool, come. Try me in thy paper.
[Gives him the paper.]
There, and Saint Nicholas be thy speed.
"Imprimis, she can milk."
Ay, that she can.
"Item, she brews good ale."
And thereof comes the proverb, "Blessing of 1367your heart, you brew good ale."
"Item, she can sew."
That's as much as to say, "Can she so?"
"Item, she can knit."
What need a man care for a stock with a wench 1372when she can knit him a stock?
"Item, she can wash and scour."
A special virtue, for then she need not be 1375washed and scoured.
"Item, she can spin."
Then may I set the world on wheels, when she 1378can spin for her living.
"Item, she hath many nameless virtues."
That's as much as to say "bastard virtues," that 1381indeed know not their fathers, and therefore have no 1382names.
Here follow her vices.
Close at the heels of her virtues.
"Item, she is not to be fasting in respect of her 1386breath."
Well, that fault may be mended with a break1388fast. Read on.
"Item, she hath a sweet mouth."
That makes amends for her sour breath.
"Item, she doth talk in her sleep."
It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her 1393talk.
"Item, she is slow in words."
O villain, that set this down among her vices! 1396To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue. 1397I pray thee, out with't and place it for her chief virtue.
"Item, she is proud."
Out with that too. 1400It was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her.
"Item, she hath no teeth."
I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
"Item, she is curst."
Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
"Item, she will often praise her liquor."
If her liquor be good, she shall. If she will not, 1407I will, for good things should be praised.
"Item, she is too liberal."
Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down 1410she is slow of. Of her purse, she shall not, for that I'll 1411keep shut. Now, of another thing she may, and that 1412cannot I help. Well, proceed.
"Item, she hath more hair than wit, and more 1414faults then hairs, and more wealth then faults."
Stop there, I'll have her. She was mine and not 1416mine twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse that 1417once more.
"Item, she hath more hair than wit."
More hair than wit. It may be. I'll prove it: The 1420cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more 1421then the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more 1422than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What's 1423next?
"And more faults than hairs."
That's monstrous. Oh, that that were out.
"And more wealth than faults."
Why, that word makes the faults gracious. 1428Well, I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is 1429impossible -
What then?
Why, then will I tell thee that thy master stays 1432for the at the north gate.
For me?
For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a bet1435ter man than thee.
And must I go to him?
Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long 1438that going will scarce serve the turn.
Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of your love 1440letters.
[Exit Speed.]
3.1.331Now will he be swinged for reading my letter. 1442An unmannerly slave that will thrust himself into se1443crets. I'll after to rejoice in the boy's correction.
3.1.332[Exit.]
Sir Turio, fear not but that she will love you
Since his exile she hath despised me most,
This weak impress of love is as a figure
3.2.13[Enter Proteus.]
Gone, my good lord.
My daughter takes his going grievously?
A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.
So I believe, but Turio thinks not so.
Longer than I prove loyal to your grace
Thou know'st how willingly I would effect
I do, my lord.
And also, I think, thou art not ignorant
She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
Ay, and perversely she perseveres so.
The best way is to slander Valentine
Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate.
Ay, if his enemy deliver it.
Then you must undertake to slander him.
And that, my Lord, I shall be loath to do.
Where your good word cannot advantage him,
You have prevailed, my lord. If I can do it
Therefore, as you unwind her love from him,
And Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind
As much as I can do, I will effect:
Ay, much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.
Say that upon the altar of her beauty
This discipline shows thou hast been in love.
And thy advice this night I'll put in practice.
About it, gentlemen.
We'll wait upon your grace till after supper
Even now about it; I will pardon you.
3.2.102Exeunt.
Fellows, stand fast! I see a passenger.
If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em.
Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye.
Sir, we are undone; these are the villains
My friends.
That's not so, sir. We are your enemies.
Peace, we'll hear him.
Ay, by my beard will we, for he is a proper man.
Valentine
Whither travel you?
To Verona.
Whence came you?
From Milan.
Have you long sojourned there?
Some sixteen months, and longer might have stayed
What, were you banished thence?
I was.
For what offence?
For that which now torments me to rehearse;
Why ne'er repent it, if it were done so;
I was, and held me glad of such a doom.
Have you the tongues?
My youthful travel therein made me happy,
By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar,
We'll have him. Sirs, a word.
4.1.41[The outlaws talk among themselves.]
Master, be one of them. 1584It's an honorable kind of thievery.
Peace, villain.
Tell us this: have you any thing to take to?
Nothing but my fortune.
Know then that some of us are gentlemen,
And I from Mantua for a gentleman
And I, for such like petty crimes as these.
Indeed because you are a banished man,
What sayst thou? Wilt thou be of our consort?
But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest.
Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offered.
I take your offer, and will live with you,
No, we detest such vile base practices.
4.1.79 Exeunt.
Already have I been false to Valentine,
[Enter Turio with musicians.]
How now, sir Proteus, are you crept before us?
Ay, gentle Turio, for you know that love
Ay, but I hope, sir, that you love not here.
Sir, but I do, or else I would be hence.
Who, Silvia?
Ay, Silvia, for your sake.
I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen,
4.2.29[Enter Host and Julia dressed in boys clothes, as Sebastian.]
Now, my young guest, methinks you're allycholy; 1650I pray you why is it?
Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry.
Come, we'll have you merry. I'll bring you where 1653you shall hear music and see the gentleman that 1654you asked for.
But shall I hear him speak?
Ay, that you shall.
That will be music.
4.2.36[Music sounds.]
Hark, hark!
Is he among these?
Ay, but peace, let's hear'm.
4.2.41Singers
Who is Silvia? What is she?
You mistake: the musician likes me not.
Why, my pretty youth?
He plays false, father.
How, out of tune on the strings?
Not so, but yet 1683so false that he grieves my very heartstrings.
You have a quick ear.
Ay, I would I were deaf; it makes me have a slow heart.
I perceive you delight not in music.
Not a whit when it jars so.
Hark, what fine change is in the music.
Ay, that change is the spite.
You would have them always play but one thing.
I would always have one play but one thing.
I tell you what Lance his man told me: 1695he loved her out of all nick.
Where is Lance?
Gone to seek his dog, which tomorrow, by his 1698master's command, he must carry for a present to his 1699lady.
Peace. Stand aside, the company parts.
Sir Turio, fear not you. I will so plead 1702that you shall say my cunning drift excels.
Where meet we?
At Saint Gregory's well.
Farewell.
[Exit Turio and musicians.]
4.2.81[Enter Silvia, above.]
Madam, good even to your ladyship.
I thank you for your music, gentlemen.
One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth,
Sir Proteus, as I take it.
Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant.
What's your will?
That I may compass yours.
You have your wish. My will is even this:
I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady,
[Aside.]
'Twere false, if I should speak it,
Say that she be, yet Valentine thy friend
I likewise hear that Valentine is dead.
And so suppose am I, for in his grave
Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.
Go to thy lady's grave and call hers thence,
[Aside.] He heard not that.
Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,
[Aside.] If 'twere a substance you would sure deceive it,
I am very loath to be your idol, sir;
[Exit Silvia.]
As wretches have o'er night
[Exit Proteus.]
Host, will you go?
By my halidom, I was fast asleep.
Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?
Marry, at my house. 1762Trust me, I think 'tis almost day.
[Exeunt.]
This is the hour that Madam Silvia
4.3.7[Enter Silvia above.]
Who calls?
Your servant and your friend;
Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow.
As many, worthy lady, to your self.
O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman -
Madam, I pity much your grievances,
1810When will you go?
This evening coming.
Where shall I meet you?
Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.
4.3.54 Exeunt.
When a man's servant shall play the cur with 1821him, look you, it goes hard - one that I brought up of 1822a puppy; one that I saved from drowning when three or 1823four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have 1824taught him, even as one would say precisely, "Thus I 1825would teach a dog." I was sent to deliver him as a pre1826sent to Mistress Silvia from my master, and I came no 1827sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to her 1828trencher and steals her capon's leg. Oh, 'tis a foul 1829thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all compa1830nies. I would have, as one should say, one that takes up1831on him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all 1832things. If I had not had more wit then he, to take a fault 1833upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged 1834for't. Sure as I live, he had suffered for't. You shall judge: 1835he thrusts me himself into the company of three or 1836four gentleman-like-dogs under the Duke's table. He 1837had not been there, bless the mark, a pissing while, but 1838all the chamber smelt him. "Out with the dog!" says one. 1839"What cur is that?" says another. "Whip him out!" says the 1840third. "Hang him up!" says the Duke. I, having been ac1841quainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and 1842goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. "Friend," 1843quoth I, "You mean to whip the dog?" "Ay, marry do I," 1844quoth he. "You do him the more wrong," quoth I. "'Twas 1845I did the thing you wot of." He makes me no more ado, 1846but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters 1847would do this for his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn I have 1848sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise 1849he had been executed; I have stood on the pillory for 1850geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't. [To Crab.] Thou1851 think'st not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you 1852served me when I took my leave of Madam Silvia. Did 1853not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When did'st 1854thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a 1855gentlewoman's farthingale? Did'st thou ever see me do 1856such a trick?
4.4.4[Enter Proteus, and Julia as Sebastian.]
Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well
In what you please; I'll do what I can.
I hope thou wilt.
[To Lance.] How now, you whoreson peasant,
Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you 1864bad me.
And what says she to my little jewel?
Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you 1867currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
But she received my dog?
No, indeed, did she not. 1870Here have I brought him back again.
What, didst thou offer her this from me?
4.4.18Ay, Sir, the other squirrel was stolen from me 1873by the hangman's boys in the market place, 1874and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog 1875as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
Go, get thee hence and find my dog again,
[Exit Lance with Crab.]
It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
Not so; I think she lives.
Alas.
Why dost thou cry "Alas"?
I cannot choose but pity her.
Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?
Because methinks that she loved you as well
Well, give her that ring, and therewithal
[Exit Proteus.]
How many women would do such a message?
4.4.70 [Enter Silvia, with Ursula.]
1927Gentlewoman, good day. I pray you, be my mean
What would you with her, if that I be she?
If you be she, I do entreat your patience
From whom?
From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.
Oh. He sends you for a picture?
Ay, madam.
Ursula, bring my picture there.
4.4.80[Ursula brings the picture.]
Madam, please you peruse this letter.
4.4.85 [Gives a letter to Silvia.]
4.4.89 [Takes back the letter and gives another one to Silvia.]
I pray thee let me look on that again.
It may not be. Good madam, pardon me.
There, hold. [Tries to return letter, which Julia refuses.]
Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.
The more shame for him that he sends it me,
She thanks you.
What say'st thou?
I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Dost thou know her?
Almost as well as I do know myself.
Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her?
I think she doth, and that's her cause of sorrow.
Is she not passing fair?
She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.
How tall was she?
About my stature, for at Pentecost,
She is beholden to thee, gentle youth.
[Exit Silvia and attendants.]
And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
[To picture.] O, thou senseless form,
4.4.170Exit.
The sun begins to gild the western sky,
[Enter Silvia.]
Amen, Amen. Go on, good Eglamour.
Fear not. The forest is not three leagues off.
5.1.15Exeunt.
Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit?
Oh, sir, I find her milder then she was,
What? That my leg is too long?
No, that it is too little.
I'll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.
[Aside.] But love will not be spurred to what it loathes.
What says she to my face?
She says it is a fair one.
Nay, then the wanton lies: my face is black.
But pearls are fair, and the old saying is,
'Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies' eyes,
How likes she my discourse?
Ill, when you talk of war.
But well, when I discourse of love and peace.
[Aside.] But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.
What says she to my valor?
Oh, sir, she makes no doubt of that.
[Aside.] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.
What says she to my birth?
That you are well derived.
[Aside.] True: from a gentleman to a fool.
Considers she my possessions?
Oh, ay, and pities them.
Wherefore?
[Aside.] That such an ass should owe them.
That they are out by lease.
Here comes the Duke.
[Enter Duke.]
How now, sir Proteus; how now, Turio.
Not I.
Nor I.
Saw you my daughter?
Neither.
Why then,
[Exit Duke.]
Why, this it is to be a peevish girl
[Exit Turio.]
And I will follow, more for Silvia's love
[Exit Proteus.]
And I will follow, more to crosse that love
5.2.62[Exit Julia.]
Come, come be patient. 2102We must bring you to our captain.
A thousand more mischances than this one
Come, bring her away.
Where is the Gentleman that was with her?
Being nimble footed, he hath outrun us;
[Exit Second and Third Outlaws.]
Come, I must bring you to our captain's cave.
O Valentine, this I endure for thee.
How use doth breed a habit in a man!
[Shouts within.]
5.4.22 [Enter Silvia, Proteus, and Julia as Sebastian.]
Madam, this service I have done for you,
[Aside.] How like a dream is this? I see and hear.
Oh miserable, unhappy that I am.
Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came,
By thy approach thou mak'st me most unhappy.
[Aside.] And me, when he approacheth to your presence.
Had I been seized by a hungry lion,
What dangerous action, stood it next to death,
When Proteus cannot love where he's beloved.
In love,
All men but Proteus.
Nay, if the gentle spirit of moving words
[coming forward] Ruffian! Let go that rude uncivil touch,
Valentine.
Thou common friend, that's without faith or love,
Then I am paid,
Oh me unhappy! [Faints.]
Look to the boy.
Why, boy?
O good sir, my master charged me to deliver a ring 2213to Madam Silvia, which out of my neglect was never done.
Where is that ring, boy?
Here 'tis. This is it. [Gives him a ring.]
How? Let me see.
Oh, cry you mercy sir, I have mistook.
[Offers another ring.]
But how cam'st thou by this ring? At my depart
And Julia herself did give it me.
[Reveals herself.]
How? Julia?
Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths,
Than men their minds? Tis true. Oh heaven! Were man
Come, come, a hand from either.
Bear witness, heaven, I have my wish for ever.
And I mine.
5.4.129[Enter the Duke, Turio, and Outlaws.]
A prize! A prize! a prize!
Forbear, forbear I say. It is my lord the Duke.
Sir Valentine?
Yonder is Silvia, and Silvia's mine.
Turio, give back, or else embrace thy death.
Sir Valentine, I care not for her, I.
The more degenerate and base art thou
I thank your grace. The gift hath made me happy.
I grant it for thine own, what ere it be.
These banished men, that I have kept withal,
Thou hast prevailed. I pardon them and thee.
And as we walk along, I dare be bold
I think the boy hath grace in him; he blushes.
I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy.
What mean you by that saying?
Please you, I'll tell you as we pass along,
5.4.184 Exeunt.