Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
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Two Gentlemen of Verona (Folio 1, 1623)


The two Gentlemen of Verona.
21
100 Sp. I Sir: I (a lost-Mutton) gaue your Letter to her
(a lac'd-Mutton) and she (a lac'd-Mutton) gaue mee (a
lost-Mutton) nothing for my labour.
Pro. Here's too small a Pasture for such store of
Muttons.
105 Sp. If the ground be ouer-charg'd, you were best
sticke her.
Pro. Nay, in that you are astray: 'twere best pound
you.
Sp. Nay Sir, lesse then a pound shall serue me for car-
110rying your Letter.
Pro. You mistake; I meane the pound, a Pinfold.
Sp. From a pound to a pin? fold it ouer and ouer,
'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your louer
Pro. But what said she?
115Sp. I.
Pro. Nod-I, why that's noddy.
Sp. You mistooke Sir: I say she did nod;
And you aske me if she did nod, and I say I.
Pro. And that set together is noddy.
120 Sp. Now you haue taken the paines to set it toge-
ther, take it for your paines.
Pro. No, no, you shall haue it for bearing the letter.
Sp. Well, I perceiue I must be faine to beare with you.
Pro. Why Sir, how doe you beare with me?
125Sp. Marry Sir, the letter very orderly,
Hauing nothing but the word noddy for my paines.
Pro. Beshrew me, but you haue a quicke wit.
Sp. And yet it cannot ouer-take your slow purse.
Pro. Come, come, open the matter in briefe; what
130said she.
Sp. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter
may be both at once deliuered.
Pro. Well Sir: here is for your paines: what said she?
Sp. Truely Sir, I thinke you'll hardly win her.
135 Pro. Why? could'st thou perceiue so much from her?
Sp. Sir, I could perceiue nothing at all from her;
No, not so much as a ducket for deliuering your letter:
And being so hard to me, that brought your minde;
I feare she'll proue as hard to you in telling your minde.
140Giue her no token but stones, for she's as hard as steele.
Pro. What said she, nothing?
Sp. No, not so much as take this for thy pains:
To testifie your bounty, I thank you, you haue cestern'd
In requital whereof, henceforth, carry your letters your
145selfe; And so Sir, I'le commend you to my Master.
Pro. Go, go, be gone, to saue your Ship from wrack,
Which cannot perish hauing thee aboarde,
Being destin'd to a drier death on shore:
I must goe send some better Messenger,
150I feare my Iulia would not daigne my lines,
Receiuing them from such a worthlesse post.
Exit.



Scœna Secunda.



Enter Iulia and Lucetta.

Iul. But say Lucetta (now we are alone)
155Would'st thou then counsaile me to fall in loue?
Luc. I Madam, so you stumble not vnheedfully.
Iul. Of all the faire resort of Gentlemen,
That euery day with par'le encounter me,
In thy opinion which is worthiest loue?
160 Lu. Please you repeat their names, ile shew my minde,
According to my shallow simple skill.
Iu. What thinkst thou of the faire sir Eglamoure?
Lu. As of a Knight, well-spoken, neat, and fine;
But were I you, he neuer should be mine.
165Iu. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
Lu. Well of his wealth; but of himselfe, so, so.
Iu. What think'st thou of the gentle Protheus?
Lu. Lord, Lord: to see what folly raignes in vs.
Iu. How now? what meanes this passion at his name?
170Lu. Pardon deare Madam, 'tis a passing shame,
That I (vnworthy body as I am)
Should censure thus on louely Gentlemen.
Iu. Why not on Protheus, as of all the rest?
Lu. Then thus: of many good, I thinke him best.
175Iul. Your reason?
Lu. I haue no other but a womans reason:
I thinke him so, because I thinke him so.
Iul. And would'st thou haue me cast my loue on him?
Lu. I: if you thought your loue not cast away.
180Iul. Why he, of all the rest, hath neuer mou'd me.
Lu. Yet he, of all the rest, I thinke best loues ye.
Iul. His little speaking, shewes his loue but small.
Lu. Fire that's closest kept, burnes most of all.
Iul. They doe not loue, that doe not shew their loue.
185Lu. Oh, they loue least, that let men know their loue.
Iul. I would I knew his minde.
Lu. Peruse this paper Madam.
Iul. To Iulia: say, from whom?
Lu. That the Contents will shew.
190Iul. Say, say: who gaue it thee?
Lu. Sir Valentines page: & sent I think from Protheus;
He would haue giuen it you, but I being in the way,
Did in your name receiue it: pardon the fault I pray.
Iul. Now (by my modesty) a goodly Broker:
195Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
To whisper, and conspire against my youth?
Now trust me, 'tis an office of great worth,
And you an officer fit for the place:
There: take the paper: see it be return'd,
200Or else returne no more into my sight.
Lu. To plead for loue, deserues more fee, then hate.
Iul. Will ye be gon?
Lu. That you may ruminate.
Exit.
Iul. And yet I would I had ore-look'd the Letter;
205It were a shame to call her backe againe,
And pray her to a fault, for which I chid her.
What 'foole is she, that knowes I am a Maid,
And would not force the letter to my view?
Since Maides, in modesty, say no, to that,
210Which they would haue the profferer construe, I.
Fie, fie: how way-ward is this foolish loue;
That (like a testie Babe) will scratch the Nurse,
And presently, all humbled kisse the Rod?
How churlishly, I chid Lucetta hence,
215When willingly, I would haue had her here?
How angerly I taught my brow to frowne,
When inward ioy enforc'd my heart to smile?
My pennance is, to call Lucetta backe
And aske remission, for my folly past.
220What hoe: Lucetta.
Lu. What would your Ladiship?
Iul. Is't neere dinner time?
Lu. I would it were,
That you might kill your stomacke on your meat,
And