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About this text

  • Title: As You Like It (Modern)
  • Editor: David Bevington
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-369-4

    Copyright David Bevington. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: David Bevington
    Peer Reviewed

    As You Like It (Modern)

    [5.1]
    2340Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
    Touchstone
    We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.
    Audrey
    Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying.
    2345Touchstone
    A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Mar-text. But Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
    Audrey
    Ay, I know who 'tis. He hath no interest in me in the world. Here comes the man you mean.
    2350Enter William.
    Touchstone
    It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
    William
    Good ev'n, Audrey.
    2355Audrey
    God ye good ev'n, William.
    William
    And good ev'n to you, sir.
    [He removes his hat.]
    Touchstone
    Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. Nay, prithee be covered. How old are you, friend?
    2360William
    Five-and-twenty, sir.
    Touchstone
    A ripe age. Is thy name William?
    William
    William, sir.
    Touchstone
    A fair name. Wast born i'th'forest here?
    William
    Ay, sir, I thank God.
    2365Touchstone
    "Thank God" -- a good answer. Art rich?
    William
    Faith, sir, so-so.
    Touchstone
    "So-so" is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so-so. 2370Art thou wise?
    William
    Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
    Touchstone
    Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying: "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." The heathen philosopher, 2375when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
    William
    I do, sir.
    2380Touchstone
    Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
    William
    No, sir.
    Touchstone
    Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the 2385other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he. Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
    William
    Which he, sir?
    Touchstone
    He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon -- which is in the vulgar "leave" -- the 2390society -- which in the boorish is "company" -- of this female -- which in the common is "woman"; which together is: abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into 2395death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction, I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.
    2400Audrey
    Do, good William.
    William
    God rest you merry, sir.
    Exit.
    Enter Corin.
    Corin
    Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away!
    2405Touchstone
    Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey! -- I attend, I attend.
    Exeunt.