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Shakespeare on Stage
American Shakespeare Center, The Duchess of Malfi. To Jun. 15, 2013.
Folger Shakespeare Library, Twelfth Night. To Jun. 9, 2013.
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As You Like It (Folio 1, 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: David Bevington
Peer Reviewed
206
As you like it.
Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter euen :
2595Keepe you your word, O Duke, to giue your daughter,
You yours Orlando, to receiue his daughter :
Keepe you your word Phebe, that you'l marrie me,
Or else refusing me to wed this shepheard :
Keepe your word Siluius, that you'l marrie her
2600If she refuse me, and from hence I go
To make these doubts all euen.
Exit Ros. and Celia.
Du.Sen. I do remember in this shepheard boy,
Some liuely touches of my daughters fauour.
Orl. My Lord, the first time that I euer saw him,
2605Me thought he was a brother to your daughrer:
But my good Lord, this Boy is Forrest borne,
And hath bin tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies, by his vnckle,
Whom he reports to be a great Magitian.
2610
Enter Clowne and Audrey.
Obscured in the circle of this Forrest.
Iaq. There is sure another flood toward, and these
couples are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payre
of verie strange beasts, which in all tongues, are call'd
2615Fooles.
Clo. Salutation and greeting to you all.
Iaq. Good my Lord, bid him welcome : This is the
Motley-minded Gentleman, that I haue so often met in
the Forrest: he hath bin a Courtier he sweares.
2620Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put mee to my
purgation, I haue trod a measure, I haue flattred a Lady,
I haue bin politicke with my friend, smooth with mine
enemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had foure
quarrels, and like to haue fought one.
2625Iaq. And how was that tane vp?
Clo. 'Faith we met, and found the quarrel was vpon
the seuenth cause.
Iaq. How seuenth cause? Good my Lord, like this
fellow.
2630Du.Se. I like him very well.
Clo. God'ild you sir, I desire you of the like : I presse
in heere sir, amongst the rest of the Country copulatiues
to sweare, and to forsweare, according as mariage binds
and blood breakes: a poore virgin sir, an il-fauor'd thing
2635sir, but mine owne, a poore humour of mine sir, to take
that that no man else will : rich honestie dwels like a mi-
ser sir, in a poore house, as your Pearle in your foule oy-
ster.
Du.Se. By my faith, he is very swift, and sententious
2640Clo. According to the fooles bolt sir, and such dulcet
diseases.
Iaq. But for the seuenth cause. How did you finde
the quarrell on the seuenth cause?
Clo. Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued : (beare your
2645bodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike the
cut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if I
said his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde it
was : this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent him
word againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me word
2650he cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest.
If againe, it was not well cut, he disabled my iudgment:
this is called, the reply churlish. If againe it was not well
cut, he would answer I spake not true : this is call'd the
reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold
2655say, I lie : this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome :
and so ro lye circumstantiall, and the lye direct.
Iaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
Clo. I durst go no further then the lye circumstantial:
2660nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee mea-
sur'd swords, and parted.
Iaq. Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of
the lye.
Clo. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you
2665haue bookes for good manners: I will name you the de-
grees. The first, the Retort courteous: the second, the
Quip-modest: the third, the reply Churlish: the fourth,
the Reproofe valiant: the fift, the Counterchecke quar-
relsome: the sixt, the Lye with circumstance: the sea-
2670uenth, the Lye direct: all these you may auoyd, but the
Lye direct : and you may auoide that too, with an If. I
knew when seuen Iustices could not take vp a Quarrell,
but when the parties were met themselues, one of them
thought but of an If; as if you saide so, then I saide so:
2675and they shooke hands, and swore brothers. Your If, is
the onely peace-maker: much vertue in if.
Iaq. Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as good
at any thing, and yet a foole.
Du.Se. He vses his folly like a stalking-horse, and vn-
2680der the presentation of that he shoots his wit.

Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.
Still Musicke.
Hymen. Then is there mirth in heauen,
When earthly things made eauen
2685attone together,
Good Duke receiue thy daughter,
Hymen from Heauen brought her,
Yea brought her hether,
That thou mightst ioyne his hand with his,
2690Whose heart within his bosome is.
Ros. To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.
To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.
Du.Se. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
2695Phe. If sight & shape be true, why then my loue adieu
Ros. Ile haue no Father, if you be not he:
Ile haue no Husband, if you be not he:
Nor ne're wed woman, if you be not shee.
Hy. Peace hoa: I barre confusion,
2700'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange euents:
Here's eight that must take hands,
To ioyne in Hymens bands,
If truth holds true contents.
2705You and you, no crosse shall part;
You and you, are hart in hart:
You, to his loue must accord,
Or haue a Woman to your Lord.
You and you, are sure together,
2710As the Winter to fowle Weather:
Whiles a Wedlocke Hymne we sing,
Feede your selues with questioning:
That reason, wonder may diminish
How thus we met, and these things finish.
2715
Song.
Wedding is great Iunos crowne,
O blessed bond of boord and bed:
'Tis Hymen peoples euerie towne,
High wedlock then be honored:
2720Honor, high honor and renowne
To Hymen, God of euerie Towne.

Du.Se. O my deere Neece, welcome thou art to me,
Euen daughter welcome, in no lesse degree.
Phe.