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  • Title: The Famous Victories of Henry V (Modern)
  • Editor: Mathew Martin

  • Copyright Queen's Men Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Anonymous
    Editor: Mathew Martin
    Peer Reviewed

    The Famous Victories of Henry V (Modern)

    [Scene 10]
    Enter a Captain, John Cobbler[,] and his Wife.
    Captain Come, come, there's no remedy. Thou must needs serve the king.
    990John Good Master Captain, let me go. I am not able to go so far.
    Wife I pray you, good Master Captain, be good to my husband.
    Captain Why, I am sure he is not too good to serve the king?
    995John Alas, no, but a great deal too bad. Therefore I pray you let me go.
    Captain No, no, thou shalt go.
    John Oh, sir, I have a great many shoes at home to cobble.
    1000Wife I pray you let him go home again.
    Captain Tush, I care not. Thou shalt go.
    John Oh, wife, an you had been a loving wife to me, this had not been, for I have said many times that I would go away, and now I must go 1005against my will.
    He weepeth. Enter Derrick [with a pot lid for a shield].
    Derrick How now! Ho, basillus manus, for an old codpiece! Master Captain, shall we away? 1010Zounds, how now, John, what, a-crying? What make you and my dame there? [To Wife] I marvel whose head you will throw the stools at now we are gone.
    Wife I'll tell you! Come, ye cloghead, 1015what do you with my pot lid? Hear you, will you have it rapped about your pate?
    She beateth him with her pot lid.
    Derrick Oh, good dame!Here he shakes her[.]An I had my dagger here, I would worry you all to pieces, 1020that I would.
    Wife Would you so? I'll try that.
    She beateth him.
    Derrick Master Captain, will ye suffer her? Go to, dame! I will go back as far as I can, 1025but, an you come again, I'll clap the law on your back, that's flat. I'll tell you, Master Captain, what you shall do. Press her for a soldier. I warrant you, she will do as much good as her husband and I too.
    Enter the Thief [Cutbert Cutter].
    Zounds, who comes yonder?
    Captain How now, good fellow. Dost thou want a master?
    Cutbert Cutter Ay, truly sir.
    Captain Hold thee, then. I press thee for a soldier 1035to serve the king in France.
    Derrick How now, Gads! What, dost know 's, thinkest?
    Cutbert Cutter Ay, I knew thee long ago.
    Derrick Hear you, Master Captain?
    Captain What say'st thou?
    1040Derrick I pray you let me go home again.
    Captain Why, what wouldst thou do at home?
    Derrick Marry, I have brought two shirts with me, and I would carry one of them home again, for I am sure he'll steal it from me, 1045he is such a filching fellow.
    Captain I warrant thee he will not steal it from thee. Come, let's away.
    Derrick Come, Master Captain, let's away. Come, follow me.
    1050John Come, wife, let's part lovingly.
    Wife Farewell, good husband.
    [They embrace tearfully.]
    Derrick Fie, what a kissing and crying is here! [To Wife] Zounds, do ye think he will never come again? [To John] Why, John, come away! Dost think that we are so base-1055minded to die among Frenchmen? Zounds, we know not whether they will lay us in their church or no. Come, Master Captain, let's away.
    Captain I cannot stay no longer, therefore come away.
    Exeunt omnes.