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American Shakespeare Center, The Duchess of Malfi. To Jun. 15, 2013.
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The Taming of the Shrew (Folio 1, 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Erin Kelly
Not Peer Reviewed
Actus Quartus. Scena Prima.
Enter Katherina and Grumio.
Gru. No, no forsooth I dare not for my life.
1980Ka. The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marrie me to famish me?
Beggers that come vnto my fathers doore,
Vpon intreatie haue a present almes,
If not, elsewhere they meete with charitie:
1985But I, who neuer knew how to intreat,
Nor neuer needed that I should intreate,
Am staru'd for meate, giddie for lacke of sleepe:
With oathes kept waking, and with brawling fed,
And that which spights me more then all these wants,
1990He does it vnder name of perfect loue:
As who should say. if I should sleepe or eate
'Twere deadly sicknesse, or else present death.
I prethee go, aud get me some repast,
I care not what, so it be holsome foode.
1995Gru. What say you to a Neats foote?
Kate. 'Tis passing good, I prethee let me haue it.
Gru. I feare it is too chollericke a meate.
How say you to a fat Tripe finely broyl'd?
Kate. I like it well, good Grumio fetch it me.
2000Gru. I cannot tell, I feare 'tis chollericke.
What say you to a peece of Beefe and Mustard?
Kate. A dish that I do loue to feede vpon.
Gru. I, but the Mustard is too hot a little.
Kate. Why then the Beefe, and let the Mustard rest.
2005Gru. Nay then I wil not, you shal haue the Mustard
Or else you get no beefe of Grumio.
Kate. Then both or one, or any thing thou wilt.
Gru. Why then the Mustard without the beefe.
Kate. Go get thee gone, thou false deluding slaue,
2010
Beats him.
That feed'st me with the verie name of meate.
Sorrow on thee, and all the packe of you
That triumph thus vpon my misery:
Go get thee gone, I say.
2015
Enter Petruchio, and Hortensio with meate.
Petr. How fares my Kate, what sweeting all a-mort?
Hor. Mistris, what cheere?
Kate. Faith as cold as can be.
Pet. Plucke vp thy spirits, looke cheerfully vpon me.
2020Heere Loue, thou seest how diligent I am,
To dresse thy meate my selfe, and bring it thee.
I am sure sweet Kate, this kindnesse merites thankes.
What, not a word? Nay then, thou lou'st it not:
And all my paines is sorted to no proofe.
2025Heere take away this dish.
Kate. I pray you let it stand.
Pet. The poorest seruice is repaide with thankes,
And so shall mine before you touch the meate.
Kate. I thanke you sir.
2030Hor. Signior Petruchio, fie you are too blame:
Come Mistris Kate, Ile beare you companie.
Petr. Eate it vp all Hortensio, if thou louest mee:
Much good do it vnto thy gentle heart:
Kate eate apace; and now my honie Loue,
2035Will we returne vnto thy Fathers house,
And reuell it as brauely as the best,
With silken coats and caps, and golden Rings,
With Ruffes and Cuffes, and Fardingales, and things:
With Scarfes, and Fannes, & double change of brau'ry,
2040With Amber Bracelets, Beades, and all this knau'ry.
What hast thou din'd? The Tailor staies thy leasure,
To decke thy bodie with his ruffling treasure.
Enter Tailor.
Come Tailor, let vs see these ornaments.
2045
Enter Haberdasher.
Lay forth the gowne. What newes with you sir?
Fel. Heere is the cap your Worship did bespeake.
Pet. Why this was moulded on a porrenger,
A Veluet dish: Fie, fie, 'tis lewd and filthy,
2050Why 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knacke, a toy, a tricke, a babies cap:
Away with it, come let me haue a bigger.
Kate. Ile haue no bigger, this doth fit the time,
And Gentlewomen weare such caps as these.
2055Pet. When you are gentle, you shall haue one too,
And not till then.
Hor. That will not be in hast.
Kate. Why sir I trust I may haue leaue to speake,
And speake I will. I am no childe, no babe,
2060Your betters haue indur'd me say my minde,
And If you cannot, best you stop your eares.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or els my heart concealing it wil breake,
And rather then it shall, I will be free,
2065Euen to the vttermost as I please in words.
Pet. Why thou saist true, it is paltrie cap,
A custard coffen, a bauble, a silken pie,
I loue thee well in that thou lik'st it not.
Kate. Loue me, or loue me not, I like the cap,
2070And it I will haue, or I will haue none.
Pet. Thy gowne, why I: come Tailor let vs see't.
Oh mercie God, what masking stuffe is heere?
Whats this? a sleeue? 'tis like demi cannon,
What, vp and downe caru'd like an apple Tart?
2075Heers snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash,
Like to a Censor in a barbers shoppe:
Why what a deuils name Tailor cal'st thou this?
Hor. I see shees like to haue neither cap nor gowne.
Tai. You bid me make it orderlie and well,
2080According to the fashion, and the time.
Pet. Marrie and did: but if you be remembred,
I did not bid you marre it to the time.
Go hop me ouer euery kennell home,
For you shall hop without my custome sir:
2085Ile none of it; hence, make your best of it.
Kate. I neuer saw a better fashion'd gowne,
More queint, more pleasing, nor more commendable:
Belike you meane to make a puppet of me.
Pet. Why true, he meanes to make a puppet of thee.
2090Tail. She saies your Worship meanes to make a
puppet of her.
Pet. Oh monstrous arrogance:
Thou lyest, thou thred, thou thimble,
Thou yard three quarters, halfe yard, quarter, naile,
2095Thou Flea, thou Nit, thou winter cricket thou:
Brau'd in mine owne house with a skeine of thred:
Away thou Ragge, thou quantitie, thou remnant,
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard,
As thou shalt thinke on prating whil'st thou liu'st:
2100I tell thee I, that thou hast marr'd her gowne.
Tail. Your worship is deceiu'd, the gowne is made
Iust as my master had direction:
Grumio gaue order how it should be done.
Gru. I gaue him no order, I gaue him the stuffe.
2105Tail. But how did you desire it should be made?
Gru. Marrie sir with needle and thred.
Tail. But did you not request to haue it cut?
Gru. Thou hast fac'd many things.
Tail. I haue.
2110Gru. Face not mee: thou hast brau'd manie men,
braue not me; I will neither bee fac'd nor brau'd. I say
vnto thee, I bid thy Master cut out the gowne, but I did
not bid him cut it to peeces. Ergo thou liest.
Tail. Why heere is the note of the fashion to testify.
2115Pet. Reade it.
Gru. The note lies in's throate if he say I said so.
Tail. Inprimis, a loose bodied gowne.
Gru. Master, if euer I said loose-bodied gowne, sow
me in the skirts of it, and beate me to death with a bot-
2120tome of browne thred: I said a gowne.
Pet. Proceede.
Tai. With a small compast cape.
Gru. I confesse the cape.
Tai. With a trunke sleeue.
2125Gru. I confesse two sleeues.
Tai: The sleeues curiously cut.
Pet. I there's the villanie.
Gru. Error i'th bill sir, error i'th bill? I commanded
the sleeues should be cut out, and sow'd vp againe, and
2130that Ile proue vpon thee, though thy little finger be ar-
med in a thimble.
Tail. This is true that I say, and I had thee in place
where thou shouldst know it.
Gru. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, giue
2135me thy meat-yard, and spare not me.
Hor. God-a-mercie Grumio, then hee shall haue no
oddes.
Pet. Well sir in breefe the gowne is not for me.
Gru. You are i'th right sir, 'tis for my mistris.
2140Pet. Go take it vp vnto thy masters vse.
Gru. Villaine, not for thy life: Take vp my Mistresse
gowne for thy masters vse.
Pet. Why sir, what's your conceit in that?
Gru. Oh sir, the conceit is deeper then you think for:
2145Take vp my Mistris gowne to his masters vse.
Oh fie, fie, fie.
Pet. Hortensio, say thou wilt see the Tailor paide:
Go take it hence, be gone, and say no more.
Hor. Tailor, Ile pay thee for thy gowne to morrow,
2150Take no vnkindnesse of his hastie words:
Away I say, commend me to thy master.
Exit Tail.
Pet. Well, come my Kate, we will vnto your fathers,
Euen in these honest meane habiliments:
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poore:
2155For 'tis the minde that makes the bodie rich.
And as the Sunne breakes through the darkest clouds,
So honor peereth in the meanest habit.
What is the Iay more precious then the Larke?
Because his feathers are more beautifull.
2160Or is the Adder better then the Eele,
Because his painted skin contents the eye.
Oh no good Kate: neither art thou the worse
For this poore furniture, and meane array.
If thou accountedst it shame, lay it on me,
2165And therefore frolicke, we will hence forthwith,
To feast and sport vs at thy fathers house,
Go call my men, and let vs straight to him,
And bring our horses vnto Long-lane end,
There wil we mount, and thither walke on foote,
2170Let's see, I thinke 'tis now some seuen a clocke,
And well we may come there by dinner time.
Kate. I dare assure you sir, 'tis almost two,
And 'twill be supper time ere you come there.
Pet. It shall be seuen ere I go to horse:
2175Looke what I speake, or do, or thinke to doe,
You are still crossing it, sirs let't alone,
I will not goe to day, and ere I doe,
It shall be what a clock I say it is.
Hor. Why so this gallant will command the sunne.