Much Ado About Nothing (Quarto 1, 1600)
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¶
Enter Leonato gouernour of Messina, Innogen his wife, Hero
¶
his daughter, and Beatrice his neece, with a
messenger.
¶
Leonato.
5I Learne in this letter, that don Peter of Arragon
¶Mess. He is very neare by this, he was not three
¶leagues off when I left him.
¶home ful numbers: I find here, that don Peter hath bestowed
¶much honour on a yong Florentine called Claudio.
¶his age, doing in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion, he hath
¶indeed better bettred expectation then you must expect of me
20to tell you how.
¶glad of it.
¶Mess. I haue already deliuered him letters, and there ap-
¶Leo. Did he breake out into teares?
¶ioy, then to ioy at weeping?
¶Beatr. I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returnd from the
¶warres or no?
¶Messen. I know none of that name, ladie, there was none
40Cupid at the Flight, and my vncles foole reading the chalenge
¶pray you, how many hath he kild and eaten in these warres?
¶but how many hath he kild? for indeede I promised to eate all
¶of his killing.
45Leo. Faith neece you taxe Signior Benedicke too much,
¶but heele be meet with you, I doubt it not.
¶he is a very valiaunt trencher man, he hath an excellent sto-
50macke.
¶Lord?
55rable vertues.
¶the stuffing wel, we are al mortall.
¶of mery warre betwixt Signior Benedicke and her, they neuer
¶fiue wits went halting off, and now is the whole man gouernd
¶for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasona-
¶ble creature, who is his companion now? he hath euery month
¶a new sworne brother.
¶shion of his hat, it euer changes with the next blocke.
¶you who is his companion? is there no yong squarer now that
¶will make a voyage with him to the diuell?
80dio.
¶ly madde, God help the noble Claudio, if he haue caught the
¶Mess. I will holde friends with you Ladie.
¶Beat. Do good friend.
¶Leon. You will neuer runne madde niece.
¶Beat. No, not till a hote Ianuary.
90Mess. Don Pedro is approacht.
¶
Enter don Pedro, Claudio, Benedicke, Balthasar
¶and Iohn the bastard.
95counter it.
¶your grace, for trouble being gone, comfort should remaine:
¶but when you depart from mee, sorrow abides, and happines
¶takes his leaue.
100Pedro You embrace your charge too willingly: I thincke
¶this is your daughter.
¶Leonato Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a child.
¶what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers her selfe:
¶be happy Lady, for you are like an honourable father.
¶dicke, no body markes you.
¶loued of all Ladies, onelie you excepted: and I would I could
¶finde in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truely I loue
¶none.
¶beene troubled with a pernitious suter, I thanke God and my
¶cold blood, I am of your humour for that, I had rather heare
¶my dog barke at a crow, than a man sweare he loues me.
¶a face as yours were.
135Bene. Well, you are a rare parrat teacher.
¶so good a continuer, but keep your way a Gods name, I haue
140done.
¶Beat. You alwayes end with a iades tricke, I knowe you of
¶olde.
¶and signior Benedicke, my deere friend Leonato, hath inuited
¶sweare he is no hypocrite, but praies from his heart.
150let mee bidde you welcome, my lord, being reconciled to the
¶Prince your brother: I owe you all duetie.
¶Iohn I thanke you, I am not of many wordes, but I thanke
¶you
¶Pedro Your hand Leonato, we wil go together.
¶
Exeunt. Manent Benedicke & Claudio.
160Bene. I noted her not, but I lookte on her,
¶lie this commendation I can affoord her, that were shee other
¶is, I do not like her.
¶truelie how thou lik'st her.
¶Bene. Would you buie her that you enquier after her?
¶with a sad brow? or doe you play the flowting iacke, to tell vs
¶Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare Carpenter:
¶lookt on.
¶exceedes her as much in beautie, as the first of Maie dooth the
¶band, haue you?
190the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife.
¶needes thrust thy necke into a yoke, weare the print of it, and
¶
Enter don Pedro, Iohn the bastard.
¶not to Leonatoes?
¶Pedro I charge thee on thy allegeance.
¶man, I woulde haue you thinke so (but on my allegiance,
205marke you this, on my allegiance) he is in loue, with who? now
¶Hero Leonatoes short daughter.
¶Pedro Amen, if you loue her, for the Lady is very well
215worthy.
¶Bened. And by my two faiths and troths, my Lorde, I
220spoke mine.
¶Clau. That I loue her, I feele.
is the opinion that fire can
225not melt out of me, I will die in it at the stake.
¶spight of Beauty.
¶Clau. And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the force
230of his wil.
¶that I will haue a rechate winded in my forehead, or hang my
¶which I may go the finer,) I will liue a bacheller.
¶Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I loose more blood with
¶loue then I will get againe with drinking, picke out mine eies
¶with a Ballad-makers penne, and hang me vp at the doore of a
¶prooue a notable argument.
¶me, and he that hits me, let him be clapt on the shoulder, and
250calld Adam.
¶beare the yoake.
¶dicke beare it, plucke off the bulls hornes, and set them in my
255forehead, and let me be vildly painted, and in such great let-
¶man.
260madde.
¶thou wilt quake for this shortly.
¶Bened. I looke for an earthquake too then.
¶Pedro Well, you will temporize with the howres, in the
265meane time, good signior Benedicke, repaire to Leonatoes,
¶commend me to him, and tell him I will not faile him at sup-
¶per, for indeede he hath made great preparation.
exit_
280good.
¶Pedro My loue is thine to teach, teach it but how,
¶Doost thou affect her Claudio?
¶Claudio O my lord,
¶When you went onward on this ended action,
¶I lookt vpon her with a souldiers eie,
290That likt, but had a rougher taske in hand,
¶Than to driue liking to the name of loue:
¶But now I am returnde, and that warre-thoughts,
¶Haue left their places vacant: in their roomes,
295All prompting mee how faire yong Hero is,
¶Saying I likt her ere I went to warres.
¶And tire the hearer with a booke of words,
300And I wil breake with hir, and with her father,
And thou shalt haue her: wast not to this end,
¶That know loues griefe by his complexion!
¶Pedro What need the bridge much broder then the flood?
¶And I wil fit thee with the remedie,
310I know we shall haue reuelling to night,
¶And tell faire Hero I am Claudio,
¶And take her hearing prisoner with the force
315And strong incounter of my amorous tale:
¶Then after, to her father will I breake,
exeunt.
