Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: Anonymous
Not Peer Reviewed

The Tragedy of Locrine (Third Folio, 1664)

Scena Tertia.
Enter Strumbo above in a gown, with ink and
310paper in his hand saying
Strum. Either the four Elements, the seven Planets
and all the particular Starrs of the Pole Antastick, are
adversitive against me, or else I was begotten and born
in the wain of the Moon, when every thing, as
315Lactantius in his fourth book of Constultations doth
say, goeth arsward. I Masters, I, you may laugh, but
I must weep; you may joy, but I must sorrow; shed-
ding salt tears from the watry fountains of my moist
dainty fair eyes, along my comely and smooth cheeks, in as
320great plenty as the water runneth from the bucking-tubs,
or red wine out of the Hogs-heads: for trust me gentle-
men and my very good friends, and so forth: the little
god, nay the desperate god Cuprit, with one of his
vengible bird-bolts, hath shot me unto the heel: so not
325only, but also, oh fine phrase, I burn, I burn, and
I burn a, in love, in love, and in love a, ah Strum-
bo, what hast thou seen, not Dina with the Asse Tom?
Yea with these eyes thou hast seen her, and therefore
pull them out: for they will work thy bail. Ah Strum-
330bo,hast thou heard the voice of the Nightingale, but a
voice sweeter then hers, yea with these ears hast thou
heard them, and therefore cut them off, for they have
caus'd thy sorrow. Nay Strumbo, kill thy self, drown
thy self, hang thy self, starve thy self. Oh but then
335I shall leave my sweet heart. Oh my heart! Now pate
for thy Master, I will dite an aliquant love-pistle to her,
and then she hearing the grand verbosity of my scripture,
will love me presently,
Let him write a little, and then read.
340My pen is naught, Gentlemen lend me a knife, I think
the more haste the worst speed.
Then write again, and after read.
So it is, Mistris Dorothie, and the sole essence of
my soul, that the little sparkles of affection kindled in
345me towards your sweet self, hath now increased to a great
flame, and will ere it be long consume my poor heart,
except you with the pleasant water of your secret foun-
tain, quench the furious heat of the same. Alass, I am a
Gentleman of good fame, and name, majesticall, in ap-
350parell comely, in gate portly. Let not therefore your gen-
tle heart be so hard, as to despise a proper tall young
man of a handsome life, and by despising him, not only
but also to kill him. Thus expecting time and tide, I bid
you farewell. Your Servant, Signior Strumbo.
355 Oh wit, O pate, O memory, O hand, O Ink, O paper.
Well, now I will send it away. Trompart, Trompart,
what a Villain is this? Why sirrha, come when your
Master calls you. Trompart.
Trompart entering saith
360Anon, sir.
Strumbo. Thou knowest, my pretty Boy, what a good
Master I have been to thee ever since I took thee into my
Trom. I, sir.
365Srum. And how I have cherished thee alwayes, as if
thou hadst been the fruit of my loynes, flesh of my flesh,
and bone of my bone.
Trom. I, sir.
Strum. Then shew thy self herein a trusty servant, and
370carry this Letter to Mistress Dorothy, and tell her.
Speaking in his eare.
Exit Trompart.
Strum. Nay, Masters, you shall see a Marriage by
and by. But here she comes. Now must I frame my a-
375morous passions.
Enter Dorothy and Trompart.
Doro. Signior Strumbo, well met, I received your
Letters by your man here, who told me a pittifull story
of your anguish, and so understanding your passions were
380so great, I came hither speedily.
Strum. Oh, my sweet and pigsney, the fecundity
of my ingenie is not so great, that may declare unto you
the sorrowfull sobs, and broken sleeps that I suffered for
your sake; and therefore I desire you to receive me into
385your familiarity.
For your Love doth lie,
As near and as nigh:
Unto my heart within,
As mine Eye to my Nose,
390 My Leg unto my Hose,
And my Flesh unto my Skin
Dor. Truly, M. Strumbo, you speak too learnedly
for me to understand the drift of your mind, and there-
fore tell your tale in plain termes, and leave off your dark
Strum. Alass, Mistresse Dorothy, this is my luck, that
when I most would, I cannot be understood: so that my
great learning is an inconvenience unto me. But to
speak in plain termes, I love you, Mistresse Dorothy, if
400you like to accept me into your familiarity.
Dor. If this be all I am content.
Turning to the people.
Strum. Say'st thou so, sweet wench, let me lick thy
Toes. Farewell, Mistresse. If any of you be in love,
405provide ye a Cap-case full of new coyn'd words, and
then shall you soon have the succado de labres, and some-
thing else.