Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed

Two Noble Kinsmen (Quarto, 1634)

Scæna 3.
Enter Iailor, Wooer, Doctor.
Doct. Her distraction is more at some time of the Moone,
Then at other some, is it not?
2530Iay. She is continually in a harmelesse distemper, sleepes
Little, altogether without appetite, save often drinking,
Dreaming of another world, and a better; and what
Broken peece of matter so'ere she's about, the name
Palamon lardes it, that she farces ev'ry busines
Enter Daughter.
Withall, fyts it to every question; Looke where
Shee comes, you shall perceive her behaviour.
Daugh. I have forgot it quite; The burden o'nt, was downe
A downe a, and pend by no worse man, then
2540Giraldo, Emilias Schoolemaster; he's as
Fantasticall too, as ever he may goe upon's legs,
For in the next world will Dido see Palamon, and
Then will she be out of love with Eneas.
Doct. What stuff's here? pore soule.
2545Ioy. Ev'n thus all day long.
Daugh. Now for this Charme, that I told you of, you must
Bring a peece of silver on the tip of your tongue,
Or no ferry: then if it be your chance to come where
The blessed spirits, as the'rs a sight now; we maids
2550That have our Lyvers, perish'd, crakt to peeces with
Love, we shall come there, and doe nothing all day long
But picke flowers with Proserpine, then will I make
Palamon a Nosegay, then let him marke me,---then.
Doct. How prettily she's amisse? note her a little further.
2555Dau. Faith ile tell you, sometime we goe to Barly breake,
We of the blessed; alas, tis a sore life they have i'th
Thother place, such burning, frying, boyling, hissing,
Howling, chattring, cursing, oh they have shrowd
Measure, take heede; if one be mad, or hang or
2560Drowne themselves, thither they goe, Iupiter blesse
Vs, and there shall we be put in a Caldron of
Lead, and Vsurers grease, amongst a whole million of
Cutpurses, and there boyle like a Gamon of Bacon
That will never be enough.
2565Doct. How her braine coynes?
Daugh. Lords and Courtiers, that have got maids with
Child, they are in this place, they shall stand in fire up to the
Nav'le, and in yce up to 'th hart, and there th' offending part
burnes, and the deceaving part freezes; in troth a very gree-
2570vous punishment, as one would thinke, for such a Trifle, be-
leve me one would marry a leaprous witch, to be rid on't
Ile assure you.
Doct. How she continues this fancie? Tis not an engraffed
Madnesse, but a most thicke, and profound mellencholly.
2575Daugh. To heare there a proud Lady, and a proud Citty
wiffe, howle together: I were a beast and il'd call it good
sport: one cries, o this smoake, another this fire; One cries, o,
that ever I did it behind the arras, and then howles; th' other
curses a suing fellow and her garden house.
2580Sings. I will be true, my stars, my fate, &c.
Exit. Daugh.
Iay. What thinke you of her Sir?
Doct. I think she has a perturbed minde, which I
Iay. Alas, what then?
Doct. Vnderstand you, she ever affected any man, ere
2585She beheld Palamon?
Iay. I was once Sir, in great hope, she had fixd her
Liking on this gentleman my friend.
Woo. I did thinke so too, and would account I had a
Pen-worth on't, to give halfe my state, that both
2590She and I at this present stood unfainedly on the
Same tearmes.
Do. That intemprat surfeit of her eye, hath distemperd
Other sences, they may returne and settle againe to
Execute their preordaind faculties, but they are
2595Now in a most extravagant vagary. This you
Must doe, Confine her to a place, where the light
May rather seeme to steale in, then be permitted; take
Vpon you (yong Sir her friend) the name of
Palamon, say you come to eate with her, and to
2600Commune of Love; this will catch her attention, for
This her minde beates upon; other objects that are
Inserted tweene her minde and eye, become the prankes
And friskins of her madnes; Sing to her, such greene
Songs of Love, as she sayes Palamon hath sung in
2605Prison; Come to her, stucke in as sweet flowers, as the
Season is mistres of, and thereto make an addition of
Som other compounded odours, which are grateful to the
Sence: all this shall become Palamon, for Palamon can
Sing, and Palamon is sweet, and ev'ry good thing, desire
2610To eate with her, crave her, drinke to her, and still
Among, intermingle your petition of grace and acceptance
Into her favour: Learne what Maides have beene her
Companions, and play-pheeres, and let them repaire to
Her with Palamon in their mouthes, and appeare with
2615Tokens, as if they suggested for him, It is a falsehood
She is in, which is with fasehoods to be combated.
This may bring her to eate, to sleepe, and reduce what's
Now out of square in her, into their former law, and
Regiment; I have seene it approved, how many times
2620I know not, but to make the number more, I have
Great hope in this. I will betweene the passages of
This project, come in with my applyance: Let us
Put it in execution; and hasten the successe, which doubt not
Will bring forth comfort.
Florish. Exeunt.