Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Matthew Steggle
Not Peer Reviewed

The Comedy of Errors (Folio 1, 1623)


1280
Enter Antipholus Ephes. with a Iailor.
An. Feare me not man, I will not breake away,
Ile giue thee ere I leaue thee so much money
To warrant thee as I am rested for.
My wife is in a wayward moode to day,
1285And will not lightly trust the Messenger,
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you 'twill sound harshly in her eares.
Enter Dromio Eph. with a ropes end.
Heere comes my Man, I thinke he brings the monie.
1290How now sir? Haue you that I sent you for?
E.Dro. Here's that I warrant you will pay them all.
Anti. But where's the Money?
E.Dro. Why sir, I gaue the Monie for the Rope.
Ant. Fiue hundred Duckets villaine for a rope?
1295E.Dro. Ile serue you sir fiue hundred at the rate.
Ant. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
E.Dro. To a ropes end sir, and to that end am I re-
turn'd.
Ant. And to that end sir, I will welcome you.
1300Offi. Good sir be patient.
E.Dro. Nay 'tis for me to be patient, I am in aduer-
sitie.
Offi. Good now hold thy tongue.
E.Dro. Nay, rather perswade him to hold his hands.
1305Anti. Thou whoreson senselesse Villaine.
E.Dro. I would I were senselesse sir, that I might
not feele your blowes.
Anti. Thou art sensible in nothing but blowes, and
so is an Asse.
1310E.Dro. I am an Asse indeede, you may prooue it by
my long eares. I haue serued him from the houre of my
Natiuitie to this instant, and haue nothing at his hands
for my seruice but blowes. When I am cold, he heates
me with beating: when I am warme, he cooles me with
1315beating: I am wak'd with it when I sleepe, rais'd with
it when I sit, driuen out of doores with it when I goe
from home, welcom'd home with it when I returne, nay
I beare it on my shoulders, as a begger woont her brat:
and I thinke when he hath lam'd me, I shall begge with
1320it from doore to doore.
Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtizan, and a Schoole-
master, call'd Pinch.
Ant. Come goe along, my wife is comming yon-
der.
1325E.Dro. Mistris respice finem, respect your end, or ra-
ther the prophesie like the Parrat, beware the ropes end.
Anti. Wilt thou still talke?
Beats Dro.
Curt. How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
Adri. His inciuility confirmes no lesse:
1330Good Doctor Pinch, you are a Coniurer,
Establish him in his true sence againe,
And I will please you what you will demand.
Luc. Alas how fiery, and how sharpe he lookes.
Cur. Marke, how he trembles in his extasie.
1335Pinch. Giue me your hand, and let mee feele your
pulse.
Ant. There is my hand, and let it feele your eare.
Pinch. I charge thee Sathan, hous'd within this man,
To yeeld possession to my holie praiers,
1340And to thy state of darknesse hie thee straight,
I coniure thee by all the Saints in heauen.
Anti. Peace doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.
Adr. Oh that thou wer't not, poore distressed soule.
Anti. You Minion you, are these your Customers?
1345Did this Companion with the saffron face
Reuell and feast it at my house to day,
Whil'st vpon me the guiltie doores were shut,
And I denied to enter in my house.
Adr. O husband, God doth know you din'd at home
1350Where would you had remain'd vntill this time,
Free from these slanders, and this open shame.
Anti. Din'd at home? Thou Villaine, what sayest
thou?
Dro. Sir sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
1355Ant. Were not my doores lockt vp, and I shut out?
Dro. Perdie, your doores were lockt, and you shut
out.
Anti. And did not she her selfe reuile me there?
Dro. Sans Fable, she her selfe reuil'd you there.
1360Anti. Did not her Kitchen maide raile, taunt, and
scorne me?
Dro. Certis she did, the kitchin vestall scorn'd you.
Ant. And did not I in rage depart from thence?
Dro. In veritie you did, my bones beares witnesse,
1365That since haue felt the vigor of his rage.
Adr. Is't good to sooth him in these crontraries?
Pinch. It is no shame, the fellow finds his vaine,
And yeelding to him, humors well his frensie.
Ant. Thou hast subborn'd the Goldsmith to arrest
1370mee.
Adr. Alas, I sent you Monie to redeeme you,
By Dromio heere, who came in hast for it.
Dro. Monie by me? Heart and good will you might,
But surely Master not a ragge of Monie.
1375Ant. Wentst not thou to her for a purse of Duckets.
Adri. He came to me, and I deliuer'd it.
Luci. And I am witnesse with her that she did:
Dro. God and the Rope-maker beare me witnesse,
That I was sent for nothing but a rope.
1380Pinch. Mistris, both Man and Master is possest,
I know it by their pale and deadly lookes,
They must be bound and laide in some darke roome.
Ant. Say wherefore didst thou locke me forth to day,
And why dost thou denie the bagge of gold?
1385Adr. I did not gentle husband locke thee forth.
Dro. And gentle Mr I receiu'd no gold:
But I confesse sir, that we were lock'd out.
Adr. Dissembling Villain, thou speak'st false in both
Ant. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,
1390And art confederate with a damned packe,
To make a loathsome abiect scorne of me:
But with these nailes, Ile plucke out these false eyes,
That would behold in me this shamefull sport.
Enter three or foure, and offer to binde him:
1395Hee striues.
Adr. Oh binde him, binde him, let him not come
neere me.
Pinch. More company, the fiend is strong within him
Luc. Aye me poore man, how pale and wan he looks.
1400Ant. What will you murther me, thou Iailor thou?
I am thy prisoner, wilt thou suffer them to make a res-
cue?
Offi. Masters let him go: he is my prisoner, and you
shall not haue him.
1405Pinch. Go binde this man, for he is franticke too.
Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peeuish Officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himselfe?
Offi. He is my prisoner, if I let him go,
1410The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.
Adr. I will discharge thee ere I go from thee,
Beare me forthwith vnto his Creditor,
And knowing how the debt growes I will pay it.
Good Master Doctor see him safe conuey'd
1415Home to my house, oh most vnhappy day.
Ant. Oh most vnhappie strumpet.
Dro. Master, I am heere entred in bond for you.
Ant. Out on thee Villaine, wherefore dost thou mad
mee?
1420Dro. Will you be bound for nothing, be mad good
Master, cry the diuell.
Luc. God helpe poore soules, how idlely doe they
talke.
Adr. Go beare him hence, sister go you with me:
1425Say now, whose suite is he arrested at?
Exeunt. Manet Offic. Adri. Luci. Courtizan
Off. One Angelo a Goldsmith, do you know him?
Adr. I know the man: what is the summe he owes?
Off. Two hundred Duckets.
1430Adr. Say, how growes it due.
Off. Due for a Chaine your husband had of him.
Adr. He did bespeake a Chain for me, but had it not.
Cur. When as your husband all in rage to day
Came to my house, and tooke away my Ring,
1435The Ring I saw vpon his finger now,
Straight after did I meete him with a Chaine.
Adr. It may be so, but I did neuer see it.
Come Iailor, bring me where the Goldsmith is,
I long to know the truth heereof at large.
1440
Enter Antipholus Siracusia with his Rapier drawne,
and Dromio Sirac.
Luc. God for thy mercy, they are loose againe.
Adr. And come with naked swords,
Let's call more helpe to haue them bound againe.
1445
Runne all out.
Off. Away, they'l kill vs.
Exeunt omnes, as fast as may be, frighted.
S.Ant. I see these Witches are affraid of swords.
S.Dro. She that would be your wife, now ran from
1450you.
Ant. Come to the Centaur, fetch our stuffe from
thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboord.
Dro. Faith stay heere this night, they will surely do
1455vs no harme: you saw they speake vs faire, giue vs gold:
me thinkes they are such a gentle Nation, that but for
the Mountaine of mad flesh that claimes mariage of me,
I could finde in my heart to stay heere still, and turne
Witch.
1460Ant. I will not stay to night for all the Towne,
Therefore away, to get our stuffe aboord.
Exeunt