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The Taming of the Shrew (Folio 1, 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Erin Kelly
Not Peer Reviewed
1640Gru.: Fie, fie on all tired Iades, on all mad Masters, &
all foule waies: was euer man so beaten? was euer man
so raide? was euer man so weary? I am sent before to
make a fire, and they are comming after to warme them:
now were not I a little pot,& soone hot; my very lippes
1645might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roofe of my
mouth, my heart in my belly, ere l should come by a fire
to thaw me, but I with blowing the fire shall warme my
selfe: for considering the weather, a taller man then I
will take cold: Holla, hoa (urtis.
1650
Enter Curtis.
Curt. Who is that calls so coldly?
Gru. A piece of Ice: if thou doubt it, thou maist
slide from my shoulder to my heele, with no
greater a run but my head and my necke. A fire good
1655Curtis.
Cur. Is my master and his wife comming Grumio?
Gru. Oh I Curtis I, and therefore fire, fire, cast on no
water.
Cur. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported.
1660Gru. She was good Curtis before this frost: but thou
know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast: for it
hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistris, and my
selfe fellow Curtis.
Gru. Away you three inch foole, I am no beast.
1665Gru. Am I but three inches? Why thy horne is a foot
and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire,
or shall I complaine on thee to our mistris, whose hand
(she being now at hand) thou shalt soone feele, to thy
cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
1670Cur. I prethee good Grumio, tell me, how goes the
world?
Gru. A cold world Curtis in euery office but thine, &
therefore fire: do thy duty, and haue thy dutie, for my
Master and mistris are almost frozen to death.
1675Cur. There's fire readie, and therefore good Grumio
the newes.
Gru. Why Iacke boy, ho boy, and as much newes as
wilt thou.
Cur. Come, you are so full of conicatching.
1680Gru. Why therefore fire, for I haue caught extreme
cold. Where's the Cooke, is supper ready, the house
trim'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the seruingmen
in their new fustian, the white stockings, and euery offi-
cer his wedding garment on? Be the Iackes faire with-
1685in, the Gils faire without, the Carpets laide, and euerie
thing in order?
Cur. All readie: and therefore I pray thee newes.
Gru. First know my horse is tired, my master & mi-
stris falne out.
Cur. How?
1690Gru. Out of their saddles into the durt, and thereby
hangs a tale.
Cur. Let's ha't good Grumio.
Gru. Lend thine eare.
Cur. Heere.
1695Gru. There.
Cur. This 'tis to feele a tale, not to heare a tale.
Gru. And therefore 'tis cal'd a sensible tale: and this
Cuffe was but to knocke at your eare, and beseech list-
ning: now I begin, Inprimis wee came downe a fowle
1700hill, my Master riding behinde my Mistris.
Cur. Both of one horse?
Gru. What's that to thee?
Cur. Why a horse.
Gru. Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crost me,
1705thou shouldst haue heard how her horse fel, and she vn-
der her horse: thou shouldst haue heard in how miery a
place, how she was bemoil'd, how hee left her with the
horse vpon her, how he beat me because her horse stum-
bled, how she waded through the durt to plucke him off
1710me: how he swore, how she prai'd, that neuer prai'd be-
fore: how I cried, how the horses ranne away, how her
bridle was burst: how I lost my crupper, with manie
things of worthy memorie, which now shall die in obli-
uion, and thou returne vnexperienc'd to thy graue.
1715Cur. By this reckning he is more shrew than she.
Gru. I, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall
finde when he comes home. But what talke I of this?
Call forth Nathaniel, Ioseph, Nicholas, Phillip, Walter, Su-
gersop and the rest: let their heads bee slickely comb'd,
1720their blew coats brush'd, and their garters of an indiffe-
rent knit, let them curtsie with their left legges, and not
presume to touch a haire of my Masters horse-taile, till
they kisse their hands. Are they all readie?
Cur. They are.
1725Gru. Call them forth.
Cur. Do you heare ho? you must meete my maister
to countenance my mistris.
Gru. Why she hath a face of her owne.
Cur. Who knowes not that?
1730Gru. Thou it seemes, that cals for company to coun-
tenance her.
Cur. I call them forth to credit her.
Enter foure or fiue seruingmen.
Gru. Why she comes to borrow nothing of them.
1735Nat. Welcome home Grumio.
Phil. How now Grumio.
Ios. What Grumio.
Nick. Fellow Grumio.
Nat. How now old lad.
1740Gru. Welcome you: how now you: what you: fel-
low you: and thus much for greeting. Now my spruce
companions, is all readie, and all things neate?
Nat. All things is readie, how neere is our master?
Gre. E'ne at hand, alighted by this: and therefore be
1745not--- Cockes passion, silence, I heare my master.
Enter Petruchio and Kate.
Pet. Where be these knaues? What no man at doore
To hold my stirrop, nor to take my horse?
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Phillip.
1750All ser. Heere, heere sir, heere sir.
Pet. Heere sir, heere sir, heere sir, heere sir.
You logger-headed and vnpollisht groomes:
What? no attendance? no regard? no dutie?
Where is the foolish knaue I sent before?
1755Gru. Heere sir, as foolish as I was before.
Pet. You pezant, swain, you horson malt-horse drudg
Did I not bid thee meete me in the Parke,
And bring along these rascal knaues with thee?
Grumio. Nathaniels coate sir was not fully made,
1760And Gabrels pumpes were all vnpinkt i'th heele:
There was no Linke to colour Peters hat,
And Walters dagger was not come from sheathing:
There were none fine, but Adam, Rafe, and Gregory,
The rest were ragged, old, and beggerly,
1765Yet as they are, heere are they come to meete you.
Pet. Go rascals, go, and fetch my supper in. Ex. Ser.
Where is the life that late I led?
Where are those? Sit downe Kate,
And welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud.
1770
Enter seruants with supper.
Why when I say? Nay good sweete Kate be merrie.
Off with my boots, you rogues: you villaines, when?
It was the Friar of Orders gray,
As he forth walked on his way.
1775Out you rogue, you plucke my foote awrie,
Take that, and mend the plucking of the other.
Be merrie Kate: Some water heere: what hoa.
Enter one with water.
Where's my Spaniel Troilus? Sirra, get you hence,
1780And bid my cozen Ferdinand come hither:
One Kate that you must kisse, and be acquainted with.
Where are my Slippers? Shall I haue some water?
Come Kate and wash,& welcome heartily:
you horson villaine, will you let it fall?
1785Kate. Patience I pray you, 'twas a fault vnwilling.
Pet. A horson beetle-headed flap-ear'd knaue:
Come Kate sit downe, I know you haue a stomacke,
Will you giue thankes, sweete Kate, or else shall I?
What's this, Mutton?
17901.Ser. I.
Pet. Who brought it?
Peter. I.
Pet. 'Tis burnt, and so is all the meate:
What dogges are these? Where is the rascall Cooke?
1795How durst you villaines bring it from the dresser
And serue it thus to me that loue it not?
There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all:
You heedlesse iolt-heads, and vnmanner'd slaues.
What, do you grumble? Ile be with you straight.
1800Kate. I pray you husband be not so disquiet,
The meate was well, if you were so contented.
Pet. I tell thee Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,
And I expressely am forbid to touch it:
For it engenders choller, planteth anger,
1805And better 'twere that both of vs did fast,
Since of our selues, our selues are chollericke,
Then feede it with such ouer-rosted flesh:
Be patient, to morrow't shalbe mended,
And for this night we'l fast for companie.
1810Come I wil bring thee to thy Bridall chamber.
Exeunt.
Enter Seruants seuerally.
Nath. Peter didst euer see the like.
Peter. He kils her in her owne humor.
Grumio. Where is he?
1815
Enter Curtis a Seruant.
Cur. In her chamber, making a sermon of continen-
cie to her, and railes, and sweares, and rates, that shee
(poore soule) knowes not which way to stand, to looke,
to speake, and sits as one new risen from a dreame. A-
1820way, away, for he is comming hither.
Enter Petruchio.
Pet. Thus haue I politickely begun my reigne,
And 'tis my hope to end successefully:
My Faulcon now is sharpe, and passing emptie,
1825And til she stoope, she must not be full gorg'd,
For then she neuer lookes vpon her lure.
Another way I haue to man my Haggard,
To make her come, and know her Keepers call:
That is, to watch her, as we watch these Kites,
1830That baite, and beate, and will not be obedient:
She eate no meate to day, nor none shall eate.
Last night she slept not, nor to night she shall not:
As with the meate, some vndeserued fault
Ile finde about the making of the bed,
1835And heere Ile fling the pillow, there the boulster,
This way the Couerlet, another way the sheets:
I, and amid this hurlie I intend,
That all is done in reuerend care of her,
And in conclusion, she shal watch all night,
1840And if she chance to nod, Ile raile and brawle,
And with the clamor keepe her stil awake:
This is a way to kil a Wife with kindnesse,
And thus Ile curbe her mad and headstrong humor:
He that knowes better how to tame a shrew,
1845Now let him speake, 'tis charity to shew.
Exit