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The Puritan Widow (Folio 3, 1664)

Author: Anonymous
Not Peer Reviewed
Enter Sir Oliver Muck-hill, Sir Andrew Tipstaffe,
2220
and old Skirmish talking.
Muck. O monstrous unheard of forgery.
Tip. Knight, I never heard of such villany in our own
Countrey, in my life.
Muck. Why 'tis impossible. dare you maintain your
2225words?
Skir. Dare we? e'ne to their wezen pipes: we know
all their plots, they cannot squander with us, they have
knavishly abus'd us, made onely properties on's to ad[-}
vance their selves upon our shoulders, but they shall rue
2230their abuses, this morning they are to be married.
Muck. 'Tis too true, yet if the Widow be not too
much besotted on slights and forgeries, the revelation of
their villanies will make 'em loathsome, and to that end,
be it in private to you, I sent late last night to an ho-
2235nourable personage, to whom I am much indebted in
kindnesse, as he is to me, and therefore presume upon
the payment of his tongue, and that he will lay out good
words for me, and to speak truth, for such needfull occa-
sions, I onely preserve him in bond, and sometimes he
2240may doe me more good here in the City by a free word
of his mouth, then if he had paid one half in hand, and
took Doomesday for tother.
Tip. Introth, sir, without soothing be it spoken, you
have publisht much judgement in these few words.
2245Muck. For you know, what such a man utters will
be thought effectuall; and to weighty purpose, and there-
fore into his mouth we'll put the approved theame of
their forgeries.
Skir. And I'le maintain it, Knight, if she'll be true.
2250
Enter a Servant.
Muck. How now, fellow.
Serv. May it please you, sir, my Lord is newly lighted
from his Coach.
Muck. Is my Lord come already? his honour's early:
2255You see he loves me well; up before heaven,
Trust me, I have found him night-capt at eleven:
There's good hope yet: come, I'le relate all to him.
Exeunt.