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Shakespeare on Stage
American Shakespeare Center, Return to the Forbidden Planet. To Dec. 1, 2013.
American Shakespeare Center, The Duchess of Malfi. To Jun. 15, 2013.
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The Puritan Widow (Folio 3, 1664)

Author: Anonymous
Not Peer Reviewed
66
The Puritan Widow.
Pye. I, I, that I will,---look Serjeants, here are Maps,
and pretty toyes, be doing in the mean time, I shall quick-
ly have told out the money, you know.
1365Put. Go, go, little villain, fetch thy chinck, I begin
to love thee, I'le be drunk to night in thy company.
Pye. This Gentleman I may well call a part
Of my salvation, in these earthly evils,
For he has sav'd me from three hungry Devils.
1370
Exit George.
Put. Sirrah Serjeant, these Maps are pretty painted
things, but I could nere fancie them yet, me thinks they're
too busie, and full of Circles and Conjurations; they say
all the World's in one of them, but I could nere find the
1375Counter in the Poultry.
Rav. I think so: how could you find it? for you know
it stands behind the houses.
Dog. Mass that's true, then we must look oth'back-
side for't: sfoot here's nothing, all's bare.
1380Rav. I warrant thee that stands for the Counter, for
you know there's a company of bare fellows there.
Put. Faith like enough, Serjeant, I never markt so
much before. Sirrah Serjeant, and Yeoman, I should
love these Maps out a cry now, if we could see men peep
1385out of door in 'em, oh we might have'em in a morning to
our Break-fast so finely, and nere knock our heels to the
ground a whole day for 'em.
Rav. I marry sir, I'de buy one my self.
But this talk is by the way, where shall's sup to night:
1390Five pound receiv'd, let's talk of that.
I have a trick worth all, you two shall bear him toth'Ta-
vern, whilst I go close with his Hostess, and work out of
her, I know she would be glad of the summe, to finger
money; because shee knows 'tis but a desperate debt, and
1395full of hazard: what will you say if I bring it to pass, that
the Hostess shall be contented with one half for all, and
we to share tother fifty shillings, Bullies.
Put. Why I would call thee King of Serjeants, and
thou should'st be Chronicled in the Counter-Book for
1400ever.
Ra. Well, put it to me, we'll make a Night on't ifaith.
Dog. Sfoot, I think he receives more money, he stayes
so long.
Put. He tarries long indeed, may be, I can tell you,
1405upon the good liking on't the Gentleman may prove
more bountifull.
Rav. That would be rare, we'll search him.
Put. Nay be sure of it, we'll search him, and make
him light enough.

1410
Enter the Gentleman.

Ra. Oh here comes the Gentleman, by your leave, Sir.
Gen. God you god den sirs,--would you speak with me?
Put. No, not with your worship, sir; only we are bold
to stay for a friend of ours, that went in with your wor-
1415ship.
Gen. Who? not the Schollar?
Put. Yes, e'en he, an it please your worship.
Gen. Did he make you stay for him? he did you wrong
then: why, I can assure you he's gon above an hour ago.
1420Rav. How, Sir?
Gen. I paid him his money, and my man told me he
went out at back-door.
Put. Back-door?
Gen. Why, what's the matter?
1425Put. He was our prisoner, sir, we did arrest him.
Gen. What he was not? you the Sheriff's Officers---
you were too blame then,
Why did you not make known to me as much;
I could have kept him for you, I protest,
1430He receiv'd all of me in Britain Gold,
Of the last coyning.
Ra Vengeance dog him with't.
Put. Sfoot has he gull'd us so?
Dog. Where shall we sup now, Serjeants?
1435Put. Sup Simon, now, eat Porridge for a month.
Well, we cannot impute it to any lack of good will in
your Worship,--you did but as another would have
done, 'twas our hard fortunes to miss the purchase, but
if e'er we clutch him again, the Counter shall charm him.
1440Ra. The Hole shall rot him.
Dog. Amen.
Exeunt.
Gent. So,
Vex out your Lungs without doors, I am proud,
It was my hap to help him, it fell fit,
1445He went not empty neither for his wit:
Alas poor wretch, I could not blame his brain,
To labour his delivery, to be free,
From their unpittying fangs,--I'me glad it stood,
Within my power to do a Scholar good.
Exit.

1450
Enter in the Prison, meeting George and Captain,
George coming in muffled.

Cap. How now, who's that? what are you?
Pye. The same that I should be, Captain.
Cap. George Pye-board, honest George? why cam'st
1455thou in half-fac'd, muffled so?
Pye. Oh Captain, I thought we should nere ha laught
agen, never spent frolick hour agen.
Cap. Why? why?
Pye. I coming to prepare thee, and with news
1460As happy as thy quick delivery,
Was trac'd out by the sent, arrested, Captain.
Cap. Arrested, George?
Pye. Arrested; guess, guess, how many Dogs do you
think I'de upon me?
1465Cap. Dogs? I say, I know not.
Pye. Almost as many as George Stone the Bear:
Three at once, three at once.
Cap. How did'st thou shake'em off then?
Pye. The time is busie, and calls upon our wits, let it
1470Here I stand safe, and scap't by miracle:
Some other hour shall tell thee, when we'll steep
Our eyes in laughter: Captain, my device
Leans to thy happiness, for ere the day
Be spent toth' Girdle, thou shalt be free:
1475The Corporal's in's first sleep, the Chain is mist,
Thy Kinsman has exprest thee, and the old Knight
With Palsey-hams now labours thy release.
What rests, is all in thee, to Conjure, Captain?
Cap. Conjure? sfoot, George, you know, the Devil a
1480conjuring I can conjure.
Pye. The Devil of conjuring? nay by my fay, I'de not
have thee do so much, Captain, as the Devil a conjuring:
look here, I ha brought thee a Circle ready charactered
and all.
1485Ca. Sfoot, George, art in thy right wits, dost know what
thou sayst? why dost talk to a Captain a conjuring? didst
thou ever hear of a Captain conjure in thy life? dost call't
a Circle? 'tis too wide a thing, me thinks; had it been
a lesser Circle, then I knew what to have done.
[D1v]
Pye. Why