Hamlet (Quarto 2, 1604)
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¶
Enter two Clownes.
¶defence.
¶poynt, if I drowne my selfe wittingly, it argues an act, & an act hath
3200three branches, it is to act, to doe, to performe, or all; she drownd her
¶selfe wittingly.
¶Other. Nay, but heare you good man deluer.
3205man, good, if the man goe to this water & drowne himselfe, it is will
¶he, nill he, he goes, marke you that, but if the water come to him, &
¶drowne him, he drownes not himselfe, argall, he that is not guilty of
¶his owne death, shortens not his owne life.
3210Other. But is this law?
¶Other. Will you ha the truth an't, if this had not beene a gentlewo-
¶ent gentlemen but Gardners, Ditchers, and Grauemakers, they hold
¶Other. Was he a gentleman?
¶Other. Goe to.
¶Shypwright, or the Carpenter.
¶Clowne. I like thy wit well in good fayth, the gallowes dooes well,
3235but howe dooes it well? It dooes well to those that do ill, nowe thou
¶the gallowes may doo well to thee. Too't againe, come.
3240Carpenter.
¶Clowne. I, tell me that and vnyoke.
¶Other. Marry now I can tell.
¶Clowne. Too't.
¶Goe get thee in, and fetch mee a soope of liquer.
¶
In youth when I did loue did loue,Song.
¶To contract ô the time for a my behoue,3255_O me thought there a was nothing a meet.
¶
Enter Hamlet and Horatio.
Ham. Has this fellowe no feeling of his busines? a sings in graue-
¶making.
¶Clow.
But age with his stealing steppesSong.¶_hath clawed me in his clutch,3265And hath shipped me into the land,
¶knaue iowles it to the ground, as if twere Caines iawbone, that did the
3270ore-reaches; one that would circumuent God, might it not?
¶Hora. It might my Lord.
¶Hor. I my Lord.
¶but to play at loggits with them: mine ake to thinke on't.
¶Clow.
A pickax and a spade a spade,Song.
¶_O a pit of Clay for to be made
3290where be his quiddities now, his quillites, his cases, his tenurs, and his
¶tricks? why dooes he suffer this madde knaue now to knocke him a-
¶on of battery, hum, this fellowe might be in's time a great buyer of
3295Land, with his Statuts, his recognisances, his fines, his double vou-
¶chers, his recoueries, to haue his fine pate full of fine durt, will vou-
¶chers vouch him no more of his purchases & doubles then the length
3300and breadth of a payre of Indentures? The very conueyances of his
¶no more, ha.
¶Hora. Not a iot more my Lord.
3315doe not lie in't, yet it is mine.
¶not for the quicke, therefore thou lyest.
¶Ham. What woman then?
¶Clow. For none neither.
3325Ham. Who is to be buried in't?
¶equiuocation will vndoo vs. By the Lord Horatio, this three yeeres I
3330haue tooke note of it, the age is growne so picked, that the toe of the
¶long hast thou been Graue-maker?
¶Clow. Cannot you tell that? euery foole can tell that, it was that
¶very day that young Hamlet was borne: hee that is mad and sent into
¶England.
¶a doo not, tis no great matter there.
¶Ham. Why?
¶Ham. How came he mad?
3350Ham. Vpon what ground?
¶Clow. Why heere in Denmarke: I haue been Sexten heere man
¶and boy thirty yeeres.
¶Ham. How long will a man lie i'th earth ere he rot?
¶Clow. Fayth if a be not rotten before a die, as we haue many poc-
¶yeere, or nine yeere. A Tanner will last you nine yeere.
¶Ham. Why he more then another?
3360out water a great while; & your water is a sore decayer of your whor-
¶Ham. Nay I know not.
¶Kings Iester.
3370Ham. This?
¶Clow. Een that.
¶Ham. Alas poore Yoricke, I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite
¶sand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is: my gorge
¶oft, where be your gibes now? your gamboles, your songs, your fla-
ble on a roare, not one
¶now to mocke your owne grinning, quite chopfalne. Now get you
3380to my Ladies table, & tell her, let her paint an inch thicke, to this fa-
Prethee Horatio tell me one thing.
¶Hora. What's that my Lord?
¶a bunghole?
3395enough, and likelyhood to leade it. Alexander dyed, Alexander was
¶make Lome, & why of that Lome whereto he was conuerted, might
¶they not stoppe a Beare-barrell?
3400Imperious Cæsar dead, and turn'd to Clay,
¶Might stoppe a hole, to keepe the wind away.
¶O that that earth which kept the world in awe,
¶Should patch a wall t'expell the waters flaw.
¶The Queene, the Courtiers, who is this they follow?
Laertes and
the corse.
¶And with such maimed rites? this doth betoken,
¶Couch we a while and marke.
¶Laer. What Ceremonie els?
¶Ham. That is Laertes a very noble youth, marke.
¶Laer. What Ceremonie els?
¶As we haue warrantie, her death was doubtfull,
¶And but that great commaund ore-swayes the order,
¶Till the last trumpet: for charitable prayers,
3420Flints and peebles should be throwne on her:
¶Yet heere she is allow'd her virgin Crants,
¶Her mayden strewments, and the bringing home
¶Of bell and buriall.
3425Doct. No more be doone.
¶As to peace-parted soules.
¶Laer. Lay her i'th earth,
3430And from her faire and vnpolluted flesh
¶When thou lyest howling.
¶Ham. What, the faire Ophelia.
¶I thought thy bride-bed to haue deckt sweet maide,
¶And not haue strew'd thy graue.
¶Laer. O treble woe
3440Fall tenne times double on that cursed head,
¶Depriued thee of, hold off the earth a while,
¶Till I haue caught her once more in mine armes;
3445Now pile your dust vpon the quicke and dead,
¶Till of this flat a mountaine you haue made
¶Of blew Olympus.
¶Like wonder wounded hearers: this is I
¶Hamlet the Dane.
¶Yet haue I in me something dangerous,
¶Which let thy wisedome feare; hold off thy hand,
¶Quee. Hamlet, Hamlet.
3461.1All. Gentlemen.
¶Hora. Good my Lord be quiet.
¶Ham. Why, I will fight with him vpon this theame
¶Vntill my eye-lids will no longer wagge.
¶Could not with all theyr quantitie of loue
¶Make vp my summe. What wilt thou doo for her.
¶King. O he is mad Laertes.
3470Quee. For loue of God forbeare him.
¶Woo't drinke vp Esill, eate a Crocadile?
¶Ile doo't, doost come heere to whine?
3475To out-face me with leaping in her graue,
¶Be buried quicke with her, and so will I.
¶And if thou prate of mountaines, let them throw
¶Millions of Acres on vs, till our ground
¶Sindging his pate against the burning Zone
¶Ile rant as well as thou.
¶And this a while the fit will worke on him,
¶Anon as patient as the female Doue
¶I lou'd you euer, but it is no matter,
3490Let Hercules himselfe doe what he may
¶The Cat will mew, and Dogge will haue his day.
Exit Hamlet
and Horatio.
¶King. I pray thee good Horatio waite vpon him.
¶This graue shall haue a liuing monument,
¶Tell then in patience our proceeding be.
Exeunt.
