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Romeo and Juliet (Folio 1, 1623)

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Roger Apfelbaum
Not Peer Reviewed
62
The Tragedie of Romeo and Juliet.
French slop: you gaue vs the the counterfait fairely last
1150night.
Romeo. Good morrow to you both, what counterfeit
did I giue you?
Mer. The slip sir, the slip, can you not conceiue?
Rom. Pardon Mercutio, my businesse was great, and in
1155such a case as mine, a man may straine curtesie.
Mer. That's as much as to say, such a case as yours con-
strains a man to bow in the hams.
Rom. Meaning to cursie.
Mer. Thou hast most kindly hit it.
1160Rom. A most curteous exposition.
Mer. Nay, I am the very pinck of curtesie.
Rom. Pinke for flower.
Mer. Right.
Rom. Why then is my Pump well flowr'd.
1165Mer. Sure wit, follow me this ieast, now till thou hast
worne out thy Pump, that when the single sole of it is
worne, the ieast may remaine after the wearing, sole-
singular.
Rom. O single sol'd ieast,
1170Soly singular for the singlenesse.
Mer. Come betweene vs good Benuolio, my wits faints.
Rom. Swits and spurs,
Swits and spurs, or Ile crie a match.
Mer. Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am
1175done: For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of
thy wits, then I am sure I haue in my whole fiue. Was I
with you there for the Goose?
Rom. Thou wast neuer with mee for any thing, when
thou wast not there for the Goose.
1180Mer. I will bite thee by the eare for that iest.
Rom. Nay, good Goose bite not.
Mer. Thy wit is a very Bitter-sweeting,
It is a most sharpe sawce.
Rom. And is it not well seru'd into a Sweet-Goose?
1185Mer. Oh here's a wit of Cheuerell, that stretches from
an ynch narrow, to an ell broad.
Rom. I stretch it out for that word, broad, which added
to the Goose, proues thee farre and wide, abroad Goose.
Mer. Why is not this better now, then groning for
1190Loue, now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo: now art
thou what thou art, by Art as well as by Nature, for this
driueling Loue is like a great Naturall, that runs lolling
vp and downe to hid his bable in a hole.
Ben. Stop there, stop there.
1195Mer. Thou desir'st me to stop in my tale against the
Ben. Thou would'st else haue made thy tale large.
Mer. O thou art deceiu'd, I would haue made it short,
or I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant
indeed to occupie the argument no longer.

1200
Enter Nurse and her man.
Rom. Here's goodly geare.
A sayle, a sayle.
Mer. Two, two: a Shirt and a Smocke.
Nur. Peter?
1205Peter. Anon.
Nur. My Fan Peter?
Mer. Good Peter to hide her face?
For her Fans the fairer face?
Nur. God ye good morrow Gentlemen.
1210Mer. God ye gooden faire Gentlewoman.
Nur. Is it gooden?
Mer. 'Tis no lesse I tell you: for the bawdy hand of the
Dyall is now vpon the pricke of Noone.
Nur. Out vpon you: what a man are you?
1215Rom. One Gentlewoman,
That God hath made, himselfe to mar.
Nur. By my troth it is said, for himselfe to, mar qua-
tha: Gentlemen, can any of you tel me where I may find
the young Romeo?
1220Romeo. I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older
when you haue found him, then he was when you sought
him: I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
Nur. You say well.
Mer. Yea is the worst well,
1225Very well tooke: Ifaith, wisely, wisely.
Nur. If you be he sir,
I desire some confidence with you?
Ben. She will endite him to some Supper.
Mer. A baud, a baud, a baud. So ho.
1230Rom. What hast thou found?
Mer. No Hare sir, vnlesse a Hare sir in a Lenten pie,
that is something stale and hoare ere it be spent.
An old Hare hoare, and an old Hare hoare is very good
meat in Lent.
1235But a Hare that is hoare is too much for a score, when it
hoares ere it be spent,
Romeo will you come to your Fathers? Weele to dinner
thither.
Rom. I will follow you.
1240Mer. Farewell auncient Lady:
Farewell Lady, Lady, Lady.
Exit. Mercutio, Benuolio.
Nur. I pray you sir, what sawcie Merchant was this
that was so full of his roperie?
1245Rom. A Gentleman Nurse, that loues to heare himselfe
talke, and will speake more in a minute, then he will stand
to in a Moneth.
Nur. And a speake any thing against me, Ile take him
downe, & a were lustier then he is, and twentie such Iacks:
1250and if I cannot, Ile finde those that shall: scuruie knaue, I
am none of his flurt-gils, I am none of his skaines mates,
and thou must stand by too and suffer euery knaue to vse
me at his pleasure.
Pet. I saw no man vse you at his pleasure: if I had, my
1255weapon should quickly haue beene out, I warrant you, I
dare draw assoone as another man, if I see occasion in a
good quarrell, and the law on my side.
Nur. Now afore God, I am so vext, that euery part about
me quiuers, skuruy knaue: pray you sir a word: and as I
1260told you, my young Lady bid me enquire you out, what
she bid me say, I will keepe to my selfe: but first let me
tell ye, if ye should leade her in a fooles paradise, as they
say, it were a very grosse kind of behauiour, as they say:
for the Gentlewoman is yong: & therefore, if you should
1265deale double with her, truely it were an ill thing to be of-
fered to any Gentlewoman, and very weake dealing.
Nur. Nurse commend me to thy Lady and Mistresse, I
protest vnto thee.
Nur. Good heart, and yfaith I will tell her as much:
1270Lord, Lord she will be a ioyfull woman.
Rom. What wilt thou tell her Nurse? thou doest not
marke me?
Nur. I will tell her sir, that you do protest, which as I
take it, is a Gentleman-like offer.
1275Rom. Bid her deuise some meanes to come to shrift this
And there she shall at Frier Lawrence Cell
Be shriu'd and married: here is for thy paines.
Nur. No truly sir not a penny.
Rom. Go too, I say you shall.
Nurse