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Author: Anonymous
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The Puritan (Folio 3, 1664)

The Puritan Widow.

Actus Quartus.

Enter Moll, and Sir John Penny-Dub.

1750Pen. But I hope you will not serve a Knight so, Gen-
tlewoman, will you? to casheer him, and cast him off
at your pleasure; what doe you think I was dubb'd for
nothing, no by my faith Ladies daughter.
Moll. Pray Sir John Penny-Dub, let it be defer'd a-
1755while, I have a heart to marry as you can have; but as
the Fortune-teller told me.
Penny. Pax-oth' Fortune-teller, would Derrick had
been his fortune seven yeare ago, to crosse my love thus:
did he know what case I was in? why this is able to make
1760a man drown himself in's Father's Fish-pond.
Moll. And then he told me moreover, Sir John, that
the breach of it, kept my Father in Purgatory.
Penny. In Purgatory? why let him purge out his heart
there, what have we to doe with that? there's Physicians
1765enow there to cast his water, is that any matter to us?
how can he hinder our love? why let him be hang'd now
he's dead?---Well, have I rid post day and night, to
bring you merry newes of my Fathers death, and now---
Moll. Thy Fathers death? is the old Farmer dead?
1770Penny. As dead as his Barn door, Moll.
Moll. And you'll keep your word with me now, sir
John, that I shall have my Coach and my Coach-man?
Penny. I faith.
Moll. And two white Horses with black Feathers to
1775draw it?
Penny. Too.
Moll. A guarded Lackey to run befor't, and py'd Li-
veries to come trashing after't.
Pen. Thou shalt Moll.
1780Mol. And to let me have money in my purse to go whe-
ther I will.
Pen. All this.
Moll. Then come, whatsoe're come's on't, we'll be
made sure together before the Maids oth' Kitchin.

Enter Widow with her eldest Daughter, Franck,
and Frailty.

Wid. How now? where's my Brother Sir Godfrey?
went he forth this morning?
Frail. O no Madam, he's above at break-fast, with
1790sir reverence a Conjurer.
Wid. A Conjurer? what manner of fellow is he?
Frail. Oh, a wondrous rare fellow, Mistresse, very
strongly made upward, for he goes in a Buff-Jerkin: he
sayes he will fetch Sir Godfrey's Chain agen, if it hang
1795between heaven and earth.
Wid. What he will not? then he's an exlent fellow I
warrant: how happy were that woman to be blest with
such a Husband, a man cunning? how do's he look, Frail-
ty? very swartly I warrant, with black beard, scorcht
1800cheeks, and smoaky eye-browes.
Frail. Fooh--he's neither smoak-dryed, nor scorcht,
nor black, nor nothing, I tell you, Madam, he looks as
fair to see to, as one of us; I do think but if you saw him
once, you'de take him to be a Christian.
1805Franck. So fair, and yet so cunning, that's to be won-
dred at, mother.
Enter Sir Andrew Muck-hill, and Sir An-
drew Tipstaffe.
Muck. Blesse you, sweet Lady.
1810Tip. And you, fair Mistresse.
Exit Frailty.
Wid. Coades, what do you mean, Gentlemen? fie,
did I not give you your answers?
Muck. Sweet Lady?
Wid. Well, I will not stick with you for a kisse:
1815Daughter, kisse the Gentleman for once.
Franck. Yes forsooth.
Tip. I'me proud of such a favour.
Wid. Truly la, sir Oliver, y'are much to blame to
come agen when you know my mind, so well deliver'd---
1820as a Widow could deliver a thing.
Muck. But I exspect a farther comfort, Lady.
Wid. Why la you now, did I not desire you to put off
your suit quite and clean when you came to me again?
how say you? did I not?
1825Muck. But the sincere love which my heart beares to
Wid. Go to, I'le cut you off; and Sir Oliver to put
you in comfort, afar off, my fortune is read me, I must
marry again.
1830Muck. O blest fortune!
Wid. But not as long as I can choose; nay, I'le hold
out well.
Enter Frailty.
Frail. O Madam, Madam.
1835Wid. How now? what's the haste?
In her ear.
Tipst. Faith, Mistresse Frances, I'le maintain you gal-
lantly, I'le bring you to Court, wean you among the fair
society of Ladies poor Kinswomen of mine in cloth of
Silver, beside you shall have your Moncky, your Parrat,
1840your Muskat, and your Pisse, Pisse, Pisse.
Franck. It will doe very well.
Wid. What, do's he mean to Conjure here then? how
shall I do to be rid of these Knights,--please you Gen-
tlemen to walk a while ith' Garden, to gather a pinck, or
1845a Jillly-flower.
Both. With all our hearts, Lady, and count us fa-
Sir God. within. Step in Nicholas, look, is the coast
1850Nich. Oh, as clear as a Carter's eye, sir.
Sir God. Then enter Captain Conjurer:---now
how like you our Room, sir?

Enter Sir Godfrey, Captain, Pye-boord, Edmond,

1855Cap. O wonderfull convenient.
Edm. I can tell you, Captain, simply though it lies
here, tis the fairest Room in my Mothers house, as dainty
a Room to Conjure in, me thinks,---why you may bid,
I cannot tell how many Devils welcome in't; my Father
1860has had twenty in't at once!
Pye. What Devils?
Edm. Devils, no Deputies, and the wealthiest men he
could get.
Sir God. Nay put by your chats now, fall to your bu-
1865sinesse roundly, the Fescue of the Diall is upon the Chris-
crosse of Noon: but oh, hear me, Captain, a qualme
comes o're my stomack.
Cap. Why, what's the matter, sir?
Sir God. Oh, how if the Devil should prove a knave,
1870and tear the hangings.
Cap. Fuh,