Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: W. L. Godshalk
Peer Reviewed

Troilus and Cressida (Quarto 1, 1609)

of Troylus and Cresseida.
605Growes dainty of his worth, and in his Tent
Lies mocking our designes: with him Patroclus
Vpon a lazie bed the liue-long day,
Breakes scurrell iests,
And with ridiculous and sillie action,
610Which (slanderer) he Imitation calls,
He pageants vs. Some-time great Agamemnon,
Thy toplesse deputation he puts on,
And like a strutting Player, whose conceit
Lyes in his ham-string, and doth thinke it rich
615To heere the woodden dialogue and sound,
Twixt his stretcht footing and the scoaffollage,
Such to be pitied and ore-rested seeming,
He acts thy greatnesse in. And when he speakes,
Tis like a chime a mending, with termes vnsquare,
620Which from the tongue of roaring Tiphon dropt,
Would seeme hiperboles, at this fustie stuffe,
The large Achilles on his prest bed lolling,
From his deepe chest laughes out a lowd applause,
Cries excellent; 'tis Agamemnon right,
625Now play me Nestor, hem and stroake thy beard,
As he being drest to some Oration,
That's done, as neere as the extremest ends
Of paralells, as like as Uulcan and his wife:
Yet god Achilles still cries excellent,
630Tis Nestor right: now play him me Patroclus,
Arming to answer in a night alarme,
And then forsooth the faint defects of age,
Must be the scæne of myrth, to coffe and spit,
And with a palsie fumbling on his gorget,
635Shake in and out the riuet, and at this sport
Sir valour dyes, cryes O enough Patroclus,
Or giue me ribbs of steele, I shall split all
In pleasure of my spleene, and in this fashion,
All our abilities, guifts, natures shapes,
640Seueralls and generalls of grace exact,
Atchiuements, plots, orders, preuentions,
Excitements to the field, or speech for truce,