Internet Shakespeare Editions

Author: William Shakespeare
Editor: Grechen Minton
Not Peer Reviewed

Much Ado About Nothing (Quarto 1, 1600)


about Nothing.
630sion is in the stealer.
Benedicke Yet it had not beene amisse the rodde had beene
made, & the garland too, for the garland he might haue worn
himselfe, and the rodde he might haue bestowed on you, who
(as I take it) haue stolne his birds nest.
635Pedro I wil but teach them to sing, and restore them to the
owner.
Benedicke If their singing answer your saying, by my faith
you say honestly.
Pedro The ladie Beatrice hath a quarrell to you, the Gen-
640tleman that daunst with her, told her shee is much wrongd by
you.
Bened. O shee misusde me past the indurance of a blocke:
an oake but with one greene leafe on it, would haue answered
her: my very visor beganne to assume life, and scold with her:
645she tolde me, not thinking I had beene my selfe, that I was the
Princes iester, that I was duller than a great thawe, huddleing
iest vpon iest, with such impossible conueiance vpon me, that
I stoode like a man at a marke, with a whole army shooting
at me: she speakes poynyards, and euery word stabbes: if her
650breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no liu-
ing neere her, shee would infect to the north starre: I woulde
not marry her, though shee were indowed with al that Adam
had left him before he transgrest, she would haue made Her-
655cules haue turnd spit, yea, and haue cleft his club to make the
fire too: come, talke not of her, you shall find her the infernall
Ate in good apparell, I would to God some scholler woulde
coniure her, for certainely, while she is heere, a man may liue
as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuarie, and people sinne vpon pur-
660pose, because they would goe thither, so indeede all disquiet,
horrour, and perturbation followes her.
Enter Claudio and Beatrice.
Pedro Looke heere she comes.
665Benedicke Will your grace command me any seruice to the
worldes end? I will go on the slightest arrand now to the An-
typodes that you can deuise to send mee on: I will fetch you a
tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia: bring you
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