Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
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The Merry Wives of Windsor (Folio 1, 1623)

Scoena Quarta.
Enter Mistris Quickly, Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor,
Caius, Fenton.
400Qu. What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Case-
ment, and see if you can see my Master, Master Docter
Caius comming: if he doe (I' faith) and finde any body
in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods pati-
ence, and the Kings English.
405Ru. Ile goe watch.
Qu. Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night,
(in faith) at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire: An honest,
willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house
withall: and I warrant you, no tel-tale, nor no breede-
410bate: his worst fault is, that he is giuen to prayer; hee is
something peeuish that way: but no body but has his
fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your
name is?
Si. I: for fault of a better.
415Qu. And Master Slender's your Master?
Si. I forsooth.
Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a
Glouers pairing-knife?
Si. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee-face; with
420a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.
Qu. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Si. I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as
any is betweene this and his head: he hath fought with
a Warrener.
425Qu. How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's
he not hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?
Si. Yes indeede do's he.
Qu. Well, heauen send Anne Page, no worse fortune:
Tell Master Parson Euans, I will doe what I can for your
430Master: Anne is a good girle, and I wish ---
Ru. Out alas: here comes my Master.
Qu. We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young
man: goe into this Closset: he will not stay long: what
Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what Iohn I say? goe Iohn, goe en-
435quire for my Master, I doubt he be not well, that hee
comes not home: (and downe, downe, adowne'a. &c.
Ca. Vat is you sing? I doe not like des-toyes: pray
you goe and vetch me in my Closset, vnboyteene verd;
a Box, a greene-a-Box: do intend vat I speake? a greene-
Qu. I forsooth ile fetch it you:
I am glad hee went not in himselfe: if he had found the
yong man he would haue bin horne-mad.
Ca. Fe, fe, fe, fe, mai foy, il fait for ehando, Ie man voi a le
445Court la grand affaires.
Qu. Is it this Sir?
Ca. Ouy mette le au mon pocket, de-peech quickly:
Vere is dat knaue Rugby?
Qu. What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?
450Ru. Here Sir.
Ca. You are Iohn Rugby, aad you are Iacke Rugby:
Come, take-a-your Rapier, and come after my heele to
the Court.
Ru. 'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch.
455Ca. By my trot: I tarry too long: od's-me: que ay ie
oublie: dere is some Simples in my Closset, dat I vill not
for the varld I shall leaue behinde.
Qu. Ay-me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be mad.
Ca. O Diable, Diable: vat is in my Closset?
460Villanie, La-roone: Rugby, my Rapier.
Qu. Good Master be content.
Ca. Wherefore shall I be content-a?
Qu. The yong man is an honest man.
Ca. What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dere
465is no honest man dat shall come in my Closset.
Qu. I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the
truth of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parson
Ca. Vell.
470Si. I forsooth: to desire her to ---
Qu. Peace, I pray you.
Ca. Peace-a-your tongue: speake-a-your Tale.
Si. To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid)
to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page, for my Ma-
475ster in the way of Marriage.
Qu. This is all indeede-la: but ile nere put my finger
in the fire, and neede not.
Ca. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, ballow mee some
paper: tarry you a littell-a-while.
480Qui. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin through-
ly moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so me-
lancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile doe yoe your
Master what good I can: and the very yea, & the no is, ye
French Doctor my Master, (I may call him my Master,
485looke you, for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew,
bake, scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and
doe all my selfe.)
Simp. 'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies
490Qui. Are you a-uis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great
charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but notwith-
standing, (to tell you in your eare, I wold haue no words
of it) my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne
Page: but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind, that's
495neither heere nor there.
Caius. You, Iack'Nape: giue-'a this Letter to Sir
Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de
Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iack-a-nape Priest to
meddle, or make:--- you may be gon: it is not good
500you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by
gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge.
Qui. Alas: he speakes but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell-a-me
dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe? by gar, I vill
505kill de Iack-Priest: and I haue appointed mine Host of
de Iarteer to measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe
haue Anne Page.
Qui. Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well:
We must giue folkes leaue to prate: what the good-ier.
Caius. Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if
I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your head out of my
dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
Qui. You shall haue An-fooles head of your owne:
No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Wind-
515sor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe
more then I doe with her, I thanke heauen.
Fenton. Who's with in there, hoa?
Qui. Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house I
pray you.
520Fen. How now (good woman) how dost thou?
Qui. The better that it pleases your good Worship
to aske?
Fen. What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?
Qui. In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and
525gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by
the way, I praise heauen for it.
Fen. Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not
loose my suit?
Qui. Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but not-
530withstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on a booke
shee loues you: haue not your Worship a wart aboue
your eye?
Fen. Yes marry haue I, what of that?
Qui. Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
535another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer
broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I
shall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (in-
deed) shee is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing:
but for you --- well --- goe too ---
540Fen. Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's mo-
ney for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if
thou seest her before me, commend me. ---
Qui. Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell
your Worship more of the Wart, the next time we haue
545confidence, and of other wooers.
Fen. Well, fare-well, I am in great haste now.
Qui. Fare-well to your Worship: truely an honest
Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans
minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I