Troilus and Cressida (Folio 1, 1623)
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¶
Enter Diomed.
2975Chal. Who cals?
¶Dio. Diomed, Chalcas (I thinke) wher's you Daughter?
¶Chal. She comes to you.
¶
Enter Troylus and Vlisses.
2980
Enter Cressid.
¶Dio. How now my charge?
¶Ther. And any man may finde her, if he can take her
¶life: she's noted.
¶Dio. Will you remember?
¶Cal. Remember? yes.
2990Dio. Nay, but doe then; and let your minde be cou-
¶pled with your words.
¶Cres. Sweete hony Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
2995Ther. Roguery.
¶Dio. Nay then.
¶Cres. Ile tell you what.
¶Cres. In faith I cannot: what would you haue me do?
¶Cres. I prethee do not hold me to mine oath,
¶Bid me doe not any thing but that sweete Greeke.
¶Dio. Good night.
3005Troy. Hold, patience.
¶Ulis. How now Troian?
¶Cres. Diomed.
¶Dio. No, no, good night: Ile be your foole no more.
3010Cres. Harke one word in your eare.
¶Vlis. You are moued Prince, let vs depart I pray you,
¶To wrathfull tearmes: this place is dangerous;
3015The time right deadly: I beseech you goe.
¶Troy. Behold, I pray you.
¶Vlis. Nay, good my Lord goe off:
¶You flow to great distraction: come my Lord?
3020Vlis. You haue not patience, come.
¶I will not speake a word.
¶Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
3025Troy. Doth that grieue thee? O withered truth!
¶Ulis. Why, how now Lord?
¶Troy. By Ioue I will be patient.
¶Cres. Gardian? why Greeke?
¶Dio. Fo, fo, adew, you palter.
3030Cres. In faith I doe not: come hither once againe.
¶you will breake out.
¶Vlis. Come, come.
¶There is betweene my will, and all offences,
¶A guard of patience; stay a little while.
¶Ther. How the diuell Luxury with his fat rumpe and
¶potato finger, tickles these together: frye lechery, frye.
3040Dio. But will you then?
¶I will not be my selfe, nor haue cognition
¶Of what I feele: I am all patience.
Enter Cressid.
¶Ther. Now the pledge, now, now, now.
¶Cres. Here Diomed, keepe this Sleeue.
3050Troy. O beautie! where is thy Faith?
¶Vlis. My Lord.
¶Troy. I will be patient, outwardly I will.
¶Cres. You looke vpon that Sleeue? behold it well:
¶He lou'd me: O false wench: giue't me againe.
¶Cres. It is no matter now I haue't againe.
¶I will not meete with you to morrow night:
¶I prythee Diomed visite me no more.
¶Cres. What, this?
¶Dio. I that.
¶Cres. O all you gods! O prettie, prettie pledge;
¶Thy Maister now lies thinking in his bed
3065Of thee and me, and sighes, and takes my Gloue,
¶Cres. He that takes that, rakes my heart withall.
3070Dio. I had your heart before, this followes it.
3075Cres. It is no matter.
¶Cres. 'Twas one that lou'd me better then you will.
¶But now you haue it, take it.
3080Cres. By all Dianas waiting women yond:
¶Dio. To morrow will I weare it on my Helme,
¶And grieue his spirit that dares not challenge it.
3085It should be challeng'd.
¶I will not keepe my word.
¶Dio. Why then farewell,
¶Thou neuer shalt mocke Diomed againe.
¶Dio. I doe not like this fooling.
¶Ther. Nor I by Pluto: but that that likes not me, plea-
¶Cres. Good night: I prythee come:
¶Troylus farewell; one eye yet lookes on thee;
3100But with my heart, the other eye, doth see.
¶Ah poore our sexe; this fault in vs I finde:
¶The errour of our eye, directs our minde.
¶What errour leads, must erre: O then conclude,
¶Mindes swai'd by eyes, are full of turpitude.
Exit.
¶Ulis. Al's done my Lord.
¶Troy. It is.
¶But if I tell how these two did coact;
¶Shall I not lye, in publishing a truth?
¶Sith yet there is a credence in my heart:
¶That doth inuert that test of eyes and eares;
¶As if those organs had deceptious functions,
¶Created onely to calumniate.
3120Vlis. I cannot coniure Troian.
3125Troy. Let it not be beleeu'd for womanhood:
¶Thinke we had mothers; doe not giue aduantage
¶To stubborne Criticks, apt without a theame
¶mothers?
¶If sanctimonie be the gods delight:
¶If there be rule in vnitie it selfe,
¶By foule authoritie: where reason can reuolt
¶Within my soule, there doth conduce a fight
¶Diuides more wider then the skie and earth:
¶Admits no Orifex for a point as subtle,
¶As Ariachnes broken woofe to enter:
¶And with another knot fiue finger tied,
3155The fractions of her faith, orts of her loue:
¶The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greazie reliques,
¶Of her ore-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed
¶Vlis. May worthy Troylus be halfe attached
¶In Characters, as red as Mars his heart
¶Inflam'd with Uenus: neuer did yong man fancy
3165So much by weight, hate I her Diomed,
¶That Sleeue is mine, that heele beare in his Helme:
¶Were it a Caske compos'd by Vulcans skill,
¶Which Shipmen doe the Hurricano call,
¶Shall dizzie with more clamour Neptunes eare
¶Falling on Diomed.
¶Ther. Heele tickle it for his concupie.
¶And theyle seeme glorious.
3180
Enter Æneas.
¶Hector by this is arming him in Troy.
¶Aiax your Guard, staies to conduct you home.
¶Troy. Haue with you Prince: my curteous Lord adew:
3185Farewell reuolted faire: and Diomed,
¶Vli. Ile bring you to the Gates.
¶
Exeunt Troylus, Æneas, and Ulisses.
3190Ther. Would I could meete that roague Diomed, I
¶would croke like a Rauen: I would bode, I would bode:
¶Patroclus will giue me any thing for the intelligence of
¶this whore: the Parrot will not doe more for an Almond,
¶then he for a commodious drab: Lechery, lechery, still
¶diuell take them.
