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Shakespeare on Stage
Folger Shakespeare Library, Twelfth Night. To Jun. 9, 2013.
American Shakespeare Center, Love's Labour's Lost. To Jun. 15, 2013.
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American Shakespeare Center, The Duchess of Malfi. To Jun. 15, 2013.

Two Gentlemen of Verona (Folio 1, 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed

Scena Quarta.
Enter Launce, Protheus, Iulia, Siluia.
1820 Lau. When a mans seruant shall play the Curre with
him (looke you) it goes hard: one that I brought vp of
a puppy: one that I sau'd from drowning, when three or
foure of his blinde brothers and sisters went to it: I haue
taught him (euen as one would say precisely, thus I
1825would teach a dog) I was sent to deliuer him, as a pre-
sent to Mistris Siluia, from my Master; and I came no
sooner into the dyning-chamber, but he steps me to her
Trencher, and steales her Capons-leg: O, 'tis a foule
thing, when a Cur cannot keepe himselfe in all compa-
1830nies: I would haue (as one should say) one that takes vp-
on him to be a dog indeede, to be, as it were, a dog at all
things. If I had not had more wit then he, to take a fault
vpon me that he did, I thinke verily hee had bin hang'd
for't: sure as I liue he had suffer'd for't: you shall iudge:
1835Hee thrusts me himselfe into the company of three or
foure gentleman-like-dogs, vnder the Dukes table: hee
had not bin there (blesse the marke) a pissing while, but
all the chamber smelt him: out with the dog (saies one)
what cur is that (saies another) whip him out (saies the
1840third) hang him vp (saies the Duke.) I hauing bin ac-
quainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and
goes me to the fellow that whips the dogges: friend
(quoth I) you meane to whip the dog: I marry doe I
(quoth he) you doe him the more wrong (quoth I) 'twas
1845I did the thing you wot of: he makes me no more adoe,
but whips me out of the chamber: how many Masters
would doe this for his Seruant? nay, ile be sworne I haue
sat in the stockes, for puddings he hath stolne, otherwise
he had bin executed: I haue stood on the Pillorie for
1850Geese he hath kil'd, otherwise he had sufferd for't: thou
think'st not of this now: nay, I remember the tricke you
seru'd me, when I tooke my leaue of Madam Siluia: did
not I bid thee still marke me, and doe as I do; when did'st
thou see me heaue vp my leg, and make water against a
1855Gentlewomans farthingale? did'st thou euer see me doe
such a tricke?
Pro. Sebastian is thy name: I like thee well,
And will imploy thee in some seruice presently.
Iu. In what you please, ile doe what I can.
1860Pro. I hope thou wilt.
How now you whor-son pezant,
Where haue you bin these two dayes loytering?
La. Marry Sir, I carried Mistris Siluia the dogge you
bad me.
1865Pro. And what saies she to my little Iewell?
La. Marry she saies your dog was a cur, and tels you
currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
Pro. But she receiu'd my dog?
La. No indeede did she not:
1870Here haue I brought him backe againe.
Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me?
La. I Sir, the other Squirrill was stolne from me
By the Hangmans boyes in the market place,
And then I offer'd her mine owne, who is a dog
1875As big as ten of yours, & therefore the guift the greater.
Pro. Goe, get thee hence, and finde my dog againe,
Or nere returne againe into my sight.
Away, I say: stayest thou to vexe me here;
A Slaue, that still an end, turnes me to shame:
1880Sebastian, I haue entertained thee,
Partly that I haue neede of such a youth,
That can with some discretion doe my businesse:
For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish Lowt;
But chiefely, for thy face, and thy behauiour,
1885Which (if my Augury deceiue me not)
Witnesse good bringing vp, fortune, and truth:
Therefore know thee, for this I entertaine thee.
Go presently, and take this Ring with thee,
Deliuer it to Madam Siluia;
1890She lou'd me well, deliuer'd it to me.
Iul. It seemes you lou'd not her, not leaue her token:
She is dead belike?
Pro. Not so: I thinke she liues.
Iul. Alas.
1895Pro. Why do'st thou cry alas?
Iul. I cannot choose but pitty her.
Pro. Wherefore should'st thou pitty her?
Iul. Because, me thinkes that she lou'd you as well
As you doe loue your Lady Siluia:
1900She dreames on him, that has forgot her loue,
You doate on her, that cares not for your loue.
'Tis pitty Loue, should be so contrary:
And thinking on it, makes me cry alas.
Pro. Well: giue her that Ring, and therewithall
1905This Letter: that's her chamber: Tell my Lady,
I claime the promise for her heauenly Picture:
Your message done, hye home vnto my chamber,
Where thou shalt finde me sad, and solitarie.
Iul. How many women would doe such a message?
1910Alas poore Protheus, thou hast entertain'd
A Foxe, to be the Shepheard of thy Lambs;
Alas, poore foole, why doe I pitty him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loues her, he despiseth me,
1915Because I loue him, I must pitty him.
This Ring I gaue him, when he parted from me,
To binde him to remember my good will:
And now am I (vnhappy Messenger)
To plead for that, which I would not obtaine;
1920To carry that, which I would haue refus'd;
To praise his faith, which I would haue disprais'd.
I am my Masters true confirmed Loue,
But cannot be true seruant to my Master,
Vnlesse I proue false traitor to my selfe.
1925Yet will I woe for him, but yet so coldly,
As (heauen it knowes) I would not haue him speed.
Gentlewoman, good day: I pray you be my meane
To bring me where to speake with Madam Siluia.
Sil. What would you with her, if that I be she?
1930Iul. If you be she, I doe intreat your patience
To heare me speake the message I am sent on.
Sil. From whom?
Iul. From my Master, Sir Protheus, Madam.
Sil. Oh: he sends you for a Picture?
1935Iul. I, Madam.
Sil. Vrsula, bring my Picture there,
Goe, giue your Master this: tell him from me,
One Iulia, that his changing thoughts forget
Would better fit his Chamber, then this Shadow.
1940Iul. Madam, please you peruse this Letter;
Pardon me (Madam) I haue vnaduis'd
Deliuer'd you a paper that I should not;
This is the Letter to your Ladiship.
Sil. I pray thee let me looke on that againe.
1945Iul. It may not be: good Madam pardon me.
Sil. There, hold:
I will not looke vpon your Masters lines:
I know they are stuft with protestations,
And full of new-found oathes, which he will breake
1950As easily as I doe teare his paper.
Iul. Madam, he sends your Ladiship this Ring.
Sil. The more shame for him, that he sends it me;
For I haue heard him say a thousand times,
His Iulia gaue it him, at his departure:
1955Though his false finger haue prophan'd the Ring,
Mine shall not doe his Iulia so much wrong.
Iul. She thankes you.
Sil. What sai'st thou?
Iul. I thanke you Madam, that you tender her:
1960Poore Gentlewoman, my Master wrongs her much.
Sil. Do'st thou know her?
Iul. Almost as well as I doe know my selfe.
To thinke vpon her woes, I doe protest
That I haue wept a hundred seuerall times.
1965 Sil. Belike she thinks that Protheus hath forsook her?
Iul. I thinke she doth: and that's her cause of sorrow.
Sil. Is she not passing faire?
Iul. She hath bin fairer (Madam) then she is,
When she did thinke my Master lou'd her well;
1970She, in my iudgement, was as faire as you.
But since she did neglect her looking-glasse,
And threw her Sun-expelling Masque away,
The ayre hath staru'd the roses in her cheekes,
And pinch'd the lilly-tincture of her face,
1975That now she is become as blacke as I.
Sil. How tall was she?
Iul. About my stature: for at Pentecost,
When all our Pageants of delight were plaid,
Our youth got me to play the womans part,
1980And I was trim'd in Madam Iulias gowne,
Which serued me as fit, by all mens iudgements,
As if the garment had bin made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height,
And at that time I made her weepe a good,
1985For I did play a lamentable part.
(Madam) 'twas Ariadne, passioning
For Thesus periury, and vniust flight;
Which I so liuely acted with my teares:
That my poore Mistris moued therewithall,
1990Wept bitterly: and would I might be dead,
If I in thought felt not her very sorrow.
Sil. She is beholding to thee (gentle youth)
Alas (poore Lady) desolate, and left;
I weepe my selfe to thinke vpon thy words:
1995Here youth: there is my purse; I giue thee this
For thy sweet Mistris sake, because thou lou'st her. Fare-
Iul. And she shall thanke you for't, if ere you know
A vertuous gentlewoman, milde, and beautifull.
I hope my Masters suit will be but cold,
2000Since she respects my Mistris loue so much.
Alas, how loue can trifle with it selfe:
Here is her Picture: let me see, I thinke
If I had such a Tyre, this face of mine
Were full as louely, as is this of hers;
2005And yet the Painter flatter'd her a little,
Vnlesse I flatter with my selfe too much.
Her haire is Aburne, mine is perfect Yellow;
If that be all the difference in his loue,
Ile get me such a coulour'd Perrywig:
2010Her eyes are grey as glasse, and so are mine.:I, but her fore-head's low, and mine's as high:
What should it be that he respects in her,
But I can make respectiue in my selfe?
If this fond Loue, were not a blinded god.
2015Come shadow, come, and take this shadow vp,
For 'tis thy riuall: O thou sencelesse forme,
Thou shalt be worship'd, kiss'd, lou'd, and ador'd;
And were there sence in his Idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
2020Ile vse thee kindly, for thy Mistris sake
That vs'd me so: or else by Ioue, I vow,
I should haue scratch'd out your vnseeing eyes,
To make my Master out of loue with thee.
Exeunt.