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  • Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

  • Copyright Internet Shakespeare Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-proift purposes; for all other uses contact the Coordinating Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

    The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
    Pist. Then did the Sun on dung-hill shine.
    355Ni. I thanke thee for that humour.
    Fal. O she did so course o're my exteriors with such
    a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did seeme
    to scorch me vp like a burning-glasse: here's another
    letter to her: She beares the Purse too: She is a Region
    360in Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to
    them both, and they shall be Exchequers to mee: they
    shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to
    them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Mistris Page;
    and thou this to Mistris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we
    365will thriue.
    Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
    And by my side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all.
    Ni. I will run no base humor: here take the humor-Letter;
    I will keepe the hauior of reputation.
    370Fal. Hold Sirha, beare you these Letters tightly,
    Saile like my Pinnasse to these golden shores.
    Rogues, hence, auaunt, vanish like haile-stones; goe,
    Trudge; plod away ith' hoofe: seeke shelter, packe:
    Falstaffe will learne the honor of the age,
    375French-thrift, you Rogues, my selfe, and skirted Page.
    Pist. Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, and
    Fullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich & poore,
    Tester ile haue in pouch when thou shalt lacke,
    Base Phrygian Turke.
    380Ni. I haue opperations,
    Which be humors of reuenge.
    Pist. Wilt thou reuenge?
    Ni. By Welkin, and her Star.
    Pist. With wit, or Steele?
    385Ni. With both the humors, I:
    I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford.
    Pist. And I to Page shall eke vnfold
    How Falstaffe (varlet vile)
    His Doue will proue; his gold will hold,
    390And his soft couch defile.
    Ni. My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford
    to deale with poyson: I will possesse him with yallow-
    nesse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous: that is my
    true humour.
    395Pist. Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I second
    thee: troope on. Exeunt.

    Scoena Quarta.

    Enter Mistris Quickly, Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor,
    Caius, Fenton.
    400Qu. What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Case-
    ment, and see if you can see my Master, Master Docter
    Caius comming: if he doe (I' faith) and finde any body
    in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods pati-
    ence, and the Kings English.
    405Ru. Ile goe watch.
    Qu. Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night,
    (in faith) at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire: An honest,
    willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house
    withall: and I warrant you, no tel-tale, nor no breede-
    410bate: his worst fault is, that he is giuen to prayer; hee is
    something peeuish that way: but no body but has his
    fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your
    name is?
    Si. I: for fault of a better.
    415Qu. And Master Slender's your Master?
    Si. I forsooth.
    Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a
    Glouers pairing-knife?
    Si. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee-face; with
    420a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.
    Qu. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
    Si. I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as
    any is betweene this and his head: he hath fought with
    a Warrener.
    425Qu. How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's
    he not hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?
    Si. Yes indeede do's he.
    Qu. Well, heauen send Anne Page, no worse fortune:
    Tell Master Parson Euans, I will doe what I can for your
    430Master: Anne is a good girle, and I wish ---
    Ru. Out alas: here comes my Master.
    Qu. We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young
    man: goe into this Closset: he will not stay long: what
    Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what Iohn I say? goe Iohn, goe en-
    435quire for my Master, I doubt he be not well, that hee
    comes not home: (and downe, downe, adowne'a. &c.
    Ca. Vat is you sing? I doe not like des-toyes: pray
    you goe and vetch me in my Closset, vnboyteene verd ;
    a Box, a greene-a-Box: do intend vat I speake? a greene-
    Qu. I forsooth ile fetch it you:
    I am glad hee went not in himselfe: if he had found the
    yong man he would haue bin horne-mad.
    Ca. Fe, fe, fe, fe,
    445Court la grand affaires.
    Qu. Is it this Sir?
    Ca. Ouy mette le au mon pocket, de-peech quickly: quickly:
    Vere is dat knaue Rugby?
    Qu. What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?
    450Ru. Here Sir.
    Ca. You are Iohn Rugby, aad you are Iacke Rugby:
    Come, take-a-your Rapier, and come after my heele to
    the Court.
    Ru. 'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch.
    455Ca. By my trot: I tarry too long: od's-me: que ay ie
    oublie: dere is some Simples in my Closset, dat I vill not
    for the varld I shall leaue behinde.
    Qu. Ay-me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be mad.
    Ca. O Diable, Diable: vat is in my Closset?
    460Villanie, La-roone : Rugby, my Rapier.
    Qu. Good Master be content.
    Ca. Wherefore shall I be content-a?
    Qu. The yong man is an honest man.
    Ca. What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dere
    465is no honest man dat shall come in my Closset.
    Qu. I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the
    truth of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parson
    Ca. Vell.
    470Si. I forsooth: to desire her to ---
    Qu. Peace, I pray you.
    Ca. Peace-a-your tongue: speake-a-your Tale.
    Si. To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid)
    to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page, for my Ma-
    475ster in the way of Marriage.
    Qu. This is all indeede-la: but ile nere put my finger
    in the fire, and neede not.
    Ca. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, ballow mee some
    paper: tarry you a littell-a-while.
    Qu. I