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Love's Labor's Lost (Quarto 1, 1598)

Author: William Shakespeare
Not Peer Reviewed
A PLEASANT
Conceited Comedie
CALLED Loues labors lost.
As it was presented before her Highnes
this last Christmas.
Newly corrected and augmented
By W. Shake{s}pere.
Imprinted at London by W.W.
for Cutbert Burby.1598.
Enter Ferdinand K. of Nauar, Berovvne,
Longauill, and Dumaine.
Ferdinand.
5LET Fame, that all hunt after in their lyues,
Liue registred vpon our brazen Tombes,
And then grace vs, in the disgrace of death:
When spight of cormorant deuouring Time,
Thendeuour of this present breath may buy:
10That honour which shall bate his sythes keene edge,
And make vs heires of all eternitie.
Therefore braue Conquerours, for so you are,
That warre agaynst your owne affections,
And the hudge armie of the worldes desires.
15Our late edict shall strongly stand in force,
Nauar shall be the wonder of the worlde.
Our Court shalbe a lytlle Achademe,
Still and contemplatyue in lyuing art.
You three, Berowne, Dumaine, and Longauill,
20Haue sworne for three yeeres tearme, to liue with me:
My fellow Schollers, and to keepe those statutes
That are recorded in this sedule here.
Your othes are past, and now subscribe your names:
That his owne hand may strike his honour downe,
25That violates the smallest branch herein.
If you are armd to do, as sworne to do,
Subscribe to your deepe othes, and keepe it to.
Longauill. I am resolued, tis but a thee yeeres fast:
The minde shall banquet, though the body pine,
30Fat paunches haue leane pates: and daynty bits
Make rich the ribbes, but bancrout quite the wits.
Dumaine My louing Lord, Dumaine is mortefied,
The grosser manner of these worldes delyghts:
He throwes vppon the grosse worlds baser slaues
35To loue, to wealth, to pome, I pine and die,
With all these lyuing in Philosophie.
Berowne. I can but say their protestation ouer,
So much deare Liedge, I haue already sworne,
That is, to lyue and study heere three yeeres.
40But there are other strickt obseruances:
As not to see a woman in that terme,
Which I hope well is not enrolled there.
And one day in a weeke to touch no foode:
And but one meale on euery day beside:
45The which I hope is not enrolled there.
And then to sleepe but three houres in the nyght,
And not be seene to wincke of all the day.
When I was wont to thinke no harme all nyght,
And make a darke nyght too of halfe the day:
50Which I hope well is not enrolled there.
O these are barraine taskes, too hard to keepe,
Not to see Ladyes, study, fast, not sleepe.
Ferd. Your othe is past, to passe away from these.
Berow. Let me say no my liedge, and yf you please,
55I onely swore to study with your grace,
And stay heere in your Court for three yeeres space.
Longa. You swore to that Berowne, and to the rest.
Bero. By yea and nay sir, than I swore in iest.
What is the ende of study, let me know?
60Ferd. Why that to know which else we should not know.
Ber. Things hid & bard (you meane) from cammon sense.
Ferd. I, that is studies god-like recompence.
Bero. Com'on then, I will sweare to study so,
65To know the thing I am forbid to know:
As thus, to study where I well may dine,
When I to fast expressely am forbid.
Or studie where to meete some Mistris fine.
When Mistresses from common sense are hid.
70Or hauing sworne too hard a keeping oth,
Studie to breake it, and not breake my troth.
If studies gaine be thus, and this be so,
Studie knowes that which yet it doth not know,
Sweare me to this, and I will nere say no.
75Ferd. These be the stopps that hinder studie quit,
And traine our intelects to vaine delight.
Bero. Why? all delightes are vaine, but that most vaine
Which with payne purchas'd, doth inherite payne,
As paynefully to poare vpon a Booke,
80To seeke the lyght of trueth, while trueth the whyle
Doth falsely blinde the eye-sight of his looke:
Light seeking light, doth light of light beguyle:
So ere you finde where light in darknes lyes,
Your light growes darke by loosing of your eyes.
85Studie me how to please the eye in deede,
By fixing it vppon a fayrer eye,
Who dazling so, that eye shalbe his heed,
And giue him light that it was blinded by.
Studie is lyke the heauens glorious Sunne,
90That will not be deepe searcht with sawcie lookes:
Small haue continuall plodders euer wonne,
Saue base aucthoritie from others Bookes.
These earthly Godfathers of heauens lights,
That giue a name to euery fixed Starre,
95Haue no more profite of their shyning nights,
Then those that walke and wot not what they are.
Too much to know, is to know nought but fame:
And euery Godfather can giue a name.
Ferd. How well hees read to reason against reading.
100Dum. Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding.
Lon. He weedes the corne, & still lets grow the weeding.
Ber. The Spring is neare when greene geese are a bree-
105Duma. How followes that?
Ber. Fit in his place and tyme.
Duma. In reason nothing.
Bero. Something then in rime.
Ferd. Berowne is like an enuious sneaping Frost,
110That bites the first borne infants of the Spring.
Bero. Well, say I am, why should proude Sommer boast,
Before the Birdes haue any cause to sing?
Why should I ioy in any abhortiue byrth?
At Christmas I no more desire a Rose,
115Then wish a Snow in Mayes new fangled showes:
But like of each thing that in season growes.
So you to studie now it is too late,
Clymbe ore the house to vnlocke the little gate.
Ferd. Well, sit you out: go home Berowne: adue.
120Bero. No my good Lord, I haue sworne to stay with you.
And though I haue for barbarisme spoke more
Then for that Angell knowledge you can say,
Yet confident Ile keepe what I haue sworne,
And bide the pennance of each three yeeres day.
125Giue me the paper, let me reade the same,
And to the strictest decrees Ile write my name.
Fer. How well this yeelding rescewes thee from shame.
Ber. Item, That no woman shall come within a myle of
my Court. Hath this bin proclaymed?
Long. Foure dayes ago.
Ber. Lets see the penaltie. On payne of loosing her tung.
Who deuis'd this penaltie?
135Long. Marrie that did I.
Bero. Sweete Lord and why?
Long. To fright them hence with that dread penaltie.
A dangerous law against gentletie.
Item, Yf any man be seene to talke with a woman within
140the tearme of three yeeres, he shall indure such publibue
shame as the rest of the Court can possible deuise.
Ber. This Article my liedge your selfe must breake,
For well you know here comes in Embassaie,
145The French kinges daughter with your selfe to speake:
A Maide of grace and complet maiestie,
About surrender vp of Aquitaine,
To her decrepit, sicke, and bedred Father.
Therefore this Article is made in vaine,
150Or vainely comes th'admired Princesse hither.
Ferd. What say you Lordes? why, this was quite forgot.
Ber. So Studie euermore is ouershot,
While it doth studie to haue what it would,
155It doth forget to do the thing it should:
And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
Tis won as townes with fire, so won so lost.
Fer. We must offorce dispence with this Decree,
Shee must lie heere on meere necessitie.
160Ber. Necessitie will make vs all forsworne
Three thousand times within this three yeeres space:
For euery man with his affectes is borne,
Not by might mastred, but by speciall grace.
If I breake fayth, this word shall speake for me,
165I am forsworne on meere necessitie.
So to the Lawes at large I write my name,
And he that breakes them in the least degree,
Standes in attainder of eternall shame.
Suggestions are to other as to me:
170But I beleeue although I seeme so loth,
I am the last that will last keepe his oth.
But is there no quicke recreation graunted?
Ferd. I that there is, our Court you know is haunted
With a refined trauailer of Spaine,
175A man in all the worldes new fashion planted,
That hath a mint of phrases in his braine:
On who the musique of his owne vaine tongue
Doth rauish like inchannting harmonie:
A man of complements whom right and wrong
180Haue chose as vmpier of their mutenie.
This childe of Fancie that Armado hight,
For interim to our studies shall relate,
In high borne wordes the worth of many a Knight:
From tawnie Spaine lost in the worldes debate.
185How you delight my Lords I know not I,
But I protest I loue to heare him lie,
And I will vse him for my Minstrelsie.
Bero. Armado is a most illustrious wight,
A man of fier new wordes, Fashions owne knight.
190Lon. Costard the swaine and he, shalbe our sport,
And so to studie three yeeres is but short.
Enter a Constable with Costard with a letter.
Constab. Which is the Dukes owne person?
Ber. This fellow, What would'st?
195Const. I my selfe reprehend his owne person, for I am his
graces Farborough: But I would see his owne person
in flesh and blood.
Ber. This is he.
Const. Signeour Arme Arme commendes you:
200Ther's villanie abrod, this letter will tell you more.
Clowne. Sir the Contempls thereof are as touching me.
Fer. A letter from the magnifisent Armado.
Bero. How low so euer the matter, I hope in God for high
Lon. A high hope for a low heauen. God grant vs patience
Ber. To heare, or forbeare hearing.
Lon. To heare meekely sir, and to laugh moderatly, or
210to forbeare both.
Bero. Well sir, be it as the stile shall giue vs cause to clime
in the merrines.
Clow.The matter is to me sir, as concerning Iaquenetta:
The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
215Bero. In what manner?
Clow. In manner and forme folowing sir all those three.
I was seene with her in the Manner house, sitting with her
vppon the Forme, and taken following her into the Parke:
which put togeather, is in manner and forme following.
220Now sir for the manner, It is the manner of a man to speake
to a woman, for the forme in some forme.
Ber. For the following sir.
Clow. As it shall follow in my correction, and God defend
225the right.
Ferd. Will you heare this Letter with attention?
Bero.As we would heare an Oracle.
Clow.Such is the sinplicitie of man to harken after the flesh
230Ferd. Reat Deputie the welkis Vizgerent, and sole dominatur of
Nauar, my soules earthes God, and bodies fostring patrone:
Cost. Not a worde of Costart yet.
235Ferd. So it is
Cost. It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is in telling true:
but so.
Ferd. Peace.
Clow. Be to me, and euerie man that dares not fight.
240Ferd. No wordes.
Clow. Of other mens secrets I beseech you.
Ferd. So it is besedged with sable coloured melancholie, I did
commende the blacke oppressing humour to the most holsome phisicke
of thy health-geuing ayre: And as I am a Gentleman, betooke my
245selfe to walke: the time When? about the sixt houre, When Beastes
most grase, Birdes best peck, and Men sit downe to that nourishment
which is called Supper: So much for the time When. Now for the
ground Which? which I meane I walkt vpon, it is ycliped Thy Park.
Then for the place Where? where I meane, I did incounter that ob-
250seene & most propostrous euent that draweth frõ my snowhite pen the
ebon coloured Incke, which here thou viewest, beholdest, suruayest, or
seest. But to the place Where? It standeth North North-east & by
East from the West corner of thy curious knotted garden; There
255did I see that low spirited Swaine, that base Minow of thy myrth,
(Clowne. Mee?) that vnlettered smal knowing soule, (Clow. Mee?)
that shallow vassall (Clown. Still mee.) which as I remember,
hight Costard,
(Clown. O mee)sorted and consorted contrary to
thy established proclaymed Edict and continent Cannon: Which
with, ô with, but with this I passion to say wherewith:
Clo. With a Wench.
Ferd. With a childe of our Grandmother Eue, a female; or for thy
more sweete vnderstanding a Woman: him, I (as my euer esteemed
265duetie prickes me on) haue sent to thee, to receiue the meede of pu-
nishment by thy sweete Graces Officer Anthonie Dull , a man of
good reput, carriage bearing, and estimation.
Antho. Me ant shall please you? I am Anthony Dull.
Ferd. For Iaquenetta (so is the weaker vessell called) vvhich I
270apprehended vvith the aforesayd Svvaine, I keepe her as a vessell of
thy Lavves furie, and shall at the least of thy svveete notice, bring
hir to tryall. Thine in all complements of deuoted and hartburning
heate of duetie.
Don Adriano de Armado.
275Ber. This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that
euer I heard.
Fer. I the best, for the wost. But sirra, What say you to this?
Clo. Sir I confesse the Wench.
280Fer. Did you heare the Proclamation?
Clo. I do confesse much of the hearing it, but little of the
marking of it.
Fer. It was proclaymed a yeeres imprisonment to be ta-
ken with a Wench.
285Clo. I was taken with none sir, I was taken with a Demsel.
Fer. Well, it was proclaimed Damsel.
Clo. This was no Damsel neither sir, she was a Virgin.
290Ber. It is so varried to, for it was proclaimed Virgin.
Clo. If it were, I denie her Virginitie: I was taken with a
Maide.
Fer. This Maide will not serue your turne sir.
Col. This Maide will serue my turne sir.
295Fer. Sir I will pronounce your sentence: You shall fast a
weeke with Branne and Water.
Clo. I had rather pray a month with Mutton & Porridge.
Fer. And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
300My Lord Berovvne, see him deliuered ore,
And goe we Lordes to put in practise that,
Which each to other hath so strongly sworne.
Bero. Ile lay my Head to any good mans Hat,
These othes and lawes will proue an idle scorne.
305Surra, Come on.
Clo. I suffer for the trueth sir: for true it is, I was taken
with Iaquenetta, and Iaquenetta is a trew girle, and therefore
welcome the sower Cup of prosperie, affliccio may one day
smile againe, and till then sit thee downe sorrow.
Exeunt.
Enter Armado and Moth his page.
Armado. Boy, What signe is it when a man of great spi-
rite growes melancholy?
Boy. A great signe sir that he will looke sadd.
315Ar. Why? sadnes is one & the selfe same thing deare imp.
Boy. No no, O Lord sir no.
Arm. How canst thou part sadnes and melancholy, my
tender Iuuenall?
320Boy. By a familier demonstration of the working, my
tough signeor.
Arma. Why tough signeor? Why tough signeor?
Boy. Why tender iuuenall? Why tender iuuenall?
Arm. I spoke it tender iuuenal, as a congruent apethaton
325apperteining to thy young dayes, which we may nominate
tender.
Boy. And I tough signeor, as an appertinent title to your
olde time, which we may name tough.
Arma. Prettie and apt.
330Boy. How meane you sir, I prettie, and my saying apt?
or I apt, and my saying prettie?
Arma. Thou prettie because little.
Boy. Little prettie, because little: wherefore apt.
Arma. And therfore apt, because quicke.
335Boy. Speake you this in my praise Maister?
Arma. In thy condigne praise.
Boy. I will praise an Eele with the same praise.
Arma. What? that an Eele is ingenious.
Boy. That an Eele is quicke.
340Arma. I do say thou art quicke in answeres. Thou heatst
my blood.
Boy. I am answerd sir.
Arma. I loue not to be crost.
Boy. He speakes the meer contrarie, crosses loue not him.
345Ar. I haue promised to studie three yeeres with the duke.
Boy. You may do it in an houre sir.
Arma. Impossible.
Boy. How many is one thrice tolde?
Arm. I am ill at reckning, it fitteth the spirit of a Tapster.
350Boy. You are a Gentleman and a Gamster sir.
Arma. I confesse both, they are both the varnish of a com-
pleat man.
Boy. Then I am sure you know how much the grosse
summe of deus-ace amountes to.
355Arm. It doth amount to one more then two.
Boy. Which the base vulgar do call three.
Arma. True.
Boy. Why sir is this such a peece of studie? Now heere is
three studied ere yele thrice wincke: and how easie it is to
put yeeres to the worde three, and studie three yeeres in two
360wordes, the dauncing Horse will tell you.
Arm. A most fine Figure.
Boy. To proue you a Cypher.
Arm. I will hereupon confesse I am in loue: and as it is
base for a Souldier to loue; so am I in loue with a base wench.
365If drawing my Sword against the humor of affection, would
deliuer me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take
Desire prisoner, and ransome him to anie French Courtier
for a new deuisde cursie. I thinke scorne to sigh, mee thinks
I should outsweare Cupid. Comfort mee Boy, What great
370men haue bin in loue?
Boy. Hercules Maister.
Arm. Most sweete Hercules: more authoritie deare Boy,
name more; and sweete my childe let them be men of good
375repute and carriage.
Boy. Sampson Maister, he was a man of good carriage,
great carriage: for he carried the Towne-gates on his backe
like a Porter: and he was in loue.
Arm. O wel knit Sampson, strong ioynted Sampson; I do excel
380thee in my rapier, as much as thou didst me in carying gates.
I am in loue too. Who was Sampsons loue my deare Moth?
Boy. A Woman, Maister.
Arm. Of what complexion?
385Boy. Of all the foure, or the three, or the two, or one of
the foure.
Arm. Tell me precisely of what complexion?
Boy. Of the sea-water Greene sir.
Arm. Is that one of the foure complexions?
390Boy. As I haue read sir, and the best of them too.
Arm. Greene in deede is the colour of Louers: but to
haue a loue of that colour, mee thinkes Sampson had small
reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
Boy. It was so sir, for she had a greene wit.
395Arm. My loue is most immaculate white and red.
Boy. Most maculate thoughts Maister, are maskt vnder
such colours.
Ar. Define, define, well educated infant.
Boy. My fathers wit, and my mothers tongue assist me.
Ar. Sweet inuocation of a child, most pretty & pathetical.
Boy. Yf she be made of white and red,
Her faultes will nere be knowne:
405For blush-in cheekes by faultes are bred,
And feares by pale white showne:
Then if she feare or be to blame,
By this you shall not know,
For still her cheekes possesse the same,
410Which natiue she doth owe
A dangerous rime maister against the reason of white & red.
Ar. Is there not a Ballet Boy of the King & the Begger?
415Boy. The worlde was very guiltie of such a Ballet some
three ages since, but I thinke now tis not to be found: or if it
were, it would neither serue for the writing, nor the tune.
Ar. I will haue that subiect newly writ ore, that I may
420example my digression by some mightie presedent. Boy,
I do loue, that Countrey girle that I tooke in the Parke
with the rational hinde Costard: she deserues well.
Boy. To be whipt: and yet a better loue then my maister.
Ar. Sing Boy, My spirit growes heauie in loue.
Boy. And thats great maruaile, louing a light Wench.
Ar. I say sing.
Boy. Forbeare till this companie be past.
430
Enter Clowne, Constable, and Wench.
Constab. Sir, the Dukes pleasure is that you keepe C stard
safe, and you must suffer him to take no delight, nor no pe-
nance, but a'must fast three dayes a weeke: for this Damsell
I must keepe her at the Parke, she is alowde for the Day
435womand. Fare you well.
Ar. I do betray my selfe with blushing: Maide.
Maide. Man.
Ar. I will visit thee at the Lodge.
Maid. Thats hereby.
440Ar. I know where it is situate.
Ma. Lord how wise you are.
Ar. I will tell thee wonders.
Ma. With that face.
Ar. I loue thee.
445Ma. So I heard you say.
Ar. And so farewell.
Ma. Faire weather after you.
Clo. Come Iaquenetta, away.
Exeunt.
Ar. Villaine, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be
450pardoned.
Clo. Well sir I hope when I do it, I shall do it on a full
stomacke.
Ar. Thou shalt be heauely punished.
Clo. I am more bound to you then your fellowes, for they
455are but lightly rewarded.
Ar. Take away this villaine, shut him vp.
Boy. Come you transgressing slaue, away.
Clo. Let me not be pent vp sir, I will fast being loose.
460Boy. No sir, that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
Clo. Well, if euer I do see the merry dayes of desolation
that I haue seene, some shall see.
Boy. What shall some see?
465Clo. Nay nothing M. Moth, but what they looke vppon.
It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their wordes, and
therfore I will say nothing: I thanke God I haue as litle pa-
tience as an other man, & therfore I can be quiet.
Exit.
470Arm. I do affect the verie ground (which is base) where her
shoo (which is baser) guided by her foote (which is basest)
doth tread. I shall be forsworne (which is a great argument
of falsehood) if I loue. And how can that be true loue, which
is falsely attempted? Loue is a familiar; Loue is a Diuell.
475There is no euill angel but Loue, yet was Sampson so temp-
ted, and he had an excellent strength: Yet was Salomon so
seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupids Butshaft is too
hard for Hercules Clubb, and therefore too much oddes for a
Spaniards Rapier: The first and second cause will not serue
my turne: the Passado he respects not, the Duella he regards
not; his disgrace is to be called Boy, but his glorie is to sub-
due men. Adue Valoure, rust Rapier, be still Drum, for your
manager is in loue; yea he loueth. Assist me some extempo-
485rall God of Rime, for I am sure I shall turne Sonnet. Deuise
Wit, write Pen, for I am for whole volumes in folio.
Exit.
490
Enter the Princesse of Fraunce, with three
attending Ladies and three Lordes.
Boyet. Now Maddame summon vp your dearest spirrits,
Cosider who the King your father sendes:
To whom he sendes, and whats his Embassie.
495Your selfe, helde precious in the worldes esteeme,
To parlee with the sole inheritoure
Of all perfections that a man may owe,
Matchles Nauar, the plea of no lesse weight,
Then Aquitaine a Dowrie for a Queene.
500Be now as prodigall of all Deare grace,
As Nature was in making Graces deare,
When she did starue the generall world beside,
And prodigally gaue them all to you.
Queene. Good L. Boyet, my beautie though but meane,
505Needes not the painted florish of your prayse:
Beautie is bought by iudgement of the eye,
Not vttred by base sale of chapmens tongues:
I am lesse proude to heare you tell my worth,
Then you much willing to be counted wise,
510In spending your Wit in the prayse of mine.
But now to taske the tasker, good Boyet,
You are not ignorant all telling fame
Doth noyse abroad Nauar hath made a Vow,
Till painefull studie shall outweare three yeeres.
515No Woman may approch his silent Court:
Therefore to's seemeth it a needfull course,
Before we enter his forbidden gates,
To know his pleasure, and in that behalfe
Bold of your worthines, we single you,
520As our best mouing faire soliciter:
Tell him, the Daughter of the King of France
On serious busines crauing quicke dispatch,
Importuous personall conference with his grace.
Haste, signifie so much while we attende,
525Like humble visage Suters his high will.
Boy. Proud of imployment, willingly I go.
Exit Boy.
Prince. All pride is willing pride, and yours is so:
Who are the Votaries my louing Lordes, that are vowfel-
lowes with this vertuous Duke?
530Lor. Longauill is one.
Princ. Know you the man?
1. Lady. I know him Maddame at a marriage feast,
Betweene L. Perigort and the bewtious heire
Of Iaques Fauconbridge solemnized.
535In Normandie saw I this Longauill,
A man of soueraigne peerelsse he is esteemd:
Well fitted in artes, glorious in armes:
Nothing becoms him ill that he would well.
The onely soyle of his fayre vertues glose,
540If vertues glose will staine with any soyle,
Is a sharpe Wit matcht with too blunt a Will:
Whose edge hath power to cut whose will still wils,
It should none spare, that come within his power.
Prin. Some merrie mocking Lord belike, ist so?
545Lad. They say so most, that most his humors know.
Prin. Such short liued wits do wither as they grow.
Who are the rest?
2. Lad. The young Dumaine, a well accomplisht youth,
Of all that Vertue loue, for Vertue loued.
550Most power to do most harme, least knowing ill:
For he hath wit to make an ill shape good,
And shape to win grace though he had no wit.
I saw him at the Duke Alansoes once,
And much too little of that good I saw,
555Is my report to his great worthines.
3. Lad. An other of these Studentes at that time,
Was there with him, if I haue heard a trueth.
Berowne they call him, but a merrier man,
Within the limit of becomming mirth,
560I neuer spent an houres talke withall.
His eye begets occasion for his wit,
For euery obiect that the one doth catch,
The other turnes to a mirth-moouing iest.
Which his fayre tongue (conceites expositer)
565Deliuers in such apt and gracious wordes,
That aged eares play treuant at his tales.
And younger hearinges are quite rauished.
So sweete and voluble is his discourse.
Prin. God blesse my Ladyes, are they all in loue?
570That euery one her owne hath garnished,
With suchbedecking ornaments of praise.
Lord. Heere comes Boyet.
Enter Boyet.
Prin. Now, What admittance Lord?
575Boyet. Nauar had notice of your faire approch,
And he and his compettitours in oth,
Were all addrest to meete you gentle Lady
Before I came: Marrie thus much I haue learnt,
He rather meanes to lodge you in the feelde,
580Like one that comes heere to besiedge his Court,
Then seeke a dispensation for his oth:
To let you enter his vnpeeled house.
Enter Nauar, Longauill, Dumaine, & Berowne.
Bo. Heere comes Nauar.
585Nauar. Faire Princesse, Welcome to the court of Nauar.
Prin. Faire I giue you backe againe, and welcome I haue
not yet: the roofe of this Court is too high to be yours, and
welcome to the wide fieldes too base to be mine.
590Nau. You shalbe welcome Madame to my Court.
Prin. I wilbe welcome then, Conduct me thither.
Nau. Heare me deare Lady, I haue sworne an oth,
Prin. Our Lady helpe my Lord, he'le be forsworne.
Nau. Not for the worldefaire Madame, by my will.
595Prin. Why, will shall breake it will, and nothing els.
Nau. Your Ladishyp is ignoraunt what it is.
Prin. Were my Lord so, his ignoraunce were wise,
Where now his knowledge must proue ignorance.
I heare your grace hath sworne out Houskeeping:
600Tis deadlie sinne to keepe that oath my Lord,
And sin to breake it: but pardon me, I am too sodaine bold,
To teach a teacher ill beseemeth mee.
Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my comming,
605And sodainelie resolue mee in my suite.
Nau. Madame I will, if sodainelie I may.
Prin. You will the sooner that I were awaie,
For youle proue periurde if you make me staie.
Berowne. Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
610Kather. Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
Ber. I know you did.
Kath. How needles was it then to aske the question?
Ber. You must not be so quicke.
Kath. Tis long of you that spur me with such questions.
615Ber. Your wit's too hot, it speedes too fast, twill tire.
Kath. Not till it leaue the rider in the mire.
Ber. What time a day?
Kath. The houre that fooles should aske.
Ber. Now faire befall your maske.
620Kath. Faire fall the face it couers.
Ber. And send you manie louers.
Kath. Amen, so you be none.
Ber. Nay then will I be gon.
Ferd. Madame, your father heere doth intimate,
625The payment of a hundred thousand Crownes,
Being but the one halfe of, of an intire summe,
Disbursed by my father in his warres.
But say that he, or we, as neither haue
Receiud that summe, yet there remaines vnpaide
630A hundred thousand more, in suretie of the which,
One part of Aquitaine is bound to vs,
Although not valued to the monies worth.
If then the King your father will restore,
But that one halfe which is vnsatisfied,
635We will giue vp our right in Aquitaine,
And holde faire faiendship with his Maiestie,
But that it seemes he little purposeth:
For here he doth pemaund to haue repaide,
A hundred thousand Crownes, and not demaunds
640One paiment of a hundred thousand Crownes,
To haue his title liue in Aquitaine.
Which we much rather had depart withall,
And haue the money by our father lent,
Then Aquitaine, so guelded as it is.
645Deare Princesse were not his requestes so farr
From reasons yeelding, your faire selfe should make
A yeelding gainst some reason in my brest,
And go well satisfied to France againe.
Prin. You do the King my father too much wrong,
650And wrong the reputation of your name,
In so vnseeming to confesse receit,
Of that which hath so faithfully been paide.
Ferd. I do protest I neuer heard of it:
And if you proue it, Ile repay it backe,
655Or yeelde vp Aquitaine.
Princ. We arrest your worde.
Boyet you can produce acquittances,
For such a summe from spciall officers,
Of Charles his father.
660Ferd. Satisfie mee so.
Boyet. So please your Grace, the packet is not come,
Where that and other specialties are bound:
To morrow you shall haue a sight of them.
Ferd. It shall suffise me; at which enteruiew,
665All liberall reason I will yeelde vnto.
Meane time receiue such welcome at my hand,
As honor (without breach of honor) may,
Make tender of to thy true worthines.
You may not come (faire Princesse) within my gates,
670But here without you shalbe so receiude,
As you shall deeme your selfe lodgd in my hart.
Though so denide faire harbour in my house,
Your owne good thoughtes excuse me, and farewell.
To morow shall we visite you againe.
675Pri. Sweete health and faire desires confort your grace.
Na. Thy owne wish wish I thee in euery place.
Exit.
Ber. Ladie I will commend you to my none hart.
Ros. Pray you, do my commendations, I would be glad
to see it.
680Ber. I would you heard it grone.
Ros. Is the foole sicke.
Ber. Sicke at the hart.
Ros. Alacke, let it blood.
Bar. Would that do it good?
685Ros. My Phisicke saies I.
Ber. Will you prickt with your eye.
Ros. No poynt, with my knife.
Ber. Now God saue thy life.
Ros. And yours from long liuing.
690Ber. I cannot stay thankes-giuing.
Exit.
Enter Dumaine.
Dum. Sir, I pray you a word, What Ladie is that same?
Boyet. The heire of Alanson, Rosalin her name.
Dum. A gallant Lady Mounsir, fare you wel.
Exit.
695Longauill. I beseech you a word, What is she in the white?
Boyet. A woman sometimes, and you saw her in the light.
Lon. Perchance light in the light. I desire her name?
Bo. She hath but one for her selfe, to desire that were a
700Lon. Pray you sir, Whose daughter?
Bo. Her mothers, I haue heard.
Lon. Gods blessing on your beard.
Bo. Good sir be not offended, She is an heire of Falcon-
705Lon. Nay my coller is ended. She is a most sweet Ladie.
Bo. Not vnlike sir, that may be.
Exit Longauil.
Enter Berowne.
Bero. Whats her name in the capp?
710Boy. Katherin by good happ.
Ber, Is she wedded or no?
Boy. To her will sir, or so.
Ber. O you are welcome sir, adew.
Boy. Farewell to me sir, and welcome to you.
Exit Bero.
715Lady Maria. That last is Berowne, the merrie madcap L.
Not a word with him but a iest.
Boy. And euery iest but a word.
Prin. It was well done of you to take him at his word.
Boy. I was as willing to grapple as he was to boord.
720Lady Ka. Two hot Sheepes marie.
Bo. And wherefore not Shipps?
No Sheepe (sweete Lambe) vnlesse we feede on your lippes.
La. You Sheepe and I pasture: shall that finish the iest?
Bo. So you graunt pasture for me.
725Lad. Not so gentle Beast.
My lippes are no Common, though seuerall they be.
Bo. Belonging to whom?
La. To my fortunes and mee.
Prin. Good witts will be iangling, but gentles agree,
730This ciuill warre of wittes were much better vsed
On Nauar and his Bookmen, for heere tis abused.
Bo. If my obseruation (which very seldome lyes
By the hartes still rethoricke, disclosed with eyes.
Deceaue me not now, Nauar is infected.
735Prin. With what?
Bo. With that which we Louers intitle Affected.
Prin. Your reason.
Bo. Why all his behauiours did make their retire,
To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desier.
740His hart like an Agot with your print impressed,
Proud with his forme, in his eye pride expressed.
His tongue all impacient to speake and not see,
Did stumble with haste in his ey-sight to bee,
All sences to that sence did make their repaire,
745To feele only looking on fairest of faire:
Mee thought all his senses were lokt in his eye,
As Iewels in Christall for some Prince to buy.
Who tendring their owne worth from where they were
Did poynt you to buy them along as you past.
750His faces owne margent did coate such amazes,
That all eyes saw his eyes inchaunted with gazes.
Ile giue you Aquitaine, and all that is his,
And you giue him for my sake but one louing kisse.
Prin. Come, to our Pauilion, Boyet is disposde.
755Bo. But to speak that in words, which his eie hath disclosd.
I onelie haue made a mouth of his eie,
By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.
Lad. Thou art an old Loue-monger, & speakest skilfully.
760Lad. 2. He is Cupids Graundfather, and learnes newes
of him.
Lad. 3. Then was Venus like her mother, for her father is
but grim.
Boy. Do you heare my mad Wenches?
765Lad. No.
Boy. What then, do you see?
Lad. I, our way to be gone.
Boy. You are too hard for mee.
Exeunt omnes.
770
Enter Braggart and his Boy.
Bra. Warble child, make passionate my sense of hearing.
Boy. Concolinel.
775Brag. Sweete Ayer, go tendernes of yeeres, take this Key,
giue enlargement to the Swaine, bring him festinatly hither,
I must imploy him in a letter to my loue.
Boy. Maister, will you win your loue with a french braule?
780Brag. How meanest thou? brawling in French.
Boy. No my complet Maister, but to Iigge off a tune at
the tongues ende, canarie to it with your feete, humour it
with turning vp your eylids, sigh a note and sing a note som-
time through the throate, if you swallowed loue with sing-
785ing loue sometime through: nose as if you snufft vp loue by
smelling loue with your hat penthouse like ore the shop of
your eyes, with your armes crost on your thinbellies doblet
like a Rabbet on a spit, or your handes in your pocket like a
man after the olde painting, and keepe not too long in one
790tune, but a snip and away: these are complementes, these
are humours, these betraie nice wenches that would be be-
traied without these, and make them men of note: do you
note men that most are affected to these.
795Brag. How hast thou purchased this experience?
Boy. By my penne of obseruation.
Brag. But o but o.
Boy. The Hobbie-horse is forgot.
Brag.Calst thou my loue Hobbi-horse.
800Boy. No Maister, the Hobbi-horse is but a colt, and your
loue perhaps, a hacknie: But haue you forgot your Loue?
Brag. Almost I had.
Boy. Necligent student, learne her by hart.
805Brag. By hart, and in hart boy.
Boy. And out of hart Maister: all those three I will
proue.
Brag. What wilt thou proue?
Boy. A man, if I liue (and this) by, in, and without, vpon the
810instant: by hart you loue her, because your hart cannot come
by her: in hart you loue her, because your hart is in loue
with her: and out of hart you loue her, being out of hart
that you cannot enioy her.
Brag. I am all these three.
815Boy. And three times as much more, and yet nothing
at all.
Brag. Fetch hither the Swaine, he must carrie me a letter.
Boy. A message well simpathisd, a Horse to be embassa-
820doure for an Asse.
Brag. Ha ha, What saiest thou?
Boy. Marrie sir, you must send the Asse vpon the Horse,
for he is verie slow gated: but I go.
Brag. The way is but short, away.
825Boy. As swift as Lead sir.
Brag. The meaning prettie ingenius, is not Lead a mettal
heauie, dull, and slow?
Boy. Minnime honest Maister, or rather Maister no.
Brag. I say Lead is slow.
830Boy. You are too swift sir to say so.
Is that Lead slow which is fierd from a Gunne?
Brag. Sweete smoke of Rhetorike,
He reputes me a Cannon, and the Bullet thats hee:
I shoote thee at the Swaine.
835Boy. Thump then, and I flee.
Brag. A most acute Iuuenall, volable and free of grace,
By thy fauour sweete Welkin, I must sigh in thy face:
Most rude melancholie, Valour giues thee place.
My Herald is returnd.
840
Enter Page and Clowne.
Pag. A wonder Maister, Heers a Costard broken in a shin.
Ar. Some enigma, some riddle, come, thy Lenuoy begin.
845Clo. No egma, no riddle, no lenuoy, no salue, in thee male sir.
O sir, Plantan, a pline Plantan: no lenuoy, no lenuoy, no Salue
sir, but a Plantan.
Ar. By vertue thou inforcest laughter, thy sillie thought,
my spleene, the heauing of my lunges prouokes me to radi-
850culous smyling: O pardone me my starres, doth the incon-
siderate take salue for lenuoy, and the word lenuoy for a salue?
Pag. Do the wise thinke them other, is not lenuoy a salue?
855A. No Page, it is an epilogue or discourse to make plaine,
Some obscure presedence that hath tofore bin saine.
856.1I will example it.
The Fox, the Ape, and the Humble-Bee,
Were still at oddes being but three.
Ther's the morrall: Now the lenuoy.
.5Pag. I will adde the lenuoy, say the morrall againe.
Ar. The Foxe, the Ape, and the Humble-Bee,
Were still at oddes, being but three.
Pag. Vntill the Goose came out of doore,
And staied the oddes by adding foure.
.10Now will I begin your morrall, and do you follow with
my lenuoy.
The Foxe, the Ape, and the Humble-Bee,
860Were still at oddes, being but three.
Arm. Vntill the Goose came out of doore,
Staying the oddes by adding foure.
Pag. A good Lenuoy, ending in the Goose: woulde you
desire more?
865Clo. The Boy hath sold him a bargaine, a Goose, that's flat.
Sir, your penny-worth is good, and your Goose be fat.
To sell a bargaine well is as cunning as fast and loose:
Let me see a fat Lenuoy, I thats a fat Goose.
Ar. Come hither, come hither: How did this argument
Boy. By saying that a Costard was broken in a shin.
Then cald you for the Lenuoy.
Clow. True, and I for a Plantan, thus came your argument
875Then the boyes fat Lenuoy, the Goose that you bought,
and he ended the market.
Ar. But tel me, How was there a Costard broken in a shin?
Pag. I will tell you sencibly.
880Clow. Thou hast no feeling of it Moth, I will speake that
I Costard running out, that was safely within,
Fell ouer the threshold, and broke my shin.
Arm. We will talke no more of this matter.
885Clow. Till there be more matter in the shin.
Arm. Sirra Costard, I will infranchise thee.
Clow. O marrie me to one Francis, I smell some Lenuoy,
some Goose in this.
Arm. By my sweete soule, I meane, setting thee at libertie.
890Enfreedoming thy person: thou wert emured, restrained,
captiuated, bound.
Clown. True, true, and now you wilbe my purgation,
and let me loose.
Arm. I giue thee thy libertie, set thee from durance, and in
895lewe thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: Beare this
significant to the countrey Maide Iaquenetta: there is remu-
neration, for the best ward of mine honour, is rewarding
my dependants. Moth, follow.
Pag. Like the sequell I. Signeur Costard adew.
Exit.
Clow. My sweete ouce of mans flesh, my in-conie Iew:
Now will I looke to his remuneration.
Remuneration, O that's the latine word for three-farthings:
Three-farthings remuration, What's the price of this yncle?
905i.d. no, Ile giue you a remuneration: Why? it carries it re-
muneration: Why? it is a fayrer name then French-Crowne.
I will neuer buy and sell out of this word.
Enter Berowne.
910Ber. O my good knaue Costard, exceedingly well met.
Clow. Pray you sir, How much Carnation Ribbon may
a man buy for a remuneration?
Ber. O what is a remuneration?
Cost. Marie sir, halfepennie farthing.
915Ber. O, why then threefarthing worth of Silke.
Cost. I thanke your worship, God be wy you.
Ber. O stay slaue, I must employ thee.
As thou wilt win my fauour, good my knaue,
Do one thing for me that I shall intreate.
920Clow. When would you haue it done sir?
Ber. O this after-noone.
Clow. Well, I will do it sir: Fare you well.
Ber. O thou knowest not what it is.
Clow. I shall know sir when I haue done it.
925Ber. Why villaine, thou must know first.
Clow. I will come to your worship to morrow morning.
Ber. It must be done this after noone,
Harke slaue, it is but this:
The Princesse comes to hunt here in the Parke,
930And in her traine there is a gentle Ladie:
When tongues speake sweetely, then they name her name,
And Rosaline they call her, aske for her:
And to her white hand see thou do commend
This seald-vp counsaile. Ther's thy guerdon: goe.
935Clow. Gardon, O sweete gardon, better then remuneratiõ.
a leuenpence-farthing better: most sweete gardon. I will
do it sir in print: gardon remuneration.
Exit.
Ber. O and I forsoth in loue, I that haue been loues whip?
A verie Bedell to a humerous sigh, a Crietick, nay a night-
watch Constable,
A domineering pedant ore the Boy, then whom no mor-
tall so magnificent.
945This wimpled whyning purblind wayward Boy,
This signior Iunios gyant dwarffe, dan Cupid,
Regent of Loue-rimes, Lord of folded armes,
Th'annoynted soueraigne of sighes and groones:
Liedge of all loyterers and malecontents:
950Dread Prince of Placcats, King of Codpeeces.
Sole Emperator and great generall
Of trotting Parrators (O my litle hart.)
And I to be a Corporall of his fielde,
And weare his coloures like a Tumblers hoope.
955What? I loue, I sue, I seeke a wife,
A woman that is like a Iermane Cloake,
Still a repairing: euer out of frame,
And neuer going a right, being a Watch:
But being watcht, that it may still go right.
960Nay to be periurde, which is worst of all:
And among three to loue the worst of all,
A whitly wanton, with a veluet brow,
With two pitch balles stucke in her face for eyes.
I and by heauen, one that will do the deede,
965Though Argus were her eunuch and her garde.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
To pray for her, go to: it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect,
Of his almightie dreadfull little might.
970Well, I will loue, write, sigh, pray, shue, grone,
Some men must loue my Ladie, and some Ione.
Enter the Princesse, a Forrester, her Ladyes,
and her Lordes
975Quee. Was that the king that spurd his horse so hard,
Against the steepe vp rising of the hill?
Forr. I know not, but I thinke it was not he.
Quee. Who ere a was, a showd a mounting minde.
Well Lords, to day we shall haue our dispatch,
980Ore Saterday we will returne to Fraunce.
Then Forrester my friend, Where is the Bush
That we must stand and play the murtherer in?
Forr. Heereby vpon the edge of yonder Coppice,
A Stand where you may make the fairest shoote.
985Qnee. I thanke my Beautie, I am faire that shoote,
And thereupon thou speakst the fairest shoote.
Forr. Pardon me Madam, for I meant not so.
Quee. What, what? First praise mee, and againe say no.
O short liu'd pride. Not faire? alacke for woe
990For. Yes Madam faire.
Quee. Nay, neuer paint me now,
Where faire is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
Heere (good my glasse) take this for telling trew:
Faire payment for foule wordes, is more then dew.
995For. No thing but faire is that which you inherrit.
Quee. See see, my beautie wilbe sau'd by merrit.
O heresy in faire, fit for these dayes,
A giuing hand, though fowle, shall haue faire praise.
But come, the Bow: Now Mercie goes to kill,
1000And shooting well, is then accounted ill:
Thus will I saue my Credite in the shoote,
Not wounding, pittie would not let me doote.
If wounding then it was to shew my skill,
That more for praise, then purpose meant to kill.
1005And out of question so it is sometimes:
Glorie growes guyltie of detested crimes,
When for Fames sake, for praise an outward part,
We bend to that, the working of the hart.
As I for praise alone now seeke to spill
1010The poore Deares blood, that my hart meanes no ill.
Boy. Do not curst wiues hold that selfe-soueraigntie
Onely for praise sake, when they striue to be
Lords ore their Lordes?
Quee. Onely for praise, and praise we may afford,
1015To any Lady that subdewes a Lord.
Enter Clowne.
Boyet, Here comes a member of the common wealth.
Clo. God dig-you-den al, pray you which is the head lady?
1020Que. Thou shalt know her fellow by the rest that haue no
Clow. Which is the greatest Ladie, the highest?
Quee. The thickest, and the tallest.
Clow. The thickest, and the tallest: it is so, trueth is trueth.
1025And your waste Mistrs were as slender as my wit,
One a these Maides girdles for your waste should be fit.
Are not you the chiefe woman? You are the thickest heere.
Quee. Whats your will sir? Whats your will?
Clow. I haue a Letter from Monsier Berowne,
1030to one Ladie Rosaline.
Que. O thy letter, thy letter: He's a good friend of mine.
Stand a side good bearer. Boyet you can carue,
Breake vp this Capon.
1035Boyet I am bound to serue.
This letter is mistooke: it importeth none heere.
It is writ to Iaquenetta.
Quee. We will reade it, I sweare.
Breake the necke of the Waxe, and euery one giue eare.
1040Boyet
}BY heauen, that thou art faire, is most infallible:
true that thou art beautious, trueth it selfe that
thou art louelie: more fairer then faire, beautifull then beau-
tious, truer then trueth it selfe: haue comiseration on thy
heroicall Vassall. The magnanimous and most illustrate
1045King Cophetua set eie vpon the pernicious and indubitaTe
Begger Zenelophon: and he it was that might rightly say,
Veni, vidi, vici: Which to annothanize in the vulgar, O base
and obscure vulgar; videliset, He came, See, and ouercame:
1050He came, one; see, two; couercame, three. Who came? the
King. Why did he come? to see. Why did he see? to ouer-
come. To whom came he? to the Begger. What saw he? the
Begger. Who ouercame he? the Begger. The conclusion is
victorie: On whose side? the King: the captiue is inricht, on
1055whose side? the Beggers. The catastrophe is a Nuptiall, on
whose side? the Kinges: no, on both in one, or one in both.
I am the King (for so standes the comparison) thou the Beg-
ger, for so witnesseth thy lowlines. Shall I commande thy
1060loue? I may. Shall I enforce thy loue? I coulde. Shall I en-
treate thy loue? I will. What, shalt thou exchange for raggs
roabes, for tittles tytles, for thy selfe, mee. Thus expecting
thy replie, I prophane my lippes on thy foote, my eyes on
thy picture, and my hart on thy euerie part.
Thine in the dearest designe of industri,
Don Adriana de Armatho.
Thus dost thou heare the nemean Lion roare,
GAInst thee thou Lambe, that standest as his pray:
1070Submissiue fall his princely feete before,
And he from forrage will incline to play.
But if thou striue (poore soule) what art thou then?
Foode for his rage, repasture for his den.
Quee. What plume of fethers is he that indited this letter?
1075What vaine? What Wethercock? Did you euer heare better?
Boy. I am much deceiued, but I remember the stile.
Quee. Els your memorie is bad, going ore it erewhile.
Boy. This Armado is a Spaniard that keepes here in court,
1080A Phantasime a Monarcho, and one that makes sport
To the Prince and his Booke-mates.
Quee. Thou fellow, a worde.
Who gaue thee this letter?
Clow. I tolde you, my Lord.
1085Quee. To whom shouldst thou giue it?
Clow. From my Lord to my Ladie.
Quee. From which Lord, to which Ladie?
Clow. From my Lord Berowne, a good Maister of mine,
To a Ladie of France, that he calde Rosaline.
1090Quee. Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come Lords away.
Here sweete, put vp this, twilbe thine annother day.
Boy. Who is the shooter? Who is the shooter?
Rosa. Shall I teach you to know.
1095Boy. I my continent of beautie.
Rosa. Why she that beares the Bow. Finely put off.
Boy. My Lady goes to kill hornes, but if thou marrie,
hang me by the necke, if horns that yeere miscarrie.
Finely put on.
1100Rosa. Well then I am the shooter.
Boy. And who is your Deare?
Rosa. If we choose by the hornes, your selfe come not
neare. Finely put on in deede.
Maria. You still wrangle with her Boyet, and she strikes
1105at the brow.
Boyet. But she her selfe is hit lower: HaUe I hit her now?
Rosa. Shall I come vpon thee with an olde saying, that
was a man when King Pippen of Frannce was a litle boy, as
1110touchiug the hit it.
Boy. So I may answere thee with one as olde that was a
woman when queene Guinouer of Brittaine was a litle wench
as toching the hit it.
Rosa. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
1115Thou canst not hit it my good man.
Exit.
Boy. And I cannot, cannot, cannot: and I cannot, an other
Clo. By my troth most plesant, how both did fit it.
Mar. A marke marueilous wel shot, for they both did hit.
Bo. A mark, O mark but that mark: a mark saies my Lady.
Let the mark haue a prick in't, to meate at, if it may be.
Mar. Wide a'the bow hand, yfaith your hand is out.
1125Clo. Indeed a'must shoot nearer, or hele neare hit the clout.
Boy. And if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
Clo. Then will she get the vpshoot by cleauing the is in.
Ma. Come come, you talke greasely, your lips grow fowle.
Cl. Shes to hard for you at pricks, sir challeng her to bowle
1135Bo. I feare too much rubbing: good night my good owle.
Clo. By my soule a Swaine, a most simple Clowne.
Lord, Lord, how the Ladies and I haue put him downe.
O my troth most sweete iestes, most inconic vulgar wit,
1140When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenly as it were, so fit.
Armatho ath toothen side, o a most daintie man,
To see him walke before a Lady, and to beare her Fann.
To see him kisse his hand, & how most sweetly a wil sweare:
And his Page atother side, that handfull of wit,
Ah heauens, it is most patheticall nit.
Sowla, sowla.
Exeunt. Shoot within.
1150
Enter Dull, Holofernes, the Pedant and Nathaniel.
Nat. Very reuerent sport truly, and done in the testimonie
of a good conscience.
Ped. The Deare was (as you know) sanguis in blood, ripe
as the Pomwater, who now hangeth like a Iewel in the eare
1155of Celo the skie, the welken the heauen, & anon falleth like
a Crab on the face of Terra, the soyle, the land, the earth.
Curat Nath. Truely M. Holofernes, the epythithes are
sweetly varried like a scholler at the least: but sir I assure ye
1160it was a Bucke of the first head.
Holo. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
Dul. Twas not a haud credo, twas a Pricket.
Holo. Most barbarous intimation: yet a kind of insinua-
tion, as it were in via, in way of explication facere: as it were
1165replication, or rather ostentare, to show as it were his inclina-
tion after his vndressed, vnpolished, vneducated, vnpruned,
vntrained, or rather vnlettered, or ratherest vnconfirmed fa-
shion, to insert again my haud credo for a Deare.
1170Dul. I said the Deare was not a haud credo, twas a Pricket.
Holo. Twice sodd simplicitie, bis coctus, O thou monster
ignorance, How deformed doost thou looke.
Nath. Sir he hath neuer fed of the dainties that are bred
1175in a booke.
He hath not eate paper as it were: he hath not drunke inck.
His intellect is not replenished, he is only an annimall, only
sensible in the duller partes: and such barren plantes are
1180 set before vs, that we thankful should be: which we taste,
and feeling, are for those partes that doe fructifie in vs
more then he.
For as it would ill become me to be vaine, indistreell, or a
1185So were there a patch set on Learning, to see him in a schole.
But omne bene say I, being of an olde Fathers minde,
Many can brooke the weather, that loue not the winde.
Dul. You two are book-men, Can you tel me by your wit,
1190What was a month old at Cains birth, that's not fiue weeks
old as yet?
Holo. Dictisima goodman Dull, dictisima goodman Dull.
Dul. What is dictima?
1195Nath. A title to Phebe, to Luna, to the Moone.
Holo. The Moone was a month old when Adam was no
And rought not to fiue-weeks when he came to fiuescore.
Th'allusion holdes in the Exchange.
1200Dul. Tis true in deede, the Collusion holdes in the Ex-
Holo. God comfort thy capacitie, I say th'allusion holdes
in the Exchange.
Dul. And I say the polusion holdes in the Exchange: for
1205the Moone is neuer but a month olde: and I say beside
that, twas a Pricket that the Princesse kild.
Holo. Sir Nathaniel, will you heare an extemporall Epy-
taph on the death of the Deare, and to humour the igno-
rault cald the Deare: the Princesse kild a Pricket.
Nath. Perge, good M. Holofernes perge, so it shall please
you to abrogate squirilitie.
Holo. I wil somthing affect the letter, for it argues facilitie.
1215The prayfull Princesse pearst and prickt
a prettie pleasing Pricket,
Some say a Sore, but not a sore,
till now made sore with shooting.
The Dogges did yell, put ell to Sore,
1220 then Sorell iumps from thicket:
Or Pricket-sore, or els Sorell,
the people fall a hooting.
If Sore be sore, then el to Sore,
makes fiftie sores o sorell:
1225Of one sore I an hundred make
by adding but one more l.
Nath. A rare talent.
Dull. If a talent be a claw, looke how he clawes him
with a talent.
1230Nath. This is a gyft that I haue simple: simple, a foolish
extrauagant spirit, full of formes, figures, shapes, obiectes,
Ideas, aprehentions, motions, reuolutions. These are begot in
the ventricle of Memorie, nourisht in the wombe of prima-
ter, and deliuered vpon the mellowing of occasion: But the
1235gyft is good in those whom it is acute, and I am thankfull
for it.
Holo. Sir, I prayse the L. for you, and so may my parishi-
oners, for their Sonnes are well tuterd by you, and their
Daughters profite very greatly vnder you: you are a good
1240member of the common wealth.
Nath. Me hercle, yf their Sonnes be ingenous, they shal
want no instruction: If their Daughters be capable, I will
put it to them. But Vir sapis qui pauca loquitur, a soule Femi-
nine saluteth vs.
1245
Enter Iaquenetta and the Clowne.
Iaquenetta God giue you good morrow M. Person.
Nath. Maister Person, quasi Person? And if one shoulde
be perst, Which is the one?
Clo. Marrie M. Scholemaster, he that is liklest to a hoggs-
Nath. Of persing a Hogshead, a good luster of conceit
in a turph of Earth, Fier enough for a Flint, Pearle enough
for a Swine: tis prettie, it is well.
Iaque. Good M. Parson be so good as read me this letter,
1255it was geuen me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armatho:
I beseech you read it.
Nath. Facile precor gellida, quando pecas omnia sub vmbra ru-
minat, and so foorth. Ah good olde Mantuan, I may speake
of thee as the traueiler doth of Venice, vemchie, vencha, que non
1260te vnde, que non te perreche. Olde Mantuan, olde Mantuan,
Who vnderstandeth thee not, loues thee not, vt re sol la mi fa:
Vnder pardon sir, What are the contentes? or rather as Hor-
race sayes in his, What my soule verses.
Holo. I sir, and very learned.
1265Nath. Let me heare a staffe, a stauze, a verse, Lege domine
If Loue make me forsworne, how shall I sweare to loue?
Ah neuer fayth could hold, yf not to beautie vowed.
Though to my selfe forsworne, to thee Ile faythfull proue.
1270Those thoughts to me were Okes, to thee like Osiers bowed
Studie his byas leaues, and makes his booke thine eyes.
Where all those pleasures liue, that Art would comprehend.
1275If knowledge be the marke, to know thee shall suffise.
Well learned is that tongue, that well can thee commend.
All ignorant that soule, that sees thee without wonder.
Which is to mee some prayse, that I thy partes admire,
Thy eie Ioues lightning beares, thy voyce his dreadful thũder
Which not to anger bent, is musique, and sweete fier.
Celestiall as thou art, Oh pardon loue this wrong,
That singes heauens prayse, with such an earthly tong.
Pedan. You finde not the apostraphas, and so misse the
1285accent. Let me superuise the cangenet.
Nath. Here are onely numbers ratefied, but for the ele-
gancie, facilitie, and golden cadence of poesie caret: Ouiddius
Naso was the man. And why in deed Naso, but for smel-
ling out the odoriferous flowers of fancie? the ierkes of in-
1290uention imitarie is nothing: So doth the Hound his maister,
the Ape his keeper, the tyred Horse his rider: But Damosella
virgin, Was this directed to you?
Iaq. I sir from one mounsier Berowne, one of the strange
1295Queenes Lordes.
Nath. I will ouerglaunce the superscript.
To the snow-white hand of the most bewtious Lady Rosaline.
I will looke againe on the intellect of the letter, for the no-
mination of the partie written to the person written vnto.
Your Ladiships in all desired imployment, Berowne.
Ped. Sir Holofernes, this Berowne is one of the Votaries
with the King, and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent
of the stranger Queenes: which accidentally, or by the way
1305of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and goe my sweete,
deliuer this Paper into the royall hand of the King, it may
concerne much: stay not thy complement, I forgine thy
dewtie, adue.
Mayd. Good Costard go with me: sir God saue your life.
Cost. Haue with thee my girle.
Exit.
Holo. Sir you haue done this in the feare of God verie reli-
giously: and as a certaine Father saith
Ped. Sir tell not mee of the Father, I do feare colourable
1315coloures. But to returne to the Verses, Did they please you
sir Nathaniel?
Nath. Marueilous well for the pen.
Peda. I do dine to day at the fathers of a certaine pupill of
mine, where if (before repast) it shall please you to gratifie
1320the table with a Grace, I will on my priuiledge I haue with
the parentes of the foresaid childe or pupill, vndertake your
bien venuto, where I will proue those Verses to be very vn-
learned, neither sauouring of Poetrie, wit, nor inuention.
I beseech your societie.
Nath. And thanke you to: for societie (saith the text)
is the happines of life.
Peda. And certes the text most infallibly concludes it.
Sir I do inuite you too, you shall not say me nay: pauca verba.
Away, the gentles are at their game, and we will to our re-
creation.
Exeunt.
Enter Berowne with a paper in his hand, alone.
Berow. The King he is hunting the Deare,
1335 I am coursing my selfe.
They haue pitcht a Toyle, I am toyling in a pytch, pytch
that defiles; defile, a foule worde: Well, set thee downe
sorrow; for so they say the foole sayd, and so say I, and I the
foole: Well proued wit. By the Lord this Loue is as madd
1340as Aiax, it kills Sheepe, it kills mee, I a Sheepe well prooued
againe a my side. I will not loue; if I do hang mee: I'fayth
I will not. O but her eye: by this light, but for her eye, I
would not loue her; yes for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing
in the world but lie, and lie in my throate. By heauen I doe
1345loue, and it hath taught me to rime, and to be mallicholie:
and heere is part of my Rime, and heare my mallicholie.
Well, she hath one a'my Sonnets already, the Clowne bore
it, the Foole sent it, and the Lady hath it: sweete Clowne,
1350sweeter Foole, sweetest Lady. By the worlde, I woulde not
care a pin, if the other three were in. Heere comes one with
a paper, God giue him grace to grone.
He standes a side.The King entreth.
King. Ay mee!
1355Be. Shot by heauen, proceed sweet Cupid, thou hast thumpt
him with thy Birdbolt vnder the left papp: in fayth secrets.
King.
So sweete a kisse the golden Sunne giues not,
To those fresh morning dropps vpon the Rose,
1360As thy eye beames, when their fresh rayse haue smot.
The night of dew that on my cheekes downe flowes,
Nor shines the siluer Moone one halfe so bright,
Through the transparent bosome of the deepe,
As doth thy face through teares of mine giue light:
1365Thou shinst in euerie teare that I do weepe,
No drop but as a Coach doth carrie thee:
So ridest thou triumphing in my wo.
Do but beholde the teares that swell in me,
And they thy glorie through my griefe will show:
1370But do not loue thy selfe, then thou will keepe
My teares for glasses, and still make me weepe.
O Queene of queenes, how farre doost thou excell,
No thought can thinke, nor tongue of mortall tell.
How shall she know my griefes? Ile drop the paper.
1375Sweete leaues shade follie. Who is he comes heere?
Enter Longauill.
The King steps a side.
What Longauill, and reading: listen eare.
Berow. Now in thy likenesse, one more foole appeare.
Long. Ay mee! I am forsworne.
1380Berow. Why he comes in like a periure, wearing papers.
Long. In loue I hope, sweete fellowship in shame.
Ber. One drunkard loues an other of the name.
Long. Am I the first that haue been periurd so?
Ber. I could put thee in comfort, not by two that I know,
1385Thou makest the triumpherie, the corner cap of societie,
The shape of Loues Tiburne, that hanges vp Simplicitie.
Long. I feare these stubborne lines lacke power to moue.
O sweete Maria, Empresse of my Loue,
These numbers will I teare, and write in prose.
1390Ber. O Rimes are gardes on wanton Cupids hose,
Disfigure not his Shop.
Long. This same shall go.
He reades the Sonnet.
Did not the heanenly Rethorique of thine eye,
Gainst whom the world cannot holde argument,
1395Perswade my hart to this false periurie?
Vowes for thee broke deserue not punishment.
A Woman I forswore, but I will proue,
Thou being a Goddesse, I forswore not thee.
My Vow was earthly, thou a heauenly Loue.
1400Thy grace being gainde, cures all disgrace in mee.
Vowes are but breath, and breath a vapoure is.
Then thou faire Sunne, which on my earth doost shine,
Exhalst this vapour-vow in thee it is:
If broken then, it is no fault of mine:
1405If by mee broke, what foole is not so wise,
To loose an oth, to winn a Parradise?
Bero. This is the lyuer veine, which makes flesh a deitie.
A greene Goose, a Goddesse, pure pure ydotarie.
God amende vs, God amende, we are much out a th'way.
1410
Enter Dumaine.
Long. By whom shall I send this (companie?) Stay.
Berow. All hid, all hid, an olde infant play,
Like a demie God, here sit I in the skie,
And wretched fooles secrets heedfully ore ey.
1415More Sacks to the myll. O heauens I haue my wysh,
Dumaine transformed, foure Woodcocks in a dysh.
Duma. O most deuine Kate.
Berow. O most prophane coxcombe.
Duma. By heauen the woonder in a mortall eye.
1420Ber. By earth she is not, corporall, there you ly.
Duma. Her Amber heires for foule hath amber coted.
Ber. An amber colourd Rauen was well noted.
Duma. As vpright as the Ceder.
Ber. Stoope I say, her shoulder is with child.
1425Duma. As faire as day.
Ber. I as some dayes, but then no Sunne must shine.
Duma. O that I had my wish?
Long. And I had mine.
King. And mine too good Lord.
1430Ber. Amen, so I had mine: Is not that a good word?
Duma. I would forget her, but a Feuer shee
Raignes in my blood, and will remembred be.
Ber. A Feuer in your blood, why then incision
Would let her out in Sawcers, sweete misprison.
1435Dum. Once more Ile reade the Odo that I haue writ.
Ber. Once more Ile marke how Loue can varrie Wit.
Dumaine reads his Sonnet.
On a day, alacke the day:
Loue, whose Month is euer May:
1440 Spied a blossome passing faire,
Playing in the wanton aire:
Through the Veluet, leaues the wind,
All vnseene, can passage finde:
That the Louer sicke to death,
1445 Wish himselfe the heauens breath.
Ayre (quoth he) thy cheekes may blow,
Ayre would I might triumph so.
But alacke my hand is sworne,
Nere to plucke thee from thy throne:
1450 Vow alacke for youth vnmeete,
Youth so apt to pluck a sweete.
Do not call it sinne in me,
That I am forsworne for thee:
Thou for whom Ioue would sweare,
1455 Iuno but an Æthiop were,
And denie himselfe for Ioue,
Turning mortall for thy loue.
This will I send, and something els more plaine.
That shall expresse my trueloues fasting paine.
1460O would the King, Berowne, and Longauill,
Were Louers too, ill to example ill,
Would from my forehead wipe a periurde note:
For none offende, where all alike do dote.
Long. Dumaine thy Loue is farre from charitie,
1465That in loues griefe desirst societie:
You may looke pale, but I should blush I know,
To be ore-hard and taken napping so.
King. Come sir, you blush: as his, your case is such.
You chide at him, offending twice as much.
1470You do not loue Maria? Longauile,
Did neuer Sonnet for her sake compile,
Nor neuer lay his wreathed armes athwart
His louing bosome, to keepe downe his hart.
I haue been closely shrowded in this bush,
1475And markt you both, and for you both did blush.
I heard your guyltie Rimes, obserude your fashion:
Saw sighes reeke from you, noted well your pashion.
Ay mee sayes one! O Ioue the other cryes!
One her haires were Golde, Christal the others eyes.
1480You would for Parradise breake Fayth and troth,
And Ioue for your Loue would infringe an oth.
What will Berowne say when that he shall heare
Fayth infringed, which such zeale did sweare.
How will he scorne, how will he spende his wit?
1485How will he triumph, leape, and laugh at it?
For all the wealth that euer I did see,
I would not haue him know so much by mee.
Bero. Now step I foorth to whip hipocrisie.
Ah good my Leidge, I pray thee pardon mee.
1490Good hart, What grace hast thou thus to reproue
These Wormes for louing, that art most in loue?
Your eyes do make no couches in your teares.
There is no certaine Princesse that appeares.
Youle not be periurde, tis a hatefull thing:
1495Tush, none but Minstrels like of Sonnetting.
But are you not a shamed? nay, are you not
All three of you, to be thus much ore'shot?
You found his Moth, the King your Moth did see:
But I a Beame do finde in each of three.
1500O what a Scaene of foolrie haue I seene,
Of sighes, of grones, of sorrow, and of teene:
O mee, with what strickt patience haue I sat,
To see a King transformed to a Gnat.
To see great Hercules whipping a Gigge,
1505And profound Sallomon to tune a Iigge.
And Nestor play at push-pin with the boyes,
And Crittick Tymon laugh at idle toyes.
Where lies thy griefe, o tell me good Dumaine?
And gentle Longauill, where lies thy paine?
1510And where my Liedges? all about the brest.
A Caudle hou!
King. Too bitter is thy iest.
Are we betrayed thus to thy ouer-view?
Ber. Not you by mee, but I betrayed to you.
1515I that am honest, I that holde it sinne
To breake the vow I am ingaged in.
I am betrayed by keeping companie
With men like men of inconstancie.
When shall you see mee write a thing in rime?
1520Or grone for Ione? or spende a minutes time,
In pruning mee when shall you heare that I will prayse a
hand, a foote, a face, an eye: a gate, a state, a brow, a brest,
a wast, a legge, a limme.
King. Soft, Whither a way so fast?
1525A true man, or a theefe, that gallops so.
Ber. I post from Loue, good Louer let me go.
Iaqu. God blesse the King.
Enter Iaquenetta and Clowne.
King. What present hast thou there?
1530Clow. Some certaine treason.
King. What makes treason heere?
Clow. Nay it makes nothing sir.
King. Yf it marr nothing neither,
The treason and you goe in peace away togeather.
1535Iaque. I beseech your Grace let this Letter be read,
Our person misdoubts it: twas treason he said.
King. Berowne reade it ouer.
He reades the letter.
King. Where hadst thou it?
Iaqu. Of Costard.
1540King. Where hadst thou it?
Cost. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
Kin. How now, What is in you? Why dost thou teare it?
Ber. A toy my Leedge, a toy: your grace needs not feare it.
1545Long. It did moue him to passion, & therfore lets heare it.
Dum. It is Berownes writing, and heere is his name.
Berow. Ah you whoreson loggerhead, you were borne to
do me shame.
1550Guiltie my Lord, guiltie: I confesse, I confesse.
King. What?
Ber. That you three fooles, lackt me foole, to make vp the
Hee, hee, and you: and you my Leege, and I,
1555Are pick-purses in Loue, and we deserue to die.
O dismisse this audience, and I shall tell you more.
Duma. Now the number is euen.
Bero. True true, we are fower: will these turtles be gon?
1560King. Hence sirs, away.
Clow. Walke aside the true folke, and let the traytors stay.
Ber. Sweete Lords, sweete Louers, O let vs imbrace,
As true we are as flesh and blood can be,
The Sea will ebb and flow, heauen shew his face:
1565Young blood doth not obay an olde decree.
We can not crosse the cause why we were borne:
Therefore of all handes must we be forsworne.
King. What, did these rent lines shew some loue of thine?
1570Ber. Did they quoth you? Who sees the heauenly Rosaline,
That (like a rude and sauadge man of Inde.)
At the first opning of the gorgious East,
Bowes not his vassall head, and strooken blind.
Kisses the base ground with obedient breast.
1575What peromptorie Eagle-sighted eye
Dares looke vpon the heauen of her brow,
That is not blinded by her maiestie?
King. What zeale, what furie, hath inspirde thee now?
My Loue (her Mistres) is a gracious Moone,
1580Shee (an attending Starre) scarce seene a light.
Ber. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Berowne.
O, but for my Loue, day would turne to night,
Of all complexions the culd soueraigntie,
Do meete as at a faire in her faire cheeke,
1585Where seuerall worthies make one dignitie,
Where nothing wantes, that want it selfe doth seeke.
Lend me the florish of all gentle tongues,
Fie paynted Rethoricke, O shee needes it not,
To thinges of sale, a sellers prayse belonges:
1590She passes prayse, then prayse too short doth blot.
A witherd Hermight fiuescore winters worne,
Might shake off fiftie, looking in her eye:
Beautie doth varnish Age, as if new borne,
And giues the Crutch the Cradles infancie.
1595O tis the Sunne that maketh all thinges shine.
King. By heauen, thy Loue is blacke as Ebonie.
Berow. Is Ebonie like her? O word deuine!
A wife of such wood were felicitie.
O who can giue an oth? Where is a booke?
1600That I may sweare Beautie doth beautie lacke,
If that she learne not of her eye to looke:
No face is fayre that is not full so blacke.
King. O paradox, Blacke is the badge of Hell,
The hue of dungions, and the Schoole of night:
1605And beauties crest becomes the heauens well.
Ber. Diuels soonest tempt resembling spirites of light.
O if in blacke my Ladyes browes be deckt,
It mournes, that painting vsurping haire
Should rauish dooters with a false aspect:
1610And therefore is she borne to make blacke fayre.
Her fauour turnes the fashion of the dayes,
For natiue blood is counted paynting now:
And therefore redd that would auoyde disprayse,
Paintes it selfe blacke, to imitate her brow.
1615Duma. To looke like her are Chimnie-sweepers blake.
Long. And since her time are Colliers counted bright.
King. And Æthiops of their sweete complexion crake.
Duma. Darke needes no Candles now, for darke is light.
Ber. Your Mistresses dare neuer come in raine,
1620For feare their colours should be washt away.
King. Twere good yours did: for sir to tell you plaine,
Ile finde a fayrer face not washt to day.
Ber. Ile proue her faire, or talke till doomse-day heere.
King. No Diuel will fright thee then so much as shee.
1625Duma. I neuer knew man holde vile stuffe so deare.
Long. Looke, heer's thy loue, my foote and her face see.
Ber. O if the streetes were paued with thine eyes,
Her feete were much too daintie for such tread.
Duma. O vile, then as she goes what vpward lyes?
1630The streete should see as she walkt ouer head.
King. But what of this, are we not all in loue?
Ber. O nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworne.
King. Then leaue this chat, and good Berowne now proue
Our louing lawfull, and our fayth not torne.
1635Duma. I marie there, some flatterie for this euyll.
Long. O some authoritie how to proceede,
Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheate the diuell.
Duma. Some salue for periurie.
Ber. O tis more then neede.
1640Haue at you then affections men at armes,
Consider what you first did sweare vnto:
To fast, to study, and to see no woman:
Flat treason gainst the kingly state of youth.
Say, Can you fast? your stomacks are too young:
1645And abstinence ingenders maladies.
And where that you haue vowd to studie (Lordes)
In that each of you haue forsworne his Booke.
Can you still dreame and poare and thereon looke.
For when would you my Lord, or you, or you,
1650Haue found the ground of Studies excellence,
Without the beautie of a womans face?
From womens eyes this doctrine I deriue,
They are the Ground, the Bookes, the Achadems,
From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire.
1655Why vniuersall plodding poysons vp
The nimble spirites in the arteries,
As motion and long during action tyres
The sinnowy vigour of the trauayler.
Now for not looking on a womans face,
1660You haue in that forsworne the vse of eyes:
And studie too, the causer of your vow.
For where is any Authour in the worlde,
Teaches such beautie as a womas eye:
Learning is but an adiunct to our selfe,
1665And where we are, our Learning likewise is.
Then when our selues we see in Ladies eyes,
With our selues.
Do we not likewise see our learning there?
O we haue made a Vow to studie, Lordes,
1670And in that Vow we haue forsworne our Bookes:
For when would you (my Leedge) or you, or you?
In leaden contemplation haue found out
Such fierie Numbers as the prompting eyes,
Of beautis tutors haue inritcht you with:
1675Other slow Artes intirely keepe the braine:
And therefore finding barraine practizers,
Scarce shew a haruest of their heauie toyle.
But Loue first learned in a Ladies eyes,
Liues not alone emured in the braine:
1680But with the motion of all elamentes,
Courses as swift as thought in euery power,
And giues to euery power a double power,
Aboue their functions and their offices.
It addes a precious seeing to the eye:
1685A Louers eyes will gaze an Eagle blinde.
A Louers eare will heare the lowest sound.
When the suspitious head of theft is stopt.
Loues feeling is more soft and sensible,
Then are the tender hornes of Cockled Snayles.
1690Loues tongue proues daintie, Bachus grosse in taste,
For Valoure, is not Loue a Hercules?
Still clyming trees in the Hesperides.
Subtit as Sphinx, as sweete and musicall,
As bright Appolos Lute, strung with his haire.
1695And when Loue speakes, the voyce of all the Goddes,
Make heauen drowsie with the harmonie.
Neuer durst Poet touch a pen to write,
Vntill his Incke were tempred with Loues sighes:
O then his lines would rauish sauage eares,
1700And plant in Tyrants milde humilitie.
From womens eyes this doctrine I deriue.
They sparcle still the right promethean fier,
They are the Bookes, the Artes, the Achademes,
That shew, containe, and nourish all the worlde.
1705Els none at all in ought proues excellent.
Then fooles you were, these women to forsweare:
Or keeping what is sworne, you will proue fooles,
For Wisedomes sake, a worde that all men loue:
Or for Loues sake, a worde that loues all men.
1710Or for Mens sake, the authour of these Women:
Or Womens sake, by whom we Men are Men.
Lets vs once loose our othes to finde our selues,
Or els we loose our selues, to keepe our othes:
It is Religion to be thus forsworne.
1715For Charitie it selfe fulfilles the Law:
And who can seuer Loue from Charitie.
King. Saint Cupid then and Souldiers to the fielde.
Berow. Aduaunce your standars, and vpon them Lords.
Pell, mell, downe with them: but be first aduisd,
1720In conflict that you get the Sunne of them.
Long. Now to plaine dealing. Lay these glozes by,
Shall we resolue to woe these gyrles of Fraunce?
King. And winn them too, therefore let vs deuise,
Some enterteinment for them in their Tentes.
1725Ber. First from the Parke let vs conduct them thither,
Then homeward euery man attach the hand
Of his faire Mistres, in the afternoone
We will with some strange pastime solace them:
Such as the shortnesse of the time can shape,
1730For Reuels, Daunces, Maskes, and merrie houres,
Forerunne faire Loue, strewing her way with flowers.
King. Away, away, no time shalbe omitted,
That will be time and may by vs befitted.
Ber. Alone alone sowed Cockell, reapt no Corne,
1735And Iustice alwayes whirles in equall measure:
Light Wenches may proue plagues to men forsorne,
If so our Copper byes no better treasure.
Enter the Pedant, the Curat, and Dull.
1740Pedant. Satis quid sufficit.
Curat. I prayse God for you sir, your reasons at Dinner
haue been sharpe & sententious: pleasant without scurillitie,
wittie without affection, audatious without impudencie,
learned without opinion, and strange without heresie: I did
1745conuerse this quondam day with a companion of the kings,
who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Ar-
matho.
Ped. Noui hominum tanquam te, His humour is loftie, his
discourse peremptorie: his tongue fyled, his eye ambitious,
1750his gate maiesticall, and his generall behauiour vaine, redicu-
lous, & thrasonicall. He is too picked, to spruce, too affected,
to od as it were, too peregrinat as I may call it.
Curat. A most singuler and choyce Epithat,
1755
Draw-out his Table-booke.
Peda. He draweth out the thred of his verbositie, finer
then the staple of his argument. I abhorre such phanatticall
phantasims, such insociable and poynt deuise companions,
such rackers of ortagriphie, as to speake dout fine, when he
1760should say doubt; det, when he shold pronounce debt; d e b 't,
not det: he clepeth a Calfe, Caufe: halfe, haufe: neighbour
vocatur nebour; neigh abreuiated ne: this is abhominable,
which he would call abbominable, it insinuateth me of in-
famie: ne inteligis domine, to make frantique lunatique?
Curat. Laus deo, bene intelligo.
Peda. Bome boon for boon prescian, a litle scratcht, twil serue.
Enter Bragart, Boy.
1770Curat. Vides ne quis venit?
Peda. Video, et gaudio.
Brag. Chirra.
Peda. Quari Chirra, not Sirra?
Brag. Men of peace well incontred.
1775Ped. Most millitarie sir salutation.
Boy. They haue been at a great feast of Languages, and
stolne the scraps.
Clow. O they haue lyud long on the almsbasket of wordes.
I maruaile thy M. hath not eaten thee for a worde, for thou
1780art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus:
Thou art easier swallowed then a flapdragon.
Page. Peace, the peale begins.
Brag. Mounsier, are you not lettred?
1785Page. Yes yes, he teaches boyes the Horne-booke: What
is Ab speld backward with the horne on his head?
Poda. Ba, puericia with a horne added.
Pag. Ba most seely Sheepe, with a horne: you heare his
1790Peda. Quis quis thou Consonant?
Pag. The last of the fiue Vowels if You repeate them,
or the fift if I.
Peda. I will repeate them: a e I.
Pag. The Sheepe, the other two concludes it o u.
1795Brag. Now by the sault wane of the meditaranium, a
sweete tutch, a quicke vene we of wit, snip snap, quicke and
home, it reioyceth my intellect, true wit.
Page. Offerd by a childe to an old man: which is wit-old.
1800Peda. What is the figure? What is the figure?
Page. Hornes.
Peda. Thou disputes like an Infant: goe whip thy Gigg.
Pag. Lende me your Horne to make one, and I will whip
1805about your Infamie vnū cita a gigge of a Cuckolds horne.
Clow. And I had but one peny in the world thou shouldst
haue it to buy Ginger bread: Holde, there is the verie
Remuneration I had of thy Maister, thou halfepennie
1810purse of wit, thou Pidgin-egge of discretion. O and the
heauens were so pleased, that thou wart but my Ba-
stard; What a ioyfull father wouldest thou make me?
Go to, thou hast it ad dungil at the fingers ends, as they say.
Peda. Oh I smell false Latine, dunghel for vnguem.
1815Brag. Arts-man preambulat, we will be singuled from the
barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the Charg-House
on the top of the Mountaine?
Peda. Or Mons the hill.
Brag. At your sweete pleasure, for the Mountaine.
1820Peda. I do sans question.
Bra. Sir, it is the Kings most sweete pleasur & affection,
to congratulate the Princesse at her Pauilion, in the posteriors
of this day, which the rude multitude call the after-noone.
1825Peda. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable,
congruent, and measurable for the after noone: the worde is
well culd, chose, sweete, & apt I do assure you sir, I do assure.
Brag. Sir, the King is a noble Gentleman, and my fami-
1830lier, I do assure ye very good friende: for what is inwarde
betweene vs, let it passe. I do beseech thee remember thy
curtesie. I beseech thee apparrell thy head: and among other
importunt and most serious designes, and of great import in
deede too: but let that passe for I must tell thee it will
1835please his Grace (by the worlde) sometime to leane vpon
my poore shoulder, and with his royall finger thus dallie
with my excrement, with my mustachie: but sweete hart
let that passe. By the world I recount no fable, some certaine
special honours it pleaseth his greatnes to impart to Armado
1840a Souldier, a man of trauayle, that hath seene the worlde: but
let that passe; the very all of all is: but sweet hart, I do implore
secretie, that the King would haue me present the Princesse
(sweete chuck) with some delightfull ostentation, or show,
1845or pageant, or antique, or fierworke: Now vnderstanding
that the Curate and your sweete selfe, are good at such erup-
tions, and sodaine breaking out of myrth (as it were) I haue
acquainted you withall, to the ende to craue your assitance.
1850Peda. Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies,
Sir Holofernes, as concerning some entertainement of time,
some show in the posterior of this day, to be rended by our
assistants the Kinges commaund, and this most gallant il-
lustrate and learned Gentleman, before the Princesse: I say
1855none so fit as to present the nine Worthies.
Curat. Where will you finde men worthie enough to pre-
sent them?
Peda. Iosua, your selfe, my selfe, and this gallant Gentle-
1860man Iudas Machabeus; this Swaine (because of his great lim
or ioynt) shall passe Pompey the great, the Page Hercules.
Brag. Pardon sir, error: He is not quantitie enough for
that worthies thumbe, he is not so big as the end of his Club.
Peda. Shall I haue audience? He shall present Hercules
in minoritie: his enter and exit shalbe strangling a Snake;
and I will haue an Apologie for that purpose.
Page. An excellent deuice: so if any of the audience hisse,
1870you may cry, Well done Hercules, now thou crusshest the
Snake; that is the way to make an offence gracious, though
few haue the grace to do it.
Brag. For the rest of the Worthies?
Peda. I will play three my selfe.
1875Page. Thrice worthie Gentleman.
Brag. Shall I tell you a thing?
Peda. We attende.
Brag. We will haue, if this fadge not, an Antique. I be-
seech you follow.
1880Peda. Via good-man Dull, thou hast spoken no worde all
this while.
Dull. Nor vnderstoode none neither sir.
Ped. Alone, we will employ thee.
Dull. Ile make one in a daunce, or so: or I will play on
1885the Taber to the worthies, and let them dance the hey.
Peda. Most Dull, honest Dull, to our sport: away.
Exeunt.
Enter the Ladyes.
Quee. Sweete hartes we shalbe rich ere we depart,
Yf Fayrings come thus plentifully in.
1890A Ladie walde about with Diamondes: Looke you, what I
haue from the louing King.
Rosa. Madame, came nothing els along with that?
Quee. Nothing but this: yes as much loue in Rime,
As would be crambd vp in asheete of paper
1895Writ a both sides the leafe, margent and all,
That he was faine to seale on Cupids name.
Rosa. That was the way to make his god-head Wax:
For he hath been fiue thousand yeere a Boy.
Kath. I and a shrowde vnhappie gallowes too.
1900Ros. Youle neare be friendes with him, a kild your sister.
Kath. He made her melancholie, sad, and heauie,
And so she died: had she bin Light like you, of such a mery
nimble stiring spirit, she might a bin Grandam ere she died.
And so may you: For a light hart liues long.
1905Ros. Whats your darke meaning mouce, of this light word?
Kath. A light condition in a beautie darke.
Ros. We neede more light to finde your meaning out.
Kath. Yole marre the light by taking it in snuffe:
1910Therefore Ile darkly ende the argument.
Ros. Looke what you do, you do it still i'th darke.
Kath. So do not you, for you are a light Wench.
Ros. In deede I waigh not you, and therefore light.
Kath. You waigh me not, O thats you care not for me.
1915Ros. Great reason: for past care, is still past cure.
Quee. Well bandied both, a set of Wit well played.
But Rasaline, you haue a Fauour too?
Who sent it? and what is it?
Ros. I would you knew.
1920And if my face were but as faire as yours,
My Fauour were as great, be witnesse this.
Nay I haue Vearses too, I thanke Berowne,
The numbers true, and were the numbring too,
I were the fayrest Goddesse on the ground.
1925I am comparde to twentie thousand fairs.
O he hath drawen my picture in his letter.
Quee. Any thing like?
Ros. Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
Quee. Beautious as Incke: a good conclusion.
1930Kath. Faire as a text B in a Coppie booke.
Ros. Ware pensalls, How? Let me not die your debtor,
My red Dominicall, my golden letter,
O that your face were not so full of Oes.
Quee. A Poxe of that iest, and I beshrow all Shrowes.
1935But Katherine what was sent to you
From faire Dumaine?
Kath. Madame, this Gloue.
Quee. Did he not send you twaine?
Kath. Yes Madame: and moreouer,
1940Some thousand Verses of a faithfull Louer.
A hudge translation of hipocrisie,
Vildly compyled, profound simplicitie.
Marg. This, and these Pearle, to me sent Longauile.
The Letter is too long by halfe a mile.
1945Quee. I thinke no lesse: Dost thou not wish in hart
The Chaine were longer, and the Letter short.
Marg. I, or I would these handes might neuer part.
Quee. We are wise girles to mocke our Louers so.
Ros. They are worse fooles to purchase mocking so.
1950That same Berowne ile torture ere I go.
O that I knew he were but in by th'weeke,
How I would make him fawne, and begge, and seeke,
And wayte the season, and obserue the times,
And spend his prodigall wittes in booteles rimes.
1955And shape his seruice wholly to my deuice,
And make him proude to make me proude that iestes,
So perttaunt like would I ore'sway his state,
That he should be my foole, and I his fate.
Quee. None are so surely caught, when they are hatcht,
1960As Wit turnde Foole, follie in Wisedome hatcht:
Hath Wisedomes warrant, and the helpe of Schoole,
And Wits owne grace to grace a learned Foole.
Rosa. The blood of youth burnes not with such excesse,
As grauities reuolt to wantons be.
1965Mar. Follie in Fooles beares not so strong a note,
As foolrie in the Wise, when Wit doth dote:
Since all the power thereof it doth apply,
To proue by Wit, worth in simplicitie.
Enter Boyet.
1970Quee. Heere comes Boyet, and myrth is in his face.
Boyet. O I am stable with laughter, Wher's her Grace?
Quee. Thy newes Boyet?
Boy. Prepare Maddame, prepare.
Arme Wenches arme, incounters mounted are,
1975Against your Peace Loue doth approch, disguysd:
Armed in argumentes, you'll be surprisd.
Muster your Wits, stande in your owne defence,
Or hide your heades like Cowardes, and flie hence.
Quee. Saint Dennis to S. Cupid: What are they,
1980That charge their breath against vs? Say scout say.
Boy. Vnder the coole shade of a Siccamone,
I thought to close mine eyes some halfe an houre:
When lo to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might beholde addrest,
1985The King and his companions warely,
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
And ouer hard, what you shall ouer heare:
That by and by disguysd thy will be heere.
Their Heralde is a prettie knauish Page:
1990That well by hart hath cond his embassage
Action and accent did they teach him there.
Thus must thou speake, and thus thy body beare.
And euer and anon they made a doubt,
Presence maiesticall would put him out:
1995For quoth the King, an Angell shalt thou see:
Yet feare not thou but speake audaciously.
The Boy replyde, An Angell is not euill:
I should haue feard her had shee been a deuill.
With that all laught, and clapt him on the shoulder,
2000Making the bolde wagg by their prayses bolder.
One rubbd his elbow thus, and fleerd, and swore,
A better speach was neuer spoke before.
Another with his fynger and his thume,
Cried via we will doo't come what wil come.
2005The thirde he caperd and cryed, All goes well.
The fourth turnd on the tooe, and downe he fell:
With that they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zelous laughter so profund,
That in this spleene rediculous appeares,
2010To checke their follie pashions solembe teares.
Quee. But what, but what, come they to visite vs?
Boy. They do, they do; and are appariled thus,
Like Muscouites, or Russians, as I gesse.
Their purpose is to parlee, to court, and daunce,
2015And euery one his Loue-feat will aduance,
Vnto his seuerall Mistres: which they'le know
By Fauours seuerall, which they did bestow.
Quee. And will they so? the Gallants shalbe taskt:
For Ladies; we will euery one be maskt,
2020And not a man of them shall haue the grace
Despight of sute, to see a Ladies face.
Holde Rosaline, this Fauour thou shalt weare,
And then the King will court thee for his Deare:
Holde take thou this my sweete, and giue mee thine,
2025So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
And change you Fauours two, so shall your Loues
Woo contrarie, deceyued by these remoues.
Rosa. Come on then, weare the Fauours most in sight.
Kath. But in this changing, What is your intent?
2030Quee. The effect of my intent is to crosse theirs:
They do it but in mockerie merement,
And mocke for mocke is onely my intent,
Their seuerall counsailes they vnboosome shall,
To Loues mistooke, and so be mockt withall.
2035Vpon the next occasion that we meete,
With Visages displayde to talke and greete.
Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire vs toot?
Quee. No, to the death we will not moue a foot,
Nor to their pend speach render we no grace:
2040But while tis spoke each turne away his face.
Boy. Why that contempt will kill the speakers hart,
And quite diuorce his memorie from his part.
Quee. Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt,
The rest will ere come in, if he be out.
2045Theres no such sport, as sport by sport orethrowne:
To make theirs ours, and ours none but our owne.
So shall we stay mocking entended game,
And they wel mockt depart away with shame.
Sound Trom.
Boy. The Trompet soundes, be maskt, the maskers come.
Enter Black-moores with musicke, the Boy with a
speach, and the rest of the Lordes disguysed.
Page. All haile, the richest Beauties on the earth.
Berow. Beauties no richer then rich Taffata.
2055Page. A holy parcell of the fayrest dames that euer turnd their
backes to mortall viewes.
The Ladyes turne their backes to him.
Berow. Their eyes villaine, their eyes.
Pag. That euen turnde their eyes to mortall viewes.
2060Out
Boy. True, out in deede.
Pag. Out of your fauours heauenly spirites vouchsafe
Not to beholde.
Berow. Once to beholde, rogue.
2065Page. Once to beholde with your Sunne beamed eyes,
With your Sunne beamed eyes.
Boyet. They will not answere to that Epythat.
You were best call it Daughter beamed eyes.
Pag. They do not marke me, and that bringes me out.
2070Ber. Is this your perfectnes? begon you rogue.
Rosal. What would these stranges?
Know their mindes Boyet.
If they do speake our language, tis our will
That some plaine man recount their purposes.
2075Know what they would?
Boyet. What would you with the Princes?
Berow. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.
Rosa. What would they, say they?
Boy. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.
2080Rosa. Why that they haue, and bid them so be gon.
Boy. She saies you haue it, and you may be gon.
King. Say to her we haue measurd many miles,
To treade a Measure with her on this grasse.
Boy. They say that they haue measurd many a mile,
2085To tread a Measure with you on this grasse.
Rosa. It is not so. Aske them how manie inches
Is in one mile? If they haue measured manie,
The measure then of one is easlie tolde.
Boy. If to come hither, you haue measurde miles,
2090And manie miles: the Princesse bids you tell,
How manie inches doth fill vp one mile?
Berow. Tell her we measure them by weerie steps.
Boy. She heares her selfe.
Rosa. How manie weerie steps,
2095Of manie weerie miles you haue ore gone,
Are numbred in the trauaile of one Mile?
Bero. We number nothing that we spend for you,
Our duetie is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without accompt.
2100Vouchsafe to shew the sunshine of your face,
That we (like sauages) may worship it.
Rosa. My face is but a Moone, and clouded too.
King. Blessed are cloudes, to do as such cloudes do.
Vouchsafe bright Moone, and these thy Starrs to shine,
2105(Those cloudes remooued) vpon our waterie eyne.
Rosa. O vaine peticioner, begg a greater matter,
Thou now requests but Mooneshine in the water.
King. Then in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change,
Thou bidst me begge, this begging is not strange.
2110Rosa. Play Musique then: nay you must do it soone.
Not yet no daunce: thus change I like the Moone.
Kin. Wil you not daunce? How come you thus estranged?
Ro. You tooke the moone at ful, but now shee's changed?
King. Yet still she is the Moone, and I the Man.
Rosa. The musique playes, vouchsafe some motion to it,
Our eares vouchsafe it.
King. But your legges should do it.
2120Rosa. Since you are strangers, and come here by chance,
Weele not be nice, take handes, we will not daunce.
King. Why take we handes then?
Rosa, Onely to part friendes.
Curtsie sweete hartes, and so the Measure endes.
2125King. More measure of this measue be not nice.
Rosa. We can affoord no more at such a price.
King. Prise you your selues: What buyes your company?
Rosa. Your absence onely.
King. That can neuer be.
2130Rosa. Then cennot we be bought: and so adue,
Twice to your Visore, and halfe once to you.
King. If you denie to daunce, lets holde more chat.
Rosa. In priuat then.
King. I am best pleasd with that.
2135Berow. White handed Mistres, one sweet word with thee.
Quee. Honie, and Milke, and Suger: there is three.
Ber. Nay then two treyes, an if you grow so nice,
Methegline, Wort, and Malmsey; well runne dice:
There's halfe a dosen sweetes.
2140Quee. Seuenth sweete adue, since you can cogg,
Ile play no more with you.
Ber. One word in secret.
Quee. Let it not be sweete.
Bero. Thou greeuest my gall.
2145Quee. Gall, bitter,
Bero. Therefore meete.
Duman. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
Maria. Name it.
Duma. Faire Ladie.
2150Mar. Say you so? Faire Lord, take that for your faire Lady
Duma. Please it you, as much in priuat, & ile bid adieu.
Maria. What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
2155Long. I know the reason (Lady) why you aske.
Mari. O for your reason, quickly sir, I long?
Long. You haue a double tongue within your Maske,
And would afforde my speachles vizard halfe.
Mar. Veale quoth the Dutch-man: is not veale a Calfe?
Long. A Calfe faire Ladie.
Mar. No, a faire Lorde Calfe.
Long. Let's part the word?
Mar. No, Ile not be your halfe:
2165Take all and weane it, it may proue an Oxe.
Lon. Loke how you butt your selfe in these sharpe mocks,
Will you giue hornes chast Lady? do not so.
Mar. Then die a Calfe, before your hornes do grow.
2170Long. One word in priuate with you ere I die.
Mar. Bleat softly then, the Butcher heares you crie.
Boyet. The tongues of mocking Wenches are as keene
As is the Rasors edge inuisible:
Cutting a smaller haire then may be seene,
2175Aboue the sence of sence so sensible,
Seemeth their conference, their conceites haue winges,
Fleeter then Arrowes, bullets wind thought swifter thinges.
Rosa. Not one word more my Maides, break off, break off.
2180Bero. By heauen, all drie beaten with pure scoffe.
King. Farewel mad Wenches, you haue simple wits.
Exe.
Quee. Twentie adieus my frozen Muskouits.
Are these the breede of Wits so wondered at?
2185Boye. Tapers they are with your sweete breaths puft out.
Rosa. Wel-liking Wits they haue grosse grosse, fat fat.
Quee. O pouertie in wit, Kingly poore flout.
Will they not (thinke you) hange them selues to nyght?
2190Or euer but in vizards shew their faces.
This pert Berowne was out of countnance quite.
Rosa. They were all in lamentable cases,
The King was weeping ripe for a good word.
Quee. Berowne did sweare him selfe out of all suite.
2195Mar. Dumaine was at my seruice, and his sword,
No poynt (quoth I) my seruant, straight was mute.
Kath. Lord Longauill said I came ore his hart:
And trow you what he calde me?
Quee. Qualme perhapt.
2200Kath. Yes in good faith.
Quee. Goe sicknes as thou art.
Ros. Well, better wits haue worne plaine statute Caps.
But will you heare; the King is my Loue sworne.
Quee. And quicke Berowne hath plighted Fayth to me.
2205Kath. And Longauill was for my seruice borne.
Mar. Dumaine is mine as sure as barke on tree.
Boyet. Madame, and prettie mistresses giue eare.
Immediatly they will againe be heere,
In their owne shapes: for it can neuer be,
2210They will digest this harsh indignitie.
Quee. Will they returne?
Boy. They will they will, God knowes,
And leape for ioy, though they are lame with blowes:
Therefore change Fauours, and when they repaire,
2215Blow like sweete Roses, in this sommer aire.
Quee. How blow? how blow? Speake to be vnderstood.
Boy. Faire Ladies maskt, are Roses in their bud:
Dismaskt, their dammaske sweete commixture showne,
2220Are Angels varling cloudes, or Roses blowne.
Quee. Auaunt perplexitie, What shall we do,
If they returne in their owne shapes to woe?
Rosa. Good Madame, if by me youle be aduisde,
Lets mocke them still as well knowne as disguysde:
2225Let vs complaine to them what fooles were heare,
Disguysd like Muscouities in shapeles geare:
And wonder what they were, and to what ende
Their shallow showes, and Prologue vildly pende.
And their rough carriage so rediculous,
2230Should be presented at our Tent to vs.
Boyet. Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand,
Quee. Whip to our Tents as Roes runs ore land.
Exeunt.
Enter the King and the rest.
2235King. Faire sir, God saue you: Wher's the Princesse?
Boyet. Gone to her Tent. Please it your Maiestie com-
maunde me any seruice to her thither,
King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
Boy. I will, and so will she, I know my Lord.
Exit.
2240Berow. This fellow peckes vp Wit as Pidgions Pease,
And vtters it againe when God dooth please.
He is Witts Pedler, and retales his wares:
At Wakes and Wassels, meetings, markets, Faires.
And we that sell by grosse, the Lord doth know,
2245Haue not the grace to grace it with such show.
This Gallant pins the Wenches on his sleeue.
Had he bin Adam he had tempted Eue.
A can carue to, and lispe: Why this is hee
That kist his hand, a way in courtisie.
2250This is the Ape of Forme, Mounsier the nice,
That when he playes at Tables chides the Dice
In honorable tearmes; nay he can sing
A meane most meanely, and in hushering.
Mende him who can, the Ladies call him sweete.
2255The staires as he treades on them kisse his feete.
This is the floure that smyles on euery one.
To shew his teeth as white as Whales bone.
And consciences that will not die in debt,
Pay him the due of honie-tonged Boyet.
2260King. A blister on his sweete tongue with my hart,
That put Armathoes Page out of his part.
Enter the Ladies.
Bero. See where it comes. Behauiour what wert thou?
Till this mad man shewed thee, and what art thou now?
2265King. All haile sweete Madame, and faire time of day.
Quee. Faire in all Haile is foule, as I conceaue.
King. Consture my spaches better, if you may.
Quee. Then wish me better, I will giue you leaue.
King. We came to visite you, and purpose now,
2270To leade you to our Court, vouchsafe it then.
Quee. This Feelde shall holde me, and so hold your vow:
Nor God nor I delights in periurd men.
King. Rebuke me not for that which you prouoke:
The vertue of your eie must breake my oth.
2275Que. You nickname vertue, vice you should haue spoke:
For vertues office neuer breakes mens troth.
Now by my maiden honour yet as pure,
As the vnsallied Lilly I protest,
A worlde of tormentes though I should endure,
2280I would not yeelde to be your houses guest:
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heauenly Othes vowed with integritie.
King. O you haue liu'd in desolation heere,
Vnseene, vnuisited, much to our shame.
2285Quee. Not so my Lord, it is not so I sweare,
We haue had pastimes here and pleasant game,
A messe of Russians left vs but of late.
King. How Madame? Russians?
Quee. I in trueth My Lord.
2290Trim gallants, full of Courtship and of state.
Rosa. Madame speake true: It is not so my Lord:
My Ladie (to the maner of the dayes)
In curtesie giues vndeseruing praise.
We foure in deede confronted were with foure,
2295In Russian habite: heere they stayed an houre,
And talkt apace: and in that houre (my Lord)
They did not blesse vs with one happie word.
I dare not call them fooles; but this I thinke,
When they are thirstie, fooles would faine haue drinke.
2300Bero. This iest is drie to me, gentle sweete,
Your wits makes wise thinges foolish when we greete
With eies best seeing, heauens fierie eie:
By light we loose light, your capacitie
Is of that nature, that to your hudge stoore,
2305Wise thinges seeme foolish, and rich thinges but poore.
Rosa. This proues you wise and rich: for in my eie.
Bero. I am a foole, and full of pouertie.
Rosa. But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch wordes from my tongue.
2310Ber. O, I am yours and all that I possesse.
Rosa. All the foole mine.
Ber. I cannot giue you lesse.
Ros. Which of the Vizards was it that you wore?
Ber. Where, when, what Vizard? why demaund you this?
Rosa. There, then, that Vizard, that superfluous case,
That hid the worse, and shewed the better face.
King. We were descried, theyle mock vs now dounright.
2320Duman. Let vs confesse and turne it to a iest.
Quee. Amazde my Lord? Why lookes your highnes sad?
Rosa. Helpe holde his browes, heele sound: why looke
you pale?
2325Sea sicke I thinke comming from Muscouie.
Bero. Thus pooure the Starres downe plagues for periurie.
Can anie face of brasse hold longer out?
Heere stand I, Ladie dart thy skill at me,
Bruse me with scorne, confound me with a flout.
2330Thrust thy sharpe wit quite through my ignorance,
Cut me to peeces with thy keene conceit.
And I will wish thee neuer more to daunce,
Nor neuer more in Russian habite waite.
O neuer will I trust to speaches pend,
2335Nor to the motion of a Schoole-boyes tongue:
Nor neuer come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rime like a blind harpers songue.
Taffata phrases, silken tearmes precise,
Three pilde Hiberboles, spruce affection:
2340Figures pedanticall, these sommer flies,
Haue blowne me full of maggot ostentation.
I do forsweare them, and I here protest,
By this white Gloue (how white the hand God knowes)
Hencefoorth my wooing minde shalbe exprest
2345In russet yeas, and honest kersie noes.
And to begin Wench, so God helpe me law,
My loue to thee is sound, sance cracke or flaw.
Rosa. Sans, sans, I pray you.
Bero. Yet I haue a tricke,
2350Of the olde rage: beare with me, I am sicke.
Ile leaue it by degrees; soft, let vs see,
Write Lord haue mercie on vs, on those three,
They are infected, in their hartes it lyes:
They haue the Plague, and caught it of your eyes,
2355These Lordes are visited, you are not free,
For the Lords tokens on you do I see.
Quee. No, they are free that gaue these tokens to vs.
Berow. Our states are forfait, seeke not to vndoo vs.
Rosa. It is not so, for how can this be true,
2360That you stand forfait, being those that sue.
Bero. Peace, for I will not haue to doe with you.
Rosa. Nor shall not, if I do as I intende.
Bero. Speake for your selues, my wit is at an ende.
King. Teach vs sweet Madame, for our rude transgression
2365Some faire excuse.
Quee. The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but euen now, disguysde?
King. Madame, I was.
Quee. And were you well aduisde?
2370King. I was faire Madame.
Quee. When you then were heere,
What did you whisper in your Ladies eare?
King. That more then all the world, I did respect her.
Quee. When she shall challenge this, you wil reiect her.
King. Vpon mine honour no.
Quee. Peace peace, forbeare: your Oth once broke, you
force not to forsweare.
King. Despise me when I breake this oth of mine.
2380Quee. I will, and therefore keepe it. Rosaline,
What did the Russian whisper in your eare?
Rosa. Madame, he swore that he did hold me deare,
As precious ey-sight, and did value me
Aboue this Worlde: adding thereto more ouer,
2385That he would wed me, or els die my Louer.
Quee. God giue thee ioy of him: the Noble Lord
Most honourablie doth vphold his word,
King. What meane you Madame: by my life my troth,
2390I neuer swore this Lady such an oth.
Rosal. By heauen you did; and to confirme it plaine,
You gaue me this: but take it sir againe.
King. My faith and this, the Princesse I did giue,
I knew her by this Iewell on her sleeue.
2395Quee. Pardon me sir, this Iewell did she weare,
And Lord Berowne (I thanke him) is my deare.
What? will you haue me, or your Pearle againe?
Berow. Neither of either: I remit both twaine.
I see the tricke ant: here was a consent,
2400Knowing aforehand of our meriment,
To dash it lik a Christmas Comedie:
Some carry tale, some please-man, some sleight saine:
Some mumble newes, some trencher Knight, some Dick
That smyles, his cheeke in yeeres, and knowes the trick
2405To make my Lady laugh, when shees disposd:
Tolde our intentes before: which once disclosd,
The Ladies did change Fauours; and then wee
Folowing the signes, wood but the signe of shee,
Now to our periurie, to add more terror,
2410We are againe forsworne in will and error.
Much vpon this tis: and might not you
Forestall our sport, to make vs thus vntrue?
Do not you know my Ladies foote by'th squier?
And laugh vpon the apple of her eie?
2415And stand betweene her backe sir and the fier,
Holding a trencher, iesting merrilie?
You put our Page out: goe, you are aloude.
Die when you will, a Smocke shalbe your shroude.
You leere vpon me, do you: ther's an eie
2420Woundes like a leaden sword.
Boyet. Full merely hath this braue nuage, this carreere
bin run.
Bero. Loe, he is tilting straight. Peace, I haue don.
Enter Clowne.
2425Ber. Welcome pure wit, thou partst a faire fray.
Clow. O Lord sir, they would know,
Whether the three Worthis shall come in or no?
Ber. What, are there but three?
Clow. No sir, but it is vara fine,
2430For euerie one pursents three.
Bero. And three times thrice is nine.
Clow. Not so sir, vnder correction sir, I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg vs sir, I can assure you sir, we know what
we know: I hope sir three times thrice sir.
2435Bero. Is not nine.
Clow. Vnder correction sir we know where-vntill it doth
amount.
Bero. By Ioue, I all wayes tooke three threes for nine.
Clow. O Lord sir, it were pittie you should get your liuing
2440by reckning sir.
Bero. How much is it?
Clow. O Lord sir, the parties themselues, the actors sir
will shew wher-vntill it doth amount: for mine owne part, I
am (as thy say, but to parfect one man in one poore man)
2445Pompion the great sir.
Bero. Art thou one of the Worthies?
Clow. It pleased them to thinke me worthie of Pompey
the great: for mine owne part I know not the degree of the
Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
2450Bero. Goe bid them prepare.
Clow. We wil turne it finely off sir, we wil take some care.
King. Berowne, they will shame vs: let them not approch.
2455Bero. We are shame proofe my Lord: & tis some policie
To haue one show worse then the Kings and his company.
King. I say they shall not come.
Quee. Nay my good Lord let me ore'rule you now.
2460That sport best pleases, that doth best know how:
Where zeale striues to content, and the contentes
Dies in the zeale of that which it presentes:
Their forme confounded, makes most forme in myrth,
When great thinges labouring perish in their byrth.
2465Bero. A right description of our sport my Lord.
Enter Bragart.
Brag. Annoynted, I implore so much expence of thy royal
sweete breath, as will vtter a brace of wordes.
Quee. Doth this man serue God?
2470Bero. Why aske you?
Quee. A speakes not like a man of God his making.
Brag. That is al one my faire sweete honie monarch,
For I protest, the Schoolemaister is exceeding fantasticall,
Too too vaine, too too vaine: but we will put it (as they say)
2475to Fortuna delaguar, I wish you the peace of mind most royall
cupplement.
Exit.
King. Heere is like to be a good presence of Worthies:
He presents Hector of Troy, the Swaine Pompey the great, the
parish Curate Alexander, Armadoes Page Hercules, the Pe-
2480dant Iudas Machabeus: And if these foure Worthies in their
first shew thriue, these foure will change habites, and present
the other fiue.
Bero. There is fiue in the first shew.
King. You are deceiued, tis not so.
2485Bero. The Pedant, the Bragart, the Hedge-Priest, the
Foole, and the Boy,
Abate throw at Nouum, and the whole world againe,
Cannot picke out fiue such, take each one in his vaine.
Kin. The Ship is vnder sayle, and heere she coms amaine.
2490
Enter Pompey.
Clowne. I Pompey am.
Bero. You lie, you are not he.
Clow. I Pompey am,
Boyet. With Libbards head on knee.
2495Ber. Well said old mocker, I must needes be friendes with
Clow. I Pompey am, Pompey surnamde the bigge.
Duma. The great.
Clow. It is great sir, Pompey surnamd the great.
2500That oft in fielde with Targ and Shield did make my foe to sweat,
And trauailing along this coast I heere am come by chaunce,
And lay my Armes before the Leggs of this sweete Lasse of France.
2505If your Ladishyp would say thankes Pompey, I had done.
Lady. Great thankes great Pompey.
Clo. Tis not so much worth: but I hope I was perfect. I
made a litle fault in great.
Bero. My hat to a halfe-pennie, Pompey prooues the best
2510Worthie.
Enter Curate for Alexander.
Curat. When in the world I liud, I was the worldes commander:
By East, West, North, and South, I spred my conquering might:
2515My Scutchion plaine declares that I am Alisander.
Boyet. Your Nose saies no, you are not: for it stands too
Be. Your nose smels no in his most tender smelling knight.
2520Qu. The conqueror is dismaid: proceed good Alexander.
Cura. When in the worlde I liued, I was the worldes commander.
Boy. Most true, tis right: you were so Alisander.
2525Bero. Pompey the great.
Clow. Your seruant and Costard.
Bero. Take away the Conqueronr, take away Alisander.
Clow. O sir, you haue ouerthrowne Alisander the Conque-
rour: you will be scrapt out of the painted cloth for this.
2530Your Lion that holdes his Polax sitting on a close stoole,
will be geuen to Aiax. He wilbe the ninth Worthie: a Con-
querour, and a feard to speake? Run away for shame Ali-
sander. There ant shall please you a foolish mylde man, an
honest man; looke you, and soone dasht. He is a marueylous
2535good neighbour fayth, and a very good Bowler: but for
Alisander, alas you see how tis a little oreparted, but there
are Worthies a comming will speake their minde in some
other sort.
Exit Curat.
Quee. Stand aside good Pompey.
2540
Enter Pedant for Iudas, and the Boy for Hercules.
Peda. Great Hercules is presented by this Impe,
Whose Clubb kilde Cerberus that three headed Canus,
And when he was a babe, a childe, a shrimpe,
Thus did he strangle Serpents in his Manus,
2545Quoniam, he seemeth in minoritie,
Ergo, I come with this Appologie.
Keepe some state in thy exit, and vanish.
Exit Boy.
Peda. Iudas I am.
Dum. A Iudas.
2550Pedan. Not Iscariot sir.
Iudas I am, ecliped Machabeus.
Dum. Iudas Machabeus clipt, is plaine Iudas.
Bero. A kissing traytour, How art thou proud Iudas?
Peda. Iudas I am.
2555Duma. The more shame for you Iudas.
Peda. What meane you sir?
Boyet. To make Iudas hang him selfe.
Pedan. Begin sir, you are my elder.
Bero. Well folowed, Iudas was hanged on an Flder.
2560Pedan. I will not be put out of countenance.
Bero. Because thou hast no face.
Pedan. What is this?
Boyet. A Cytterne head.
Duma. The head of a Bodkin.
2565Bero. A deaths face in a Ring.
Long. The face of an olde Roman coyne, scarce seene.
Boyet. The pummel of Cæsars Fauchion.
Duma. The carud-bone face on a Flaske.
Bero. Saint Georges halfe cheeke in a Brooch.
2570Duma. I and in a Brooch of Lead.
Bero. I and worne in the cappe of a Tooth-drawer:
And now forward, for we haue put thee in countenance.
Peda. You haue put me out of countenance.
Bero. False, we haue giuen thee faces.
2575Peda. But you haue outfaste them all.
Bero. And thou weart a Lyon, we would do so.
Boyet. Therefore as he is, an Asse, let him go:
And so adue sweete Iude. Nay, Why dost thou stay?
Duma. For the latter ende of his name.
2580Bero. For the Asse to the Iude: giue it him. Judas away.
Peden. This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
Boyet. A light for Mounsier Judas, it growes darke, he
may stumble.
2585Quee. Alas poore Machabeus, how hath he bin bayted.
Eeter Braggart.
Ber. Hide thy head Achilles, here comes Hector in Armes.
2590Duma. Though my mockes come home by me, I will
now be merrie.
King. Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
Boyet. But is this Hector?
King. I thinke Hector was not so cleane timberd.
2595Long. His Legge is too bigge for Hectors.
Duman. More Calfe certaine.
Boye. No, he is best indued in the small.
Bero. This cannot be Hector.
Duma. Hee's a God or a Painter: for he makes faces.
2600Braggart. The Armipotent Mars , of Launces the almightie,
gaue Hector a gift.
Duma. A gift Nutmegg.
Bero. A Lemmon.
Long. Stucke with Cloues.
2605Dum. No clouen.
Brag. Peace. The Armipotent Mars, of Launces the almighty,
Gaue Hector a gift, the heir of Illion,
A man so breathed, that certaine he would fight; yea,
From morne till night out of his Pauilion.
2610I am that Flower.
Dum. That Mint.
Long. That Cullambine.
Brag. Sweete Lord Longauill raine thy tongue.
Long. I must rather giue it the raine: for it runnes against
2615Hector.
Dum. I and Hector's a Greyhound.
Brag. The sweete War-man is dead and rotten,
Sweete chucks beat not the bones of the buried:
2618.1When he breathed he was a man:
But I will forward with my deuice; sweete royaltie bestow
2620on me the sence of hearing.
Berowne steps foorth.
Quee. Speake braue Hector, we are much delighted.
Brag. I do adore thy sweete Graces Slipper.
Boyet. Loues her by the foote.
2625Dum. He may not by the yarde.
Brag. This Hector far surmounted Hanniball.
The partie is gone.
Clow. Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on
her way.
2630Brag. What meanest thou?
Clow. Faith vnlesse you play the honest Troyan, the poore
wench is cast away: shee's quicke, the childe bragges in her
bellie already: tis yours.
Brag. Dost thou infamonize me among potentates:
2635Thou shalt die.
Clow. Then shall Hector be whipt for Iaquenetta that is
quicke by him, and hangd for Pompey that is dead by him.
Duma. Most rare Pompey.
2640Boyet. Renowned Pompey.
Bero. Greater then great, great, great, great Pompey: Pom-
pey the hudge.
Dum. Hector trembles.
Bero. Pompey is mooued more Ates more Atees stir them
2645or stir them on.
Duma. Hector will challenge him.
Bero. I, if a'haue no more mans blood in his belly then wil
suppe a Flea.
Brag. By the North Pole I do challenge thee.
2650Clow. I will not fight with a Pole like a Northren man;
Ile slash, Ile do it by the Sword: I bepray you let me bor-
row my Armes againe.
Duma. Roome for the incensed Worthies.
Clow. Ile do it in my shyrt.
2655Duma. Most resolute Pompey.
Page. Maister, let me take you a button hole lower. Do
you not see, Pompey is vncasing for the Combat: What
meane you? you will loose your reputation.
Brag. Gentlemen and Souldiers, pardon me, I will not
2660combat in my shyrt.
Duma. You may not deny it, Pompey hath made the chal-
Brag. Sweete bloodes, I both may and will.
Bero. What reason haue you fort.
2665Brag. The naked trueth of it is, I hane no Shirt.
I goe Woolward for pennance.
Boy. True, and it was inioyned him in Rome for want of
Linnen: since when, Ile be sworne he wore none, but a dish-
cloute of Jaquenettaes, and that a weares next his hart for a
2670Fauour.
Enter a Messenger Mounsier Marcade.
Marcad. God saue you Madame.
Quee. Welcome Marcade, but that thou interrnpptest our
merriment.
2675Marcad. I am sorrie Madame for the newes I bring
is heauie in my tongue. The King your father
Quee. Dead for my life.
Marcad. Euen so: my tale is tolde.
B er. Worthies away, the Scæne begins to cloude.
2680Brag. For mine owne part I breath free breath: I haue
seene the day of wrong through the litle hole of discretion,
and I will right my selfe like a Souldier.
Exeunt Worthys
King. How fares your Maiestie?
2685Quee. Boyet prepare, I will away to nyght.
King. Madame Not so, I do beseech you stay.
Quee. Prepare I say: I thanke you gracious Lords
For all your faire endeuours and intreat:
Out of a new sad-soule, that you vouchsafe,
2690In your rich wisedome to excuse, or hide,
The liberall opposition of our spirites,
If ouerboldly we haue borne our selues,
In the conuerse of breath (your gentlenes
Was guyltie of it.) Farewell worthy Lord:
2695A heauie hart beares not a humble tongue.
Excuse me so comming too short of thankes,
For my great sute, so easely obtainde.
King. The extreame partes of time extreamly formes,
All causes to the purpose of his speede:
2700And often at his very loose decides
That, which long processe could not arbitrate.
And though the mourning brow of progenie
Forbid the smyling courtecie of Loue,
The holy suite which faine it would conuince,
2705Yet since Loues argument was first on foote,
Let not the cloude of Sorrow iustle it
From what it purposd, since to wayle friendes lost,
Is not by much so holdsome profitable,
As to reioyce at friendes but newly found.
2710Quee. I vnderstand you not, my griefes are double.
Bero. Honest plaine words, best pearce the eare of griefe,
And by these badges vnderstand the King,
For your faire sakes, haue we neglected time.
Plaide fouleplay with our othes: your beautie Ladies
2715Hath much deformed vs, fashioning our humours
Euen to the opposed ende of our ententes.
And what in vs hath seemed rediculous:
As Loue is full of vnbefitting straines,
All wanton as a childe, skipping and vaine.
2720Formd by the eye, and therefore like the eye.
Full of straying shapes, of habites and of formes:
Varying in subiectes as the eye doth roule,
To euery varied obiect in his glaunce:
Which partie coted presence of loose loue
2725Put on by vs, if in your heauenly eyes,
Haue misbecombd our othes and grauities.
Those heauenly eyes that looke into these faultes,
Suggested vs to make, therefore Ladies
Our loue being yours, the errour that Loue makes
2730Is likewise yours: we to our selues proue false,
By being once falce, for euer to be true
To those that make vs both faire Ladies you.
And euen that falshood in it selfe a sinne,
Thus purifies it selfe and turns to grace.
2735Quee. We haue receiud your Letters, full of Loue:
Your Fauours, embassadours of Loue.
And in our mayden counsaile rated them,
At courtshyp pleasant iest and courtecie,
As bombast and as lyning to the time:
2740But more deuout then this our respectes,
Haue we not been, and therefore met your Loues,
In their owne fashyon like a merriment.
Dum. Our letters madame, shewed much more then iest.
Long. So did our lookes.
2745Rosa. We did not cote them so.
King. Now at the latest minute of the houre,
Graunt vs your loues.
Quee. A time me thinkes too short,
To make a world-without-end bargaine in:
2750No no my Lord, your Grace is periurde much,
Full of deare guiltines, and therefore this,
If for my Loue (as there is no such cause)
You will do ought, this shall you do for me:
Your oth I will not trust, but goe with speede
2755To some forlorne and naked Hermytage,
Remote from all the pleasurs of the world:
There stay vntill the twelue Celestiall Signes
Haue brought about the annuall reckoning.
If this Austere insociable life,
2760Change not your offer made in heate of blood.
If frostes and fastes, hard lodging, and thin weedes,
Nip not the gaudie blossomes of your Loue:
But that it beare this tryall, and last Loue,
Then at the expiration of the yeere,
2765Come challenge me, challenge me by these desertes:
And by this Virgin palme now kissing thine,
I wilbe thine: and till that instance shutt
My wofull selfe vp in a mourning house,
Rayning the teares of lamentation,
2770For the remembraunce of my Fathers death.
If this thou do deny, let our handes part,
Neither intiled in the others hart.
King. If this, or more then this, I would denie,
To flatter vp these powers of mine with rest,
2775The sodaine hand of death close vp mine eye.
Hence herrite then my hart, is in thy brest.
Berow. And what to me my Loue? and what to me?
Rosal. You must be purged to, your sinnes are rackt.
You are attaint with faultes and periurie:
2780Therefore if you my fauour meane to get,
A tweluemonth shall you spende and neuer rest,
But seeke the weery beddes of people sicke.
Duma. But what to me my Loue? but what to me?
Kath. A wife? a beard, faire health, and honestie,
2785With three folde loue I wish you all these three.
Duma. O shall I say, I thanke you gentle Wife?
Kath. Not so my Lord, a tweluemonth and a day,
Ile marke no wordes that smothfast wooers say,
Come when the King doth to my Lady come:
2790Then if I haue much loue, Ile giue you some.
Duma. Ile serue thee true and faythfully till then.
Kath. Yet sweare not, least ye be forsworne agen.
Longauill. What saies Maria?
Mari. At the tweluemonths ende,
2795Ile change my blacke Gowne for a faithfull frend.
Long. Ile stay with patience, but the time is long.
Mari. The liker you, few taller are so young.
Berow. Studdies my Ladie? Mistres looke on me,
Beholde the window of my hart, mine eye:
2800What humble suite attendes thy answere there,
Impose some seruice on me for thy Loue.
Rosa. Oft haue I heard of you my Lord Berowne,
Before I saw you: and the worldes large tongue
Proclaymes you for a man repleat with mockes,
2805Full of comparisons and wounding floutes:
Which you on all estetes will execute,
That lie within the mercie of your wit
To weede this wormewood from your fructfull braine,
And therewithall to winne me, yf you please,
2810Without the which I am not to be won:
You shall this tweluemonth terme from day to day,
Visite the speachlesse sicke, and still conuerse,
With groning wretches: and your taske shall be,
With all the fierce endeuour of your wit,
2815To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
Berow. To moue wilde laughter in the throate of death?
It cannot be, it is impossible.
Mirth cannot moue a soule in agonie.
Rosal. Why thats the way to choake a gibing spirrit,
2820Whose influence is begot of that loose grace,
Which shallow laughing hearers giue to fooles,
A iestes prosperitie lies in the eare,
Of him that heares it, neuer in the tongue
Of him that makes it: then if sickly eares
2825Deaft with the clamours of their owne deare grones,
Will heare your idle scornes; continue then,
And I will haue you, and that fault withall.
But if they will not, throw away that spirrit,
And I shall finde you emptie of that fault,
2830Right ioyfull of your reformation.
Berow. A tweluemonth? well; befall what will befall,
Ile iest a tweluemonth in an Hospitall.
Queen. I sweete my Lord, and so I take my leaue.
King. No Madame, we will bring you on your way.
2835Berow. Our wooing doth not ende like an olde Play:
Iacke hath not Gill: these Ladies courtesie
Might well haue made our sport a Comedie.
King. Come sir, it wants a tweluemonth an'aday,
And then twill ende.
2840Berow. That's too long for a Play.
Enter Braggart.
Brag. Sweete Maiestie vouchsafe me.
Queen. Was not that Hector?
Duma. The worthie Knight of Troy.
2845Brag. I will kisse thy royall finger, and take leaue.
I am a Votarie; I haue vowde to Iaquenetta
To holde the Plough for her sweete loue three yeere.
But most esteemed greatnes, will you heare the Dialogue
that the two Learned men haue compiled, in prayse of the
Owle and the Cuckow? it should haue followed in the
2850ende of our shew.
King. Call them foorth quickly, we will do so.
Brag. Holla. Approch.
Enter all.
2855Brag. This side is Hiems, Winter.
This Ver, the Spring: The one maynteined by the Owle,
th'other by the Cuckow.
B. Ver begin.
The Song.
2860When Dasies pied, and Violets blew,
And Cuckow-budds of yellow hew:
And Ladi-smockes all siluer white,
Do paint the Meadowes with delight:
The Cuckow then on euerie tree,
2865Mocks married men; for thus singes hee,
Cuckow.
Cuckow, Cuckow: O word of feare,
Vnpleasing to a married eare.
When Shepheards pipe on Oten Strawes,
2870And merrie Larkes are Ploughmens Clocks:
When Turtles tread and Rookes and Dawes,
And Maidens bleach their summer smockes:
The Cuckow then on euerie tree,
Mockes married men, for thus singes he,
2875Cuckow.
Cuckow, cuckow: O word of feare,
Vnpleasing to a married eare.
Winter.
When Isacles hang by the wall,
2880And Dicke the Sheepheard blowes his naile:
And Thom beares Logges into the hall,
And Milke coms frozen home in paile:
When Blood is nipt, and wayes be full,
Then nightly singes the staring Owle
2885Tu-whit to-who.
A merrie note,
While greasie Ione doth keele the pot.
When all aloude the winde doth blow,
And coffing drownes the Parsons saw;
2890And Birdes sit brooding in the Snow,
And Marrians nose lookes red and raw:
When roasted Crabbs hisse in the bowle,
Then nightly singes the staring Owle,
Tu-whit to-who.
2895A merrie note,
While greasie Ione doth keele the pot.
The vvordes of Mercurie, are harsh after the
songes of Apollo.
FINIS.