¶Adri. Backe
slaue, or I will breake thy pate a-cro
sse.
355Dro. And he will ble
sse
yt cro
sse with other beating:
¶Betweene you, I
shall haue a holy head.
¶Adri. Hence prating pe
sant, fetch thy Ma
ster home.
¶Dro. Am I
so round with you, as you with me,
¶That like a foot-ball you doe
spurne me thus:
360You
spurne me hence, and he will
spurne me hither,
¶If I la
st in this
seruice, you mu
st ca
se me in leather.
¶Luci. Fie how impatience lowreth in your face.
¶Adri. His company mu
st do his minions grace,
¶Whil'
st I at home
starue for a merrie looke:
365Hath homelie age th' alluring beauty tooke
¶From my poore cheeke? then he hath wa
sted it.
¶Are my di
scour
ses dull? Barren my wit,
¶If voluble and
sharpe di
scour
se be mar'd,
¶Vnkindne
sse blunts it more then marble hard.
370Doe their gay ve
stments his affections baite?
¶That's not my fault, hee's ma
ster of my
state.
¶What ruines are in me that can be found,
¶By him not ruin'd? Then is he the ground
¶Of my defeatures. My decayed faire,
375A
sunnie looke of his, would
soone repaire.
¶But, too vnruly Deere, he breakes the pale,
¶And feedes from home; poore I am but his
stale.
¶Luci. Selfe-harming Iealou
sie; fie beat it hence.
¶Ad. Vnfeeling fools can with
such wrongs di
spence:
380I know his eye doth homage other-where,
¶Or el
se, what lets it but he would be here?
¶Si
ster, you know he promis'd me a chaine,
¶Would that alone, a loue he would detaine,
¶So he would keepe faire quarter with his bed:
385I
see the Iewell be
st enamaled
¶Will loo
se his beautie: yet the gold bides
still
¶That others touch, and often touching will,
¶Where gold and no man that hath a name,
¶By fal
shood and corruption doth it
shame:
390Since that my beautie cannot plea
se his eie,
¶Ile weepe (what's left away) and weeping die.
¶Luci. How manie fond fooles
serue mad Ielou
sie?
¶ Enter Antipholis Errotis.
395Ant. The gold I gaue to
Dromio is laid vp
¶Safe at the
Centaur, and the heedfull
slaue
¶Is wandred forth in care to
seeke me out
¶By computation and mine ho
sts report.
¶I could not
speake with
Dromio, since at fir
st
400I
sent him from the Mart?
see here he comes.
¶How now
sir, is your merrie humor alter'd?
¶As you loue
stroakes,
so ie
st with me againe:
¶You know no
Centaur? you receiu'd no gold?
405Your Mi
stre
sse
sent to haue me home to dinner?
¶My hou
se was at the
Phoenix? Wa
st thou mad,
¶That thus
so madlie thou did did
st an
swere me?
¶S.Dro. What an
swer
sir? when
spake I
such a word?
¶E.Ant. Euen now, euen here, not halfe an howre
since.
410S.Dro. I did not
see you
since you
sent me hence
¶Home to the
Centaur with the gold you gaue me.
¶Ant. Villaine, thou did
st denie the golds receit,
¶And told
st me of a Mi
stre
sse, and a dinner,
¶For which I hope thou felt
st I was di
spleas'd.
415S.Dro. I am glad to
see you in this merrie vaine,
¶What meanes this ie
st, I pray you Ma
ster tell me?
¶Ant. Yea, do
st thou ieere & flowt me in the teeth?
¶Think
st
yu I ie
st? hold, take thou that, & that.
¶S.Dr. Hold
sir, for Gods
sake, now your ie
st is earne
st,
420Vpon what bargaine do you giue it me?
¶Antiph. Becau
se that I familiarlie
sometimes
¶Doe v
se you for my foole, and chat with you,
¶Your
sawcine
sse will ie
st vpon my loue,
¶And make a Common of my
serious howres,
425When the
sunne
shines, let fooli
sh gnats make
sport,
¶But creepe in crannies, when he hides his beames:
¶If you will ie
st with me, know my a
spect,
¶And fa
shion your demeanor to my lookes,
¶Or I will beat this method in your
sconce.
430S.Dro. Sconce call you it?
so you would leaue batte-
¶ring, I had rather haue it a head, and you v
se the
se blows
¶long, I mu
st get a
sconce for my head, and In
sconce it
¶to, or el
se I
shall
seek my wit in my
shoulders, but I pray
435Ant. Do
st thou not know?
¶S.Dro. Nothing
sir, but that I am beaten.
¶Ant. Shall I tell you why?
¶S.Dro. I
sir, and wherefore; for they
say, euery why
440Ant. Why fir
st for flowting me, and then wherefore,
¶for vrging it the
second time to me.
¶S.Dro. Was there euer anie man thus beaten out of
¶sea
son, when in the why and the wherefore, is neither
¶rime nor rea
son. Well
sir, I thanke you.
445Ant. Thanke me
sir, for what?
¶S.Dro. Marry
sir, for this
something that you gaue me
¶Ant. Ile make you amends next, to giue you nothing
¶for
something. But
say
sir, is it dinner time?
450S.Dro. No
sir, I thinke the meat wants that I haue.
¶Ant. In good time
sir: what's that?
¶Ant. Well
sir, then 'twill be drie.
¶S.Dro. If it be
sir, I pray you eat none of it.
¶S.Dro. Le
st it make you chollericke, and purcha
se me
¶Ant. Well
sir, learne to ie
st in good time, there's a
460S.Dro. I dur
st haue denied that before you were
so
¶S.Dro. Marry
sir, by a rule as plaine as the plaine bald
¶pate of Father time him
selfe.
¶S.Dro. There's no time for a man to recouer his haire
¶that growes bald by nature.
¶Ant. May he not doe it by fine and recouerie?
¶S.Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a perewig, and recouer
470the lo
st haire of another man.
¶Ant. Why, is Time
such a niggard of haire, being (as
¶it is)
so plentifull an excrement?
¶S.Dro. Becau
se it is a ble
ssing that hee be
stowes on
¶bea
sts, and what he hath
scanted them in haire, hee hath
¶Ant. Why, but theres manie a man hath more haire
¶S.Dro. Not a man of tho
se but he hath the wit to lo
se
480Ant. Why thou did
st conclude hairy men plain dea-
¶S.Dro. The plainer dealer, the
sooner lo
st; yet he loo-
¶seth it in a kinde of iollitie.
485S.Dro. For two, and
sound ones to.