300Enter Falstaffe, Host, Bardolfe, Nym, Pistoll, Page.
¶Fal. Mine
Host of the
Garter?
¶Ho. What
saies my Bully Rooke?
speake
schollerly,
¶Fal. Truely mine
Host; I mu
st turne away
some of my
¶Ho. Di
scard, (bully
Hercules) ca
sheere; let them wag;
¶Fal. I
sit at ten pounds a weeke.
¶Ho. Thou'rt an Emperor (
Cesar,
Keiser and
Pheazar)
310I will entertaine
Bardolfe: he
shall draw; he
shall tap;
said
¶Fa. Doe
so (good mine
Host.
¶Ho. I haue
spoke; let him follow; let me
see thee froth,
¶and liue
: I am at a word
: follow.
315Fal. Bardolfe, follow him
: a
Tapster is a good trade:
¶an old Cloake, makes a new Ierkin: a wither'd Seruing-
¶man, a fre
sh Tap
ster: goe, adew.
¶Ba. It is a life that I haue de
sir'd: I will thriue.
¶Pist. O ba
se hungarian wight: wilt
yu the
spigot wield.
320Ni. He was gotten in drink: is not the humor cōceited?
¶Fal. I am glad I am
so acquit of this Tinderbox: his
¶Thefts were too open
: his filching was like an vn
skilfull
¶Singer, he kept not time.
¶Ni. The good humor is to
steale at a minutes re
st.
325Pist. Conuay: the wi
se it call: Steale? foh: a fico for
¶Fal. Well
sirs, I am almo
st out at heeles.
¶Pist. Why then let Kibes en
sue.
¶Fal. There is no remedy: I mu
st conicatch, I mu
st
shift.
330Pist. Yong Rauens mu
st haue foode.
¶Fal. Which of you know
Ford of this Towne?
¶Pist. I ken the wight: he is of
sub
stance good.
¶Fal. My hone
st Lads, I will tell you what I am about.
¶Pist. Two yards, and more.
335Fal. No quips now
Pistoll: (Indeede I am in the wa
ste
¶two yards about: but I am now about no wa
ste: I am a-
¶bout thrift) briefely: I doe meane to make loue to
Fords
¶wife: I
spie entertainment in her:
shee di
scour
ses:
shee
¶carues
: she giues the leere of inuitation
: I can con
strue
340the action of her familier
stile, & the harde
st voice of her
¶behauior (to be engli
sh'd rightly) is,
I am Sir Iohn Falstafs.
¶Pist. He hath
studied her will; and tran
slated her will:
¶out of hone
sty, into Engli
sh.
¶Ni. The Anchor is deepe: will that humor pa
sse?
345Fal. Now, the report goes,
she has all the rule of her
¶hu
sbands Pur
se: he hath a legend of Angels.
¶Pist. As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy
say I.
¶Ni. The humor ri
ses: it is good: humor me the angels.
¶Fal. I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here ano-
350ther to
Pages wife, who euen now gaue mee good eyes
¶too; examind my parts with mo
st iudicious illiads:
some-
¶times the beame of her view, guilded my foote:
some-
¶Pist. Then did the Sun on dung-hill
shine.
355Ni. I thanke thee for that humour.
¶Fal. O
she did
so cour
se o're my exteriors with
such
¶a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did
seeme
¶to
scorch me vp like a burning-gla
sse: here's another
¶letter to her: She beares the Pur
se too: She is a Region
360in
Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to
¶them both, and they
shall be Exchequers to mee: they
¶shall be my Ea
st and We
st Indies, and I will trade to
¶them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Mi
stris
Page;
¶and thou this to Mi
stris
Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we
¶Pist. Shall I Sir
Pandarus of
Troy become,
¶And by my
side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all.
¶Ni. I will run no ba
se humor: here take the humor-Letter;
¶I will keepe the hauior of reputation.
370Fal. Hold Sirha, beare you the
se Letters tightly,
¶Saile like my Pinna
sse to the
se golden
shores.
¶Rogues, hence, auaunt, vani
sh like haile-
stones; goe,
¶Trudge; plod away ith' hoofe:
seeke
shelter, packe
:
¶Falstaffe will learne the honor of the age,
375French-thrift, you Rogues, my
selfe, and
skirted
Page.
¶Pist. Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, and
¶Fullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich & poore,
¶Te
ster ile haue in pouch when thou
shalt lacke,
380Ni. I haue opperations,
¶Which be humors of reuenge.
¶Pist. Wilt thou reuenge?
¶Ni. By Welkin, and her Star.
¶Pist. With wit, or Steele?
385Ni. With both the humors, I
:
¶I will di
scu
sse the humour of this Loue to
Ford.
¶Pist. And I to
Page shall eke vnfold
¶How
Falstaffe (varlet vile)
¶His Doue will proue; his gold will hold,
390And his
soft couch defile.
¶Ni. My humour
shall not coole: I will incen
se
Ford
¶to deale with poy
son: I will po
sse
sse him with yallow-
¶ne
sse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous: that is my
395Pist. Thou art the
Mars of
Malecontents: I
second
