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  • Title: As You Like It (Modern)
  • Editor: David Bevington
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-369-4

    Copyright David Bevington. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: David Bevington
    Peer Reviewed

    As You Like It (Modern)

    As You Like It
    1[1.1]
    Enter Orlando and Adam.
    Orlando
    As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion 5bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou say'st, charged my brother, on his blessing, to breed me well; and there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit. 10For my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you that "keeping" for a gentleman of my birth that differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are bred better, for, besides that they are fair with their feeding, 15they are taught their manège, and to that end riders dearly hired; but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth, for the which his animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the something that 20nature gave me his countenance seems to take from me. He lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think 25is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude. I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.
    Enter Oliver.
    Adam
    Yonder comes my master, your brother.
    30Orlando
    Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up.
    [Adam stands aside.]
    Oliver
    Now, sir, what make you here?
    Orlando
    Nothing. I am not taught to make anything.
    Oliver
    What mar you then, sir?
    35Orlando
    Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.
    Oliver
    Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.
    40Orlando
    Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks with them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should come to such penury?
    Oliver
    Know you where you are, sir?
    Orlando
    Oh, sir, very well: here in your orchard.
    45Oliver
    Know you before whom, sir?
    Orlando
    Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle condition of blood you should so know me. The courtesy of nations allows you my better in that you are the first 50born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us. I have as much of my father in me as you, albeit I confess your coming before me is nearer to his reverence.
    Oliver
    What, boy!
    [He strikes Orlando.]
    55Orlando
    Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
    [He seizes Oliver by the throat.]
    Oliver
    Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
    Orlando
    I am no villain. I am the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys. He was my father, and he is thrice a villain that says such a father begot villains. Wert thou 60not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so. Thou hast railed on thyself.
    Adam
    [Coming forward]
    Sweet masters, be patient! For your father's remembrance, be at accord.
    65Oliver
    [To Orlando]
    Let me go, I say.
    Orlando
    I will not, till I please. You shall hear me. My father charged you in his will to give me good education. You have trained me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentlemanlike qualities. The spirit 70of my father grows strong in me, and I will no longer endure it; therefore allow me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my father left me by testament. With that I will go buy my fortunes.
    [He releases Oliver.]
    75Oliver
    And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent? Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you; you shall have some part of your will. I pray you leave me.
    Orlando
    I will no further offend you than becomes me 80for my good.
    Oliver
    [To Adam]
    Get you with him, you old dog.
    Adam
    Is "old dog" my reward? Most true, I have lost my teeth in your service. God be with my old master! He would not have spoke such a word.
    Exeunt Orlando and Adam.
    85Oliver
    Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon me? I will physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand crowns neither. [Calling] Holla, Dennis!
    Enter Dennis.
    Dennis
    Calls Your Worship?
    90Oliver
    Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?
    Dennis
    So please you, he is here at the door and importunes access to you.
    Oliver
    Call him in.
    [Exit Dennis.]
    'Twill be a good way; and tomorrow 95the wrestling is.
    Enter Charles.
    Charles
    Good morrow to Your Worship.
    Oliver
    Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the new court?
    100Charles
    There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news: that is, the old Duke is banished by his younger brother the new Duke, and three or four loving lords have put themselves into voluntary exile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new Duke; 105therefore he gives them good leave to wander.
    Oliver
    Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, be banished with her father?
    Charles
    Oh, no; for the Duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together, 110that she would have followed her exile or have died to stay behind her. She is at the court, and no less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and never two ladies loved as they do.
    Oliver
    Where will the old Duke live?
    115Charles
    They say he is already in the Forest of Arden, and a many merry men with him; and there they live like the old Robin Hood of England. They say many young gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time carelessly, as they did in the golden world.
    120Oliver
    What, you wrestle tomorrow before the new Duke?
    Charles
    Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that your younger brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come 125in disguised against me to try a fall. Tomorrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he that escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him well. Your brother is but young and tender; and, for your love, I would be loath to foil him, as I must, for my own honor, if he 130come in. Therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you withal, that either you might stay him from his intendment, or brook such disgrace well as he shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own search and altogether against my will.
    135Oliver
    Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had myself notice of my brother's purpose herein, and have by underhand means labored to dissuade him from it; but he is resolute. I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest 140young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's good parts, a secret and villainous contriver against me his natural brother. Therefore use thy discretion. I had as lief thou didst break his neck as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if thou 145dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily grace himself on thee, he will practice against thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never leave thee till he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other; for, I assure thee, and almost with 150tears I speak it, there is not one so young and so villainous this day living. I speak but brotherly of him, but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and wonder.
    155Charles
    I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come tomorrow I'll give him his payment. If ever he go alone again, I'll never wrestle for prize more. And so, God keep Your Worship!
    Exit.
    Oliver
    Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this gamester. 160I hope I shall see an end of him; for my soul, yet I know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle, never schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much in the heart of the world, and especially of my 165own people, who best know him, that I am altogether misprized. But it shall not be so long; this wrestler shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle the boy thither, which now I'll go about.
    Exit.