Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed

Two Noble Kinsmen (Quarto, 1634)


Scæna 6.
Enter a Schoole master 4. Countrymen: and
Baum. 2. or 3 wenches, with a Taborer.
Sch Fy, fy, what tediosity, & disensanity is here among ye?
have my Rudiments bin labourd so long with ye? milkd unto
1600ye, and by a figure even the very plumbroth & marrow of
my understanding laid upon ye? and do you still cry where,
and how, & wherfore? you most course freeze capacities, ye
jave Iudgements, have I saide thus let be, and there let be,
and then let be, and no man understand mee, proh deum,
1605medius fidius, ye are all dunces: For why here stand I.
Here the Duke comes, there are you close in the Thicket; the
Duke appeares, I meete him and unto him I utter learned
things, and many figures, he heares, and nods, and hums, and
then cries rare, and I goe forward, at length I fling my Cap
1610up; marke there; then do you as once did Meleager, and the
Bore break comly out before him: like true lovers, cast your
selves in a Body decently, and sweetly, by a figure trace, and
turne Boyes.
1. And sweetly we will doe it Master Gerrold.
16152. Draw up the Company, Where's the Taborour.
3. Why Timothy.
Tab. Here my mad boyes, have at ye.
Sch. But I say where's their women?
4. Here's Friz and Maudline.
16202. And little Luce with the white legs, and bouncing
1. And freckeled Nel; that never faild her Master.
Sch. Wher be your Ribands maids? swym with your Bodies
And carry it sweetly, and deliverly
And now and then a fauour, and a friske.
1625Nel. Let us alone Sir.
Sch. Wher's the rest o'th Musicke.
3. Dispersd as you commanded.
Sch. Couple then
And see what's wanting; wher's the Bavian?
1630My friend, carry your taile without offence
Or scandall to the Ladies; and be sure
You tumble with audacity, and manhood,
And when you barke doe it with judgement.
Bau. Yes Sir.
1635Sch. Quo usque taudem. Here is a woman wanting
4. We may goe whistle: all the fat's i'th fire.
Sch. We have,
As learned Authours utter, washd a Tile,
We have beene fatuus, and laboured vainely.
16402. This is that scornefull peece, that scurvy hilding
That gave her promise faithfully, she would be here,
Cicely the Sempsters daughter:
The next gloves that I give her shall be dog skin;
Nay and she faile me once, you can tell Arcas
1645She swore by wine, and bread, she would not breake.
Sch. An Eele and woman,
A learned Poet sayes: unles by'th taile
And with thy teeth thou hold, will either faile,
In manners this was false position
16501. A fire ill take her; do's she flinch now?
3. What
Shall we determine Sir?
Sch. Nothing,
Our busines is become a nullity
1655Yea, and a woefull, and a pittious nullity.
4. Now when the credite of our Towne lay on it,
Now to be frampall, now to pisse o'th nettle,
Goe thy waies, ile remember thee, ile fit thee,
Enter Iaylors daughter.
The George alow, came from the South, from
Daughter.The coast of Barbary a.
And there he met with brave gallants of war
By one, by two, by three, a
1665
Well haild, well haild, you jolly gallants,
Chaire and
stooles out
.
And whither now are you bound a
O let me have your company till come to the sound a
There was three fooles, fell out about an howlet
The one sed it was an owle
1670
The other he sed nay,
The third he sed it was a hawke, and her bels wer cut away.
3. Ther's a dainty mad woman Mr. comes i'th Nick as
mad as a march hare: if wee can get her daunce, wee are
made againe: I warrant her, shee'l doe the rarest gambols.
16751. A mad woman? we are made Boyes.
Sch. And are you mad good woman?
Daugh. I would be sorry else,
Give me your hand.
Sch. Why?
1680Daugh. I can tell your fortune.
You are a foole: tell ten, I have pozd him: Buz
Friend you must eate no white bread, if you doe
Your teeth will bleede extreamely, shall we dance ho?
I know you, y'ar a Tinker: Sirha Tinker
1685Stop no more holes, but what you should.
Sch. Dij boni. A Tinker Damzell?
Daug, Or a Conjurer: raise me a devill now, and let him
Quipassa, o'th bels and bones.
Sch, Goe take her, aud fluently perswade her to a peace:
1690Et opus exegi, quod nec Iouis ira, nec ignis.
Strike up, and leade her in.
2, Come Laste, lets trip it.
Daugh. Ile leade.
(Winde Hornes:
3. Doe, doe.
1695Sch. Perswasively, and cunningly: away boyes,
Ex. all but Schoolemaster.
I heare the hornes: give me some
Meditation, and marke your Cue;
Pallas inspire me.
1700
Enter Thes. Pir. Hip. Emil. Arcite: and traine.
Thes. This way the Stag tooke.
Sch. Stay, and edifie.
Thes. What have we here?
Per. Some Countrey sport, upon my life Sir.
1705Per. Well Sir, goe forward, we will edifie.
Ladies sit downe, wee'l stay it.
Sch. Thou doughtie Duke all haile: all haile sweet
Thes. This is a cold beginning.
Sch. If you but favour; our Country pastime made is,
1710We are a few of those collected here
That ruder Tongues distinguish villager,
And to say veritie, and not to fable;
We are a merry rout, or else a rable
Or company, or by a figure, Choris
1715That fore thy dignitie will dance a Morris.
And I that am the rectifier of all
By title Pedagogus, that let fall
The Birch upon the breeches of the small ones,
And humble with a Ferula the tall ones,
1720Doe here present this Machine, or this frame,
And daintie Duke, whose doughtie dismall fame
From Dis to Dedalus, from post to pillar
Is blowne abroad; helpe me thy poore well willer,
And with thy twinckling eyes, looke right and straight
1725Vpon this mighty Morr---of mickle waight
Is---now comes in, which being glewd together
Makes Morris, and the cause that we came hether.
The body of our sport of no small study
I first appeare, though rude, and raw, and muddy,
1730To speake before thy noble grace, this tenner:
At whose great feete I offer up my penner.
The next the Lord of May, and Lady bright,
The Chambermaid, and Servingman by night
That seeke out silent hanging: Then mine Host
1735And his fat Spowse, that welcomes to their cost
The gauled Traveller, and with a beckning
Informes the Tapster to inflame the reckning:
Then the beast eating Clowne, and next the foole,
The Bavian with long tayle, and eke long toole,
1740Cum multis aliijs that make a dance,
Say I, and all shall presently advance.
Thes. I, I by any meanes, deere Domine.
Per. Produce.
Musicke Dance.
Intrate filij, Come forth, and foot it,
Knocke for
Schoole. Enter
The Dance.
1745Ladies, if we have beene merry
And have pleasd thee with a derry,
And a derry, and a downe
Say the Schoolemaster's no Clowne:
Duke, if we have pleasd three too
1750And have done as good Boyes should doe,
Give us but a tree or twaine
For a Maypole, and againe
Ere another yeare run out,
Wee'l make thee laugh and all this rout.
1755Thes. Take 20. Domine; how does my sweet heart.
Hip. Never so pleasd Sir.
Emil. Twas an excellent dance, and for a preface
I never heard a better.
Thes. Schoolemaster, I thanke yon, One see'em all re-
1760Per. And heer's something to paint your Pole withall.
Thes. Now to our sports againe.
Sch. May the Stag thou huntst stand long,
And thy dogs be swift and strong:
May they kill him without lets,
1765And the Ladies eate his dowsets: Come we are all made.
Winde Hornes.
Dij Deæq; omnes, ye have danc'd rarely wenches.
Exeunt.