Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editors: Brent Whitted, Paul Yachnin
Peer Reviewed

The Tempest (Modern)


1350[3.2]
Enter Caliban, Stephano, and Trinculo.
Stephano [To Trinculo] Tell not me! When the butt is out, we will drink water, not a drop before: therefore bear up and board 'em. [To Caliban] Servant monster, drink to me!
1355Trinculo Servant monster? The folly of this island! They say there's but five upon this isle; we are three of them. If the other two be brained like us, the state totters.
Stephano Drink, servant monster, when I bid thee; thy eyes are almost set in thy head.
1360Trinculo Where should they be set else? He were a brave monster indeed if they were set in his tail.
Stephano My man-monster hath drowned his tongue in sack. For my part, the sea cannot drown me. I swam, ere I could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues 1365off and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant monster -- or my standard.
Trinculo Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.
Stephano We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.
Trinculo Nor go, neither -- but you'll lie like dogs and yet 1370say nothing, neither.
Stephano Mooncalf: speak once in thy life, if thou be'st a good mooncalf.
Caliban How does thy honor? Let me lick thy shoe. I'll not serve him; he is not valiant.
1375Trinculo Thou liest, most ignorant monster. I am in case to jostle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou, was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much sack as I today? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a monster?
1380Caliban Lo, how he mocks me! Wilt thou let him, my Lord?
Trinculo "Lord," quoth he! -- that a monster should be such a natural.
Caliban Lo, lo, again! Bite him to death, I prithee.
1385Stephano Trinculo: keep a good tongue in your head. If you prove a mutineer, the next tree! The poor monster's my subject, and he shall not suffer indignity.
Caliban I thank my noble Lord. Wilt thou be pleased to hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
1390Stephano Marry will I: kneel and repeat it. I will stand and so shall Trinculo.
Enter Ariel, invisible.
Caliban As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant --a sorcerer -- that by his cunning hath cheated me 1395of the island.
Ariel Thou liest.
Caliban [To Trinculo] Thou liest, thou jesting monkey thou! I would my valiant master would destroy thee. I do not lie.
1400Stephano Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale, by this hand I will supplant some of your teeth.
Trinculo Why, I said nothing.
Stephano Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
Caliban I say by sorcery he got this isle.
1405From me he got it! If thy greatness will
Revenge it on him -- for I know thou dar'st,
But this thing dare not.
Stephano That's most certain.
Caliban Thou shalt be lord of it, and I'll serve thee.
1410Stephano How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou bring me to the party?
Caliban Yea, yea, my Lord; I'll yield him thee asleep, where thou mayst knock a nail into his head.
Ariel Thou liest: thou canst not.
1415Caliban What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!
I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows
And take his bottle from him. When that's gone,
He shall drink nought but brine, for I'll not show him
Where the quick freshes are.
1420Stephano Trinculo, run into no further danger. Interrupt the monster one word further, and by this hand I'll turn my mercy out of doors and make a stockfish of thee.
Trinculo Why, what did I? I did nothing. 1425I'll go farther off.
Stephano Didst thou not say he lied?
Ariel Thou liest.
Stephano Do I so? Take thou that! As you like this, give me the lie another time!
1430Trinculo I did not give the lie! Out of your wits and hearing too? A pox on your bottle -- this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the devil take your fingers!
1435Caliban Ha ha ha!
Stephano Now, forward with your tale. [To Trinculo] Prithee, stand further off!
Caliban Beat him enough! After a little time, I'll beat him too.
1440Stephano Stand farther. Come, proceed.
Caliban Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him
I'th'afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,
Having first seized his books, or with a log
Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
1445Or cut his weasand with thy knife. Remember
First to possess his books, for without them
He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
One spirit to command; they all do hate him
As rootedly as I. Burn but his books;
1450He has brave utensils, for so he calls them,
Which, when he has a house, he'll deck withal.
And that most deeply to consider is
The beauty of his daughter -- he himself
Calls her a nonpareil. I never saw a woman
1455But only Sycorax, my dam, and she,
But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
As great'st does least.
Stephano
Is it so brave a lass?
Caliban Ay, Lord, she will become thy bed, I warrant,
1460And bring thee forth brave brood.
Stephano Monster, I will kill this man. His daughter and I will be King and Queen, save our graces, and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys.
Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?
1465Trinculo Excellent.
Stephano Give me thy hand. I am sorry I beat thee; but while thou liv'st, keep a good tongue in thy head.
Caliban Within this half hour will he be asleep.
Wilt thou destroy him then?
1470Stephano
Ay, on mine honor.
Ariel [Aside] This will I tell my master.
Caliban Thou mak'st me merry; I am full of pleasure.
Let us be jocund! Will you troll the catch
You taught me but whilere?
1475Stephano At thy request, monster, I will do reason,
Any reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.
Sings
Flout'em and cout'em; and skout'em and flout'em:
Thought is free.
1480Caliban That's not the tune!
Ariel plays the tune on a tabor and pipe.
Stephano What is this same?
Trinculo This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody.
1485Stephano If thou be'st a man, show thyself in thy likeness;
If thou be'st a devil, take't as thou list.
Trinculo O forgive me my sins!
Stephano He that dies pays all debts. I defy thee! Mercy upon us!
1490Caliban Art thou afeard?
Stephano No, monster, not I.
Caliban Be not afeard, the isle is full of noises,
Sounds, and sweet ayres that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
1495Will hum about mine ears, and sometimes voices --
That if I then had waked after long sleep,
Will make me sleep again -- and then, in dreaming,
The clouds methought would open and show riches
Ready to drop upon me, that when I waked
1500I cried to dream again.
Stephano This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for nothing!
Caliban When Prospero is destroyed.
Stephano That shall be by and by; 1505I remember the story.
Trinculo The sound is going away. Let's follow it, and after do our work.
Stephano Lead, monster: we'll follow. I would I could see this taborer; 1510he lays it on.
Trinculo [To Caliban] Wilt come? [To Stephano] I'll follow, Stephano.
Exeunt.