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  • Title: The Puritan (Folio 3, 1664)

  • Copyright Digital Renaissance Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Authors: Thomas Middleton, William Shakespeare
    Not Peer Reviewed

    The Puritan (Folio 3, 1664)

    The Puritan Widow.
    a'th'chamber, go toward him, do what you will with him,
    2005he shall nere find you.
    Edm. Say you so, I'le try that ifaith,---
    Justles him.
    Pye. Hoe now, Captain? whose that justled me?
    Cap. Justled you? I saw no body.
    Edm. Ha, ha, ha,--------say 'twas a spirit.
    2010Cap. Shall I?---may be some spirit that haunt the circle.
    Pye. O my nose, agen, pray conjure then Captain.
    Pulls him by the Nose.
    Edm. Troth this is exlent, I may do any knavery now
    and never be seen,--and now I remember me, Sir God-
    2015frey my Uncle abus'd me tother day, and told tales of me
    to my Mother---Troth now I'me invisible, I'le hit
    him a sound wherrit a'th'ear, when he comes out a'th'gar-
    den,---I may be reveng'd on him now finely.

    Enter Sir Godfrey, Widow, Frank, Nicho-
    las with the Chain.

    Sir Godf. I have my Chain again, my Chain's found
    Edmond strikes him.
    O sweet Captain, O admirable Conjurer.
    Oh, what mean you by that, Nephew?
    2025Edm. Nephew? I hope you do not know me, Uncle?
    Wid. Why did you strike your Uncle, Son?
    Edm. Why Captain, am I not invisible?
    Cap. A good jest, George,---not now you are not sir,
    Why did you not see me, when I did uncharme you?
    2030Edm. Not I, by my troth, Captain:
    Then pray you pardon me, Uncle,
    I thought I'de been invisible when I struck you.
    Sir Godf. So, you would do't? go,---y'are a foolish boy,
    And were I not ore-come with greater joy,
    2035I'de make you taste correction.
    Edm. Correction, push---no, neither you nor my
    Mother, shall think to whip me as you have done.
    Sir Godf. Captain, my joy is such, I know not how
    to thank you, let me embrace you, O my sweet Chain,
    2040gladnesse e'en makes me giddy, rare man: 'twas just i'th'
    Rosemary bank, as if one should ha laid it there,----oh
    cunning, cunning!
    Wid. Well, seeing my fortune tells me I must marry;
    let me marry a man of wit, a man of parts, here's a wor[-}
    2045thy Captain, and 'tis a fine Title truly la to be a Cap-
    tain's Wife, a Captain's Wife, it goes very finely, beside
    all the world knows that a worthy Captain, is a fit Com-
    panion to any Lord, then why not a sweet bed-fellow
    for any Lady,---I'le have it so--------

    Enter Frailty.
    Frail. O Mistris, Gentlemen, there's the bravest sight
    coming along this way.
    Wid. What brave sight?
    Frail. Oh, one going to burying, and another going
    2055to hanging.
    Wid. A ruefull sight.
    Pye. 'Sfoot Captain, I'le pawn my life the Corporal's
    coffin'd, and old Skirmish the souldier going to execution,
    and 'tis now about the time of his waking; hold out a
    2060little longer sleepy potion, and we shall have exlent ad-
    miration; for I'le take upon me the cure of him.

    Enter the Coffin of the Corporal, the souldier bound,
    and led by Officers, the Sheriff there,

    Frail. Oh here they come, here they come!
    2065Pye. Now must I close secretly with the Souldier,
    prevent his impatience, or else all's discovered.
    Wid. O lamentable seeing, these were those Brothers,
    that fought and bled before our door.
    Sir Godf. What they were not, Sister?
    2070Skirm. George, look to't, I'le peach at Tiburn else.
    Pye. Mum,---Gentles all, vouchsafe me audience, and
    you especially Master Sheriff:
    Yon man is bound to execution,
    Because he wounded this that now lies coffin'd?
    2075Sher. True, true, he shall have the law,---and I know
    the law.
    Pye. But under favour, Master Sheriff, if this man had
    been cured and safe agen, he should have been releas'd
    2080Sher. Why, make you question of that, Sir?
    Pye. Then I release him freely, and will take upon me
    the death that he should die, if within a little season, I do
    not cure him to his proper health again.
    Sher. How sir? recover a dead man?
    2085That were most strange of all.
    Frank comes to him.
    Frank. Sweet sir, I love you dearly, and could wish
    my best part yours,--oh do not undertake such an impos-
    sible venture.
    Pye. Love you me; then for your sweet sake I'le do't:
    2090Let me entreat the corps to be set down.
    Sher. Bearers set down the Coffin,---this is wonderfull,
    and worthy Stoes Chronicle.
    Pye. I pray bestow the freedome of the aire upon our
    wholsome Art,---Masse his cheeks begin to receive natu-
    2095ral warmth: nay good Corporal wake betime, or I shall
    have a longer sleep then you,--'Sfoot if he should prove
    dead indeed now, he were fully reveng'd upon me for
    making a property on him, yet I had rather run upon
    the Ropes, then have the Rope like a Tetter run upon me,
    2100oh---he stirs---he stirs agen---look Gentlemen, he reco-
    vers, he starts, he rises.
    Sher. Oh, oh, defend us---out alas.
    Pye. Nay pray be still; you'll make him more giddy
    else,--he knows no body yet.
    2105Cor. Zowns: where am I? cover'd with snow? I marvail?
    Pye. Nay, I knew he would swear the first thing he
    did, as soon as he came to life again.
    Corp. 'Sfoot Hostesse---some hot porridge,---oh, oh,
    lay on a dozen of Fagots in the Moon Parler, there.
    2110Pye. Lady, you must needs take a little pitty of him
    ifaith, and send him into your Kitchin fire.
    Wid. Oh, with all my heart sir, Nicholas and Frail-
    , help to bear him in.
    Nic. Bear him in, quatha, pray call out the Maids, I
    2115shall nere have the heart to do't indeed la.
    Frail. Nor I neither, I cannot abide to handle a Ghost
    of all men.
    Cor. 'Sloud, let me see, where was I drunk last night, hah
    Wid. Oh, shall I bid you once agen take him away.
    2120Frai. Why, we're as fearfull as you I warrant you--oh--
    Wid. Away villains, bid the maids make him a Caw-
    dle presently to settle his brain--or a posset of Sack,
    quickly, quickly.
    Exeunt, pushing in the corps.
    Sher. Sir, what so ere you are, I do more then admire
    Wid. O I, if you knew all, Master Sheriff, as you shall
    do, you would say then, that here were two of the rarest
    men within the walls of Christendome.
    Sher. Two of 'em, O wonderfull: Officers I discharge
    2130you, set him free, all's in tune.
    Sir Godf.