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The Merry Wives of Windsor (Quarto 1, 1602)

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed
A pleasant Comedie, of
Giues her intelligence of her husbands
Approach: and by her inuention, and Fords wiues
Distraction, conueyd me into a buck basket.
1755Ford. A buck basket!
Fal. By the Lord a buck basket, rammed me in
With foule shirts, stokins, greasie napkins,
That M. Brooke, there was a compound of the most
Villanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.
Ile tell you M. Brooke, by the Lord for your sake
I suffered three egregious deaths: First to be
Crammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference
Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then to
1780Be stewed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:
A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell I
Escaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,
To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:
Maister Brooke, thinke of that hissing heate, Maister
Brooke.
Ford. Well sir then my shute is void?
Youle vndertake it no more?
Fal. M. Brooke, Ile be throwne into Etna
1795As I haue bene in the Thames,
Ere I thus leaue her: I haue receiued
Another appointment of meeting,
Between ten and eleuen is the houre.
1800Ford: Why sir, tis almost ten alreadie:
Fal: Is it? why then will I addresse my selfe
For my appointment: M. Brooke come to me soone
At night, and you shall know how I speed,
And the end shall be, you shall enioy her loue:
You shall cuckold Foord: Come to mee soone at
1804.1at night.
Exit Falstaffe.
Ford