As You Like It (Folio 1, 1623)
Peer Reviewed
¶
Scena Secunda.
1200
Enter Orlando.
¶And thou thrice crowned Queene of night suruey
¶And in their_barkes my thoughts Ile charracter,
¶That euerie eye, which in this Forrest lookes,
¶Run, run Orlando, carue on euery Tree,
Exit
¶
Enter Corin & Clowne.
¶but in respect that it is priuate, it is a very vild life. Now
¶life (looke you) it fits my humor well: but as there is no
¶meanes, and content, is without three good frends. That
1225the propertie of raine is to wet, and fire to burne: That
¶the night, is lacke of the Sunne: That hee that hath lear-
¶ned no wit by Nature, nor Art, may complaine of good
¶breeding, or comes of a very dull kindred.
¶Was't euer in Court, Shepheard?
¶Cor. No truly.
¶Clo. Then thou art damn'd.
¶Cor. Nay, I hope.
¶all on one side.
¶Clo. Why, if thou neuer was't at Court, thou neuer
¶heard.
¶ners at the Court, are as ridiculous in the Countrey, as
1245the behauiour of the Countrie is most mockeable at the
¶Court. You told me, you salute not at the Court, but
¶if Courtiers were shepheards.
¶Fels you know are greasie.
1255Come.
¶Courtiers hands are perfum'd with Ciuet.
¶and perpend: Ciuet is of a baser birth then Tarre, the
1265verie vncleanly fluxe of a Cat. Mend the instance Shep-
¶heard.
¶man: God make incision in thee, thou art raw.
1270Cor. Sir, I am a true Labourer, I earne that I eate: get
¶that I weare; owe no man hate, enuie no mans happi-
¶my Lambes sucke.
¶Ewes and the Rammes together, and to offer to get your
¶liuing, by the copulation of Cattle, to be bawd to a Bel-
¶weather, and to betray a shee-Lambe of a tweluemonth
¶to a crooked-pated olde Cuckoldly Ramme, out of all
¶ses Brother.
1285
Enter Rosalind.
¶Butter-womens ranke to Market.
¶Ros. Out Foole.
¶fect your selfe with them?
¶Ros. Peace you dull foole, I found them on a tree.
¶Clo. Truely the tree yeelds bad fruite.
¶with a Medler: then it will be the earliest fruit i'th coun-
¶try: for you'l be rotten ere you bee halfe ripe, and that's
¶the right vertue of the Medler.
1320Forrest iudge.
¶
Enter Celia with a writing.
¶_for it is vnpeopled? Noe:1325Tonges Ile hang on euerie tree,¶Some, how briefe the Life of man¶_runs his erring pilgrimage,¶Some of violated vowes,¶But vpon the fairest bowes,1335Will I Rosalinda write,¶_teaching all that reade, to know¶Therefore heauen Nature charg'd,¶With all Graces wide enlarg'd,
¶Loue haue you wearied your parishioners withall, and
1355neuer cri'de, haue patience good people.
¶Cel. How now backe friends: Shepheard, go off a lit-
¶tle: go with him sirrah.
¶Clo. Come Shepheard, let vs make an honorable re-
¶treit, though not with bagge and baggage, yet with
Exit.
¶of them had in them more feete then the Verses would
¶beare.
¶Ros. I, but the feet were lame, and could not beare
¶ly in the verse.
¶before you came: for looke heere what I found on a
¶that I was an Irish Rat, which I can hardly remember.
1375Cel. Tro you, who hath done this?
¶Ros. Is it a man?
¶Cel. And a chaine that you once wore about his neck:
¶change you colour?
¶Ros. I pre'thee who?
1380Cel. O Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to
¶meete; but Mountaines may bee remoou'd with Earth-
¶quakes, and so encounter.
¶Ros. Nay, but who is it?
1385Ros. Nay, I pre'thee
now, with most petitionary ve-
¶hemence, tell me who it is.
¶wonderfull, and yet againe wonderful, and after that out
¶of all hooping.
¶of discouerie. I pre'thee tell me, who is it quickely, and
1395might'st powre this conceal'd man out of thy mouth, as
¶Wine comes out of a narrow-mouth'd bottle: either too
¶much at once, or none at all. I pre'thee take the Corke
¶out of thy mouth, that I may drinke thy tydings.
¶Cel. So you may put a man in your belly.
1400Ros. Is he of Gods making? What manner of man?
¶Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard?
¶Cel. Nay, he hath but a little beard.
¶thankful: let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou
1405delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
¶heeles, and your heart, both in an instant.
¶brow, and true maid.
1410Cel. I'faith (Coz) tis he.
¶Ros. Orlando?
¶Cel. Orlando.
1415he? How look'd he? Wherein went he? What makes hee
¶heere? Did he aske for me? Where remaines he ? How
¶gaine? Answer me in one vvord.
1420'tis a Word too great for any mouth of this Ages size, to
¶in a Catechisme.
¶in mans apparrell? Looks he as freshly, as he did the day
1425he Wrastled?
¶vnder a tree like a drop'd Acorne.
1430Ros. It may vvel be cal'd Ioues tree, when it droppes
¶forth fruite.
¶Cel. Giue me audience, good Madam.
¶Ros. Proceed.
1435knight.
¶becomes the ground.
¶Cel. Cry holla, to the tongue, I prethee: it curuettes
1440Ros. O ominous, he comes to kill my Hart.
¶bring'st me out of tune.
¶Ros. Do you not know I am a woman, when I thinke,
1445
Enter Orlando & Iaques.
¶Cel. You bring me out. Soft, comes he not heere?
¶Iaq I thanke you for your company, but good faith
¶I had as liefe haue beene my selfe alone.
¶I thanke you too, for your societie.
¶Iaq. God buy you, let's meet as little as we can.
¶Iaq. I pray you marre no more trees vvith Writing
1455Loue-songs in their barkes.
¶ding them ill-fauouredly.
¶Iaq. I do not like her name.
¶was christen'd.
1465quainted with goldsmiths wiues, & cond thē out of rings
¶Iaq. You haue a nimble wit; I thinke 'twas made of
¶Attalanta's heeles. Will you sitte downe with me, and
¶our miserie.
¶tue: I am wearie of you.
¶found you.
¶Orl. He is drown'd in the brooke, looke but in, and
¶Orl. Which I take to be either a foole, or a Cipher.
¶nior Loue.
1485Orl. I am glad of your departure: Adieu good Mon-
¶sieur Melancholly.
¶der that habit play the knaue with him, do you hear For-
(rester.
¶Orl. Verie wel, what would you?
¶clocke in the Forrest.
¶sighing euerie minute, and groaning euerie houre wold
1495detect the lazie foot of time, as wel as a clocke.
¶that bin as proper?
¶with diuers persons: Ile tel you who Time ambles with-
1500all, who Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal,
¶Orl. I prethee, who doth he trot withal?
¶Ros. Marry he trots hard with a yong maid, between
¶the contract of her marriage, and the day it is solemnizd:
¶Orl. Who ambles Time withal?
¶cause he feeles no paine: the one lacking the burthen of
¶leane and wasteful Learning; the other knowing no bur-
¶then of heauie tedious penurie. These Time ambles
¶withal.
1515Orl. Who doth he gallop withal?
¶Ros. With a theefe to the gallowes : for though hee
¶there.
¶betweene Terme and Terme, and then they perceiue not
¶how time moues.
¶Orl. Where dwel you prettie youth?
¶Orl. Are you natiue of this place?
¶kindled.
¶religious Vnckle of mine taught me to speake, who was
¶in his youth an inland man, one that knew Courtship too
¶well: for there he fel in loue. I haue heard him read ma-
1535ny Lectors against it, and I thanke God, I am not a Wo-
¶man to be touch'd with so many giddie offences as hee
¶hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal.
¶Orl. Can you remember any of the principall euils,
¶that he laid to the charge of women?
1540Ros. There were none principal, they were all like
¶one another, as halfe pence are, euerie one fault seeming
¶monstrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it.
¶barkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and Elegies on
¶If I could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue him
¶of Loue vpon him.
¶me your remedie.
¶Ros. There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you:
1555he taught me how to know a man in loue: in which cage
¶Orl. What were his markes?
¶Ros. A leane cheeke, which you haue not: a blew eie
1560rit, which you haue not: a beard neglected, which you
¶haue not: (but I pardon you for that, for simply your ha-
¶uing in beard, is a yonger brothers reuennew) then your
¶are no such man; you are rather point deuice in your ac-
¶uer of any other.
¶you Loue beleeue it, which I warrant she is apter to do,
¶Rosalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he.
¶that the Lunacie is so ordinarie, that the whippers are in
¶Ros. Yes one, and in this manner. Hee was to ima-
¶to woe me. At which time would I, being but a moonish
¶youth, greeue, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and
¶for the most part, cattle of this colour: would now like
¶him, now loath him: then entertaine him, then forswear
1595him: now weepe for him, then spit at him; that I draue
¶my Sutor from his mad humor of loue, to a liuing humor
¶and to liue in a nooke meerly Monastick: and thus I cur'd
¶him, and this way wil I take vpon mee to wash your Li-
¶be one spot of Loue in't.
¶Orl. I would not be cured, youth.
¶lind, and come euerie day to my Coat, and woe me.
1605Orlan. Now by the faith of my loue, I will ; Tel me
¶where it is.
¶Wil you go?
1610Orl. With all my heart, good youth.
¶will you go?
Exeunt.
