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  • Title: Henry IV, Part 1 (Modern)
  • Editor: Rosemary Gaby
  • ISBN: 978-1-55058-371-7

    Copyright Rosemary Gaby. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: William Shakespeare
    Editor: Rosemary Gaby
    Peer Reviewed

    Henry IV, Part 1 (Modern)

    [2.2]
    735Enter Prince, Poins, and Peto.
    Poins
    Come, shelter, shelter! I have removed Falstaff's horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.
    Prince
    Stand close.
    [Poins and Peto hide.]
    Enter Falstaff.
    740Falstaff
    Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
    Prince
    Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep!
    Falstaff
    Where's Poins, Hal?
    Prince
    He is walked up to the top of the hill. I'll go seek him.
    [He joins Poins and Peto]
    Falstaff
    I am accursed to rob in that thief's company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death, for all 750this if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue's company. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be hanged. It could 755not be else -- I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! A plague upon you both! Bardolph! Peto! I'll starve ere I'll rob a foot further. An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is 760threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!
    They whistle.
    Whew! A plague upon you all!
    [Prince, Poins and Peto come forward(?)]
    Give me my horse, you rogues; 765give me my horse, and be hanged!
    Prince
    Peace, ye fat-guts. Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travelers.
    Falstaff
    Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down? 770'Sblood, I'll not bear my own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?
    Prince
    Thou liest: thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.
    Falstaff
    I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good 775king's son.
    Prince
    Out, ye rogue, shall I be your ostler?
    Falstaff
    Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my 780poison. When a jest is so forward -- and afoot too -- I hate it.
    Enter Gadshill [and Bardolph(?)].
    Gadshill
    Stand!
    Falstaff
    So I do, against my will.
    785Poins
    Oh, 'tis our setter, I know his voice. Bardolph, what news?
    Bardolph
    Case ye, case ye, on with your vizards! There's money of the king's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the king's exchequer.
    790Falstaff
    You lie, ye rogue, 'tis going to the king's tavern.
    Gadshill
    There's enough to make us all.
    Falstaff
    To be hanged.
    Prince
    Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they scape from your 795encounter, then they light on us.
    Peto
    How many be there of them?
    Gadshill
    Some eight or ten.
    Falstaff
    Zounds, will they not rob us?
    Prince
    What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?
    800Falstaff
    Indeed I am not John of Gaunt your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.
    Prince
    Well, we leave that to the proof.
    Poins
    Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou need'st him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.
    Falstaff
    Now cannot I strike him if I should be hanged.
    Prince
    [Aside to Poins] Ned, where are our disguises?
    Poins
    [Aside to the prince] Here, hard by, stand close.
    [Exeunt Prince and Poins.]
    Falstaff
    Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I; every 810man to his business.
    Enter the travelers.
    [First Traveler]
    Come, neighbor, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill. We'll walk afoot a while, and ease their legs.
    815Thieves
    Stand!
    Traveler
    Jesus bless us!
    Falstaff
    Strike, down with them, cut the villains' throats. Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves! They hate us youth. Down with them, fleece them!
    820Traveler
    Oh, we are undone, both we and ours forever!
    Falstaff
    Hang, ye gorbellied knaves, are ye undone? No, ye fat chuffs, I would your store were here. On, bacons, on! What, ye knaves, young men must live. You are grand-jurors, are ye? We'll jure ye, faith.
    825Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt.
    Enter the prince and Poins.
    Prince
    The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest 830forever.
    Poins
    Stand close, I hear them coming.
    [They hide.]
    Enter the thieves again.
    Falstaff
    Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, 835there's no equity stirring. There's no more valor in that Poins than in a wild duck.
    As they are sharing the prince and Poins set upon them.
    Prince
    Your money.
    Poins
    Villains!
    They all run away, and Falstaff after a blow or two runs away840 too, leaving the booty behind them.
    Prince
    Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse. The thieves are all scattered and possessed with fear so strongly that they dare not meet each other. Each takes his fellow for an officer. Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death, and lards the lean earth 845as he walks along. Were't not for laughing, I should pity him.
    Poins
    How the fat rogue roared!
    Exeunt.