Twelfth Night (Folio 1, 1623)
Peer Reviewed
¶
Actus Quintus. Scena Prima.
¶
Enter Clowne and Fabian.
¶Fab. Any thing.
¶my dogge againe.
2160
Enter Duke, Viola, Curio, and Lords.
¶Duke. Belong you to the Lady Oliuia, friends?
¶Fellow?
¶for my friends.
¶Du. How can that be?
¶your foure negatiues make your two affirmatiues, why
2175then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.
¶Du. Why this is excellent.
¶one of my friends.
¶you could make it another.
¶and let your flesh and blood obey it.
¶dealer: there's another.
2190you in minde, one, two, three.
¶Du. You can foole no more money out of mee at this
¶throw: if you will let your Lady know I am here to speak
¶with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my
¶bounty further.
¶gen. I go sir, but I would not haue you to thinke, that
¶anon.
Exit
2200
Enter Anthonio and Officers.
¶Du. That face of his I do remember well,
¶As blacke as Vulcan, in the smoake of warre:
¶For shallow draught and bulke vnprizable,
¶With the most noble bottome of our Fleete,
2210Cride fame and honor on him: What's the matter?
¶That tooke the Phoenix, and her fraught from Candy,
¶And this is he that did the Tiger boord,
¶When your yong Nephew Titus lost his legge;
¶In priuate brabble did we apprehend him.
¶I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
¶Hast made thine enemies?
¶Anthonio neuer yet was Theefe, or Pyrate,
¶Orsino's enemie. A witchcraft drew me hither:
2230From the rude seas enrag'd and foamy mouth
¶Did I redeeme: a wracke past hope he was:
¶His life I gaue him, and did thereto adde
¶My loue without retention, or restraint,
¶All his in dedication. For his sake,
¶Into the danger of this aduerse Towne,
¶Drew to defend him, when he was beset:
¶Where being apprehended, his false cunning
¶(Not meaning to partake with me in danger)
2240Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
¶And grew a twentie yeeres remoued thing
¶While one would winke: denide me mine owne purse,
¶Which I had recommended to his vse,
¶Not halfe an houre before.
2245Vio. How can this be?
¶Du. When came he to this Towne?
¶Ant. To day my Lord: and for three months before,
¶No intrim, not a minutes vacancie,
¶Both day and night did we keepe companie.
2250
Enter Oliuia and attendants.
¶on earth:
¶Three monthes this youth hath tended vpon mee,
2255But more of that anon. Take him aside.
¶Ol. What would my Lord, but that he may not haue,
¶Vio. Madam:
2260Du. Gracious Oliuia.
¶Ol. If it be ought to the old tune my Lord,
¶It is as fat and fulsome to mine eare
2265As howling after Musicke.
¶That ere deuotion tender'd. What shall I do?
¶Like to th'Egyptian theefe, at point of death
¶Since you to non-regardance cast my faith,
¶And that I partly know the instrument
¶That screwes me from my true place in your fauour:
¶But this your Minion, whom I know you loue,
¶And whom, by heauen I sweare, I tender deerely,
¶Him will I teare out of that cruell eye,
2285Come boy with me, my thoughts are ripe in mischiefe:
¶Ile sacrifice the Lambe that I do loue,
¶To spight a Rauens heart within a Doue.
¶Vio. After him I loue,
¶More then I loue these eyes, more then my life,
¶More by all mores, then ere I shall loue wife.
2295Punish my life, for tainting of my loue.
¶Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong?
¶Call forth the holy Father.
2300Du. Come, away.
2305Vio. No my Lord, not I.
¶That makes thee strangle thy propriety:
¶Feare not Cesario, take thy fortunes vp,
¶Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art
2310As great as that thou fear'st.
¶
Enter Priest.
¶O welcome Father:
¶Father, I charge thee by thy reuerence
¶Heere to vnfold, though lately we intended
¶Reueales before 'tis ripe: what thou dost know
¶Hath newly past, betweene this youth, and me.
¶Priest. A Contract of eternall bond of loue,
¶Confirm'd by mutuall ioynder of your hands,
¶Strengthned by enterchangement of your rings,
¶And all the Ceremonie of this compact
¶Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
¶Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my graue
2325I haue trauail'd but two houres.
¶That thine owne trip shall be thine ouerthrow:
2330Farewell, and take her, but direct thy feete,
¶Where thou, and I (henceforth) may neuer meet.
¶Hold little faith, though thou hast too much feare.
2335
Enter Sir Andrew.
¶Ol. What's the matter?
2340Toby a bloody Coxcombe too: for the loue of God your
¶helpe, I had rather then forty pound I were at home.
¶him for a Coward, but hee's the verie diuell, incardinate.
¶And. Odd's lifelings heere he is: you broke my head
¶Toby.
¶But I bespake you faire, and hurt you not.
¶
Enter Toby and Clowne.
¶And. If a bloody coxcombe be a hurt, you haue hurt
¶me: I thinke you set nothing by a bloody Coxecombe.
¶he had not beene in drinke, hee would haue tickel'd you
¶other gates then he did.
¶To. That's all one, has hurt me, and there's th'end on't:
¶were set at eight i'th morning.
¶hate a drunken rogue.
2365Ol. Away with him? Who hath made this hauocke
¶with them?
¶gether.
2370a knaue: a thin fac'd knaue, a gull?
¶Ol. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd too.
¶
Enter Sebastian.
¶But had it beene the brother of my blood,
¶You throw a strange regard vpon me, and by that
¶I do perceiue it hath offended you:
¶Pardon me (sweet one) euen for the vowes
¶We made each other, but so late ago.
¶A naturall Perspectiue, that is, and is not.
¶Seb. Anthonio: O my deere Anthonio,
¶How haue the houres rack'd, and tortur'd me,
¶Since I haue lost thee?
¶An apple cleft in two, is not more twin
¶Nor can there be that Deity in my nature
¶Whom the blinde waues and surges haue deuour'd:
2395Of charity, what kinne are you to me?
¶What Countreyman? What name? What Parentage?
¶Such a Sebastian was my brother too:
¶So went he suited to his watery tombe:
¶You come to fright vs.
¶Which from the wombe I did participate.
2405Were you a woman, as the rest goes euen,
¶I should my teares let fall vpon your cheeke,
¶And say, thrice welcome drowned Viola.
¶Vio. My father had a moale vpon his brow.
2410Vio. And dide that day when Viola from her birth
¶Had numbred thirteene yeares.
¶He finished indeed his mortall acte
2415Vio. If nothing lets to make vs happie both,
¶Do not embrace me, till each circumstance,
¶Of place, time, fortune, do co-here and iumpe
¶That I am Viola, which to confirme,
2420Ile bring you to a Captaine in this Towne,
¶Where lye my maiden weeds: by whose gentle helpe,
¶All the occurrence of my fortune since
¶Hath beene betweene this Lady, and this Lord.
¶But Nature to her bias drew in that.
¶You would haue bin contracted to a Maid,
¶Nor are you therein (by my life) deceiu'd,
¶You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.
2430Du. Be not amaz'd, right noble is his blood:
¶As doth that Orbed Continent, the fire,
¶That seuers day from night.
¶Du. Giue me thy hand,
2440And let me see thee in thy womans weedes.
¶Hath my Maides garments: he vpon some Action
¶Is now in durance, at Maluolio's suite,
¶A Gentleman, and follower of my Ladies.
¶And yet alas, now I remember me,
¶
Enter Clowne with a Letter, and Fabian.
2450From my remembrance, clearly banisht his.
¶How does he sirrah?
¶well as a man in his case may do: has heere writ a letter to
¶you, I should haue giuen't you to day morning. But as a
¶when they are deliuer'd.
¶Ol. Open't, and read it.
¶Clo. Looke then to be well edified, when the Foole
¶deliuers the Madman. By the Lord Madam.
2460Ol. How now, art thou mad?
¶Vox.
¶Ol. Prethee reade i'thy right wits.
2465Clo. So I do Madona: but to reade his right wits, is to
¶eare.
2470the world shall know it: Though you haue put mee into
¶ship. I haue your owne letter, that induced mee to the
¶semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not, but to
¶me as you please. I leaue my duty a little vnthought of,
¶and speake out of my iniury. The madly vs'd Maluolio.
¶Ol. Did he write this?
¶Clo. I Madame.
¶Ol. See him deliuer'd Fabian, bring him hither:
¶So farre beneath your soft and tender breeding,
¶Heere is my hand, you shall from this time bee
¶
Enter Maluolio.
2495Du. Is this the Madman?
¶Mal. Madam, you haue done me wrong,
¶Notorious wrong.
¶Ol. Haue I Maluolio? No.
¶You must not now denie it is your hand,
¶Write from it if you can, in hand, or phrase,
¶You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,
2505And tell me in the modestie of honor,
¶Why you haue giuen me such cleare lights of fauour,
¶To put on yellow stockings, and to frowne
¶Vpon sir Toby, and the lighter people:
2510And acting this in an obedient hope,
¶And made the most notorious gecke and gull,
¶That ere inuention plaid on? Tell me why?
2515Ol. Alas Maluolio, this is not my writing,
¶But out of question, tis Marias hand.
¶And now I do bethinke me, it was shee
¶Vpon thee in the Letter: prethee be content,
¶But when we know the grounds, and authors of it,
¶Thou shalt be both the Plaintiffe and the Iudge
2525Of thine owne cause.
¶And let no quarrell, nor no braule to come,
¶Taint the condition of this present houre,
¶Which I haue wondred at. In hope it shall not,
¶Set this deuice against Maluolio heere,
¶We had conceiu'd against him. Maria writ
¶The Letter, at sir Tobyes great importance,
2535In recompence whereof, he hath married her:
¶How with a sportfull malice it was follow'd,
¶May rather plucke on laughter then reuenge,
¶If that the iniuries be iustly weigh'd,
2540Ol. Alas poore Foole, how haue they baffel'd thee?
¶all one: By the Lotd Foole, I am not mad: but do you re-
¶and you smile not he's gag'd: and thus the whirlegigge
¶of time, brings in his reuenges.
¶Mal. Ile be reueng'd on the whole packe of you?
¶He hath not told vs of the Captaine yet,
¶When that is knowne, and golden time conuents
2555We will not part from hence. Cesario come
¶But when in other habites you are seene,
Exeunt
¶
Clowne sings.
2560
When that I was and a little tine boy,
¶with hey, ho, the winde and the raine:¶A foolish thing was but a toy,¶for the raine it raineth euery day.¶But when I came to mans estate,2565with hey ho, &c.¶for the raine, &c.¶But when I came alas to wiue,¶with hey ho, &c.2570By swaggering could I neuer thriue,¶for the raine, &c.¶But when I came vnto my beds,¶with hey ho, &c.2575for the raine, &c.¶A great while ago the world begon,¶hey ho, &c.¶But that's all one, our Play is done,
