Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed

The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

Scena Tertia.
Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.
Caius. Iacke Rugby.
Rug. Sir.
Caius. Vat is the clocke, Iack.
1070Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd
to meet.
Cai. By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no-come:
hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar
(Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
1075Rug. Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would
kill him if he came.
Cai. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill
him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill
kill him.
1080Rug. Alas sir, I cannot fence.
Cai. Villanie, take your Rapier.
Rug. Forbeare: heer's company.
Host. 'Blesse thee, bully-Doctor.
Shal. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius.
1085Page. Now good Mr. Doctor.
Slen. 'Giue you good-morrow, sir.
Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?
Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee
trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee
1090passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy
montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran-
cisco? ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my
heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead?
Cai. By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Priest of de vorld:
1095he is not show his face.
Host. Thou art a Castalion-king-Vrinall: Hector of
Greece (my Boy)
Cai. I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,
sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no-
Shal. He is the wiser man (M. Docto)rhe is a curer of
soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you
goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,
Master Page?
1105Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a
great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shal. Body-kins M. Page, though I now be old, and
of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and
1110Church-men (M. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth
in vs, we are the sons of women (M. Page.)
Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shallow.
Shal. It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius,
I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:
1115you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir
Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Church-
man: you must goe with me, M. Doctor.
Host. Pardon, Guest-Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke-
1120Cai. Mock-vater? vat is dat?
Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is Valour
Cai. By gar, then I haue as much Mock-vater as de
Englishman: scuruy-Iack-dog-Priest: by gar, mee vill
1125cut his eares.
Host. He will Clapper-claw thee tightly (Bully.)
Cai. Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?
Host. That is, he will make thee amends.
Cai. By-gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper-de-claw
1130me, for by-gar, me vill haue it.
Host. And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag.
Cai. Me tanck you for dat.
Host. And moreouer, (Bully) but first, Mr. Ghuest,
and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through
1135the Towne to Frogmore.
Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host. He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will
bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
Shal. We will doe it.
1140All. Adieu, good M. Doctor.
Cai. By-gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a
Iack-an-Ape to Anne Page.
Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold
water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee
1145through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne
Page is, at a Farm-house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe
her: Cride-game, said I well?
Cai. By-gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue
you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,
1150de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
Host. For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward
Anne Page: said I well?
Cai. By-gar, 'tis good: vell said.
Host. Let vs wag then.
1155Cai. Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.