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  • Title: Henry IV, Part 2 (Folio 1 1623)
  • Editor: Rosemary Gaby

  • Copyright Rosemary Gaby. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Rosemary Gaby
    Not Peer Reviewed

    Henry IV, Part 2 (Folio 1 1623)

    Enter Falstaffe and Colleuile.
    Falst. What's your Name, Sir? of what Condition are
    you? and of what place, I pray?
    Col. I am a Knight, Sir:
    And my Name is Colleuile of the Dale.
    2240Falst. Well then, Colleuile is your Name, a Knight is
    your Degree, and your Place, the Dale. Colleuile shall
    still be your Name, a Traytor your Degree, and the Dun-
    geon your Place, a place deepe enough: so shall you be
    still Colleuile of the Dale.
    2245Col. Are not you Sir Iohn Falstaffe?
    Falst. As good a man as he sir, who ere I am: doe yee
    yeelde sir, or shall I sweate for you? if I doe sweate, they
    are the drops of thy Louers, and they weep for thy death,
    therefore rowze vp Feare and Trembling, and do obser-
    2250uance to my mercy.
    Col. I thinke you are Sir Iohn Falstaffe, & in that thought
    yeeld me.
    Fal. I haue a whole Schoole of tongues in this belly of
    mine, and not a Tongue of them all, speakes anie other
    2255word but my name: and I had but a belly of any indiffe-
    rencie, I were simply the most actiue fellow in Europe:
    my wombe, my wombe, my wombe vndoes mee. Heere
    comes our Generall.
    Enter Prince Iohn, and Westmerland.
    2260Iohn. The heat is past, follow no farther now:
    Call in the Powers, good Cousin Westmerland.
    Now Falstaffe, where haue you beene all this while?
    When euery thing is ended, then you come.
    These tardie Tricks of yours will (on my life)
    2265One time, or other, breake some Gallowes back.
    Falst. I would bee sorry (my Lord) but it should bee
    thus: I neuer knew yet, but rebuke and checke was the
    reward of Valour. Doe you thinke me a Swallow, an Ar-
    row, or a Bullet? Haue I, in my poore and olde Motion,
    2270the expedition of Thought? I haue speeded hither with
    the very extremest ynch of possibilitie. I haue fowndred
    nine score and odde Postes: and heere (trauell-tainted
    as I am) haue, in my pure and immaculate Valour, taken
    Sir Iohn Colleuile of the Dale, a most furious Knight, and
    2275valorous Enemie: But what of that? hee saw mee, and
    yeelded: that I may iustly say with the hooke-nos'd
    fellow of Rome, I came, saw, and ouer-came.
    Iohn. It was more of his Courtesie, then your deser-
    2280Falst. I know not: heere hee is, and heere I yeeld
    him: and I beseech your Grace, let it be book'd, with
    the rest of this dayes deedes; or I sweare, I will haue it
    in a particular Ballad, with mine owne Picture on the top
    of it (Colleuile kissing my foot:) To the which course, if
    2285I be enforc'd, if you do not all shew like gilt two-pences
    to me; and I, in the cleare Skie of Fame, o're-shine you
    as much as the Full Moone doth the Cynders of the Ele-
    ment (which shew like Pinnes-heads to her) beleeue not
    the Word of the Noble: therefore let mee haue right,
    2290and let desert mount.
    Iohn. Thine's too heauie to mount.
    Falst. Let it shine then.
    Iohn. Thine's too thick to shine.
    Falst. Let it doe something (my good Lord) that may
    2295doe me good, and call it what you will.
    Iohn. Is thy Name Colleuile?
    Col. It is (my Lord.)
    Iohn. A famous Rebell art thou, Colleuile.
    Falst. And a famous true Subiect tooke him.
    2300Col. I am (my Lord) but as my Betters are,
    That led me hither: had they beene rul'd by me,
    You should haue wonne them dearer then you haue.
    Falst. I know not how they sold themselues, but thou
    like a kinde fellow, gau'st thy selfe away; and I thanke
    2305thee, for thee.
    Enter Westmerland.
    Iohn. Haue you left pursuit?
    West. Retreat is made, and Execution stay'd.
    Iohn. Send Colleuile, with his Confederates,
    2310To Yorke, to present Execution.
    Blunt, leade him hence, and see you guard him sure.
    Exit with Colleuile.
    And now dispatch we toward the Court (my Lords)
    I heare the King, my Father, is sore sicke.
    2315Our Newes shall goe before vs, to his Maiestie,
    Which (Cousin) you shall beare, to comfort him:
    And wee with sober speede will follow you.
    Falst. My Lord, I beseech you, giue me leaue to goe
    through Gloucestershire: and when you come to Court,
    2320stand my good Lord, 'pray, in your good report.
    Iohn. Fare you well, Falstaffe: I, in my condition,
    Shall better speake of you, then you deserue.
    Falst. I would you had but the wit: 'twere better
    then your Dukedome. Good faith, this same young so-
    2325ber-blooded Boy doth not loue me, nor a man cannot
    make him laugh: but that's no maruaile, hee drinkes no
    Wine. There's neuer any of these demure Boyes come
    to any proofe: for thinne Drinke doth so ouer-coole
    their blood, and making many Fish-Meales, that they
    2330fall into a kinde of Male Greene-sicknesse: and then,
    when they marry, they get Wenches. They are generally
    Fooles, and Cowards; which some of vs should be too,
    but for inflamation. A good Sherris-Sack hath a two-
    fold operation in it: it ascends me into the Braine, dryes
    2335me there all the foolish, and dull, and cruddie Vapours,
    which enuiron it: makes it apprehensiue, quicke, forge-
    tiue, full of nimble, fierie, and delectable shapes; which
    deliuer'd o're to the Voyce, the Tongue, which is the
    Birth, becomes excellent Wit. The second propertie of
    2340your excellent Sherris, is, the warming of the Blood:
    which before (cold, and setled) left the Liuer white, and
    pale; which is the Badge of Pusillanimitie, and Cowar-
    dize: but the Sherris warmes it, and makes it course
    from the inwards, to the parts extremes: it illuminateth
    2345the Face, which (as a Beacon) giues warning to all the
    rest of this little Kingdome (Man) to Arme: and then
    the Vitall Commoners, and in-land pettie Spirits, muster
    me all to their Captaine, the Heart; who great, and pufft
    vp with his Retinue, doth any Deed of Courage: and this
    2350Valour comes of Sherris. So, that skill in the Weapon
    is nothing, without Sack (for that sets it a-worke:) and
    Learning, a meere Hoord of Gold, kept by a Deuill, till
    Sack commences it, and sets it in act, and vse. Hereof
    comes it, that Prince Harry is valiant: for the cold blood
    2355hee did naturally inherite of his Father, hee hath, like
    leane, stirrill, and bare Land, manured, husbanded, and
    tyll'd, with excellent endeauour of drinking good, and
    good store of fertile Sherris, that hee is become very hot,
    and valiant. If I had a thousand Sonnes, the first Principle
    2360I would teach them, should be to forsweare thinne Pota-
    tions, and to addict themselues to Sack.
    Enter Bardolph.
    How now Bardolph?
    Bard. The Armie is discharged all, and gone.
    Falst. Let them goe: Ile through Gloucestershire,
    2365and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow, Esquire: I
    haue him alreadie tempering betweene my finger and my
    thombe, and shortly will I seale with him. Come away.