Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: David Bevington
Peer Reviewed

As You Like It (Folio 1, 1623)


As yoa like it.
197

against whom I know mosl faults.
Iaq. The worst fault you haue, is to be in loue.
1475Orl. 'Tis a fault I will not change, for your best ver-
tue: I am wearie of you.
Iaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a Foole, when I
found you.
Orl. He is drown'd in the brooke, looke but in, and
1480you shall see him.
Iaq. There I shal see mine owne figure.
Orl. Which I take to be either a foole, or a Cipher.
Iaq. Ile tarrie no longer with you, farewell good sig-
nior Loue.
1485Orl. I am glad of your departure: Adieu good Mon-
sieur Melancholly.
Ros. I wil speake to him like a sawcie Lacky. and vn-
der that habit play the knaue with him, do you hear For-
Orl. Verie wel, what would you?
1490Ros. I pray you, what i'st a clocke?
Orl. You should aske me what time o'day: there's no
clocke in the Forrest.
Ros. Then there is no true Louer in the Forrest, else
sighing euerie minute, and groaning euerie houre wold
1495detect the lazie foot of time, as wel as a clocke.
Orl. And why not the swift foote of time? Had not
that bin as proper?
Ros. By no meanes sir; Time trauels in diuers paces,
with diuers persons: Ile tel you who Time ambles with-
1500all, who Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal,
and who he stands stil withall.
Orl. I prethee, who doth he trot withal?
Ros. Marry he trots hard with a yong maid, between
the contract of her marriage, and the day it is solemnizd:
1505if the interim be but a sennight, Times pace is so hard,
that it seemes the length of seuen yeare.
Orl. Who ambles Time withal?
Ros. With a Priest that lacks Latine, and a rich man
that hath not the Gowt : for the one sleepes easily be-
1510cause he cannot study, and the other liues merrily, be-
cause he feeles no paine: the one lacking the burthen of
leane and wasteful Learning; the other knowing no bur-
then of heauie tedious penurie. These Time ambles
withal.
1515Orl. Who doth he gallop withal?
Ros. With a theefe to the gallowes : for though hee
go as softly as foot can fall, he thinkes himselfe too soon
there.
Orl. Who staies it stil withal?
1520Ros. With Lawiers in the vacation: for they sleepe
betweene Terme and Terme, and then they perceiue not
how time moues.
Orl. Where dwel you prettie youth?
Ros. With this Shepheardesse my sister : heere in the
1525skirts of the Forrest, like fringe vpon a petticoat.
Orl. Are you natiue of this place?
Ros. As the Conie that you see dwell where shee is
kindled.
Orl. Your accent is something finer, then you could
1530purchase in so remoued a dwelling.
Ros. I haue bin told so of many: but indeed, an olde
religious Vnckle of mine taught me to speake, who was
in his youth an inland man, one that knew Courtship too
well: for there he fel in loue. I haue heard him read ma-
1535ny Lectors against it, and I thanke God, I am not a Wo-
man to be touch'd with so many giddie offences as hee
hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal.
Orl. Can you remember any of the principall euils,

that he laid to the charge of women?
1540Ros. There were none principal, they were all like
one another, as halfe pence are, euerie one fault seeming
monstrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it.
Orl. I prethee recount some of them.
Ros. No: I wil not cast away my physick, but on those
1545that are sicke. There is a man haunts the Forrest, that a-
buses our yong plants with caruing Rosalinde on their
barkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and Elegies on
brambles; all (forsooth) defying the name of Rosalinde.
If I could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue him
1550some good counsel, for he seemes to haue the Quotidian
of Loue vpon him.
Orl. I am he that is so Loue-shak'd, I pray you tel
me your remedie.
Ros. There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you:
1555he taught me how to know a man in loue: in which cage
of rushes, I am sure you art not prisoner.
Orl. What were his markes?
Ros. A leane cheeke, which you haue not: a blew eie
and sunken, which you haue not: an vnquestionable spi-
1560rit, which you haue not: a beard neglected, which you
haue not: (but I pardon you for that, for simply your ha-
uing in beard, is a yonger brothers reuennew) then your
hose should be vngarter'd, your bonnet vnbanded, your
sleeue vnbutton'd, your shoo vnti'de, and euerie thing
1565about you, demonstrating a carelesse desolation: but you
are no such man; you are rather point deuice in your ac-
coustrements, as louing your selfe, then seeming the Lo-
uer of any other.
Orl. Faire youth, I would I could make thee beleeue
1570Ros. Me beleeue it? You may assoone make her that
you Loue beleeue it, which I warrant she is apter to do,
then to confesse she do's: that is one of the points, in the
which women stil giue the lie to their consciences. But
in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the
1575Trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired?
Orl. I sweare to thee youth, by the white hand of
Rosalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he.
Ros. But are you so much in loue, as your rimes speak?
Orl. Neither rime nor reason can expresse how much.
1580Ros: Loue is meerely a madnesse, and I tel you, de-
serues as wel a darke house, and a whip, as madmen do:
and the reason why they are not so punish'd and cured, is
that the Lunacie is so ordinarie, that the whippers are in
loue too: yet I professe curing it by counsel.
1585Orl. Did you euer cure any so?
Ros. Yes one, and in this manner. Hee was to ima-
gine me his Loue, his Mistris: and I set him euerie day
to woe me. At which time would I, being but a moonish
youth, greeue, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and
1590liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, ful
of teares, full of smiles; for euerie passion something, and
for no passion truly any thing, as boyes and women are
for the most part, cattle of this colour: would now like
him, now loath him: then entertaine him, then forswear
1595him: now weepe for him, then spit at him; that I draue
my Sutor from his mad humor of loue, to a liuing humor
of madnes, wc was to forsweare the ful stream of ye world,
and to liue in a nooke meerly Monastick: and thus I cur'd
him, and this way wil I take vpon mee to wash your Li-
1600uer as cleane as a sound sheepes heart, that there shal not
be one spot of Loue in't.
Orl. I would not be cured, youth.
Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosa-
lind, and come euerie day to my Coat, and woe me.
R 3
Orl.