1848[3.2]
Enter Hamlet, and two or three of the Players.
1849Hamlet
Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced 1850it to you, trippingly on the tongue; but if you mouth it, 1851as many of your players do, I had as lief the town crier 1852had spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much--1853 your hand thus--but use all gently; for in the very 1854torrent, tempest, and, as I may say, the whirlwind of 1855passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that 1856may give it smoothness. Oh, it offends me to the soul 1857to see a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a 1858passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the 1859groundlings, who, for the most part, are capable of 1860nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and noise. I could 1861have such a fellow whipped for o'erdoing Termagant. It 1862out-Herods Herod. Pray you avoid it.
1863Player
I warrant your honor.
1864Hamlet
Be not too tame, neither, but let your own 1865discretion be your tutor. Suit the action to the word, 1866the word to the action, with this special observance: 1867that you o'erstep not the modesty of nature. For 1868anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing, whose 1869end, both at the first and now, was and is to hold as 'twere 1870the mirror up to nature, to show virtue her own 1871feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and 1872body of the time his form and pressure. Now, this 1873overdone, or come tardy off, though it make the 1874unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve, the 1875censure of the which one must in your allowance 1876o'erweigh a whole theater of others. Oh, there be players 1877that I have seen play, and heard others praise, and that 1878highly, not to speak it profanely, that, neither having 1879the accent of Christians nor the gait of Christian, pagan, 1880or Norman, have so strutted and bellowed that I have 1881thought some of nature's journeymen had made men, 1882and not made them well, they imitated humanity so 1883abhominably.
1884Player
I hope we have reformed that indifferently with 1885us, sir.
1886Hamlet
Oh, reform it altogether. And let those that 1887play your clowns speak no more than is set down for 1888them; for there be of them that will themselves laugh, 1889to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh 1890too, though in the meantime some necessary question 1891of the play be then to be considered. That's villainous, and 1892shows a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses 1893 it. Go make you ready.
5.1Exeunt Players.
1895[To Polonius]How now, my lord,
1896will the King hear this piece of work?
1897Polonius
And the Queen too, and that presently.
1898Hamlet
Bid the players make haste.
8.1Exit Polonius.
1899Will you two help to hasten them?
1900Both
We will, my lord.
9.1Exeunt [Rosencrantz and Guildenstern].
1902Hamlet
What ho, Horatio!
1903Horatio
Here, sweet lord, at your service.
1904Hamlet
Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man
1905As e'er my conversation coped withal.
1906Horatio
Oh, my dear lord--
1907Hamlet
Nay, do not think I flatter,
1908For what advancement may I hope from thee
1909That no revenue hast but thy good spirits
1910To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flattered?
1911No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp
1912And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
1913Where thrift may follow feigning. Dost thou hear?
1914Since my dear soul was mistress of my choice
1915And could of men distinguish, her election
1916Hath sealed thee for herself. For thou hast been
1917As one in suffering all that suffers nothing,
1918A man that Fortune's buffets and rewards
1919Hath ta'en with equal thanks. And blest are those
1920Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled
1921That they are not a pipe for Fortune's finger
1922To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
1923That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him
1924In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart,
1925As I do thee.--Something too much of this.--
1926There is a play tonight before the King.
1927One scene of it comes near the circumstance
1928Which I have told thee, of my father's death.
1929I prithee, when thou see'st that act afoot,
1930Even with the very comment of my soul
1931Observe mine uncle. If his occulted guilt
1932Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
1933It is a damnèd ghost that we have seen,
1934And my imaginations are as foul
1935As Vulcan's stithy. Give him needful note,
1936For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
1937And after we will both our judgments join
1938To censure of his seeming.
1939Horatio
Well, my lord,
1940If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing
1941And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.
46.11942Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, 1943Guildenstern, and other Lords attendant, with 1944his Guard carrying torches. Danish 1945march. Sound a flourish.
1946Hamlet
They are coming to the play. I must be idle. 1947Get you a place.
1948King
How fares our cousin Hamlet?
1949Hamlet
Excellent, i'faith, of the chameleon's dish; I eat 1950the air, promise-crammed. You cannot feed capons so.
1951King
I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet. These 1952words are not mine.
1953Hamlet
No, nor mine. [To Polonius] Now, my lord, you played once 1954i'th' university, you say?
1955Polonius
That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good 1956actor
1957Hamlet
And what did you enact?
1958Polonius
I did enact Julius Caesar. I was killed i'th' Capitol. 1959Brutus killed me.
1960Hamlet
It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a1961calf there.--Be the players ready?
1962Rosencrantz
Ay, my lord, they stay upon your patience.
1963Queen
Come hither, my good Hamlet, sit by me.
1964Hamlet
No, good mother, here's mettle more attractive.
Oho, do you mark that?
1967Ophelia
No, my lord.
1968Hamlet
I mean, my head upon your lap.
1969Ophelia
Ay, my lord.
1970Hamlet
Do you think I meant country matters?
1971Ophelia
I think nothing, my lord.
1972Hamlet
That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
1973Ophelia
What is, my lord?
1974Hamlet
Nothing.
1975Ophelia
You are merry, my lord.
1976Hamlet
Who, I?
1977Ophelia
Ay, my lord.
1978Hamlet
Oh, God, your only jig-maker. What should 1979a man do but be merry? For look you how 1980cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died within's two 1981hours.
1982Ophelia
Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.
1983Hamlet
So long? Nay, then, let the devil wear black, 1984for I'll have suit of sables. Oh, heavens! Die two 1985months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there's hope a 1986great man's memory may outlive his life half a year. 1987But, by'r Lady, he must build churches then, or else shall 1988he suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose 1989epitaph is, "For oh, for oh, the hobby-horse is forgot."
74.11990Hautboys play. The dumb-show enters. 1991Enter [Players as] a King and Queen very lovingly; the Queen 1992embracing him. She kneels and makes show of protestation unto 1993him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck. 1994Lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She, seeing him 1995asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his 1996crown, kisses it, pours poison in the King's ears, and 1997exits. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and 1998makes passionate action. The Poisoner, with some two or 1999three mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. 2000The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner woos the 2001Queen with gifts. She seems loath and unwilling awhile, 2002but in the end accepts his love.
74.2Exeunt [Players].
2003Ophelia
What means this, my lord?
2004Hamlet
Marry, this is miching mallico. That means 2005mischief.
2006Ophelia
Belike this show imports the argument of the 2007play?
2008Hamlet
We shall know by these fellows. The players 2009cannot keep counsel; they'll tell all.
2010Ophelia
Will they tell us what this show meant?
2011Hamlet
Ay, or any show that you'll show him. Be not 2012you ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it 2013means.
2014Ophelia
You are naught, you are naught. I'll mark the 2015play.
2017[Prologue]
For us and for our tragedy,
2018Here stooping to your clemency,
2019We beg your hearing patiently.
84.1[Exit.]
2020Hamlet
Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?
2021Ophelia
'Tis brief, my lord.
2022Hamlet
As woman's love.
2023Enter [two Players as] King and his Queen [Baptista].
2024King
Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round
2025Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbèd ground,
2026And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen
2027About the world have times twelve thirties been
2028Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
2029Unite commutual in most sacred bands.
2030Baptista
So many journeys may the sun and moon
2031Make us again count o'er, ere love be done!
2032But woe is me, you are so sick of late,
2033So far from cheer and from your former state,
2034That I distrust you. Yet though I distrust,
2035Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must.
2036For women's fear and love hold quantity;
2037In neither aught, or in extremity.
2038Now what my love is, proof hath made you know,
2039And as my love is sized, my fear is so.
2040King
Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too;
2041My operant powers my functions leave to do.
2042And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
2043Honored, beloved; and haply one as kind
2044For husband shalt thou--
2045Baptista
Oh, confound the rest!
2046Such love must needs be treason in my breast.
2047In second husband let me be accurst!
2048None wed the second but who killed the first.
2049Hamlet
Wormwood, wormwood.
2050Baptista
The instances that second marriage move
2051Are base respects of thrift, but none of love.
2052A second time I kill my husband dead
2053When second husband kisses me in bed.
2054King
I do believe you think what now you speak,
2055But what we do determine, oft we break.
2056Purpose is but the slave to memory,
2057Of violent birth, but poor validity,
2058Which now like fruit unripe sticks on the tree,
2059But fall unshaken when they mellow be.
2060Most necessary 'tis that we forget
2061To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt.
2062What to ourselves in passion we propose,
2063The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
2064The violence of either grief or joy
2065Their own enactors with themselves destroy.
2066Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament;
2067Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
2068This world is not for aye, nor 'tis not strange
2069That even our loves should with our fortunes change;
2070For 'tis a question left us yet to prove
2071Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
2072The great man down, you mark his favorites flies;
2073The poor advanced makes friends of enemies;
2074And hitherto doth love on fortune tend,
2075For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
2076And who in want a hollow friend doth try
2077Directly seasons him his enemy.
2078But orderly to end where I begun,
2079Our wills and fates do so contrary run
2080That our devices still are overthrown;
2081Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.
2082So, think thou wilt no second husband wed,
2083But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.
2084Baptista
Nor earth to give me food, nor heaven light,
2085Sport and repose lock from me day and night,
2086Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
2087Meet what I would have well, and it destroy!
2088Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife,
2089If once a widow, ever I be wife!
2090Hamlet
If she should break it now!
2091King
'Tis deeply sworn.2092Sweet, leave me here awhile.
2093My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
2094The tedious day with sleep.
2095Baptista
Sleep rock thy brain,
[King] sleeps.
2096And never come mischance between us twain!
Exit [Player Queen].
2097Hamlet
Madam, how like you this play?
2098Queen
The lady protests too much, methinks.
2099Hamlet
Oh, but she'll keep her word.
2100King
Have you heard the argument? Is there no 2101offense in't?
2102Hamlet
No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest, no 2103offense i'th' world.
2104King
What do you call the play?
2105Hamlet
The Mousetrap. Marry, how? Tropically. 2106This play is the image of a murder done in Vienna. 2107Gonzago is the Duke's name, his wife Baptista. You shall see 2108anon. 'Tis a knavish piece of work, but what o' that? 2109Your majesty and we that have free souls, it touches 2110us not. Let the galled jade winch; our withers are unwrung.
2111Enter Lucianus.
2112This is one Lucianus, nephew to the King.
2113Ophelia
You are a good chorus, my lord.
2114Hamlet
I could interpret between you and your love, 2115if I could see the puppets dallying.
2116Ophelia
You are keen, my lord, you are keen.
2117Hamlet
It would cost you a groaning to take off my 2118edge.
2119Ophelia
Still better and worse.
2120Hamlet
So you mistake husbands.-- 2121Begin, murderer. Pox, leave thy damnable faces and 2122begin. Come, the croaking raven doth bellow for 2123revenge.
2124Lucianus
Thoughts black, hands apt, 2125drugs fit, and time agreeing,
2126Confederate season, else no creature seeing,
2127Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
2128With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
2129Thy natural magic and dire property
2130On wholesome life usurp immediately.
2132Hamlet
He poisons him i'th' garden for's estate. His 2133name's Gonzago. The story is extant, and writ in choice 2134Italian. You shall see anon how the murderer gets the 2135love of Gonzago's wife.
2136Ophelia
The King rises.
2137Hamlet
What, frighted with false fire?
2138Queen
How fares my lord?
2139Polonius
Give o'er the play.
2140King
Give me some light. Away!
2141All
Lights, lights, lights!
2143Hamlet
"Why, let the strucken deer go weep,
2144The heart ungallèd play,
2145For some must watch while some must sleep;
2146So runs the world away."
2147Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers--if the rest of 2148my fortunes turn Turk with me--with two provincial 2149roses on my razed shoes, get me a fellowship in a cry 2150of players, sir?
2151Horatio
Half a share.
2152Hamlet
A whole one, I.
2153For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
2154This realm dismantled was of Jove himself,
2155And now reigns here
2156A very, very pajock.
2157Horatio
You might have rhymed.
2158Hamlet
O good Horatio, I'll take the Ghost's word for 2159a thousand pound. Didst perceive?
2160Horatio
Very well, my lord.
2161Hamlet
Upon the talk of the poisoning?
2162Horatio
I did very well note him.
2164Hamlet
Oh, ha! Come, some music! Come, the recorders.
2165For if the King like not the comedy,
2166Why, then belike he likes it not, perdie.
2167Come, some music.
2168Guildenstern
Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.
2169Hamlet
Sir a whole history.
2170Guildenstern
The King, sir--
2171Hamlet
Ay, sir, what of him?
2172Guildenstern
Is in his retirement, marvelous distempered.
2173Hamlet
With drink, sir?
2174Guildenstern
No, my lord, rather with choler.
2175Hamlet
Your wisdom should show itself more 2176richer to signify this to his doctor, for, for me to put him 2177to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far 2178more choler.
2179Guildenstern
Good my lord, put your discourse into some 2180frame, and start not so wildly from my affair.
2181Hamlet
I am tame sir. Pronounce.
2182Guildenstern
The Queen your mother, in most great 2183affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you.
2184Hamlet
You are welcome.
2185Guildenstern
Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of 2186the right breed. If it shall please you to make me a 2187wholesome answer, I will do your mother's commandment. 2188If not, your pardon and my return shall be the end of 2189my business.
2190Hamlet
Sir, I cannot.
2191Guildenstern
What, my lord?
2192Hamlet
Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's 2193diseased. But, sir, such answers as I can make, you shall 2194command, or rather, you say, my mother. Therefore no more 2195but to the matter. My mother, you say.
2196Rosencrantz
Then thus she says: your behavior hath struck 2197her into amazement and admiration.
2198Hamlet
Oh, wonderful son, that can so astonish a 2199mother! But is there no sequel at the heels of this 2201mother's admiration?
Rosencrantz
She desires to speak with you in her closet 2202ere you go to bed.
2203Hamlet
We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. 2204Have you any further trade with us?
2205Rosencrantz
My lord, you once did love me.
2206Hamlet
So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.
2207Rosencrantz
Good my lord, what is your cause of 2208distemper? You do freely bar the door of your own 2209liberty if you deny your griefs to your friend.
2210Hamlet
Sir, I lack advancement.
2211Rosencrantz
How can that be, when you have the voice of 2212the King himself for your succession in Denmark?
2213Hamlet
Ay, but "while the grass grows"-- the proverb is 2214something musty.
2216Oh, the recorder. Let me see. [He takes the recorder.] To withdraw with you, why 2217do you go about to recover the wind of me, as if you 2218would drive me into a toil?
2219Guildenstern
Oh, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love 2220is too unmannerly.
2221Hamlet
I do not well understand that. Will you play 2222upon this pipe?
2223Guildenstern
My lord, I cannot.
2224Hamlet
I pray you.
2225Guildenstern
Believe me, I cannot.
2226Hamlet
I do beseech you.
2227Guildenstern
I know no touch of it, my lord.
2228Hamlet
'Tis as easy as lying. Govern these ventages 2229with your finger and thumb, give it breath with your 2230mouth, and it will discourse most excellent music. 2231Look you, these are the stops.
2232Guildenstern
But these cannot I command to any utterance 2233of harmony. I have not the skill.
2234Hamlet
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing 2235you make of me! You would play upon me, you would 2236seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart 2237of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest 2238note to the top of my compass, and there is much 2239music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot 2240you make it. Why, do you think that I am easier to be 2241played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, 2242though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me. [To Polonius, as he enters]God 2243bless you, sir.
2245Polonius
My lord, the Queen would speak with you, 2246and presently.
2247Hamlet
Do you see that cloud? That's almost in shape 2248like a camel.
2249Polonius
By th' mass, and it's like a camel indeed.
2250Hamlet
Methinks it is like a weasel.
2251Polonius
It is backed like a weasel.
2252Hamlet
Or like a whale?
2253Polonius
Very like a whale.
2254Hamlet
Then will I come to my mother by and by. 2255[Aside] They fool me to the top of my bent.
2256[Aloud] I will come by and by.
2257Polonius
I will say so.
250.1Exit.
2258"By and by" is easily said.--Leave me, friends.
251.1[Exeunt all but Hamlet.]
2259'Tis now the very witching time of night,
2260When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out
2261Contagion to this world. Now could I drink hot blood,
2262And do such bitter business as the day
2263Would quake to look on. Soft now, to my mother.
2264O heart, loose not thy nature! Let not ever
2265The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom.
2266Let me be cruel, not unnatural;
2267I will speak daggers to her, but use none.
2268My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites:
2269How in my words somever she be shent,
2270To give them seals, never my soul consent!
263.1[Exit.]