Not Peer Reviewed
- Edition: As You Like It
Everyman In His Humor (Modern)
- Introduction
- Texts of this edition
- Contextual materials
- Facsimiles
Oh, here it is. I am glad I have found it now.
I am within, sir. What's your pleasure?
To know who is within besides yourself.
Why, sir, you are no constable, I hope?
Oh, fear you the constable? Then I doubt not
I'God's name, sir!
Go to. Tell me, is not the young Lorenzo here?
Young Lorenzo? I saw none such, sir, of mine honesty.
Go to, your honesty flies too lightly from you.
The constable? The man is mad, I think.
Ho! Who keeps house here?
[Aside] Oh, this is the female copesmate of my son.
Knock, Piso, pray thee.
[Knocking] Ho, good wife!
[Within] Why, what's the matter with you?
Why, woman, grieves it you to ope your door?
What mean these questions, pray ye?
So strange you make it?
[Aside] Her husband?
I hope he needs not to be tried here.
No, dame, he doth it not for need, but pleasure.
Neither for need nor pleasure is he here.
[Aside] This is but a device to balk me withal. Soft, who's this?
Oh, sir, have I forestalled your honest market?
[Aside] She cannot counterfeit this palpably.
[To Bianca] Out on thee, more than strumpet's
Out! I defy thee, I, dissembling wretch!
Defy me, strumpet?
[He points to Piso.] Ask thy pander here.
Why, hear you, signor --
Tut, tut, never speak.
What lunacy is this that haunts this man?
Oh, sister, did you see my cloak?
Not I, I see none.
God's life, I have lost it, then. Saw you Hesperida?
Hesperida? Is she not at home?
No, she is gone abroad, and nobody can tell me of it at home.
Exit.
O heaven! Abroad? What, light? A harlot too?
Marry, with all my heart; I'll go willingly.
[To Thorello] Go with thee? I'll go with thee to thy shame, I warrant thee.
Why, what's the matter? What's here to do?
[Seeing Cob] What, Cob, art thou here? Oh, I am abused,
'Slid, in my house? Who wronged you in my house?
Marry, young-lust-in-old and old-in-young, here.
[To Tib] Do you hear? Did I not charge you keep 2236your doors shut here, and do you let them lie open for all comers? 2237(Cob beats his wife.) [She fights back.] Do you scratch?
Friend, have patience. If she have done wrong in this, let her answer it before the magistrate.
[To Tib] Ay, come, you shall go afore the Doctor.
Nay, I will go. I'll see an you may be allowed 2241to beat your poor wife thus at every cuckoldly knave's pleasure. The devil and 2242the pox take you all for me! Why do you not go now?
A bitter quean. Come, we'll have you tamed.
Exeunt.